I only started realizing how different I was when I was around ten years old. I began to question why my big sister, Nadeshiko, never allowed me to bathe with my best friend, Himawari Furutani when we were little. The knowledge of how incredibly different we are has set a barrier between us that I mentally can't get past. Add the growth of my feelings for her, and you have a ruined friendship full of arguments and distrust. When we were in Middle School, that type of relationship didn't matter, but in High School…it did.
I'm in love with my best friend, and lonely beyond comparison. At eighteen I had no boyfriend …or girlfriend, which was more likely in my case. Himawari was everything a girl should be, and everything I wasn't. She was all wide hips, bouncing breasts, and plump lips. She was what guys dreamed of, but couldn't have. And myself…I'm opposite that.…I'm pretty sure I was built wrong by God. Not only did I have a flat chest, but there was also a secret that lay between my thighs that made me very much different than Himawari, or any other girl for that matter. A dick, a cock, a penis, whatever the hell you want to call it. As for myself, I call it my misery.
My friendship with Himawari began its inevitable downfall in Middle School. We began to fight about the stupidest things, yet there was still this undertone that lay beneath it all that made others know for sure that we were friends. But…It had gotten to me, how different I was. the fact that I couldn't stop wanting her... I wanted to break the emotional hold she unconsciously had over me, and if I was to be completely honest, the physical one as well. I desired her more than anything. I couldn't stop fantasizing about her! I couldn't stop picturing her, her above me, saddling my crotch. I could picture her hands on my shoulders, her eyes narrow with need, need for me, as she moved her body, as I moved inside her. But…the friendship fully disappeared about a month ago, when our tiring arguments turned physical. The day I hit her…it all ended between us.
I hurt her. I lost control of my hatred for being so abnormal and I smacked her, so hard she collapsed upon my bed, clutching her face, her eyes full of fright and pain and looking at me like I was some kind of monster. A fucking freak. She might of well have screamed at me that I was a freak. And I was. I was too horrible to be considered a human being. Having sexual fantasies about my best friend, hitting her, being a girl but having a penis…disgusting, far too disgusting to be human. I had apologized, gotten to my knees, and apologized. She had gathered her stuff and without another word, had left. I haven't forgiven myself since.
I smiled weakly at my friend Akari Akaza, who was blushing and talking softly about nothing in particular. "Yeah," I nodded at whatever she had said. Her face split into a surprised expression, her head cocked slightly. Why was she so confused..?
"Really? You'll really go out with her?" I blinked, wait…what? Date someone? Dammit Akari, why did you have to be so easy to ignore? I got caught up in my thoughts, blocked her out of my mind mentally. She was more than average in appearance, she had been cute in Middle School, and now in High School... she was absolutely gorgeous. She closely resembled what her sister Akane looked like at this age. Then again, Akane hadn't changed all that much. Akari still had those two strange buns in her hair, but her hair itself was longer, reaching the bottom of her back. She had filled out quite a bit as well; her chest wasn't small, but not exactly large. A handful, if I was to guess.
"What," I asked in confusion. Akari's crystal blue eyes shot over to where a cute girl sat, hiding her face in a book. She was an attractive one; I realized what had just happened. I ran my eyes over her figure, over her sea green eyes, and long baby blue hair, hanging in a silky rope over her breasts, which were very appealing. I ran my tongue over my lips, her eyes met mine and she blushed. I met Akari's eyes with a smile, "Sure…I'll go out with her. Why not?"
"Really!? Awesome, I'll go and tell her, I honestly thought you were going to say no, after all, you're so hung up over Himawari…"
"What," My eyes shot to hers, narrowed.
"I'm sorry! I spoke before I thought," She hurried away, smiling as she spoke quietly into the girl's ear. I glanced over; it felt like someone was looking at me. It made me itchy and irritable. I bit my lips softly as I saw who the eyes belonged to. She was staring silently, chewing the eraser end of her pencil. I trembled slightly, looking away. I couldn't look at her, not without feeling ashamed. I stood, and walked over to the girl, who was blushing and talking fast to Akari, I lowered my eyes.
"I'm sorry. I can't go out with you. I like someone else; it would be rude of me to pretend to like you, to use you. I'm sorry," I whispered, bowing my head low. "You could find so much better than me." With a weak smile, I walked away. Out of the classroom. The teacher called my name; I yelled back that I had my period. He took the hint and let me go. Y'know, despite what girls say about it, I wish I had my damn period in real life.
I slid my shirt off, tossing it in my hamper. I stared at the ground, it was so lonely. Usually, I'd be over Himawari's and arguing with her about random shit. Not now, not ever again. My cell rang, I reached into my pants and pulled it out, "Yeah," I muttered, running my fingers through my wavy hair. My mouth fell open when I heard who was on the other end.
