A/N: This takes place before season 5. It's basically starts off where season 4 ended. Anyways, Enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: House doesn't belong to me.

Denial (1/2)

i.

The first time you visit him in the hospital is in the middle of the night when you are on a break from your shift. He is sleeping. There are no electric blue eyes looking at you mockingly and you are thankful for that. You don't want him to know that you visited him anyways. You take a seat next to his bed making sure not to wake him up. It's not surprising to find that even in his sleep his face is annoyed like he is at odds with the world. He looks broken to you and that hurts. You can't see him like this because this is House who is strong, mean, sarcastic but never helpless. Even though bullets aren't enough to hurt him, you think this thing with Wilson might just kill him.

You can't stand the silence, so you get up and leave without a second glance.

ii.

The second time you visit him is at midnight while you are on break and once again he is asleep which gives you a sudden sense of relief. You take a seat on the abandoned chair next to the bed and stare at the sleeping figure. You wonder if you are a coward for coming to visit him in the middle of the night when he is asleep, just so you don't have to face him. You are a hypocrite because you say that you have nothing to do with him but at the dead of the night when you are feeling worn and tired he is still the center of your world. He has you trapped and you have no way of getting out.

But looking at him now, you think maybe just this once you don't mind being trapped. You think you see a certain type of frailty in him now that you have never seen before. You dismiss that thought as soon as it enters your mind because House is anything but frail. But there is an image that keeps nagging you at the back of your head. It's of your mother, a couple of days before she died. She had looked so pale and sickly, and that's exactly what House looks like right now. You feel something rising up in your chest, something akin to panic and you just want to feel that he is alive. That he is there and not going to leave you.

Your head is hurting and your heart is pounding because what you are about to do next would be considered stupid by many but in a moment of insanity you hold his hand very lightly in your own trembling one. His hand is warm and something akin to relief washes over your whole body. You feel like you can breathe again.

You let go of his hand and make your way out of the silent room. The warmth of his hand lingers on you and you can't help but miss it.

You leave without looking back and are wholly unaware of a pair of blue eyes watching you intently.

iii.

This was getting ridiculous, you thought to yourself. This was the third time in one week that you had come to visit House during your night shift, just so you wouldn't have to see him when he was awake. You wandered when you had started running away from House. In beginning you had always been the first one defend him even when his actions were completely ludicrous but now just being around him made you weary and exhausted.

Maybe you weren't running from him at all. Maybe what you were running from was the feelings that he stirred within you and that scared you more than anything. Feeling anything for House was dangerous and was bound to lead to you getting hurt. You had realized this the moment he told you guys that he lied about having cancer. When you thought that he was going die, it had felt like a slap to your face and there was a pain in your chest that refused to go away. You had cried, you had fucking cried for him. Even when your father had died you hadn't shed a single tear. You had felt numb, you had jeopardized a patient's life but you hadn't cried.

You don't know what you would have done if House did have cancer because no matter how much you hated to admit it House did mean a lot to you, regardless of what people thought.

"You bastard, I'm actually starting to miss you terrorizing everyone." You said breaking the silence, careful to keep your voice low so that House wouldn't wake up. A bitter laugh escaped your lips because really you never thought you would actually miss the bastard who loved making your life a living hell.

Someone cleared their throat in the room and you abruptly looked up to meet the eyes of none other than the dean of medicine, Dr. Cuddy. She stood in the doorway looking at you questioningly as if asking what you were doing here in the middle of the night. You could have asked her the same question but you already knew the answer. You quickly got off the chair and made your way towards the door.

"I was never here." You said softly to her hoping she wouldn't tell House about your midnight visit.

"Why are you running away from him?" Her question caught you off guard. Your eyes met hers and you carefully schooled your expression hiding any trace of emotion that might have given you away.

You left without answering the question because there was nothing you could have told her anyways.

iv.

You had seen Wilson today.

He had come to the hospital to pick up a few things and you weren't surprised to see that the usual twinkle from him eyes was diminished. You have had your fair share of deaths so feelings of hurt and loss weren't new to you. Although what did surprise you was the fact that Wilson hadn't come to visit House at all. It was almost as if he blamed Amber's death on House, which you completely disagreed with. You could see though as to why Wilson would need a break from House.

"Her death….It wasn't your fault," You don't know why you said it or maybe you do know and you just don't want to acknowledge it.

It's because Wilson wouldn't say those words to House. You know how much Wilson means to him regardless of how he might act. The only time you have ever seen him truly defenceless is around Wilson. That says a lot about their relationship which is another tangled mess of complications just like any other part of House's life. House himself is simply a complicated person and you don't think you will ever figure him out.

Some puzzles just aren't meant to be solved.

You cover House's still hand with your own and this time there is no panic, no embarrassment, which surprises you a little. You hope that you can provide some kind of comfort to the sleeping man with your words even though he hadn't heard them. You know you can never compare to Wilson and you accept that because you have never wanted to be House's Wilson anyways.

All you have ever wanted is to be his Chase.

A/N: So what do you guys think? Tell me by clicking the magic blue button XD