"–to? Yato!"
"Huh?" Yato startled out of his thoughts as a small hand waggled sharply in front of his face.
Yukine scowled and whipped his arm back to brace his hands on his hips. "Idiot god, what are you spacing out for? Hiyori's been trying to talk to you for like five minutes now!"
"Oh?" Yato blinked a few times to clear away the murky thoughts swimming behind his eyes. "Sorry, what did I miss?"
He quickly took stock of the situation. He was still strolling down the street on autopilot, and Yukine and Hiyori were watching him with small frowns as they walked beside him. Hiyori had tagged along on a routine job busting a scam ring and slicing up the ayakashi exacerbating the problem, and the three of them had been meandering around the city ever since, chatting and window shopping. They had eaten lunch at a nice little restaurant—Hiyori's treat, of course—and were enjoying the sunny warmth and gentle breeze.
Yato had thought he'd been keeping himself focused, but apparently his mind had started wandering again at some point.
"Are you alright?" There was a small crease between Hiyori's eyebrows as she peered at him. "You've seemed distracted for a few days now…"
He laughed and turned the corner abruptly, leaving Hiyori and Yukine to hurry after him. "Yup! I've just been thinking, that's all."
"About what?"
"Wait, you're thinking?" Yukine asked, a sarcastic note creeping into his voice. "Since when do you actually use your brain?"
"Yukine is always so mean!" Yato whined, even though a melancholy half-smile threatened to tug at his lips. His kid was a sarcastic little brat, and he wouldn't have it any other way. "I always use my brain! Didn't I help you with your homework last night? Hiyori said all your math was right, didn't she? You're weeelcome!"
Yukine flushed and coughed and glared at the ground. "Whatever."
"Oh, really?" Hiyori looked between them with a secretive sort of smile, but then outrage flashed across her face like lightning and she drew herself up to her full height as she turned on Yato again. "Speaking of homework, keep your hands off mine and stop ruining it!"
Yato blinked at her blankly. "Ruining?"
She rummaged in her pocket, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and smoothed out the homework. The math problems were all neatly solved in her hand, but she pointed at the words written in red at the top of the page in an unfamiliar handwriting: '+5 points for the capyper'.
"I didn't even notice until my teacher handed it back!" she wailed, flipping the page over to reveal the detailed drawing of a capyper stretching across the back. "I've never been so humiliated in all my life!"
"Oh!" Yato grinned, pleased with himself. "Shouldn't you be thanking me? I got you bonus points on your homework! I should go meet this teacher of yours. He sounds like he really appreciates the wonder of capypers!"
"He's going to think I'm a total weirdo who's obsessed with capypers even though I'm in high school," she moaned.
"Capypers are amazing!" He widened his eyes innocently and added, "This is the only one you found?"
"…What?" Hiyori's mouth dropped open. "What else have you been drawing on?"
"Oh, not much," he said lightly. "Just a few homework pages and textbooks and things."
"My textbooks?" she screeched. "Oh no! I just turned in a bunch of homework! Do they all have capypers on them? Yato? Yato!"
"How should I know?" Yato asked with practiced innocence. "I don't know which ones you turned in."
"You're horrible! We need to go back to Kofuku's place right now, and I'm going to look through all my homework and textbooks!"
He jammed his hands into his pockets and tilted his chin up to stare at the wide blue sky. "Yeah…" he said more quietly. "I think it's time to go back."
Hiyori was already rushing off, and didn't even notice when she dropped her body in her hurry.
"Good going, bakagami," Yukine grumbled.
Yato hummed absently in acknowledgement and stooped over to pick up Hiyori's snoozing body. Her body always looked so peaceful when her soul slipped out, with the gentle breathing and soft smile, and it was warm and had a comforting weight in his arms.
He tore his gaze away with a sigh. Yukine was hurrying after Hiyori, tousled blonde hair flying every which way in his rush. Yato kept his eyes fixed on his kid until he disappeared around the corner.
These two meant everything, and yet…
"Yeah," he breathed again, his gaze raking over the sky once more. "I think it's time."
He ambled after them at a slower pace. Hiyori was already tearing apart her homework and textbooks in a flurry of papers all over Kofuku's table when he trudged into the shrine and deposited her body against the wall.
