Disclaimer- They aren't mine, & neither are the quotes or anything. If they were we would have so many different storylines lolz

Don't hate me for this story line ok! I love Jenny and would never want anything like this to happen to her but after watching Internal Affairs and Blowback again and again this line kept coming back to me cause even after Judgement Day we have never gotten a real answer to the question, I think there was way more to it than her dad so I have decided to make my own answer to the question lolz its totally different from the episode though. Was I the only one who totally hated how they portrayed Jen in Internal Affairs?

What did he do Jen?

"You don't want ARES, you want him"

"Damm right I want him, I've been trying for a decade to bring him down"

"So it is personal"

"What did he do to you Jenny?"

"You have no need to know Special Agent Gibbs"-- NCIS 'Blowback' - Season four

"I have been trying for a decade to bring him down" She said anger along with fear and pain so obvious in her voice.

"What did he do to you Jenny?" He asked watching her carefully from his seat in the darkened MTAC but instead of an answer he was met with her instantly pulling up her guard and pacing angrily around MTAC but he knew her well enough to know she was scared, scared by the enlarged photo of the French man on the screen in front of them, He stood up and tried to cut her off, He placed a hand on around her arm and asked her again quieter "What did he do to you Jenny?" He could hear the urgency in his own voice and hated instantly how needy and desperate it sounded but he had to know, Know why this picture of an older man scared her so much.

He felt her breathing increase, her arm slightly trembling under his strong grip just as she opened her mouth to say something Cynthia came through the solid metal door of MTAC looking flustered "Director SecNav is..." She trailed off and stopped advancing into the darkened room when she saw that The Director standing in the middle of MTAC with Agent Gibb's holding firmly onto her arm. Cynthia noticed that the room was empty of any techs, of anyone apart from the couple that were obivously fighting, She noticed the worry and concern etched into his face not to mention the obvious tension that was in the room and started to worry about her boss more.

She backed away slowly "Sorry Director, I will tell him you are busy at the moment" She said hurriedly wanting nothing more than to get away from the awful feeling in the room she reached for the door handle but Jens voice stopped her, It sounded tired and weaker than usual Cynthia thought to herself.

"No I will take the call, Agent Gibbs was just leaving anyway" Jen told her assistant. Telling Gibbs at the same time with her eyes for him to just drop it, He shook his head slightly at her so she knew that this was far from over then he released her arm and walked out of MTAC.

"I will see you later to talk about this later Director" He informed Jen coldly, His words and tone making her wince and feel awful inside.

Cynthia and Jen both winced this time as he slammed the door with force after him. Cynthia then turned to look at Jenny "I can tell SecNav you will call him back" She offered quietly worried about Jen.

Jen shook her head as if to convince herself she was in the right frame of mind to be taking phone calls from her boss and said "No Cynthia, Honestly I will be fine. I just have a headache if you could get me two panadol and some water please"

Cynthia nodded and hurried off to get them while Jen walked back to her office, Closing off the thoughts that were currently screaming through her mind at her to tell Gibbs everything, to finally share her awful secret with him but she shook her head knowing that sharing what had happened to her with anyone was not a possibility especially with one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

She closed her office door and sank down into her chair before picking up her phone and pushing line 1 where she knew SecNav was waiting for her.

Cynthia knocked then slipped through Jens office door quietly and placed the panadol in Jens outstretched hand and the water beside her, Jen smiled and mouthed 'Thank you' As Cynthia smiled and nodded back before she slipped back out of the office.

She got off the phone over an hour later and her headache was still pounding if not more now. She stood up and grabbed for the edge of the desk as her office slowly spun around her.

"Cynthia" She called for her assistant

Cynthia was sitting at her desk being held prisoner by Agent Gibbs famous stare. When they both heard Jenny call out for Cynthia they both looked towards the closed office door. Gibbs stood up as did Cynthia he turned to look at her "Stay here I will go" He told her firmly

"But she asked..." Cynthia stopped talking when he fixed her with a stare that she hadn't even seen him give Tony

"I'll just wait here then" She murmured to herself sitting back behind her desk as Gibbs walked quickly into Jens office closing the door behind him. He immediately noticed that Jen looked so very pale.

She looked up when she heard her office door close and was surprised to see Jethro instead of the requested Cynthia, despite her headache she raised her eyebrows in her pointed look asking him why he was there without words when he said nothing she spoke "Did you just happen to be passing by Jethro?" She inquired scarsticaly.