"Hey, Sakurako. We need to talk."
"H…Hima! Listen, I'm sorry-"
"I don't want a damn apology, I want an explanation. I'll be there in a couple minutes. See you," Before I could protest, there was a click on the other end and the call was over.
"Dammit," I threw the phone onto my bed with a snarl, resting my forehead against the wall and closing my eyes. For a moment, I just stood there and tried to relax. Who did she think she was just inviting herself over like that?! I clenched my teeth, before hastily pulling on a tee and some sweatpants. I needed to think. I couldn't even imagine what she was going to say or ask or accuse me of. How would I respond if she was caught up on me hitting her? What if she told someone? I rubbed my temples as I walked downstairs, thankful Nadeshiko had taken Hanako out. We would be fighting most likely, I'd make sure to keep my temper in check this time around. I spent a minute or two waiting downstairs and the doorbell rung.
I took a deep breath. Fuck. I was scared of this; I had feared this ever since I laid my damn fingers on her. Would she ever forgive me? I took in the sight of her when I opened the door. Breathtakingly beautiful as always, a single hand on her hip, and her smoldering eyes already set on me. I clenched my fists nervously…when had I started sweating? I wasn't sure but my hands were slick, I opened my mouth to speak but she was already shoving past me. I closed my eyes and sighed. "Himawari…some warning would have been nice, I could have been busy," I muttered, turning my eyes on her. She was such a beautiful girl, and she could be such an angel sometimes…now clearly wasn't going to be one of those times.
"I might consider that next time," She scowled, tucking her skirt beneath her as she slid onto my couch. She looked so confident, or she would have to anyone other than me. She was…just as scared as me, but for different reasons I guessed. Had she…said next time? I tucked my hands into my pants with a shake of my head, sitting down next to her.
"There shouldn't be a next time," I said softly, staring at the ground, "What I did to you…just…just wasn't right," I ran my fingers through my wavy hair, then looked at her, "don't forgive me alright?" She seemed surprised, her eyes wide. Then she looked away as well, crossing her arms.
"Don't tell me what to do," She muttered crossly, I chuckled dryly at that. She never changed, did she? "Just because you said that I'm going to spend time with you again, and not because I know you really want to…" I raised a brow at this, what was she going on about? I touched the top of her leg, clutching it a bit.
"I'm…being serious Hima. I don't want to hurt you again."
"I missed you Sakurako, us not being friends hurt more than your weak little slap did," She insisted, grabbing me by the shirt and pressing close. My cheeks burned, her chest was against mine and I cursed those humungous things on her chest to the bottom of the earth! They were way too soft against me, too large. I trembled just a bit. She was being so sincere right now. Her eyes wet with tears. "I want to be friends with you, I'm sorry for fighting with you all the time, I swear…I swear I'll stop pissing you off just don't leave me, okay?!" My eyes widened further, what was she saying? She thought this was her fault, didn't she? I was such a bitch. Such a huge, horrible bitch!
"Hima," I said sharply, "You didn't do anything wrong," I snapped. Her chocolate eyes met mine, and before I knew it, I felt like I was going to cry too. "I swear you didn't," I choked, my throat tightening, "It's…it's my fault. I…I've been dealing with an issue. It's completely my fault so just…just get out of here already."
She touched my shoulder gently, stroked my cheek with soft fingers, "You can trust me. Don't burden yourself anymore, don't be alone," She said in a whispery tone, and at that moment, I was overwhelmed. By what a….piece of perfection she was. She blamed herself for me hitting her, didn't blame me for doing it…and now she's willing to help the person who hit her? How did that even work? She wasn't exactly smiling, but those plump pink lips were curled up in such a reassuring fashion….I couldn't control myself anymore.
"You want to know what's wrong," I said softly, she hesitated, before nodding. I made up my mind and without a moment's hesitation, I pressed my mouth firmly to hers. Her eyes shot wide with shock, a blush spreading across her cheeks like fire. I didn't move an inch when she struggled just a bit. I simply put an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against me. She whimpered softly as I pulled away. I clasped my hand around her wrist, moving her hand down my belly until it reached the area between my thighs. If she was shocked before she was ten times more shocked now, she cried out as she pulled away, I snarled and gripped her wrist tighter, I scowled as I pressed her palm to me.
"Feel it? Feel my secret," I whispered coldly, "Feel the way you make it hard, the way you make me wanna cum?" I swelled against my sweats, even more, when she glanced at it. "Sak-Sakurako, what the hell is that?" She demanded, squeezing her eyes shut tight. Was it so hideous she didn't want to look?
"Hell," I chuckled, "What is it? Hmmm, I believe it's called a cock. And beneath it is my vagina."
