Warnings: Shounen Ai, very short
Pairings: ?x5
Summary: Wufei has trouble sleeping, and ponders his relationship
A/N: eh...
Late Night Musings
by Amyeyl
Late at night when it gets dark, I can't help but wonder what he sees in me. Night seems to be a time for thinking, the dark, stillness of it all seems to have been created just for it. I lay in bed, my head pillowed on his chest. It rises and falls slowly, peacefully as he sleeps. I long to join him, if only my turbulent mind would allow me. It seems reluctant to do so as it questions once more my worthiness to be here with him.
I know I love him, he knows that as well, but it isn't enough. He tells me he loves me, that I shouldn't feel so worried. He gets mad at times, at my insecurities, and it's times like those that I fear him the most. I don't want to lose him, but I don't know how to keep him. I'm driven to meaningless apologies which only anger him further, and he demands to know if I have faith in him or not. Of course I do, he knows this as well. Then he asks why can't I trust him, why can't I believe him when his words are so obviously true. I...I want to believe him, I've got to believe him, but how can I? How can I when he deserves so much more, so much more than I have or can ever give?
He tells me I'm all he'll ever need, all he'll ever want. Then to prove it, he kisses me and it progresses from there. Our lovemaking is long and drawn out as he apologizes for his anger and pledges his love. He wants me to know, wants me to be sure, and then we end up like this.
As we lay in bed, the thoughts return to me. How can he love someone who can't even trust him? He stirs beneath me, I must have woken him somehow...
"Love you," he murmurs, and cracks open violet eyes to look up at me. He's so perfect, how could it be true...? He runs his fingers over my eyes, bidding me to rest and abandon these thoughts for the night.
"Go to sleep Wufei."