Complicated
By: Odainath
Author's notes: I was sent a challenge with the following stipulations:
Harry/Ros pairing
One-shot (though if it could turn into a chapter fic, that's okay too.)
And that's about all the guidelines I got really. Now, this was really weird for me to write, so please review and give some constructive criticism as I am incredibly unsure about this one. I mean, it's Ros and Harry...
Disclaimer: I do not own Spooks; it is the property of Kudos and the BBC
Ros didn't know who or what to blame; herself, him, alcohol, the job... perhaps all of the above. She'd woken up only minutes earlier, her eyes falling instantly on the empty bottle of wine and two glasses whilst she also registered that she was wrapped in a pair of strong arms. She'd slowly disentangled herself and made her way to the bathroom where she'd run the tap and stared at herself in the mirror. Hair unkempt, eyes tired, a pink mark on her neck, bruised lips. There was no denying what had happened the previous night and she leant heavily against the bench and closed her eyes.
"Ros..."
She looked up and saw his reflection in the glass. He was hovering at the door, looking the most unsure she had ever seen him and she attempted a smile.
"Harry," she returned softly.
"I..." he began uncertainly. "I should go home; get changed."
Ros nodded. "Yes, perhaps that would be best."
He opened his mouth but closed it again almost immediately.
"Bye, Harry," said Ros softly, sensing his discomfort. "I'll see you at the Grid."
Harry turned and Ros watched as he grabbed his coat from the back of the sofa and left her apartment quickly. Now alone, she splashed water on her face, trying to dispel lingering tiredness. Marginally more awake, she turned and let the shirt she'd been wearing fall to the ground as she turned on the tap for the shower and stepped inside. The water was cold and she looked upward, letting it wash over her face. She finally turned away and leant her forehead against the wall and closed her eyes again as a long line of reprimands ran through her mind.
Shit...
xXXXx
They worked as well together as ever; but there was a definite shift in their interaction. Ros found herself tensing any time Harry unconsciously placed his hand on the small of her back where before she had scarcely realised. She caught Lucas looking at them both, his blue eyes surveying them critically and immediately left Harry's office in favour of the ladies bathroom where she echoed her position that morning. Eyes down, hands pressed flat against the bench. She didn't hear Jo come inside and flinched when the younger woman called her name.
"Sorry," Jo said, startled at Ros's reaction. "It's just... you're needed in the conference room."
Ros nodded as she pushed herself away from the bench. "Yes, of course, Jo," she said, aware that she was rambling. "I..."
She turned and hurried to the conference room without finishing her sentence, leaving a puzzled Jo to follow. Harry was at the head of the table and she sat down to his right, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. Harry pointed the remote at the screen and began speaking and Ros was forced to make a conscious effort to listen.
"We're going to focus our attention..."
"Ros, are you sure you're all right?"
"...on preventing an attack..."
"Yes, Harry. There's no need to worry about me."
"...though we are unsure what form it will take..."
"Only if you're sure."
"... to that end we will have to gather more intelligence..."
"I am, Harry."
"...and Ros..."
"Ros..."
"...will lead the operation from..."
A hand cupped the side of her face in a gesture that would have been paternal were it not for the jolt of heat that burnt between them. She leant into his touch, barely noticing that she had reached forward and placed both her palms flat against his chest.
"...here, whilst Lucas will remain on the ground..."
One of his hands snaked around her back and pulled her close whilst the other pushed her hair away from her face. He leant forward, their lips brushing together. The kiss was gentle at first – perhaps as they both realised their relationship would be irrevocably changed if they continued – but quickly deepened.
"... to keep an eye on things..."
She pushed his jacket over his shoulders as he drew her closer toward him. Her arms wrapped around his neck as they made their way to the bedroom and onto the bed.
"...so, Ros, what have we learned?"
She was jolted from her memories and she blinked rapidly.
"Ros?" Harry asked.
"Sorry," she said briskly. "We don't have much to go on..."
Oh, shit...
xXXXx
"Ros, if you would."
She slowly rose to her feet and walked into his office, closing the door behind her gently. It was well past five o'clock and everyone had left for the day; everyone except herself and Harry that was. Ros sat down at a gesture from Harry and crossed her legs whilst she rested her arms loosely against the armrests.
"What was it you wanted, Harry?" she asked, making sure her voice stayed as cool as ever.
He leant back in his chair. "Look, Ros," he said after a pause. "About last night... I'm sorry..."
"There's no need to apologise," she interrupted. "It's forgotten."