He smiled and shook his head taking a sip from his coffee before answering "No Jen. I was waiting figured that we could grab something for dinner since its time to go home"

She smiled at him "Jethro in all the years you have worked for NCIS you have never left on time and its very rare that you let your team go home on time"

Silence settled over them as she hadn't asked him a question more made a statement, He drank the last of his coffee threw it into her bin then walked over so he was standing beside her leaning against her desks edge.

"Maybe I was worried about you and wanted to check that you ate something and got home ok tonight" He told her softly leaning towards her as he spoke.

She felt herself losing herself in his words and the way she could feel his breath on her neck, when he stopped talking she missed the warmth from it.

"Maybe you don't need to worry about me. I am fine Jethro" She told him pulling all of her guards up straight away

Now he raised his eyebrows at her. She raised her own back and said "Really Jethro I...am...fine" Pausing between every word so the beginning was emphasized.

He stood up and shook his head at her, which made her just feel more anger towards him, She sighed knowing that he was probaly acting this way because he knew it would get a reaction from her but she still gave him one.

"Fine" She told him standing up and reaching for her coat and bag

"Fine?" He repeated looking at her with questioning eyes

"Well you offered dinner and since I know you, I know that you will not give up until I agree so instead of sitting here and staring at each other for the next hour lets go" She told him firmly deciding to herself that where ever they went had better have some damm good wine she lead the way out of her office and down to the garage to his car.

Once they were both seated in the car he turned to look at her,

"Well?" He asked her

"What do you mean well?" She asked him annoyance easy to hear in her voice

"You are the one that invited me out for dinner, when one does that it does usually mean that they have something planned Jethro" She told him

He nodded and without saying a word started the car, A short while later they pulled up into Gibbs driveway. Jen turned quickly to look at him "Jethro?" She asked he didn't answer her instead he calmly undid his seatbelt and opened his door Jen remained seated not even undoing her seat belt he opened her door for her and asked "Are you going to come in Jen?"

She shoot him a angry look "I thought you said we were going for dinner" She said pouting at him

He smiled and shook his head "I said I wanted to check you ate something and got home ok tonight Jen, Besides I have a brand new bottle of bourbon and a drawer full of takeout menus" He offered to her reaching over her and unclicking her seatbelt then leaning back against the door frame watching her.

She couldn't help but smile at him, She nodded "Ok since you make it sound so tempting Jethro" She told him accepting the hand he offered her and following him up the front path to his always unlocked front door.

She rolled her eyes when he just turned the handle "You really should lock your front door you know" She told him

"Why would I want to?" He asked her closing the door after her and heading for the drawer in his kitchen that was crammed full of takeout menus. She followed behind him and couldn't stop herself from laughing as he pulled handfuls of takeout menus out of the packed full drawer "Because houses have doors for a reason" She told him walking over to the piles of menus and sorting through them.

He turned around the last lot of menus in his hands "Maybe, but I have my gun"

She sighed and rolled her eyes knowing that it was a losing battle "I think we should get chinese from here" She told him thrusting a menu from the pile into his hands, He read it over and saw that it was the place that he had bought take away from when she had first became Director and taken it up to her office for her. "Sounds good, You want the usual?" He asked her.

She nodded and walked down the hallway to the door that lead to his basement for she knew that was where the bourbon was kept. He heard her pull the door open and smiled as he heard her high heels tap down the stairs, he picked up his phone and placed their orders then walked down the stairs himself, He was suprised to see her painfully high looking heels kicked off at the bottom of the stair case but what suprised him more was the sight of Jen sitting on his work bench the bottle of bourbon sitting untouched beside her and tears running down her face. He pushed himself up so he was sitting beside her on the work bench and put both arms around her and rubbed her back as she sobbed her heart out.

About 20 minutes later they both heard the doorbell ring and she pulled away from him sniffling still, He studied her carefully "You'll be ok?" He asked her worried

She smiled and pushed him off the work bench playfully "I'll be fine now go get the food before it gets cold, I'm hungry" He was glad to hear her voice again but worried still because the smile didn't reach her eyes.

He glanced at her as he walked up the stairs quickly and noticed as she bought her hand up to wipe her tears her hand was shaking. A few minutes later he walked back down the stairs and noticed she hadn't moved since he had left her "You gona want a plate Jen?" He asked her settling beside her again.

