Disclaimer: The characters belong to Rainbow Rowell.
A/N: This fic is inspired by "The Petal Peddler," an A/U on Tumblr, but I think it stands on its own okay. It's a non-magical Carry On AU.
Baz exited out of his messaging app, jabbing at his phone screen aggressively, and then opened Instagram. He selected an old picture of Simon's bare shoulders and tapped out as pointed a message as he could. Fuck his father.
Under two minutes after the Instagram post went live, Simon started calling him. Baz sighed. He probably should have predicted that. He swiped to ignore the call, only for another call to come in, also from Simon. Baz had to ignore five more calls. And then the texts started.
Simon: Baz?
Simon: Are you okay?
Simon: Please talk to me.
Simon: I love you.
Simon: Please.
Baz sighed, relenting.
Baz: i'm sorry, simon. i just can't right now. if we talk i'm going to be horrible to you and you don't deserve that.
Simon: It's okay, Baz. I'm your boyfriend. I'm like the buffer between you and the rest of the world. If you need to take your anger out on someone, it's okay for that person to be me.
Baz: ?
Baz: no it's not?
Baz: do you even hear yourself?
Baz: you're a wonderful boyfriend and it would not be remotely fair for me to take anything out on you.
Simon: It's fine, Baz. I'd rather be your punching bag than have you take it out on someone who doesn't understand why you're angry or risk you ruining a relationship that actually matters.
Baz: what the HELL, simon? what the ACTUAL FUCK?
Simon: Sorry?
Baz: christ. don't apologize. just tell me, who told you this?
Simon: What?
Baz: who told you that being someone's boyfriend meant being their punching bag?
Simon: Oh. I guess it was Eric?
Baz: i should have guessed. i'm so glad you're no longer dating that slimeball, and not just because it means i get to date you instead. you deserve so much better than to have someone like him messing you around.
Baz: but let me get this through your head, simon. you deserve to be treated well by absolutely everyone, and more than anything you deserve for me to treat you well. always. even when i'm angry. hell, even when i'm angry WITH YOU.
Baz: and as for "ruining a relationship that actually matters"—no other relationship i have matters as much as what i have with you. i'm so sorry i haven't made that clear enough to you, but you are the light of my life and i love you.
Baz: please believe me when i tell you how much you matter to me, simon.
Simon: Oh my God, Baz, I'm crying. You didn't have to say all that. It's just me.
Baz: nothing is ever "just" with you, love.
Simon: You're too sweet.
Simon: Can we talk about what happened with your father?
Baz: i'd really rather not.
Simon: Baz . . .
Baz: i mean it, love. but if you'd come over . . . i'd like that.
Simon: On my way.
A/N: Happy birthday, Baz! Sometimes I just need to write characters disabusing each other of toxic ideas. It's really cathartic for me and I hope you enjoyed it too!