Harry nodded, his eyes piercing.
"Was that all?" Ros asked.
A silence that seemed to stretch for eons settled between them which he finally broke. "Yes."
"Bye, Harry."
"Bye, Ros."
xXXXx
One month later.
"Good work, everyone," Harry praised, looking around the room.
There were murmurs about the table as everyone rose to their feet and gathered their belongings, preparing to leave for the day. Ros grabbed the files in front of her and was nearly at the door when Harry called.
"Ros, a word."
She paused and closed her eyes for a brief moment. Ros made her way to Harry's office and waited for him as he talked to Lucas. Ten minutes later he entered and closed the door behind them both.
"You wanted to see me, Harry?" she asked, trying to sound normal.
Harry nodded as he crossed the room and leant against his desk. "Look, Ros..." he said carefully. "I know there's been discomfort between us since..."
"I said it was forgotten, Harry," she interrupted. "And I meant it, so if there's nothing further..."
She got up hurriedly and made for the door. Harry followed her quickly and moved around so he was in front of her. They performed a dance as she tried to push past him and he stopped her at every turn. She finally gave up and looked determinedly at the ground. Harry sighed and she felt a soft hand reach under her chin to make her look upward.
"Ros," he said firmly. "This is not something that can simply be buried."
"And why is that, Harry?" she snapped. "It's better for both of us."
She pushed past him again but he grabbed her wrist tightly. She tried to throw off his hand but he only gripped tighter and when she raised her other hand to push him away, he grabbed that wrist and pulled both her arms down by her sides so she couldn't move away.
"Ros," he began again. "We've been walking on eggshells..."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't patronise me, Harry."
"I'm not," he said, pulling her as she tried to move away again.
Ros looked down again and flinched as he let go of one of her hands so he could place it on her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Ros," he said softly.
She shook her head and looked up. "Not your fault, Harry," she said, attempting to give a half-smile. "It takes two to tango."
He returned her half-smile, though she could tell easily that he wanted to say more. "Yes," he said finally. "Yes, I suppose it does."
Harry let her go and she took a small step back so she could turn and walked out of his office, leaving him alone. As she walked, she couldn't stop the reprimands she has become so accustomed to this past month from running through her mind.
You should never have offered him wine; never have let him in at such a later hour; never, never, never...
xXXXx
Three weeks later.
Ros's hands shook as she poured herself a glass of wine and sat down on the sofa. She rested the glass on the coffee table and leant forward, holding her head in her hands. The operation had been particularly difficult and she'd found herself, once again, with a gun to her head. This time however, when she'd knocked it from the man's hand, a bullet was fired hitting a civilian in the chest.
The woman's state was critical.
She sighed and closed her eyes; trying to dispel the images running through her mind; herself knocking the assailant out with a well-placed punch to the jaw, herself using her jacket to try and stem bleeding, herself yelling for someone, anyone, to call an ambulance. Ros was jolted from her memories by a loud knock at her door and she rose wearily to her feet and crossed the living room. She opened the door to find Harry leaning against the doorframe.
He gave her the beginnings of a small smile which vanished when he took in her full appearance.
"Ros," he said, following her as she walked inside. "For god's sake, have a shower."
She shrugged as she sat back down on the sofa. She conceded that she must look a sight, with the woman's blood soaking into the white material of her shirt whilst more blood had caked on her skin and in her hair.
"Go on, Ros," Harry said gently, sitting across from her.
She nodded and rose to her feet. "Okay."
He smiled faintly as she walked past him and Ros entered the bathroom and stripped quickly. Blood was all over her and she stepped into the shower, breathing a sigh of relief as the blood was washed away, mingling with the water which disappeared down the drain.
Thank you...
xXXXx
Ros emerged from the shower fifteen minutes later, feeling reasonably more refreshed though she could still hear the woman's screams echoing faintly in her mind. Harry was sitting on an armchair, looking out at the view of the city. Ros dropped onto the sofa and reached for her wine but changed her mind and leant back.
"So, Harry?" she said, curling her legs beneath herself. "Why are you here?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Because I know your propensity for self-flagellation, Ros," he answered.
She gave a short laugh. "The operation went wrong, Harry," she said flatly. "I was in charge of it; now a civilian is severely wounded and there is every chance she could die..."
"And it was not your fault," Harry interrupted. "You struggled with him and the gun went off; that is not your fault, it's his."
Ros sighed. "Whatever you say, Harry."
Harry fixed her with an impenetrable gaze and if she had been a less brave woman, Ros would have quailed beneath it; as it was, she stared back, her cool features not giving anything away.