"I can't believe you!" Hiyori complained, eraser in hand. "You drew all over everything! How did I not notice?"
"You aren't always very observant," he said dryly. "For example, you didn't notice that you dropped your body again."
"Forget that! What am I supposed to do about my homework? You drew this one in pen!"
"Maybe it would be better to just burn it all…" Yukine muttered.
Yato wondered if Hiyori would remember him every time she ran across another drawing on her homework or doodle in the margin of her textbook. Maybe that was selfish, but he had always wanted to be remembered. His eyes traced over the red lines peeking out from beneath Yukine's collar. He thought Yukine would remember him long after that name had faded, for better or for worse.
"Well, have fun with that," he said as he headed for the stairs. "I've got something to do. I'll be back later."
"Huh?" Yukine asked. "Where are you going? Do you need me to–?"
"Don't worry about it. I can handle this one on my own."
He left them downstairs and padded over to the tiny shrine perched on the windowsill of their room. He ran his fingers along each edge and across each surface, the wood rough beneath his fingertips. The walls were closing in around him, suffocating him and wrapping tight bands around his chest that choked the air out of his lungs. He stared out at the blue of the sky beyond the window longingly, wishing he could escape the burden of his responsibilities and run free.
Instead, he put the shrine back down and let it teleport him to Takamagahara.
The drawings were everywhere. On the backs of all her homework, partly covering some of the problems on the fronts, scribbled into the margins of her textbooks. They weren't all capypers, either. There were sketches of anything and everything, from cartoony drawings of capypers to excruciatingly detailed and realistic depictions of small birds down to every last feather. There were sketches of Hiyori and Yukine sprinkled throughout, some goofy but most rendered with the utmost care. And lots of sketches of Yato himself, which couldn't be allowed to stand. Turning in her homework like this would bring all sorts of unwanted attention. Her teachers would think she was fond of capypers or a secret art genius or, worst of all, totally obsessed with the guy whose face appeared on every other page.
Honestly, when had Yato even had time to do all this?
"I don't think I have enough eraser to get rid of it all," she said glumly.
"Uh…" Yukine scratched his head and surveyed the mess with wide eyes. "Maybe just get rid of the worst ones?"
"It would be a shame to erase some of these, I guess…" Hiyori huffed out a quiet laugh despite herself as she found a sketch of the kitten Yato had been searching for when they'd first met. "Some of these are really good. Everyone is going to think I'm a closet artist, and I'll never be able to draw anything for them."
"It would be nice if he could find work half as well as he can draw," Yukine muttered. He bent over to retrieve a crumpled ball mostly hidden between the trash can and wall. "What's this? I sure hope he's not throwing your homework away just because he doesn't like how his sketches turn out…"
New panic seized Hiyori's heart. It was bad enough that he was drawing all over her homework, but if he was throwing it away…
She rushed over as Yukine smoothed the page out. Hiyori and Yukine smiled back up at themselves, eyes and smiles bright, every detail perfectly in place. Kofuku's shrine stood behind them and… And an empty, person-shaped hole. It was obviously Yato, every line of his blank silhouette clear with his arms thrown over his friends' shoulders. But his form was just empty, like a ghost.
"…Maybe he just got tired of drawing and didn't get to himself?" Yukine asked in a small voice. His hands tightened around the page and paper crinkled.
"With how afraid he is of disappearing…" Hiyori swallowed hard, her annoyance about the homework forgotten. Yato would never deliberately erase himself, not with how scared he was of being forgotten. "I wonder if something's bothering him. He's seemed distracted and out of sorts lately…"
"He's been having nightmares too," Yukine said reluctantly, narrowing his eyes at the floor. "He talks a lot and moves around in his sleep, so it's kind of hard to miss. I didn't say anything, but…"
"He must still be stressed about his father… Where do you think he went?"
Yukine shrugged and his mouth tightened. "He hasn't been running off like this as much since he released Nora. I have no idea. I can't know if he doesn't tell me. And if something's wrong, I can't know because he won't say anything."
