Title: S3219Damage Control (C: Damage) Author: ZenosParadox Rating: PG
Summary: RS. Reed and Sato discuss events in Damage. Coda for Damage, Episode 19, season 3. Notes: Mild spoilers for Damage, 3 pages. Written April 24, 2004. Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
DAMAGE CONTROL
Ensign Hoshi Sato entered her quarters and trudged wearily to the shower. Her intention was to wash away the ravages of the day as her own version of damage control.
Hoshi toweled off quickly and shrugged into a blue t-shirt and sweats. She looked in the mirror to assess the current damage. The smudges were gone, but the eyes still held a weary look. All of her barriers were down and she felt vulnerable.
Professor Hoshi Sato could present the perfect image of Miss Congeniality when she wanted. It was an excellent facade for appearing socially agile while in fact she was isolating herself to superficial exchanges. But on this ship, her barriers were failing. She looked in the mirror and put on her best fake smile, but it immediately crumbled.
Hoshi looked at the woman in the mirror and chided, "Serves you right for thinking you were ready to handle this mission."
She was surprised when the door chimed in response. The sound made her wince in irritation. Couldn't she just have some time alone to wallow in her misery? Who was the fiend outside her door disrupting her solitude? She crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest and glared at the woman in the mirror. Perhaps she could make the Person go away.
"Hoshi? Are you all right?" came the voice on the other side of the door.
The Ensign blew out a sigh as soon as she registered the accent of her intruder. She opened the door with a terse, "Lieutenant, what do you want?"
Malcolm recognized the brush off; it was a tone all too familiar to him where women were concerned. But this wasn't some disgruntled lover he was visiting, he told himself, this was Hoshi, and she needed a friend whether she realized it or not.
"I came to see how you were doing. Travis was worried about you," said Malcolm simply. She moved back slightly and he took it as his cue to enter as he added, "Travis was consoling the other biologists who worked with Elizabeth Cutler or he would have come, too."
Hoshi blinked as soon as Malcolm said her friend's name. She waved her arm toward her quarters and said, "Come join the pity party."
The two officers moved to sit on her bunk with their heads bowed. Hoshi glanced over to notice she had mirrored his posture as he leaned forward with his hands on his knees. She mumbled, "I'm doing it again."
Malcolm had a puzzled look on his face as he watched Hoshi scoot back in the bunk to lean her against the wall. "Are you questioning whether you belong on this mission again?"
"That, too," confirmed Hoshi. "How does it set with you, Malcolm? We committed--"
"The Captain ordered--"
"Is that how you're justifying it? Obedience to an authority figure, classic psychological excuses? We are his crew; we all carry the responsibility."
"Yes, and that's why we did what we could to minimize damage to the alien ship." Malcolm turned away from her.
"You didn't go with them," said Hoshi in a harsh voice. "Was that to ensure minimal damage to the alien ship?"
"I was needed on Enterprise," said Malcolm firmly.
"I heard you on the bridge. You wanted to target their weapons," she accused. She glared at the Lieutenant. Her emotions were finally coming to a boil and she was ready to lash out at the convenient target.
"Yes, and I would have if it became the only way to protect my own ship," said Malcolm firmly, but couldn't prevent rubbing his forehead. "We gave them trellium-D and 20% of our food stores." He gave a harsh laugh as he added, "Of course since we lost 20% of our crew, that's not much of a sacrifice, is it?"
Hoshi flinched at his remark and leaned forward, but when she opened her eyes she saw a man who was also struggling with the demands of the situation. She sighed and finally said, "I'm being a bitch, aren't I?"
He put his hand on her shoulder and said, "You're being human; we're all being human. I won't go so far to say what we did was right, but I truly believe it was necessary."
Hoshi turned to look at Malcolm again and put her own hand over the one on her shoulder. "Being a Cowboy doesn't suit you, does it?"
Malcolm found genuine amusement in her observation. With a light chuckle he said, "No, I'm no Cowboy, but I am beginning to feel like a Pirate. On this mission I have destroyed the ship of an ally, shot my own officer, mutinied against my Captain and marauded an innocent vessel."
