A look in the sickly mind of Princess Azula. Enjoy!
A fourteen year old girl is supposed to be a child. She's supposed to have an obnoxious older brother who pranks her constantly but loves her anyways; she needs two parents who wish to protect her. A fourteen year old girl is supposed to experience the heart beat fluttering of a first crush, the blossoming of romance. She's supposed to feel the first-but not last- of heart breaks. A fourteen year old girl is supposed to have friends: fellow girls to stay late up into the night with, giggling about boys and their prettily dreamt up futures. She's supposed to spend evenings with her friends at bonfire parties, attending parties where she is underage; she is supposed to live like it was her last day on earth.
Azula uses her bending to burn the doll to a crisp, the doll her Uncle sends her while he is away at war. She wishes he'd die in battle so her father could be crowned ruler. Her wish comes true- sort of. She rolls her eyes as Zuko defends their Uncle for grieving over his son. Azula doesn't see what they do in the passing of cousin Lu Ten. She can hear her mother mutter,
"What is wrong with that child?"
Azula is told to go away, but she doesn't. She always hides behind the shadows- listening, calculating. She sneaks in the dark of the night to Zuko's bedroom to tell him what she overhears. She finds it soothing to rip the hope from her brother's little hands. If he had Mother, then she could have Dad to herself. It was only fair. She prances up to his bed posts and twirls on a pillar.
"Dad's going to kill you", she singsongs.
"Dad would never do that to me!" He cries angrily.
Mother walks in and the conversation is over. The next evening, a hooded figure slinks through the palace. Azula hears the echoes of her mother's footsteps pass by her bedroom and into Zuko's. She hears the words of loving goodbyes. She listens for the footsteps to come closer, into her room. But they just keep going until the sound is gone. By sunrise, Azula is motherless.
She is eight years old.
Azula watches her brother Zuko fail miserably at everything he tries to accomplish. While she succeeds as the family prodigy, she watches with glee as her father abuses Zuko. She can feel the heat emanating from the bleachers as the fire consumes his face. His scream of agony fills her to the brim with delicious satisfaction.
She is eleven years old.
"I challenge you. Agni Kai!"Zuko shouts.
"Hmm, no thanks." Azula replies, glancing at her pathetic brother. One shove and he'll fall out of that gaping hole in the building, and he'll sleep forever. Just. Like. Mother.
Azula pities her brother's defiance. She believes he is traitor, a fugitive of their nation. Like Uncle, he's forgotten what it means to have power and respect; they give it away for a life on the run. Not her.
Princess Azula is feared, reputed, and potent. She's cruel and manipulative. She will crack down on anyone who has the nerve to stand in her path: King Kuei, Long Feng, the Kyoshi Warriors, Uncle Iroh, and Team Avatar to start with. Make them fear you so much that the sound of your name gives them chills. That's how she learned to get what she wanted. Azula, Zuko, and her conspirators fight. Azula is a calculating killer. One quick burst of lighting from her fingertips and the Avatar is dead.
Ba Sing Se has fallen.
She is fourteen years old.
What she never accounts for is her brother surviving. Riding the gondola up the mountain, he and his barbaric troop surely should have fallen to their deaths. She watches the ropes break; it is only a matter of time before the gondola plunges down the mountain side, into the boiling lake beneath it.
But Mai.
"Why?"Azula demands.
Mai's face is cold, stoic. "Looks like you miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you."
Azula is ready to slaughter this backstabber. With a few punches into Azula's pressure points, Ty Lee saves Mai's life.
Unbelievable, unfathomable rage sweeps through her as well as searing pain. Azula's golden eyes shoot one last glare at the two girls before her body gives out and she falls to the ground. As her soldiers lift her limp figure up, she cocks her head to the treacherous cronies.
Azula throws them away to rot in prison. Turns out, she doesn't need friends. She dismisses the Dai Lee; her army of ultra-elite warriors is not to be trusted. Her bending teachers, Lady Li and Lo are banished. Everyone is out to get her. On the eve of her coronation, she is most vulnerable. She will not allow herself to be brought down.
Azula accuses, "Even you fear me!"
The phantom in the mirror speaks so forgivingly, "I will always love you, Azula."
The princess lets a single, angry tear stream down her cheek before she picks up a hair brush off of the vanity and heaves it at the figure. The glass shatters and the princess is alone again.
She kneels down on one knee before the sage. He speaks fearfully, but as he lowers the crown on her head, he cuts off into an irritating silence.
Azula glares at her brother and his little Water Tribe whore. She can't help but laugh when he claims the right to the throne. A skinny, scarred, and broken boy doesn't deserve the throne. A cunning, mighty princess does. And she wants to show him just how she earned the title of "Fire Lord".
"Agni Kai!" She exclaims tauntingly, "It's you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be!"
He glares murderously.
She smirks. "I'm sorry it had to end like this, Zu-zu."
"No you're not."
The kind of insane vigor that comes with the comet only fuels her descent to rock bottom. She loses all cognitive ability in that Agni Kai. Azula watches with sheer pleasure as the lightning intended for the water bender is absorbed by her brother. The violent blue light consumes him, leaving his body to tumble onto the ground, twitching. Azula is terrified and exhilarated at the same time. I've killed my brother, she thinks.
Her vision is cloudy with euphoria. She can barely see the water bender. Then a flash of blue strikes the pillar where the water bender is hiding. The little mouse won't get away this time. She blindly fires her element everywhere, running after the girl. She grows tired quickly; she can't stay on her feet much longer. Then…
Azula is defeated. Her hands are chained to the metal, locked under her legs. She sees the water bender lean over her brother's body. Suddenly, both of them are standing up, looking at her in pity. Zuko is alive. He will be ruler. Everything she worked for is ruined, but Azula will not be pitied. She feels the rage consume her whole. She allows the tears to flow from her eyes and down her face. Her mouth is wide open as she screams and sobs loud enough for the entire palace to hear. She breathes her signature blue fire and rolls around on the ground until a familiar darkness passes over her.
Princess Azula cannot move in her bindings. She lies on the padded floor, speechless. She is stoic and quiet. Her mind is blank. A door opens and a robed figure walks in. She recognizes that face. There was a crown perched on his head. A familiar scar identifies him.
"Zu-zu." She whispers.
"Shhh." He mutters as he undoes her bindings. "I need you in the court today."
As soon as her arms are free, she lifts a finger and the violent shock of blue shoots out. She feels herself shaking and screaming as the electricity courses through her veins, but she does not let up. This is how it will end. The way she wants.
She's engulfed in darkness. A hooded figure appears from nowhere and Azula can hear the faint sound of turtle-ducks quacking. Her mother's soft smile appears and a pale hand is outstretched.
"I will always love you, Azula." Ursa coos.
This time, Azula knows she means it. She reaches out to take her hand. Finally.
But Azula does not reunite with her mother. She lies in a dark trance for months. An angry red scar paints her shoulder where she electrocuted herself. Maids, healers, and the royal family watch over her. She isn't aware of the immense guilt they all feel. She isn't aware that she's still very much needed in the world.
A small, tanned hand touches her gaunt face. There is a twitch in one of her eyelids and everyone gathers around her bed. Sighs of relief erupt in the room when she opens her eyes.
Azula sees the child staring at her. She has tanned skin, black hair and the biggest golden eyes she's ever seen. She isn't ready to hear these words:
"She's your niece."The Fire Lord whispers. Him and the water bender are holding hands.
The child smiles at her aunt and even though Azula is exhausted, the woman knows that her time with her mother has ended. Right now, though, she realizes that her time with her new family is only beginning.