Yes, Yato had always been something of an enigma and was absolutely terrible at telling them what was going on until things blew up in their faces. Hiyori understood that he'd been effectively alone for centuries and was still used to doing everything on his own, but she wished he would just let them help.
She and Yukine looked over at the stairs leading up to the shrine in the room above, wondering.
Yato ran into Kazuma just outside the psycho bitch's mansion, which was a stroke of luck.
"Hey, Kazuma," he greeted as he strolled up.
Kazuma turned away from the other shinki he'd been talking to and blinked at Yato in surprise. "Yato. Can I do something for you?"
"I need to talk to Bishamon."
Kazuma's eyebrows lifted slightly, but he just nodded and ushered him inside the mansion. "Of course. She's in her office."
He led the way through the halls and knocked on a heavy wooden door. When Bishamon told him to enter, he stepped inside and Yato trailed behind him.
Bishamon's serene expression instantly morphed to shock and disgust. "What's he doing here?"
"He says that he needs to talk to you, if that's alright," Kazuma said.
She looked like she wanted to refuse, but sighed and waved a hand. "Fine."
"Alone," Yato said quietly. When Kazuma nodded and retreated, the god's gaze followed him. "Kazuma."
"Hm?" Kazuma paused in the doorway and turned back. "What is it?"
"You might think about trying to fix things with Yukine. You betrayed his trust forcing him to speak with those spells of yours, but you still care for each other. Make it up to him. You'll both feel better about it, and… He might need you soon."
Kazuma's brows drew together in a frown. "Is everything alright?"
"Fine." Yato closed his eyes and turned his back. "Just talk to him."
A pause. "I'll see what I can do."
The door clicked shut, and Yato opened his eyes to find Bishamon staring at him with a frown. He resisted the urge to sigh. This wouldn't be a fun conversation.
"What do you want?" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"I heard about Tsuguha," he said. "I'm sorry."
He wasn't sure how she would react to him after she had turned her fury on him when he gave her advice about Tsuguha, but he couldn't say he blamed her for being so upset. Sakura's transformation and death had shattered him all those centuries ago, and he didn't begrudge Bishamon her pain.
But she only pressed her eyes shut for a moment and gestured for him to sit down at the desk across from her. He crossed the floor and complied, sinking into the chair and watching her with guarded eyes.
"It seems like all of heaven has," she said wearily. "They're all watching us with suspicion."
Yato made an irritated sort of sound in the back of his throat and slouched back in the chair. "Fools. You seemed to be doing a good job containing the problem, so they needn't worry about contagion. In any case, it's not your fault."
"…What do you really want, Yato?"
"I have a business proposition." He propped his elbow on the arm of the chair and rested his cheek against his fist. His unwavering gaze never left Bishamon's face. "You want information about the sorcerer that did this. I'm willing to give it to you, in exchange for a favor. Two favors, maybe."
Surprise flickered in Bishamon's eyes. "You've been very obstinate about not talking about the sorcerer. Or any serious issue, for that matter. Why now?"
He shrugged. "I'm ready to talk now."
She shook her head slowly and her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What favors?"
"We'll get there. They follow logically from what I'm going to tell you."
"Do you really think I'll agree to a deal without knowing the price you're asking?"
"Yes." Yato's eyes were flat and cold, his gaze direct, and Bishamon pursed her lips and looked away. He knew that he held the bargaining power here. "You're desperate to avenge Tsuguha and Ebisu and protect the rest of your shinki. Relax. I'm not asking anything outrageous."
"If you tell me not to kill the sorcerer again, I won't stand for it."
A bitter smile pinched with irony twisted his lips. "That's not what I'm going to ask."
Bishamon hesitated, still wary of committing to something she didn't understand, but then sighed harshly and nodded. "Fine."
"You already figured out that the sorcerer is my father and that he's behind the fiasco with Ebisu. Yukine already told Kazuma that I'd die if he did, and Kazuma forced Yukine to tell him that he's at Hiyori's school. I'm working off the assumption that you already know all that."
"Correct. But none of that makes sense." She tapped her fingers on the desk restlessly, eyes narrowed. "Why would you have a father? How could he still be alive after all these centuries? Why would your life be bound with his? Why would he be hiding out in a school? What is he trying to accomplish? There are too many questions."