Hoshi stood up abruptly and rubbed her hands against her arms. "But you never question that you belong on this mission."
Hoshi felt him rise to stand behind her before she continued. "Malcolm, I'm getting tired of you seeing me at my worst. Screaming like a frightened child, panicking in an alien ship, pissed off when I get frustrated."
"But I've also seen you at your best and it's your work that has kept us going, Hoshi. Whether it's tracking the chemosyte or finding Degra's message to us, you are essential to this mission." Malcolm swallowed as he added, "And I think it's good to have someone who can still question the ethics of our actions. That's what will keep us from becoming monsters in the Expanse."
Hoshi finally cracked a tiny smile. "So I'm the whiny voice of morality?"
"Just like I'm the wary voice of caution."
"We make quite a team, don't we?" she said as she leaned back against him. Malcolm immediately responded by wrapping his arms around her.
They stood there for a few minutes just reaping comfort from the silent moment, but it was that gentle touch that broke the last of her barriers. The tears started to stream down her cheeks and she turned to bury her face in his shoulder.
Malcolm said nothing, but merely rocked her gently as his mind repeated a silent prayer, "Thank God it isn't you I'm crying for."
The beep from the intercom brought them back to the moment as Travis' voice said, "Hoshi? Malcolm? Can you meet me in the observation lounge in 15 minutes? The available crew is going to be there and we need senior officers besides Phlox."
"We'll be there, Travis," confirmed Malcolm as he moved quickly to the intercom. Hoshi was still wiping her eyes. As he released the link, he said, "Come on, the crew needs the Senior officers to be strong."
Hoshi nodded and grabbed a fresh uniform. She was out of her bathroom 5 minutes later. No fake professional smile appeared, just the face of a woman who wanted to comfort her crew.
Ensign Sato stood tall and said, "Ready for damage control, Lieutenant."
The two officers walked side by side to see to their duty.
Author Notes: I struggled with whether this appeared out of character, but then, it is to fill in gaps. Given the tone of Hoshi's emotions during the episode, this is what I got.
Thanks for reading.
Summary: RS. Reed and Sato discuss events in Damage. Coda for Damage, Episode 19, season 3. Notes: Mild spoilers for Damage, 3 pages. Written April 24, 2004. Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.
DAMAGE CONTROL
Ensign Hoshi Sato entered her quarters and trudged wearily to the shower. Her intention was to wash away the ravages of the day as her own version of damage control.
Hoshi toweled off quickly and shrugged into a blue t-shirt and sweats. She looked in the mirror to assess the current damage. The smudges were gone, but the eyes still held a weary look. All of her barriers were down and she felt vulnerable.
Professor Hoshi Sato could present the perfect image of Miss Congeniality when she wanted. It was an excellent facade for appearing socially agile while in fact she was isolating herself to superficial exchanges. But on this ship, her barriers were failing. She looked in the mirror and put on her best fake smile, but it immediately crumbled.
Hoshi looked at the woman in the mirror and chided, "Serves you right for thinking you were ready to handle this mission."
She was surprised when the door chimed in response. The sound made her wince in irritation. Couldn't she just have some time alone to wallow in her misery? Who was the fiend outside her door disrupting her solitude? She crossed her arms stubbornly across her chest and glared at the woman in the mirror. Perhaps she could make the Person go away.
"Hoshi? Are you all right?" came the voice on the other side of the door.
The Ensign blew out a sigh as soon as she registered the accent of her intruder. She opened the door with a terse, "Lieutenant, what do you want?"
Malcolm recognized the brush off; it was a tone all too familiar to him where women were concerned. But this wasn't some disgruntled lover he was visiting, he told himself, this was Hoshi, and she needed a friend whether she realized it or not.
"I came to see how you were doing. Travis was worried about you," said Malcolm simply. She moved back slightly and he took it as his cue to enter as he added, "Travis was consoling the other biologists who worked with Elizabeth Cutler or he would have come, too."
Hoshi blinked as soon as Malcolm said her friend's name. She waved her arm toward her quarters and said, "Come join the pity party."