"You're a…hermaphrodite," She whispered curiously, I nodded seriously and stared at her. She trembled, "But what does that have to do with me…why can't we be friends, just because you have one of these…and why did you kiss me?"
"You know why Himawari. I already told you."
"Because…you're in love with me because I...because I make you hard down there," She said slowly, breathily. I didn't respond and she opened her eyes, blushing deeply. "Well, maybe I umm, love you too."
"You don't sound too sure of that," I responded, she nodded and pushed her body more against me. She placed a gentle kiss on my lips, sweet and chaste. She slipped onto my lap until she straddled it, firm on my crotch. I don't think I'd ever been so aroused in my life. Her mouth sealed mine when I opened my lips to speak, unbearably soft as she kissed me gently. I spread my legs a bit, groaning when I felt myself slide in snug between her thighs. It was smoldering hot down below, chaotic and arousing. Fuck, I had never had a girl so intimate with me this far and I loved it so much. Especially because It was the girl of my dreams, of my fantasies.
My Himawari. I held her close as I kissed back, grasping her cheek softly as I pressed my tongue to her teeth. She parted her lips easily, letting me inside. I slid my tongue against hers, and got my first taste of her... if you didn't count the one time we kissed when we were younger, tongue and all and totally clueless. We had just wanted to be "French," and my older sister wasn't exactly discouraging it.
"Nnh," She gasped as I moved my mouth down hers, to the curve of her jaw, to the soft flesh of her neck. She whimpered, her hips shifting against mine. I held her firmer with a little laugh and reached her breasts. She flushed as I gently undid her blouse, slipping it up over her, and tossing it on the cushion next to me. Her breasts were…unbearably gorgeous, large and soft and firm at the same time. Her bra was a soft baby blue, I slid my fingers around her back, fumbling to unhook it. The sight of her bare breasts was ten times better than the sight of her clothed ones, and for a moment I just stared. I took action only when she smacked my head, furiously embarrassed. I gently played my hands around her flesh, squeezing the softness and pressing my lips along It as well. I kissed her with a grin.
"You know, I never really hated these things," I said in a teasing tone, she looked at me in annoyance.
"You just had to break the intimate moment," She said softly; she covered my mouth with hers before I could respond to that little remark. I hoisted her up slightly, repositioning her so she lay on her back. I kissed down her belly, loving the way the warm flesh felt on my lips. She squeaked, grabbing my hair. "What are you doing Sakurako!?"
"…Eating you out," I said in confusion, before grabbing her hand and pulling it off. She flushed but went silent as I pulled her skirt down her long legs. She avoided my eyes and I couldn't help but grin as I tossed it aside, before nipping at the insides of her thighs. Her whines and protests simply encouraged my actions, along with the heat between my legs and the all-around desire to simply pleasure my girl. The front of her panties was damp and wet with anticipation, and I took a moment to think. Anticipation for…me. I grasped the strings and pulled them down her legs. Her scent overwhelmed me, a sweet and musky scent. My cheeks felt hot, I was really about to do this…grasping the sides of her hips, I slipped my tongue out to taste.
She gasped harshly, almost a whine as my tongue touched along her, I parted her lower lips, delving deep. I couldn't really describe the taste, salty and…I don't know, but I liked it that was for sure. She was moist and wet on my mouth and the more I licked the more wet she seemed to get. I reached my fingers up to tease her little bundle of nerves, earning a short squeak and even more moisture on my tongue. Her hands found their way into my hair, and I had to assume she was feeling good because her grip was iron. She shoved my face further between her thighs, I nipped at her clit, before pressing the tip of my finger inside her. I got a strange reaction from this, she spread her legs wider.
I felt hot all over as I pressed inside a slick cocoon of warmth. I added a digit. She was tight around me, my wrist almost hurt as I pressed inside repeatedly. My thrusts were fast and harsh, I spread my two fingers a bit, scissoring them slightly and pressing against her sticky inner walls. I leaned down and lapped above my fingers, running my tongue around her swollen clitoris. Her legs spread even wider, revealing even more of her pussy to me. I teased my tongue around her, flicking it against the hot tip of her clit. One more lick to her tiny bundle of nerves, and she was cumming. "F…fuck, fuck," She practically sobbed, "Sakurako…" Her body was racked with shivers and loud cries exploded from her. As they began to cease, I slowed the pace of my fingers. She slumped, panting hard.0
I grinned deeply, "Was I good," I asked. She nodded in embarrassment, cheeks a pretty shade of red.
"Do you…want to…y'know," She blushed. "Go inside me?" My lips spread into a wide smile.
"Can I really?!"
