Chapter One:The Poison of Rage.

"You…don't…want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.

"No."

I would have walked through fire for him…I would have jumped from the tallest height,

I was thrown into madness, I was plunged down into the depths of hell, tormented by his silky smooth voice as his words coursed through my veins as if a blazing fire. It has been six months; six months since I last say my Edward. I have had the burden of his image burned into my soul, and never can I find a strong enough release from his shadowed grip, for he still haunts my every waking moment.

But, I've gotten better at hiding my problems; I've got it all hidden away. Hidden, in the darkest recess of my soul where not even he can retrieve it.

A faint knock at my door stirs me out of my daze, "Come in." My voice…I can scarcely remember a time when it was so frigid. A faint turn of the brass knob, and the door moves open, but barely just.

"Bell, I was wondering…um…do you wanna go fishing? It would be just me and you."

My dad spoke quietly, his voice washed in pity. I pushed back a grimace, I was so sick of this pity, I did not want pity, I wanted release from that damn perfect smile that could still enchant me no matter how much its owner hated me! My dad was at least trying though, and that was more than anyone really did here. I got up my strength and forced a rather fake smile onto my face, if Charlie could try, then so could I.

"Sure dad, I'd love to!" The enthusiasm almost sounded real, even to my ears. My dad, while not much of a talker was surely no fool. He realized that I was acting, but smiled none the less while showing me that he was glad that I was at least I was trying.

"Wonderful! We can tomorrow morning…is there anyone you want to go with?" I knew whom he was talking about. As of late my Charlie had been trying to push me to be with Jacob Black, or any one really, so long as my thought never strayed to Edward.

"Um…that's okay dad, I'd rather it just be us." Charlie just smiled and turned to leave, but not before turning around again. "Bella, we are out of food and I was…"

I pushed my hand into the air, making a small nodding motion. "No worry dad, I'll just swing by the grocery store and get something to fix." He smiled at me, and simply said

"You're the best, Bells."

I pushed myself up, and got ready to leave; I slipped on my shoes and swept my hair into a ponytail.

I walked down the stairs slowly as I had no reason to hurry, what was the point anymore…?

I briefly shook my head, "No, you've got to be stronger than this. You can't let him do this to you, you need to move on…"

I reached the bottom of the stairs, and swung out on the rail, walking purposely to the door.

I walked out the door, down the porch and into my truck. The drive was rather boring, nothing really caught my interest, I slipped into a parking space, and flung open the drivers side door. I sat there, waiting. I have no idea how long I sat there in that tiny daze, but it could not have been more than five minutes. I slid out of the car and walked over to the black pad in front of the sliding glass doors, they slid open without all but the sound of smooth glass slipping slowly against metal. A burst of cool air caught my face, and I walked into the store.

It was relatively empty; I swept through the isles, getting everything I would need for dinner that night, a few things of angel hair pasta, some sauce, some spices and a six-pack of coke. I was about to walk to the register when I heard two voices, conversing almost silently. I normally would not do this, but I peaked around the corner of the larger freezer that held all the deserts, and saw that it was Lauren and Jessica.

"-Lauren just shut up!" Jessica hissed, her face looked a little agitated.

"No, you know its true! She's gone nuts, she's never been the same since Cullen left, and you know it!" Lauren hissed back, equally aggravated.

"Why do you hate her?" Jessica asked, her voice filled with venom.

"Exactly for the same reasons you did! Because she can have any guy she wants, and look at her! All upset over that worthless Cullen freak! She's such a drama queen; she's such an attention whore! And you can't deny that."

There was a very long pause, and then Jessica just simply said "Your right."

My heart broke and healed itself at the same time, I'm not really sure how you can say that and not really wonder if you're insane. My friends thought I was a drama queen, they assumed that I was all hung up over Edward Cullen…they were sadly right. What had I let myself do? I had completely ruined myself, and over that man who did not even give a damn whether I lived or died!

And then it hit me, he was gone, he really was gone. He left me, and he doesn't love me.

I dropped everything I'd been holding, and at that moment I didn't really care as I ran to my truck, I needed to get away, I needed to find somewhere else to be. I got in and slammed my door and pulled out of the lot, my frightfully loud engine only added to my rage. I was not upset, poor little Bella, I was not going to get even, I was going to get ANGRY! To long had I been calm, nice Bella.

I drove as far as I could, I was on the highway, driving past large forest like groupings of trees, I was going to get the hell out of Forks if I had to walk. Well, true to my thoughts, the truck died.

"No, no come on baby! No, don't do this to me!" As the truck slowly began to wind down, I began pushing harder on the gas. With a loud roar, the truck died. I threw my hands up and screamed, and slammed my fist on the dash. Did I piss off the God of Good luck or something? No, seriously, who did I piss off to deserve all this crap?

I got out of the truck, and with and exasperated screech I kicked the blasted thing, effectively throwing myself on the road with the sudden loss of balance.

I looked up at the wide cloudy vault of heaven the seemed to loom above Forks permanently, and said with an almost hoarse whisper. "Why?"

I heard a screech of tires and saw a car heading straight for me, I was about to be hit by one ton of Buick. 'Great' was my only thought 'a perfect end to a perfect day.' As I braced myself for the impact and closed my eyes, awaiting death I suddenly felt weightless, something was hauling me through the air with extreme speed.

When we touched down, I fell on my rump, an amused chuckle escaped from my savior. I looked up and nearly fainted.

"Having car trouble?" Was all they could say, and I myself was speechless. By God, had I completely lost my mind? Because standing before me was my savior, Victoria.