The two officers moved to sit on her bunk with their heads bowed. Hoshi glanced over to notice she had mirrored his posture as he leaned forward with his hands on his knees. She mumbled, "I'm doing it again."
Malcolm had a puzzled look on his face as he watched Hoshi scoot back in the bunk to lean her against the wall. "Are you questioning whether you belong on this mission again?"
"That, too," confirmed Hoshi. "How does it set with you, Malcolm? We committed--"
"The Captain ordered--"
"Is that how you're justifying it? Obedience to an authority figure, classic psychological excuses? We are his crew; we all carry the responsibility."
"Yes, and that's why we did what we could to minimize damage to the alien ship." Malcolm turned away from her.
"You didn't go with them," said Hoshi in a harsh voice. "Was that to ensure minimal damage to the alien ship?"
"I was needed on Enterprise," said Malcolm firmly.
"I heard you on the bridge. You wanted to target their weapons," she accused. She glared at the Lieutenant. Her emotions were finally coming to a boil and she was ready to lash out at the convenient target.
"Yes, and I would have if it became the only way to protect my own ship," said Malcolm firmly, but couldn't prevent rubbing his forehead. "We gave them trellium-D and 20% of our food stores." He gave a harsh laugh as he added, "Of course since we lost 20% of our crew, that's not much of a sacrifice, is it?"
Hoshi flinched at his remark and leaned forward, but when she opened her eyes she saw a man who was also struggling with the demands of the situation. She sighed and finally said, "I'm being a bitch, aren't I?"
He put his hand on her shoulder and said, "You're being human; we're all being human. I won't go so far to say what we did was right, but I truly believe it was necessary."
Hoshi turned to look at Malcolm again and put her own hand over the one on her shoulder. "Being a Cowboy doesn't suit you, does it?"
Malcolm found genuine amusement in her observation. With a light chuckle he said, "No, I'm no Cowboy, but I am beginning to feel like a Pirate. On this mission I have destroyed the ship of an ally, shot my own officer, mutinied against my Captain and marauded an innocent vessel."
Hoshi stood up abruptly and rubbed her hands against her arms. "But you never question that you belong on this mission."
Hoshi felt him rise to stand behind her before she continued. "Malcolm, I'm getting tired of you seeing me at my worst. Screaming like a frightened child, panicking in an alien ship, pissed off when I get frustrated."
"But I've also seen you at your best and it's your work that has kept us going, Hoshi. Whether it's tracking the chemosyte or finding Degra's message to us, you are essential to this mission." Malcolm swallowed as he added, "And I think it's good to have someone who can still question the ethics of our actions. That's what will keep us from becoming monsters in the Expanse."
Hoshi finally cracked a tiny smile. "So I'm the whiny voice of morality?"
"Just like I'm the wary voice of caution."
"We make quite a team, don't we?" she said as she leaned back against him. Malcolm immediately responded by wrapping his arms around her.
They stood there for a few minutes just reaping comfort from the silent moment, but it was that gentle touch that broke the last of her barriers. The tears started to stream down her cheeks and she turned to bury her face in his shoulder.
Malcolm said nothing, but merely rocked her gently as his mind repeated a silent prayer, "Thank God it isn't you I'm crying for."
The beep from the intercom brought them back to the moment as Travis' voice said, "Hoshi? Malcolm? Can you meet me in the observation lounge in 15 minutes? The available crew is going to be there and we need senior officers besides Phlox."
"We'll be there, Travis," confirmed Malcolm as he moved quickly to the intercom. Hoshi was still wiping her eyes. As he released the link, he said, "Come on, the crew needs the Senior officers to be strong."
Hoshi nodded and grabbed a fresh uniform. She was out of her bathroom 5 minutes later. No fake professional smile appeared, just the face of a woman who wanted to comfort her crew.
Ensign Sato stood tall and said, "Ready for damage control, Lieutenant."
The two officers walked side by side to see to their duty.
Author Notes: I struggled with whether this appeared out of character, but then, it is to fill in gaps. Given the tone of Hoshi's emotions during the episode, this is what I got.
Thanks for reading.