No one really lays claim to ownership of The Bill these days, including me.

Neil was almost certain Millie was still up. There was a light on in her sitting room, and once or twice he thought he had caught a glimpse of a silhouette moving across the big front room window. But why would she be up at this hour? When he had decided to drive by on his way home from an evening out on the off chance she was still awake, he had really expected to find her house in darkness. He knew that as the mother of young baby, Millie generally hit the hay not long after Andrew went to bed. She had quickly learnt that it was wise to grab sleep while she could.

Neil checked his watch and saw it was now well after eleven. He couldn't bring himself to just drive away. The more he pondered the question of why she was up, the more he convinced himself that something was wrong. Maybe Andrew was sick and Millie was in need of help? Perhaps having the input of an experienced parent like his good self would be of some comfort to her? He reached out to open the car door, then stopped. A knock on the door at this hour might scare her. Best to call her first. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through to her number, then snapped the phone shut. What if the ringing phone disturbed Andrew, possibly just after his mother had got him off to sleep after many hours of trying? He wanted to help Millie, not make her angry.

He made a fist and punched the padding of his steering wheel in frustration. He had really wanted to talk to Millie tonight. For the first time in god knows how long he had been on a date, and he wanted to share this news with someone. Millie was probably the closest person to him, but she was a mother now and could no longer be at his beck and call. He knew that his imagining some sinister reason for her being up was in reality him manufacturing excuses to go in and talk to her. Millie most likely had no need of him. He was sure she could cope with whatever was happening. If she needed help, she'd have the sense to seek it for herself.

He put the key in the ignition and started the car. He'd been hanging around in his car deliberating for so long now, he'd be surprised if a neighbour hadn't seen him and thought he was some sort of stalker. All he needed now was for a car-load of Sun Hill's finest to turn up and find him loitering outside Millie's house. He knew too well what they would make of that.

Neil took a final glance up a the sitting room window before driving off, and was very glad he did. There was Millie, tapping the window and beckoning him to come in. Soon he was treading the path to her door. It was only when he started walking that he realised he had no idea what he was actually going to say to her. He had things to talk about, but how much was he really prepared to reveal? And would Millie be okay with what he had to tell her? He was sure they were both happy with their relationship the way it was, but does any woman really enjoy hearing a man extol the virtues of another member of her sex?

It was too late to turn back now. Millie was standing at the open door by the time Neil reached her front step.

Millie came to the door in her dressing gown and slippers. Her hair was spilling out of a loose bun, and from what Neil could see from the porch light, her face was relatively make up free. Considering she very definitely had not been expecting company, he thought, the smile she gave him was surprisingly welcoming.

"Neil, come in," she said in a hushed voice. "I knew it was your car I heard starting up! What brings you here this time of night?"

"I, um, was just driving by and I noticed the light. Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. I'm trying something new with Andrew in the hope of phasing out the 2am feed."

"Ah, now that brings back memories! You're giving him a top up feed so he won't get hungry and will sleep through, right?"

"That's the theory. Make yourself at home while I go get him from his cot."

Millie went down the darkened passageway to Andrew's room, while Neil walked through the sitting room and into the kitchen. He had visited Millie's new townhouse often enough to know where everything was kept. He looked in her refrigerator and smiled to himself at some of its contents. There were items there he had got very used to seeing in his own fridge while Millie had been living with him. Amongst the bottles of expressed milk he spotted the brand of yoghurt that she liked, plus one or two of her favourite treats. He felt it was a safe bet that hidden somewhere in the freezer there would be the mint chocolate chip ice cream she kept for those moments of special indulgence.

Seeing these things prompted him to think how much he actually missed having her around all the time. Even now, three months after Andrew's birth and Millie's brief relocation to her parents' place before her townhouse was ready, Neil still found himself arriving home expecting to see Millie sitting on his sofa. He even occasionally came across oddments that never would have made their way into his house if it hadn't been for Millie. That hair straighter he found in what had been her bathroom, for instance. Not the type of thing either he or Jake had any use for. The way she'd left her mark on his house by leaving things lying around it somehow endeared her to him.

These happy thoughts were soon ended by the sound of Millie's footsteps returning from the bedroom. He poured a couple of glasses of orange juice and made his way back to meet Millie in the sitting room.

Millie sat herself down in the chair she found most comfortable for breastfeeding. She looked down at her sleeping baby, who was wriggling ever so slightly, content even in his sleep at the sensation of being nestled safely in his mother's arms. Neil gave Andrew's head a pat and then quickly searched for something on the other side of the room to focus on as Millie loosened the front of her robe and then undid her top and maternity bra to allow Andrew access to her breast. Still half asleep, Andrew latched on and started to suck heartily.

Millie's eyes moved back and forth between watching her son feed and observing Neil's reaction to it. Neil's discomfort at seeing her breastfeed amused her no end. It had come as a complete surprise to her, and indeed, to Neil himself. When Andrew had been born, Millie had asked Neil what his views were on her breastfeeding her son in front of Jake. After a few moments deliberation, Neil voiced his view that it was a natural process and he had no problem with it, but he supposed they should gauge Jake's reaction before making any hard and fast ruling on the matter. So they had done just that. One time when the three of them were sitting together, Millie undid her top and started feeding her son. Jake hadn't batted an eyelid. He didn't watch the process with an inappropriate level of interest, nor did he behave uncomfortably interacting with Millie while she was feeding. Neil and Millie agreed that experiment was a success and Millie felt reassured that feeding her child was not going to be an issue when the Mansons visited.