"He's human, not a god. I was born from his wish. He raised me as a kid, and has called me back periodically over the centuries to do tasks for him after I left."
"Human?" Bishamon's frown deepened. "I suppose it would be difficult for a god to control ayakashi like that—it's what made Ebisu reincarnate so frequently—but then how…?"
"He's survived through the centuries using something similar to divine possession." Yato's knuckles dug into his cheekbone, but he merely let his gaze drift to the wide blue sky outside the window instead of readjusting. "He possesses body after body and takes life after life. Right now he's in the body of a high-schooler, which is why he happens to be in high school. Here."
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped through the phots until he found the one of Father and Hiyori with the capyper. He held it out to Bishamon, who squinted at it in confusion.
"That's…?"
"That's who you're looking for."
"Um… Why is he…?"
Yato snapped the phone shut and slid it back into his pocket. "For the same reason he's at her school. For the same reason he attacked her family's hospital. For the same reason he's threatening Yukine. He gains his bargaining power by targeting anyone close to me. It's the easiest way to get me to do what he wants."
"Because he…?" Bishamon closed her eyes and rubbed at her forehead, which seemed to have developed a permanent wrinkle. "Something still isn't clicking. How can he do all this?"
"To be honest, I don't understand how he does these things and I was…always too afraid to try. He's human, but I can't explain why he can use divine possession and own a shinki. And such a peculiar shinki, at that. I already warned you about Chiki… And there's the ayakashi, of course. The masked ones are his, aside from Ebisu's experiments. And he somehow obtained the locution brush that Ebisu went to Yomi to find, which is what's making these new named ayakashi that are more versatile. It seems like he's just disrupting the natural order of everything. I don't know how he does it, but just remember that he's a sorcerer and these are things he can do. He's extremely dangerous, Bishamon, and so is his shinki. Don't underestimate them."
"But what does he want? Why is he doing all this?"
"Who knows? The workings of his mind are mysterious. But you could probably take a hint from the wish I was born from."
"And what wish is that?"
Yato's gaze slid away from the window behind the desk. His eyes were ancient, clear and bright and cold as ice as he met Bishamon's. "Cull the herd."
"Cull…?" Bishamon's eyes went wide and her mouth twisted into a funny expression. "But why?"
Yato shrugged and his eyes dulled again. "Theory time? He doesn't think much of humans, or anyone in general. But mostly he hates the gods. Gods are immortal for as long as humanity keeps them alive, so getting rid of them requires digging the problem up by its roots. That…was supposed to be my job.
"But there has to be something else, because he's been satisfied with only calling me back on occasion and letting me roam free the rest of the time. It's a game to him, but he can't expect to make a dent in humanity that way. He has his other projects and is only making such big moves now that I tried cutting ties completely. He still needs me around for something… I don't know what he's planning, but I'll figure into it somehow as the tool by which he ultimately destroys the gods."
"The tool that…?" Bishamon shook her head. "Why are you telling me this, Yato? What is it that you want from me?"
Yato pushed himself up out of the chair with a huff, his joints stiff and creaky. He felt old.
He drifted around the desk to peer out the window. There were shinki wandering about the lawn, laughing and chatting in groups. They looked happy. This had the potential to be a happy place, as long as they didn't start playing whodunits with who blighted Bishamon again. But Bishamon seemed like she had set up a better system this time and was focusing more on building strong bonds with all her shinki instead of just collecting every aimless spirit, so maybe…
"I want you to kill him," he said into the silence.
"Wh-what? But I thought you were so secretive about it because you'd die if he did?"
"That's the assumption, anyway. He's the only human that has believed in me continuously from the beginning, and it's not like I've had enough believers to keep me alive otherwise. He's my lifeline, or that's what he's always told me. I assume that if he dies, I'll disappear."
The sky was so blue, and Yato wished he could drag his aching bones outside and find freedom under its arching, infinite expanse. Like he could run as far as he wanted, with no leashes or chains or responsibilities holding him back. But he'd always had a collar around his neck, so his sky never stretched forever no matter how far he ran.
