Thinking of You
Chapter 1
"What's wrong with you?" T'chala demanded as he pulled his shirt back on.
"I just- I cannot do it right now." I said as I buttoned my shirt back up.
T'chala and I were about to go hot and heavy, but every time that I'm about to have sex with him I see someone else's face. I don't want to make love to someone like that.
"It's been a month since we were married and we have not yet consummated it ONCE!" he shouted, his dark brown face tightening in anger. He got up and left.
I cannot understand why I cannot make love to him. He's everything that I want in a man, handsome, intelligent, but I also want rugged, muscled, handsome, tall, and animalistic, someone like Lo-
No I can't let my mind go there. I'm married to the king of Wakanda for the betterment of peace. That cannot be undone.
Besides Logan hasn't spoken to me since I got married. I guess after having a man in my life I didn't need him anymore and he didn't need me, besides I think he might be with someone. Good for him if he does, I hope she dies a slow terrible death by my hand, but good for him. Still, I want him every minute of every day.
I'm dreaming about her again. The litheness of her voice. That lean yet extremely curvy mocha body of hers. Her snow white hair and ice blue eyes. She's so beautiful and here she's all mine. I'm just holding her and we're in my room, but as soon as I open my eyes she's gone and I scream in anger. I wake up from the dream temporarily at ease. Then I remember that she really is gone. I'm in a never ending nightmare, not only that but I'm rock hard again. I always am when I think about her. Usually the only thing that will get rid of it is a cold shower, so I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. It takes 15 minutes for my cock to deflate.
I walk out of the bathroom; get a cigar and bite down hard. Damn my life is in shambles, my sex life is terrible. I can't deliver for any woman I get, nor do I really want to. All I can think about is Ororo.
Damn we haven't even been together and I feel like half of me is missing, and I feel like an even bigger punk for not getting over her. It kills me though that I haven't seen or spoken to her in a month, but every time I think about calling I see that bastard dick that married her. And I know that she's not happy because the weather had been terrible around the world.
It's raining in Wakanda, all I can think about is Logan and the life I could've had if I just told him how I felt. I long to be near him, hear his sarcasm, or just be enveloped in a bear hug of sun kissed steel.
T'chala walked into my library when he noticed it was raining.
I was sitting in my chair wallowing in my own misery. I felt really pathetic, but I couldn't help it. My eyes were completely white.
"I think I know what's wrong with you dear." He said.
I look up at him panicked. If he knew he would probably go and try to kill whoever it was that I was thinking about.
"You miss your father." He finished.
I began to breathe again. I did miss Charles though.
"Perhaps you should stay for a week or two, to get your spirits up." He said
The rain stopped. If I went back I could see them all, Charles, Jean, Rogue, Kitty… and even Logan.
The sun burst out and I sprang out of the chair.
"Oh T'chala do you mean it?" I said as I wrapped him in my arms.
"Of course." He said hugging me back and kissing me of top of my head.
"But you have to promise me that when you get back, we consummate our marriage." He said pulling back to look me in the face.
Well that put a pause in me, but still I nodded, maybe even seeing Logan will help me get over him. I rushed to my room and started to pack my bags. I called and told Charles to expect me home by tonight.
Everyone is in a commotion. Ororo's room old room is being prepared to live in. I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be, no, I'm just raving fucking mad. It's only been a month and they've found Ororo's replacement. I lock myself in my room like the child I was 300 years back. I don't want to see the tramp or bastard.
I'm at the mansion in 4 hours and its 10:00 at night, but everyone is there to greet me. I see Charles and tears roll down my cheek for my father figure.
"Hello my dear." He said with the same warm voice he always has.
"Dad." I have always called him dad, even when I was little.
I walk over and hug him tightly.
"I missed you." I said.
"I've missed you too." He said.
Then next thing I know I'm in the middle of a crowd being hugged to death. I knew that they missed me, but I didn't know they missed me this much. The only person I didn't see was Logan, my happiness dimmed a little.
"You must be tired; your room is made up for you." Charles said.
Scott came to get my bags and we walked to my room.
As soon as he dropped off the bags in my room he said "We all missed you here 'Ro."
"I missed you guys too."
He was about to leave when I couldn't help but ask "Where is Logan?"
"I think he's in his room."
"Oh well good night Scott."
"Night 'Ro." He said and he left.
I guess I can wait till morning.
I wake up early as always and make my way down the stairs to the kitchen. Oh my God. How in hell is it so sunny out today? She must be really happy in Wakanda. I go and fix myself a cup of black coffee. I remember where Scott keeps the beer and pour half of the bottle in the coffee. I downed it immediately and let the coffee burn the back of my throat. Someone giggled then behind me.
"Good morning Logan."
That voice. That sweet taunting voice. I turn around and see Ororo sitting on the counter with her slender legs crossed, her wavy locks tumbling down her back, and drinking tea out of a mug. How I didn't smell that lilac scent I don't know. I can usually smell everything. I guess I was really engrossed in myself. But still I'm stunned to see her sitting there. I think I'm dreaming again.
He looked really upset as he came down the stairs; I knew then he was very upset when he mixed the coffee with beer. What I giggled about was the fact that he downed the stuff in less than 5 seconds and the look on his face when it burned him.
"So how have you been?" I asked him as I set my cup down.
"Good. How about you." He said in a strained voice. I noticed he was wearing boxers and a black shirt that seemed to squeeze around his muscular arms.
"Great." I said.
We sat in awkward silence for awhile before he asked "When did you get here?"
"Last night."
"Why didn't you come say hello?" he said with a hint of anger.
"You were in your room."I said.
"You could've knocked."He said back now he was staring at me angrily.
"Well I didn't want to be rude and wake you up." I said defensively.
"You were being rude." He said.
"Well at least I said hello today." Getting pissed. How is he going to get mad at me? I've barely talked to him.
This is amazing. The first conversation we have in a month and we're arguing.
"Just forget it Logan." I said and jump off the counter and walk away. I didn't want to leave but I also didn't want to argue with him.
I watched her sway away with those perfect hips and even more perfect ass. Man I just want to stalk her down the hallway and bury myself inside of her. But I won't because I drove her away. I hope she sees it's for her own good. It was hard to keep the animal part of me in check, we both wanted her, but he wanted to ravage her roughly and savagely. I could never forgive myself if I got out of control with her, and neither could she. Still I cursed myself for a fool. I didn't want her to think I was upset with her, even though I was, just a little though. Still I felt like shit.