Summary:
Rey and Kylo Ren haven't had a force bond since Crait. Yet their lives are still intertwined. Both left confused by previous events, they can only find comfort in eachother.
"That's how we'll win. Not by destroying what we hate, but by saving what we love" ~Rose Tico
(I can't remember the exact quote so hopefully thats similar?)
My first Reylo oneshot. I hope you enjoy :)
Crait was nothing but a distant memory to Rey now. Although it had only been a month, everything that had happened in between felt like an eternity.
She hadn't seen or heard from Ben since then. When she shut the door of the millennium falcon with a heavy ache in her chest.
In his eyes, vague but clear, Rey could see the regret swirling through his dark iris's. She knew then why he had to wear the mask- because his emotions showed so clearly through his eyes.
Rey was having trouble determining whether the bond was broken, or they were just getting better at shutting the other out. If Snoke told the truth and he had created the bond, it should have been broken with his death. But she knew this wasn't the case- Crait was after the supreme leader's death.
Rey couldn't help but feel a sense of grief flow through her whenever she thought about Ben. His transition to the light had started, only to be taken away just as fast. She couldn't blame him completely. She pressured him at a time when she should have been sympathetic. Maybe if she'd had helped him through the loss of the evil man he saw as a father figure, he would see just what the light could do.
Just what they could do.
But there was no they. Not anymore. There was dark and there was light. And they were each on the opposite ends of the spectrum.
—
He feels her first. He feels the pull in his chest similar to the first time their bond initiated. He knew their bond wasn't broken-he could still feel her. She thought the bond was severed the day she closed the door of the millennium falcon on him, but he knew the truth.
He hears her breathing halt as she realizes that he's present with her. She's in a small room, seated on a bed holding the broken pieces of Skywalker's lightsaber in her hands.
She chooses to ignore him, instead focusing on finding a way to fix the saber. Her fingers trace the jagged edges where it was split, eyes narrowing in concentration.
If I ignore him he'll go away. If I ignore him he'll go away, Rey chants to herself.
"I know you know I'm here Rey," Kylo states, annoyed by her stubbornness. She always finds a way to wiggle under his skin, whether he wants her there or not. Rey gently places the split saber onto her bed and turns to face Ben, annoyance evident on her usual soft features.
"What do you want Ben?" She bites, choosing to ignore the hurt that flashes across his eyes. Good. Let him hurt. Let him hurt like he hurt me.
He doesn't answer her, instead choosing to walk across the room and sit next to her on the bed. She shuffles at first, uncomfortable by the sudden proximity, but she finally relaxes and her shoulders fall slightly.
Rey's frustration begins to grow as the man beside her continuously stays silent, his eyes only focused on the nails he had obviously been chewing from anxiety. She takes several deep breaths before choosing to speak again.
"Just tell me why." she whispers, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Ben looks up at her when she speaks, confusion clear on his face. He doesn't know what answer she wants. He never has been good with people, especially not with people of the female gender.
"Why what?" he finally replies, his face falling at the sight of a tear rolling down her face. His temptation to reach out and brush it away is strong, but his common sense is stronger.
"Why did you let it all go? Why would you kill Snoke only to take over his position and do the exact same things that he was doing wrong? How could you just forget what we did? What we had?" her voice lowers on the last question, the fear of his response heavy in her heart.
She thought that was his redemption. That killing Snoke would finally release Ben Solo. That going to him would help him remember what it felt like to be human. But clearly she was wrong. Every hope she once had for Ben Solo was almost nonexistent. And in it's place, disgust at the man everyone calls Kylo Ren.
She thought he'd turn. If not for the resistance or for her, then for himself.
"I asked you to join me Rey. We could have ruled the galaxy, together. The only thing stopping us was you," Ben snaps, standing from his seat again. She stands with him, if only so that she wouldn't be shorter than him then she already is.
"You're run by greed, Ren. You crave power. I couldn't follow you on that path. It's not who I am. It's not who Ben Solo is either," Rey responds angrily, striding towards him so that they're only inches apart.
He takes notice that she instead calls him Ren this time. Not by the name he once thought dead. The one he thought he buried. The one he was starting to enjoy hearing from her lips. But by the name she knew him as when she didn't know him. When she saw him as a monster.
You are a monster. She had once said to him. And he agreed. But that didn't mean it had stung any less to hear it from her lips.
"It is who Ben Solo is. It's who I am. If I don't have power then what am I? The monster that killed his father and destroyed his name and legacy?" Ben howls, knowing that the mention of his father would hurt her as much as it would hurt him.
"You don't have to be that person. There's still good in you. Why won't you let it in? Han knew there was good in you. That's why he came after you on the bridge. I know there's still good in you Ben. Why must you keep denying it?"
The pain is evident in her voice. She's angry with him. She hasn't felt this much anger since her parents left her on the desert of Jakku in the hands of Unkar Plutt. Since they left her for their own selfish desires.
And he did the exact same thing. She knows that she shouldn't have pressured him that day in the throne room, but he still made the choice. The choice to give everything up for his own desires. And she couldn't do that. Not even if the man she had come to love held his hand out and offered her the galaxy.
She wouldn't do that.
"Why do you hold on, Rey? Why do you keep holding on to me? Maybe there is still good in me, but that doesn't change anything. It doesn't change what I've done," he keeps his stare on her, the tears flowing freely from her eyes now.
"Because someone has to hold on. And I'm the only person left who still believes in you. Who still loves you, even knowing that there's still hate in you," She sobs, beginning to push forward into him with her fists hammering against his chest.
Ben freezes. Love is a strange concept to him. It's weakness. It's a useless emotion, one that makes you vulnerable. One that holds you hostage.
But Ben knows that without Rey in his head or his heart, he would lose himself completely. Whether it was Ben Solo, or Kylo Ren, he needed her light in his life. He couldn't keep pretending that without her he'd be fine. He wouldn't be. He'd be completely lost.
He grabs her fists with his hands, stalling her angry attacks against his chest. He looks down at her tear stained face, his own eyes filling with the unshed tears of his childhood.
"I can't come back Rey. Not after what I've done." he says softly, pulling her head against his chest. They stand in the middle of the room in a tight embrace, using the other to keep their balance.
Rey pulls back slightly, reaching her hand up to trace the scar that she gave him on Starkiller. Her fingers travel down to his jaw, where his short stubble rubs against her calloused fingertips.
"Yes, you can. Despite what she says or what you think, Leia would welcome you back with open arms. As would I," she says, stroking his cheek. His eyes drift to her lips, which are parted slightly and panting in exasperation.
They haven't kissed before. The last time they touched was when they held hands over the force bond when she was on Ach-To. But they've always wondered how deep the force bond actually is.
He bends slightly, her lips coming up to meet his. It feels softer then it would if he were actually there, but she feels it. It's soft and gentle and warm. Everything Kylo Ren is not.
But Ben Solo is still in there.
He's not lost.
And she'll do whatever it takes to bring him back.