"You're acting like a kid," She muttered, crossing her arms. "Of course you can." I crawled up her body, pressing my groin to hers. My dick was incredibly hard and swollen from neglect. She hadn't really touched it at all. I had feared she wouldn't want to... She ran her nails through my hair,
"Y'know Hima, I've wanted to do this for so long…" I pressed my lips to hers. After a long moment, she struggled, flushing. I pulled away, "What's the matter?"
"I can taste myself… "She squeaked, covering her mouth with her hand.
I rolled my eyes, before sighing. "Okay, whatever," I pushed her palm to my groin. "Just take care of this," I pleaded. Her brown eyes widened.
"It's so big and hard," She whispered in awe, I closed my eye shut as she squeezed it. Fuck, she felt good. She cupped it and rubbed upward along the covered flesh. Much to my joy, her hands played with the waistband of my sweats, and she pulled them down my legs as much as she could. My eyes shot wide and a cry tore from me as her bare hand touched my cock. I threw my head back and almost came right there. She was actually touching me she was actually touching me! She giggled in amusement at my reaction, and now it was my turn to blush. She held me tight, and I couldn't help but buck my hips a bit when she began to palm me up and down my length, teasing a thumb over the head. "Did I make you…this hard," She asked softly.
"O…obviously," I whispered in embarrassment, she giggled.
"Did I make you...this wet," She asked as she pressed her palm against my lower part. I nearly jumped; I hadn't even noticed how hot and soaked I had gotten there. I was so consumed by my dick... She smiled, using one hand to grip my cock and stroke it, the other cautiously teased at the entrance to my pussy. I pressed my head into her neck, I'd never done that spot. It was much more…intimate for me…her breath was warm on my cheek as she slowly inched her fingers inside me.
"Nhhh," I gasped, pressing my hands onto her shoulders to prop myself up. Her eyes met mine, she was blushing too. She hesitated before kissing me; I pressed my lips back eagerly. Her fingertips brushed a certain spot inside; I tensed as she began to thrust her fingers. "Unh," I cried out, her free hand held my member, pressing upwards on the flesh, her palm rounding on the dripping tip. The next few seconds were hot and smoldering, I could barely think. The dual sensation of her touching my cock and pussy overwhelming…I kissed her again, fuck fuck, I couldn't even think. I shifted, wanting more of those slender fingers in me, around me. Much to my horror, she pulled free from me, both hands.
I watched in confusion and rage as she licked the moisture from her fingers, "Relax Saku, I just want you inside me," She murmured, I paused. Oh…right. I was severely embarrassed; I had thought…she was going to leave me to suffer. I pouted and nodded.
"S…sorry," I shifted again, climbing off the couch and facing her. I was rock hard at the prospect of this. I was really going to…clearly. She spread her legs for me, blushed, and then covered herself. She was as embarrassed as me. That was reassuring. I gripped the sides of her legs, cautiously pressing my cock against her hot entrance. She nodded, trembling a bit. I closed my eyes and pressed deep inside slowly. She was like magma around my length, wet and intensely hot. Fuck, this was…this feeling. It was like she was sucking me inside. About halfway through I was met with resistance. Hymen…I froze.
"You can break it, just break it," Himawari whimpered, fear written across her face. I knew how much this was gonna hurt, and I was reluctant to do as she said. She wrapped her legs around my hips, "Please Sakurako," She yelled. I nodded quickly and thrust with all my strength. She let out a cry, and before I knew it she was crying. I kissed at her tears. "It's okay," She whispered, I didn't move an inch. I clenched and unclenched my fists, watching as her expression went from agonized to something calmer Her breath was hoarse. I felt bad, she felt pain but I didn't…"I'm better, you can thrust now."
"Himawari, are you sure-"
"Thrust," She snapped. I nodded quickly and did as told. Her arms slid around my shoulders, her legs tightening around my waist as she pulled me close. I was sweating along with her, our bodies flush against each other. I kissed her as I began to move my hips hard, her nails dug into my back. I wanted to be gentle, it was her first time, but I found myself unable to slow down. She didn't complain though, holding me close as I went at it. My breath grew labored and harsh, fuck, I was going to cum! The front door to my house opened just as I did, my cock exploded deep inside of Hima, I could feel my cum pumping into her slowly.
There was a long moment of silence.
"…Oh my GOD! WHAT THE HECK SAKURAKO," My younger sister squealed, covering her eyes as she ran into the house.
"Sakurako, why…" I blinked at the sudden look of rage on Himawari's face, "WHY WOULD YOU LET US HAVE SEX HERE?!"
"It-it isn't my fault! You didn't exactly say no! Ow, Hima! Don't hit me!"
"I'll kill you," Nadeshiko said in an almost monotone voice. "That my favorite spot on the couch."