"But Hiyori–"
"Will forget or die sooner or later, and she's the only safety net I've got. Father is my only stable believer, who I can rely on to keep me alive for centuries. Without him…"
Bishamon was quiet for a long time. "But–"
"What do you care?" Yato twisted his body around to angle it towards her, and his eyes were flat. "You're still going after him regardless, aren't you? I'm asking you to do it because you won't care as much when I disappear."
"That's…" She tilted her head down, curtains of blonde hair obscuring downcast lavender eyes. "That's not entirely true."
Yato eyed her, trying to pierce through that golden veil and peer into her mind. She was a crazy bitch and he might not ever really understand her, but he had a deep enough respect for her to entrust this task to her. If anyone could do it, it was her. He trusted that she would do what she knew was right.
"Well, then," he said more quietly, "I'm asking you because you'll still do what needs to be done without letting the details stand in your way. You're the strongest war god I know, so if anyone can do it… Just be careful with your shinki, obviously. I should do it myself and I'll give you whatever aid you need, but Yukine won't kill Father and he'll try to stop you if he sees you trying, and I don't have time to find and train another shinki. You already figured out too much, nosy bitch, and you're strong and have a grudge against him and know he has to die regardless of the consequences to me. So I'm asking you."
Bishamon looked up slowly. Her face was drawn in tight lines and her eyes were bright with suppressed emotion.
"He can't be allowed to live and continue to wreak havoc," she agreed. "I will do this for you. But…I'm sorry."
"Why?" He shrugged and turned his gaze back on the sky behind its pane of glass. He didn't want to die, didn't want to disappear. He had fought tooth and nail for survival for a thousand years, even when life had been a miserable struggle. And now that his life was finally worth living, now he would have to give it up. Maybe he should feel scared—he had always been afraid of disappearing before—but right now he just felt exhausted and dull and old. "I'm asking you to, aren't I?"
"Yes, but…"
"Don't try being so nice. It doesn't suit you."
Bishamon growled deep in the back of her throat, and order was restored to the world when the lost, plaintive note disappeared from her voice. "Stupid bastard. What's the second favor?"
Yato stayed quiet, watching the shinki out in the gardens again. He could almost hear their laughter rising up in bright peals. They wore sunny smiles. They were happy, weren't they? They had to be. So…
"I'd like you to offer Yukine a name after I release him," he said softly.
"E-excuse me?"
"Perhaps he'd prefer to stay with Kofuku and Daikoku, but Kofuku would never use him and really shouldn't have another shinki anyway. At least here he could have companions, a team. A family." He reached out and pressed the tips of his fingers to the windowpane, then pushed his palm flat against the cool glass. Below, the shinki laughed. He tried to imagine Yukine among them with a bright smile and new name inked on his skin. "Maybe he would be happy… As long as you make sure to use him and give him some attention. It would be a big adjustment, but… He can be a bit volatile sometimes, but he's a good kid. I think…he could learn to like it here with you."
"B-but–!"
"Please." Yato turned to her and caught a glimpse of her wide, pained eyes before bowing at the waist and letting his hair fall to shade his face. "Take care of my kid when I disappear."
One heartbeat, two.
"No!"
The door crashed open with a loud bang, and Yato whipped around. Yukine came barreling inside, fury and pain painted across his face, and lunged for the god.
"Y-Yukine?" Yato gaped while the gears in his brain clicked uselessly.
Hiyori was standing just outside in the hall as well, eyes wide and brimming with tears as she clutched a crinkled but neatly folded paper to her chest. Kazuma stood beside her, panic written across his face and hand still outstretched as if trying to catch Yukine and pull him back. Huh. Yato wouldn't have thought Kazuma had it in him to eavesdrop on his beloved Veena, but he was more concerned about the other two brats.
"Kazuma?" Bishamon asked, her voice rising in pitch. "What are you–?"
"How dare you?" Yukine cried. He threw himself at Yato and pounded wildly on the god's chest with small, desperate fists. Yato took a half-step back to brace himself, but otherwise stayed still while his kid vented. "You want to release me? You can't! I won't let you! You stupid, good-for-nothing god! You can't get rid of me like that! You can't–can't–"
"When I die," Yato said gently, "you'll need a new master."
