I don't really have a title for this, so thus it's only the OC's name
Abuse . . . I sure give a lot of it to my OCs in this world . . . You'll find that out in other stories
I sure as hell don't own Hoshino Katsura's characters or her world, but I love playing around in it.
Reviews are love, like always. Let me know what you think. Probably won't be added to.
Circe stood in the fields, watching the the grain wave in the breeze with absolutely no expression on her face. She'd carefully practiced the lack of feeling as a child, training herself to be distant from the world. There was only one thing that could make her feel anything at this point, and that was the reminder of the one thing that barred her from her dream.
The girl had absolutely no memory. Everything she learned, she had to write down immediately, or it would be forgotten. Although everyone insisted it was not the case, she felt like the failure of the Bookman clan.
It wasn't her fault, since she'd had a perfect memory as a child, but she'd taken a sharp blow to the back of her head when she was 5, and since then, her memory had been destroyed. The resultant lump on the back of her head was the only way she could remember how it happened as well. Applying pressure to the lump brought back the memories in full force, giving her a massive migraine and eventually causing her to fall over in a dead faint.
Even though she knew that she could never succeed with her memory, she still trained that distance, and cut herself off connecting to anyone. It impressed and saddened the clan at the same time. She could live a normal life if she wanted to, but she always refused, claiming that without the clan, she was nothing.
Walking down the hill, the redheaded apprentice noticed a girl standing there that he hadn't seen before.
"Hey Gramps, who's that?" he asked the older man next to him.
"Hm?" the man looked over. "Oh. That's Circe."
"That doesn't tell me anything."
"She lost her capability for memory, otherwise she'd be walking next to me, and you might be standing there."
"How did she lose it?"
"You'd have to ask her. I wasn't there." the man dissembled, walking ahead of the redhead, who'd stopped to stare at the girl.
Glancing over at his mentor's rapidly disappearing back, the young man walked over the short-haired blonde girl. He really should be dropping off his reports like the old panda was doing, but this girl intrigued him. Sensing the presence of another person, Circe sighed.
"So which one are you? Not that I'd remember."
"Most recently I was called Lavi, still haven't picked a new name yet."
"Whichever." she shrugged, returning to the focus of the grasses.
"I'd heard about your memory losses, but I've been so busy with Gramps that I haven't been able to come back a lot. This is the first time I've seen you."
"Yes, well, I don't socialize a lot."
"Geez, with your attitude and my memory, that'd make a perfect bookman." Circe caught her anger before it showed, she didn't want that reminder.
"Before I suffered that blow to my head, I did have that kind of memory, so I'll thank you not to bring that up again."
"Actually, I was curious about that."
"Curiosity only works with the unseen history, not people's lives. I can see you've a long way to go."
"Hey, I hear that enough from the old panda, I don't need it from someone without a memory too."
"Are you trying to piss me off?"
"If it'll get you to talk, sure." he grinned cheekily.
"And if I tell you about the incident, you'll leave me alone?" She whirled to look at him.
"Sure, I guess."
Circe closed her eyes and seethed for a moment before raising her hand to her head and locating the knot on the back of it from the injury. Pressing in on it hard, she gasped in pain, and the memories of the injury came back to her.
"I was . . . playing outside . . . I was only five. A branch . . . hit me from above. I was unconscious for weeks . . . when I woke . . . woke up . . . I couldn't . . . couldn't remember anything." she muttered in gasps before fainting.
"Shit! Circe . . ." he took a step towards her.
"Idiot apprentice! get in here and do your work, stop slacking off with that girl!" called Bookman's voice.
"But she . . ."
"Someone else will take care of it! You worry too much about others. Now get in here!"
Looking at her prone form one last time, the young man once known as Lavi headed towards his mentor, and all the work he'd be doing.
Coming to, the young blonde woman found herself in her room. Her usual caretaker was at her bedside again.
"What happened this time, Akari?"
"According to Bookman's apprentice, you pressed against your injury again, forcing yourself to remember. Then you passed out."
"Hm, so Bookman and his apprentice are here. I wonder what for."
"Most likely to drop off reports, fill out paperwork. Same as always." the woman said patiently.
"I'm sorry Akari. I wish I could remember at least all these basics."
"I'm well used to it, Circe. I would have left long ago if I were unsuited to the position."
"At least I remember my name."
"Every little bit counts, doesn't it?"
The blonde just harrumphed and stood.
"I'm fine now, I'm going back out to the fields." she stated bluntly before leaving the room.
'I remember only one thing from my past without having to bother that knot on my head' Circe thought to herself as she climbed the hill to her favorite spot. At least, that's what everyone said, since she always went there. 'I remember . . . I wanted to be Bookman's apprentice. I was supposed to be it, but then I was injured, and someone else was chosen. Why? Why did it have to happen?'
"Hey, you're ok." came a voice from behind her.
Turning, she saw a tall redhead with an eyepatch covering his right eye.
"Are you this apprentice that saw what happened to me?" she asked.
He blinked a few times, confused for a moment as to why she couldn't remember that they had been talking the day before.
"Oh, right, bad memory. Yeah, I suppose it was actually my fault."