She reached to where the bags sat on his lap and pulled out what was hers "I'll be fine" She told him.

He watched her carefully noticing her voice wavered as she spoke. "Are you going to eat or just watch me Jethro?" She asked him attempting to make her tone light but not really pulling it off.

He reached out and took her hand "Tell me why you really want to take him down Jen"

She shook her head "I've told you Jethro, You have no need to know" She told him trying to avoid his concerned gaze.

"If you really meant that then you wouldn't have come here Jen" He told her softly

She felt the tears starting to form in her eyes again, she used her spare hand to brush away the tears that were threatning to fall.

"I...I can't talk about it just drop it Jethro"

"Thats where you're wrong Jen, I can't drop it. I care about you, I'm worried about you"

"When you went after Ari you went as far as you had to Jethro, Why can't you let me go after my monster?" She asked him

"Because its consuming you Jen. You want more than to take him down, You want revenge for something and that makes you dangerous. It means you can lose sight of the boundaries. You are losing sight of them already. How long do you think it will be before they ask for your resgination if you keep going like this?"

"You're wrong Jethro. I want nothing more than to take him down."

"If that was true then you would have let someone take care of it for you long ago, But you want to be the one that pulls the trigger, You need to be the one that watches him take his last breath.Why is that Jen?"

"You don't know what its like" She told him trying to stop her tears

"Yes, Yes I do Jen" He told her looking her directly into her eyes as he spoke

"No, You don't. How can you?" She shoot back now angry that he thought he understood

"Tell me then, Make me understand Jen" He told her gently

"I...I can't sleep everytime I do I see him, I hear his voice taunting me. I hate the dark it reminds me of him. After it happened I pushed it out, pushed it to the back of my mind and I was doing fine until one day I'm going through the latest Intel in MTAC and all of a sudden his face is looking back at me. Ever since then I jump at every sound, everytime someone touches me I want to scream. I...I thought I had put it behind me but seeing his face again bought it all back and this time I can't push it away no matter how hard I try" She told him crying.

"Tell me what he did to you Jenny" He whispered to her squeezing her hand to show her he was here for here, Hoping to himself that the thoughts running through his head were wrong and she was going to tell him something like he was a ex. but the way she looked at him before she opened her mouth confirmed his worst fears and made him feel so sick.

"I only remember parts like it was a movie and I was seeing snippets of it, I remember that I was naked and he was kissing me. His hands felt so awful like they were burning through my skin just by touching me but I didn't try to get away cause I could feel the gun, It felt so cold against my neck... It hurt too much to try and stop him..I...I felt so so heavy and tired.I tried to think of you and pretend that it was you. I thought that maybe it would be easier that way. I really tried to think about you, about how you were always so gentle but he hurt me so badly that it didn't work, Cause I knew you would never hurt me like he was. I remember starting to cry. He laughed at me when I started crying. I was so frightened...That...that he was going to kill me once he was done, but I was also angry, Angry that he was hurting me and after all my training all my skills I still was powerless to stop him, to help myself,

When he was finished he told me that it was payback, Payback for my father thinking he could cross them. I didn't even understand what he meant until I was going through dads old files months later and that was when I came across recordings and I recongised the voice straight away, it was him. Then I remember waking up on the bathroom floor, I...I don't even know how I got there and thats all I remember."

She was crying so much, He didn't say anything instead he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her into his lap. "Shhh Jen, It is going to be ok I promise you" He whispered to her feeling sick after what she had told him.

She pulled away from his chest where her head had been resting and looked at him "How can you promise?" She asked him his eyes showing him so clearly her doubts.

"Because I'm going to help you find him and so will the team and we will get him Jen, I know we will" He told her

Her eyes widended in fear when he mentioned the team she starting shaking again "No...No Jethro you can't tell them" She choked out

"Hey shhhh, I wouldn never tell them Jen, They don't have know why we want him ok, All they need to know is we want him" He explained hating seeing the fear in her eyes.

He rubbed her back as she continued to cry, After what felt like hours he felt her breathing even out and realised she had fallen asleep.

"Its ok Jen, I promise we'll find him" He whispered into her hair, Before much to his backs protests he carried her up his basement stairs and into his bedroom so she wouldn't wake up with a sore back.

End.

Remember to review cause lets face it deep down everyone lives for them hehe :) xx