"No! You're not going to die! And I don't want another master! I won't work with anyone else!"
"Don't be foolish!" he said sharply. He grabbed Yukine's face in his hands and tilted it up. The barrage of punches stopped as Yukine dropped his hands, but the ache in Yato's chest didn't disappear. Yukine's amber eyes were clouded over with moisture, and his breathing had a gasping, wavering quality to it, like he might be about to burst into tears. "It's dangerous for shinki to wander around without a master. Do you want to be killed? You will indenture yourself to another god. You can choose whoever you want, but I've thought it over and I think Bishamon is probably the best option." He chuckled weakly and forced a pained smile as he added in a lighter tone, "Look on the bright side. At least she won't annoy you as much as I do."
This did not have the desired effect. Tears broke free and spilled down Yukine's cheeks, and his hands flew up to cover his eyes as his breath hitched in a sob. Yato pulled his hands back and tried not to panic. What was he supposed to do? He wasn't any good at this comforting business at the best of times, and he didn't think there was anything—anything truthful—that he could say to make this better.
Kazuma slunk into the room and slipped around behind Yukine to join Bishamon behind the desk. "I'm sorry, Veena," he said quietly. "They showed up looking for Yato because they said he'd been acting funny, and I thought he'd been acting a bit strangely too and…"
Bishamon might have responded, but Yato wasn't paying attention. He hovered anxiously over Yukine, at a total loss, while Hiyori crept a few paces into the room and looked on with an utterly devastated expression.
"At least…" Yukine's voice broke and wavered. "At least let me keep my name…"
Yato's heart cracked in half under Yukine's pain, and he wrapped the kid in a hug. Yukine's hands fisted in the jersey, which already had wet blotches seeping through it.
"Listen," Yato said softly. "When a god dies, the names they handed out stay. It's not a problem if they reincarnate and keep their shinki, but for a god who won't reincarnate or simply disappears… You'd be a nora if I didn't release you, Yukine. And it will be that much harder to find a new master if you still have the old one's brand on you, hafuri or not."
"I don't care," Yukine whispered into Yato's chest. "I want to keep it forever…more than anything. You gave it to me… Don't take it away."
The ache in Yato's chest squeezed his heart like a vise, but he didn't know how to take Yukine's pain away. The kid was being distressingly sentimental, which would be flattering if it wasn't so heartbreaking. Yato knew Yukine didn't want to be a nora, but he sure was putting up a fight about this whole name thing. He wondered if Bishamon would take in a nora. Not under usual circumstances, not knowingly, but maybe she'd make an exception. His heart said to release Yukine and spare him from the stigma, but it also whispered that doing so would shatter the kid.
"Yukine…"
"But you're not going to disappear." Yukine jerked back and whipped around to glare daggers at Bishamon and Kazuma, who froze under his gaze. "You can't kill his dad! I won't let you!"
"Yukine…" Yato sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It's time."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Yukine demanded, rounding on him again. "You can't just give up like that! Aren't you the one who gets so pissed off at people killing themselves?"
"You said it yourself," Hiyori said timidly, inching further into the room. Her tail drooped and her lips trembled. "Even when life's painful and difficult, we should appreciate what it means to be alive at all. We can find another way…"
"It's not like that." Yato sighed harshly. Did they think he wanted to die? "But this has gone on long enough, and it's getting too dangerous. Father has been getting more and more aggressive. If I don't start agreeing to his demands or kill him, you're going to wind up dead sooner or later."
Yukine scowled. "You don't know tha–"
"Do you think it would be the first time he destroyed someone I loved just to keep me in line?" Yato hissed, pain scraping along his voice in a grating rasp. Sakura smiled back at him from his memories, and he hunched his shoulders. "It's not going to happen again."
Yukine blinked back, pained anger fading to uncertainty. Hiyori bit her lip and looked away.
"We know the risks, Yato," she said quietly. "But he can't chase us off so easily, and we're holding our own against him so far. It's…not your fault, you know."
"I'm your hafuri," Yukine added, eyes hardening with determination. "We're a team. We're bound together till the end. Whatever happens, we face it together."