"Your fault?"
"Yeah, I kind of pushed you into remembering why you couldn't remember."
"Hm." she turned back to the sunset, watching the reds, golds, and oranges play across the sky.
"Hey, think you can teach me how to be cold like you? Bet Gramps would like to see me as cold as you."
"Simple. Have your greatest dream stolen from underneath you." she said before turning to walk away from the redhead.
"Wait . . ." he grabbed her arm "what do you mean by that? and I thought you couldn't remember anything."
Circe paused, closing her eyes for a moment.
"Before the injury, the only thing I remember from back then, they told me I would be the next apprentice. Then I was hit in the head. Next thing I know I can't remember anything, so I couldn't be his apprentice. It was my greatest dream."
"And then I . . ." he looked guilty.
"Yes, you. With your clown colored hair and goofy attitude. You went and took my dream away! I hate you!" she yelled, then ran down the hill.
"Hey, wait just one minute!" he chased her down, taking hold of her arm again.
Turning, the blonde slapped him. "Let go of me!"
"I didn't make that branch fall on you. How can you say it's my fault you can't remember now?"
"I wasn't even awake yet when I was replaced! they didn't even know I was going to end up the way I did, but they replaced me anyways!"
"So you're going to blame me for that too?"
"Who else do I have to blame? Let GO!" she shoved at him.
"What if it had been your best friend that replaced you and not me? would you hate them too?"
"I didn't have friends, I didn't need them! I was going to be the next Bookman, why would I need them? They'd just get in the way!" she continued struggling against him.
This reminded the redhead of the friends he'd had to leave behind, from his life as 'Lavi'. Even though he hadn't meant to get close to them, he had, and now he missed them. But the way she was talking sounded to him as though they were worthless.
"None of my friends have ever been in the way! They were far more help than hindrance!"
"Che! You haven't got what it takes to be the next Bookman either! You went and became partial! How can you even think you're better than I for the job?" she yelled.
"I don't think I'm better than you! I don't think I'm better than anyone!"
"I don't believe that for one second. You're going to become the next great source for secret knowledge in the world, and you don't think that makes you better than someone? Even I succumbed to that belief! How many times did your so-called friends tell you that you got cold all of a sudden after Bookman chewed you out for being so goddamn partial? Get off your high horse that you don't even know you're on! You think you can just go back to those friends once you're Bookman? Think again! By that time, you'll be colder than even me, if you make it that far!"
"You don't even know them!"
"You think you do? Really? You think they don't keep their secrets from you?"
"I know they have their secrets, but I don't need to know the secrets to know them! They're good people!"
"All humans are morons! All they do is fight! Why would you want to be around that by choice?"
"They never asked to fight!"
"But did it stop them? they're just humans!"
"Don't talk about them that way!"
"Why do you care so much? They're a name on a page, a chapter in a book! You go through it, go on to the next book, and forget all about them! Well, maybe not you, with your photographic memory, but don't you think you're overreacting a bit for the guy who's supposed to be the next Bookman?"
"Shut up!"
"You're the one that chased after ME! You're the one holding me here! If you want me to shut up so bad, why don't you just hit me? I'm just another name on the page anyways! I shouldn't mean anything to you!"
"I won't hit you."
"Hit me! Damnit, you stole my dream from me, you're living the life I've wanted ever since birth, you can do this too! If you don't, I'll just keep reminding you of how useless your friends are! How stupid they are for fighting! How they're just moronic humans like the rest of the world!"
"They're not moronic!"
"They're human aren't they? They fight don't they? Therefore they're stupid!"
"Shut up!"
"Then shut me up already! Make me stop talking! You want me to stop, then make me already!"
"Damnit!" the redhead yelled just before hitting her in the back of the head.
Blue eyes shot open as she fell forward. Images flooded her mind, not just of the day she lost her memory, but of everything that had happened to her.
"Oh . . ." she whispered before losing consciousness.
Eyes fluttering open, she saw not only Akari there, but Bookman as well.
"Thank you, Circe. It was a lesson well learned for my idiot apprentice."
"I was supposed to be that apprentice." she mumbled.
"What happened was unfortunate, but we couldn't wait for you wake. We had no idea when you would, and I won't be around forever."
"I just wanted to be able to help. And now, I've made your apprentice do something that he most likely wouldn't want to do. I feel terrible about that."
"You did help, and yes, he's not the type to hit women, but he needed the harsh reminder. Lately I believe he tunes me out when I tell him to forget those exorcists."
"Such a misbalanced tradeoff . . . he gets a valuable, if painful lesson, and I get my memories back."
"That is how the world works, Circe. You get used to it after so many decades." the short, older man said as he got up and left the room.
Getting up, she looked out the window to see them walking off to another mindless war.
"Thanks for my memories, moron. You're just as stupid as those humans you call friends, but at least you were decent enough to give me back that much, even if you walk away with my dream again." she grumbled, then turned away to go to her fields again.
A/N: Yaknow what? I don't wanna hear anything about how Lavi'd never hit a woman, MMkay? it was for the story, and she actually benefitted from it.