"Ros," he said, speaking slowly and carefully.
She waited for him to continue and was surprised when he rose to his feet and rounded the coffee table; he sat on the far end of the sofa, watching her carefully.
"Ros," he began again. "Please remember that if you hadn't been there the bomb would have exploded; if the bomb had exploded, dozens people would have been killed and many others injured. As it stands, only one shot was fired and yes, it hit a civilian, but she has every chance of survival."
"The operative word there is 'chance', Harry," Ros interrupted.
"Her condition was stable when I last checked, Ros," Harry said sharply. "But think, Ros; think of what you accomplished today."
She sighed as she draped her arm along the back of the sofa. "I know, Harry," she said softly.
"Can you remember that, then?" he said, rising to his feet.
Ros echoed his movements as he moved to the door. Harry reached out for the handle and Ros had to smile as he shook the handle, genuinely surprised when it didn't open.
"Harry," she said, moving forward and touching his forearm. "Let me."
She grabbed the key from the small table and Harry gave a small laugh.
"Ah," he said as she reached past him and inserted the key into the luck. "I see the problem."
Ros gave a small laugh as she leant back, giving him room to move past. Harry placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Now, are you sure you're going to be all right?" he asked softly.
They both froze, and Ros knew that he was thinking the same as she; their first kiss had taken place here after a conversation which was uncannily similar.
"Yes," Ros managed finally. "I'll be..."
She didn't finish her sentence as Harry's hand dropped to her waist. She allowed herself to be pulled close and where their first kiss had been tentative, this was immediately insistent and Ros's lips parted instantly as Harry's other hand reached around her back. She reached up and loosened his tie, making quick work of the knot and the blue silk fell to the ground, not that either of them noticed. She became acutely aware that his hands were skimming down her sides, finally resting at the edge of the singlet she had thrown on after her shower. He reached under the thin material and her breath hitched as cold fingers made contact with warm skin. She quickly unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it over his shoulders as they moved to the bedroom.
More clothes were discarded as they fell on the bed and her breath hitched as his lips left hers and moved to her neck.
"Harry..."
xXXXx
Ros awoke to someone shaking her shoulder and rolled onto the side to face them.
"Morning," she said, unsure of exactly what to say.
Harry gave her a smile. "Morning."
They were both silent and Ros found herself wishing that she'd simply opened the door last night. A soft cough interrupted her thoughts.
"Ros, this shouldn't have happened."
She raised an eyebrow. "And yet it did, Harry. Twice," she added as an afterthought.
He sighed. "Ros, look at you. I'm twice your age..."
She rolled her eyes. "Harry," she said firmly. "Spare me that speech. If you want to pretend this didn't happen, then fine."
Ros kept the sheet held up to her neck as she swung her legs over the bed and dragged them with her as she got to her feet. She knew it was ridiculous – he'd seen her naked only hours ago – but there was something about daylight that made it wrong in her mind.
"Ros," she heard from behind her. "We can't leave it like this."
She turned and tilted her head a fraction to the left. "What's 'this'?" Harry she asked. "You explain that to me and we'll talk further."
She turned neatly on her heel and headed for the shower, leaving Harry to figure out his own thoughts.
xXXXx
When she emerged from her shower; dressed for work, she found herself disappointed when she saw no sign of Harry. A noise from the kitchen made her start and she approached cautiously to find Harry making coffee and toast.
"You didn't have to do that," she said, leaning against the bench.
He pushed a plate of toast towards her followed by a mug of steaming black coffee.
"Ros," he said, looking at her intently. "I don't know what to do here. I just don't know."
She nodded thoughtfully. "Don't do anything, Harry," she said softly. "It would never work; you and I both know that."
"We tried that, remember, Ros?" said Harry. "Not doing anything and look what happened."
Ros took a sip of coffee. "Yes," she agreed. "Maybe it needed to; it's put things in the right perspective. We know it can't work, it never could. I think we just needed affirmation."
Harry said nothing and Ros knew that he agreed.
"Go home, Harry," she said softly. "Have a shower, get changed etcetera. I'll see you at the Grid."
He nodded and walked from the kitchen to the living room. He grabbed his coat and left quickly. Ros, now alone, sipped her coffee quietly.
It would never work.
Author's notes: So, not happy in the slightest. I just can't see how a Harry/Ros pairing would work. I did at first, but then I changed my mind so this is what happened.
Please review as I am really unsure about this one.
Odainath