Yato groaned and ran a hand through his hair, wishing they weren't so naïvely stubborn. "Then think about everyone else. He already masterminded Ebisu's reincarnation and killed Tsuguha. Do you know how many people were hurt during the infestation of the hospital? Not just Hiyori and her family. He has to be stopped." His gaze wandered away and he lowered his voice. "I should have killed him centuries ago, but I was a coward. Just…let me do something right for once."
"Yato, please…" Hiyori sniffled and scrubbed at her face. "There has to be another way."
"Yeah." Yukine seized on that and nodded vigorously. "There has to be something else. I can't… Stop talking like that and going around behind my back! It's my job to keep you alive!"
Yato fixed solemn eyes on him. "No, it isn't."
Yukine blinked in surprise. "Of course–"
"Have you lost your way, Yukine? Hiiro kept me alive for centuries. Do you want to be like her?" Yato's chest immediately tightened as Yukine gaped at him, shock clouding his eyes. "I didn't ask you to keep me alive," he said more gently. "I asked you to guide my way to becoming a better god, to change so that I'm something more than Father's puppet. That is how you're supposed to be protecting me. Tell me, my hafuri, is it proper for a good god to let such evil run unchecked or should it be eradicated for the greater good? Can you stand to pass judgment on that, Yukine?"
Yukine's face crumpled. Yato felt bad for hitting him with the truth so bluntly, but the kid needed to hear it.
"I don't know," Yukine whispered. He swayed forward to bury his face in Yato's chest again and clutch at the jersey. Yato stayed quiet and wrapped his arms around his kid and pretended not to feel the tears. "I don't know, but…I don't want you to die."
Yato tangled a hand in Yukine's hair and dropped his chin onto the kid's head as he stared out blankly. He didn't honestly know how he'd won such devoted loyalty, but it was a double-edged sword.
"You don't have to release Yukine." Hiyori's smile was watery and wobbly, and her eyes were still bright with pain as she unfolded the page in her hands to peer down at it. "You won't disappear, not even if your father dies."
"Where did you get that?" Yato demanded, catching a glimpse of the picture sketched across the page. He had thought he'd gotten rid of all his more melancholy musings.
Hiyori raised her gaze back up to meet his eyes with a sad smile. "I'm not going to forget you, and you have a shrine," she said with total confidence. Yato wanted to shake her and ask if she was really so innocent that she didn't realize the kind of pressure she would be putting on herself as his sole, fragile lifeline. "And you have Yukine. He's been doing such a great job as your exemplar, hasn't he?"
"…Yes…"
"Then trust him. He'll guide you and help you get your name out there. You'll have lots of believers before you know it! Don't give up, Yato! We'll find another way."
Yato stared at her. That was what he had been trying to do for centuries with no success. He was still bound to Father because of his utter inability to be remembered by anyone else. He had complete faith in Yukine, but this was a long shot and it wasn't a burden he wanted to place on his kid any more than he wanted to put it on Hiyori to be his lifeline.
Only Yukine's sniffles broke through the stillness hanging over the room like a shroud, while Hiyori looked on in desperate hope. Yato tightened his grip on Yukine, holding him closer.
"You're right," he said brightly, flashing Hiyori a smile. "Sorry about that… I guess I've just been thinking too much. I don't want to give up. We can definitely find another way!"
Relief flooded Hiyori's face and she smiled back. "It will definitely work out. You'll see!"
She crossed the space between them to bend over and try to soothe Yukine, who only clutched Yato tighter.
Over their heads, Yato fixed flat, solemn eyes on Bishamon and Kazuma. Kazuma bit down on the inside of his cheek and his eyes flickered with regret. Bishamon's face was pinched and her eyes were bleak with understanding.
She nodded once.
'Thank you,' Yato mouthed.
He held Yukine closer and let his gaze drift back to the window and the sky that beckoned him so warmly as if there wasn't a glass pane blocking his way. He was afraid that when he walked outside a few minutes from now, it would feel just as far away. No matter what sky he walked under, he would always be trapped beneath the glass.
The leash around his neck pulled tighter.
Note: In a world where Yato might actually ask for help instead of always running off on his own. But is still being stupid about it, because this is Yato X)