Premise- Derek tries to put a stop to Kevin and Penelope as soon as they start dating. But is just wanting her to be his going to be enough? What is it that he doesn't understand about her?

The title of this story is a fragment of a line from the Bruce Springsteen song Secret Garden. This story is extremely angst ridden. It purposefully only has Derek's POV so it's a mystery what Penelope is feeling as this all plays out. As Derek figures her out so will readers.

This has six chapters.

Will Always Stay

Chapter One

December 2007

The anger he felt when she told him about her planned date with the computer tech was only eclipsed by the hurt he felt over it. But he tried to keep those emotions off his face as he asked her, while standing in her lair, "Do you really think it's the right time to be starting something with a new guy?"

"I'm back at work now-"

"Its your first day back, baby girl."

"I'm back and I want to get my life going again."

"With Lynch?" He really tried not to sneer out the name of the little weasel who was trying to get his girl away from him. This whole thing felt like a nightmare to Derek. But this time he knew he would not wake up from it and be at home in bed- sweaty but safe.

He had thought him and Penelope had finally gotten there. To that place where they both felt the same thing at the same time. He never felt closer to her then when he was staying at her place after she was shot. But now she was better and she had sent him back home.

And somehow gotten interested in another guy without Derek having any clue about it before that guy asked her on a date, which she said yes to and then told Derek about like it was normal for her to be dating some other guy. Derek knew he did not imagine telling his baby girl he loved her or hearing her say back she loved him too.

So what in the hell was going on? Why was she trying to give his love away to some other man?

Penelope looked him straight in the eye and said "Kevin is like me."

"What does that mean? You barely know him. What could you like about him after one meeting? What could he like about you when all he knows is your job?"

"I don't understand why you act like no one could ever want me, Derek. That's not true and its insulting!"

"Baby girl-"

"Just because you could never imagine dating me doesn't mean that every man I meet is the same as you. My last date ended up nearly killing me. I think maybe this is the point where you give me some credit for being brave enough to jump in the dating pool again instead of criticize my choice."

He put up his hands. "Okay, okay. You want Kevin." Derek forced a smile. "Then have him, baby. Hope it all works out the way you want."

He left her office feeling like she had kicked him in the gut. A part of him always believed if he ever made a move on her she'd be there with open arms...loving arms...to bring him in out of the cold. But it looked like his baby girl had decided to leaving him standing outside of her world...freezing to death without her warmth.

*********

Derek decided to go see this Kevin Lynch guy for himself. He hadn't paid much attention to him before, when he filled in for Penelope, but now that Derek knew that she had developed an interest in Kevin he wanted to have a chat with him.

Profile him. Really find out what makes this guy tick. And why Penelope would throw away years of building toward a relationship with Derek to have a date with this other man.

It didn't make sense to Derek. How could she not feel the intense pull toward him when they flirted? Was he the only one who felt the heat? Didn't he do all he could to show her his love when she was injured? He stayed by her side, taking time off work for weeks, to be with her. He would have done anything she asked of him and he still would.

He even worked up the nerve to tell her he loved her. Something he never did for any other woman.

But to her this meant nothing, all of a sudden. When it was happening Derek could have sworn it meant everything to her. Just like it did for him.

"Do you have a minute?" Derek asked him.

The other man stood up. He looked like he just rolled out of bed and had on the same clothes for a week. "You're Agent Morgan, right?"

"Right."

"I guess you're here about Penelope. She's awesome, isn't she? Completely amazing skills-"

"She's more than a hacker."

"Sure. Of course she is. But her skills our out of this world. That's nothing to brush off. Probably less than 20 people on the planet can do what she does. I can't."

"Yeah, well, Garcia is integral to our team. I know better than anyone how talented she is. What I want to know is why you want to date her all of the sudden?"

"Its just a drink after work. She's....impressive. I'm smitten. Surely its not so hard to understand."

Derek stared him down. "Treat her right or I'll be back."

He walked out, feeling like he had wasted his time. Lynch liked Penelope cause she was hot and talented. Both true and good reasons to be attracted to her but those two things were just a small fraction of what made Derek love her.

How could his love mean nothing to her? He'd never been hurt worse by a woman. He wanted to make sense out of this but it wasn't a case with clues he could follow.

Derek guessed it was possible that Penelope had lied about loving him but he hated to believe that. If she loved him then how could she not love him now?

***********

"What's your problem today?" Emily snapped at him after he spent the whole day, out on a case, acting tense and pissed off.

"This unsub is killing teenagers. Should I be in a good mood over that?"

"Something is up with you and you're taking it out on the team."

He knew she was right. But it wasn't like he wanted to pour his heart out to her standing there in the middle of a small town police station. Talking about his feelings for Penelope was hard enough to do with Penelope herself, in a serious way and not making it all seem lighthearted. He certainly wasn't about to open a vein for Emily.

Derek told her "I don't know what you're talking about."

His cell rang. He looked at the screen and saw it was Penelope. Letting out a short breath he faked a smile as he answered. Usually she truly did make him smile a more real smile than anyone else ever could but not today.

"What you got for me, baby girl?"

"So much more than you could ever handle, handsome."

She just didn't know how true that statement was. It took him a long time to admit, in the quiet of his own head, that he loved her and even longer to say it aloud. Now it was more than he could handle to feel this much and have her act like nothing had changed.

Telling her he loved her was something he would never regret but feeling like he did now made him wonder how he had been so wrong. He always thought loving her was his path to getting everything he ever wanted.

Not the road to becoming a broken man.