Even though Millie had considered that Jake might not be comfortable with her feeding, it never occurred to her that Neil himself could be awkward with it. During Jake's introduction to breastfeeding, Neil had placed all his attention on his son, and hadn't paid any heed to Millie or what she was doing. But once Neil was seated opposite a breastfeeding Millie without Jake as a distraction he was noticeably uncomfortable. His reaction perplexed and annoyed him. Dash it all, he'd seen many mothers suckling babies before, but for some reason when Millie did it, it was different. It was as if when their relationship had settled comfortably into the realm of platonic, Neil had constructed an arbitrary barrier between what behaviours were acceptable in their friendship and what weren't. And exposure of body parts was one of the behaviours that crossed over that line. He had been barred from the birthing suite when Andrew was born for that reason. Whatever the cause of his unease, Neil simply couldn't bring himself to even inadvertently glance at that region of Millie's body without feeling the colour rise in his cheeks. The worst part about it was that his awkwardness was apparent to everyone. Millie saw it and felt sorry for him, but the overabundance of milk she was producing made foregoing feeding her son when it was necessary just to protect Neil's modesty nearly impossible. So, she simply fed him as she saw fit.

So once again Neil sat opposite Millie and her babe, desperately searching the room for something he could rest his gaze on. As much as Millie loved Neil and was interested in what he had to say, she only wanted to spare him as much of her time as it took to feed Andrew that evening. Staying up talking to Neil would defeat the purpose of her trying to get Andrew to sleep through.

"So, why are you out at this time of night? Working late?" Millie asked by way of a conversation opener.

Neil nodded. "The day did finish late, yes."

"But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" probed Millie. "So, tell me, what's else has kept you out so late?"

Neil was by nature a man of few words, so rather than pour out his heart and fill Millie in on every detail, he cut to the chase. "Grace," he said simply.

"Grace?" said Millie, her eyebrows hovering midway up her forehead for quite some time. "I see…Well, I can't say I'm surprised. So what happened? Did you ask her out then?"

Neil's eyes made their way to the floor in front of him. "Yes," he replied.

Millie knew Neil well enough to realise that if she wanted the blanks of Neil's conversation filled, she'd largely have to do it herself. "Emotional case, was it? She in need of a little comfort?"

"Murdered child," responded Neil.

"Oh," Millie's eyes brimmed with tears, the way they always seemed to do these days at the idea of anything happening to children.

"I found it all a bit too close to home, after Jake and everything," admitted Neil.

"Of course you did. So Grace was comforting you then?"

"Not as such. More having a go at me for not having let her comfort me while Jake was sick, actually."

Millie knew Neil's not confiding in Grace was largely down to his relationship with her. Especially during the time of Jake's recovery, she and Neil had spent most of their spare time supporting each other through their respective crises. Well, Millie's pregnancy wasn't so much a crisis, but having Neil around had certainly helped her get through it.

"Well, I can understand her feeling left out. After all, she's always liked you."

Neil looked up without thinking - only to catch Millie in the act of shifting Andrew from one of her breasts to the other, thus allowing him a full view of both breasts. That, and the idea that Millie thought Grace had always liked him made him blush bright scarlet.

"Really?" he said stupidly.

"Oh yes, and you've always liked her too, haven't you?" said Millie playfully. She was grinning ear to ear at the knowledge that she wasn't the only person who could blush so spectacularly.

"I've always admired her intelligence, yes," he conceded bashfully, before allowing himself a small chuckle in response to Millie's teasing. "But actually, I don't recall you and her ever being in the same room while I've been there. How do you know what she and I think of each other?"

"Well, I have seen the two of you together in passing, and apart from that, from what Max tells me, she's a bit of a pet with you."

Millie regretted those words as soon as she spoke them. Damn, thought Millie, why did I mention Max?

Millie's self-chastisement was justified, because as soon as Millie quoted Max, Neil bristled up.

"So that's what Max thinks, eh? Well, perhaps if his attitude was a little more like Grace's…"

"Okay, sorry Neil. Forget I said that. I don't really put much trust in what Max says. We all know he can be a bit of a bitch sometimes."

Neil was cheered considerably that Millie had selected a very female derogatory term to describe Max.

"Don't worry. I know Max well enough to guess his motivations, and I know you well enough to know you were being facetious. Now, I see Andrew's ready for bed again."

During the last part of their discussion, Andrew's little mouth had released Millie's nipple as his desire for food had been sated and his desire for sleep had come once again to the fore. Much to Neil's relief, Millie was now completely covered and he had no reason to avert his eyes.

"Yes, he is," whispered Millie, as she stroked her son's cheek gently with her finger. "I'd best take him to his cot now."

"And get to bed yourself, too, I should think," said Neil, rising to assist Millie in getting out of her chair while cradling her son.

"Thanks Neil, yes, I suppose I should. I presume you're working tomorrow?"

"I am indeed."

"So it's bedtime for you as well. That is, if you're able to sleep after all the excitement. You may want to go home, grab a hair brush and belt out a few love songs."

"Very funny, You. Look, I'll talk to you on the weekend, okay? Jake's returning tomorrow night, so perhaps we'll drop by on Saturday."

"That'd be lovely. I'll try to make sure Max isn't around then…"

"Don't rearrange things on our account," said Neil. He leant forward and kissed Millie on the cheek. "Now, take your son to bed. I'll see myself out. Good night Millie."

"Night Neil," Millie said, as she carried Andrew to his room. She placed him in his cot and tiptoed out, crossing her fingers he wouldn't wake now until six.

Millie walked to the front door to put the chain on it. She moved the curtain and watched as Neil's car pulled away from the kerb. So, Neil was seeing Grace! Good on him! She was so very happy for him.

At least she told herself she was…