Hello~! I am not one to make any good of a greeting here, so let's just pretend you guys don't care who I am, and let's proceed to the disclaimer, okay? Okay.
Disclaimer: Pokemon is not mine. The characters are not mine. Even the lyrics are not mine. Special thanks to Ed Sheeran for his beautiful song to which this fic was inspired from. Keep on keeping on, Ed, my love TwT
Also, please forgive the OOCness. This is my first time writing for these two, but let it be known that I love this pairing with all my heart.
Please do enjoy :3
Autumn Leaves—
Another day. Another life.
The tears felt immensely heavy within his eyes. But if ever it was involuntary that they'd be released, then he believes that they have not accumulated enough.
No.
The tears have not yet fallen…
Passes by just like mine…
It wasn't very complicated. Life was just like that, no? An inevitable cycle…
We are born.
We grow.
We die.
Simple, uncomplicated stuff. He wonders why things have to be made so intricate, when they are all meant to be so undemanding.
We live to die. The main purpose of life is the end itself.
Simple.
I express my deepest condolences, Silver-san. I know how sad it is to have only been able to reunite with your father for but a short time, but it is better than to have not so, no?
It's not complicated.
At least now, he is in heaven… With your mother, hopefully…
It's not intricate.
I've expected as such. But, still, thank you for those dear words of falsehood. Thank you for your attempt.
E-eh?
Sorry to say, but it does not work on me…
B-But, Silver-san…
If you'll excuse me, Yellow… I'd like to go back to my quarters for a while…
O-of course…
It was all too fairly simple…
Another mind. Another soul.
She looked too stiff as he watched her from where he sat. He wondered if it was the effect of lack of sleep for how many days, or simply her own face of despair?
He was her only family, after all.
Another body to grow old.
His hands twitch at the warm drink in his hand, his fingers shuddering to tap her on the shoulder to bid farewell for the night.
He couldn't take the atmosphere. The mood.
The way everybody kept on telling her "it will all be okay" or "he's in a far better place now", or maybe "he'll always be with you" was unbearable—all of which she would reply with a kindly nod and a small whisper of "thank you" before she turns on her heel to face the others, the same mask of indifference embedded on her pale face.
A mask far more elusive than the ones he had worn in his days.
Far more elusive than anything he had seen.
"Are you comfortable, Silver-san?"
Which is why he grows even more impatient to leave that troublesome surrounding.
"As comfortable as I can be in a place like this, thank you very much for asking…"
She gave another of her frequenting frozen smiles.
"Ah, I'm sorry if this is boring for you, then…"
He looked down, escaping her wide, fair irises that stared at him with so much apathy. He was afraid that he might see the pain that's hidden from within.
At the corner of his eyes, he saw more people come, and like a systematized robot, she automatically turned on her heels and was getting ready to plaster that smile again for them.
"Although, I might forgive you if you sit here with me…" he suddenly blurted out. She must've been caught off-guard for she looked back at him with a short-lived confused stare before she conjured up another false beam.
"I'd love to, Silver-san," she replied. "But, I have to entertain the other guests, too…"
"They didn't come here for you, Yellow. Just let them approach you if they need you. This is a wake, not some weird birthday party…"
"Oh Silver-san… You say the funniest things, sometimes…" She started to turn around when he stood up and grabbed her by the wrist. She looked up at him, surprised.
"Stay," he ordered. Softly. Firmly.
She seemed hesitant before she gave out a small sigh, and gave in, taking a place beside him on the bench he'd been hogging since he came there. He watched her for a minute as she settled herself—if you call trying to stop yourself from standing up and greeting other guests as a way of "settling".
"Here," he suddenly blurted again, handing another cup of tea to her direction. "Have a taste of what you're trying to make the people here drink…"
She stared at the cup hesitatingly before taking it from his hands with a bow of gratefulness. Her hands lifted it to her lips, and as if on cue, her eyes widened, and before she knew it, she was coughing off her own version of "Viridian Tea".
"Horrible, isn't it?" Silver asked, resting one elbow at the backrest.
"E-Even I would believe so…" she coughed, trying hard to smile despite the filth that was trapped in her mouth. "Dear me… Why can't I make it as great as his? Or get it right, at least…"
He watched her wipe her mouth with a handkerchief before he gave a sigh.
"It's ugly…" he muttered.
"Eh?"
"That smile of yours," he pointed out, reaching out to wipe the remains of tea from her chin. "It's ugly…"
"Oh…" She smiled again, looking down apologetically. "That is quite unfortunate, then. I'm sor—"
"That's not what I meant, Yellow," he scowled, rolling his eyes. "If it was your usual, cheerful smile, I would've forgiven it and let it be… But what you're doing right now… That sad excuse for a smile that you're trying to show to everybody…" He gestured at her face, her apologetic smile still intact. "It's disgusting… Wipe it off…"
Yellow's face softened as she looked away, fixing her eyes on the ground.
"Do you hate it that much?"
"I despise it. Isn't it hard for you to strain yourself to smile even though I know for a fact that you want nothing more but to cry…?"
"Even as it is," she answered. "It's much harder not to smile. This is how I was trained to live, after all."
"Smiling like you're life depends on it; up to the point of sheer desperation?" He bobbed his head to the other direction in disgust. "Despicable…"
Yellow just good-naturedly sighed at her companion's impatience. She always found it adorable for some strange manner.
Her eyes lifted up to the open skies that enveloped them all, and found that the stars have begun to appear.
"The stars look lovely this part of the year, doesn't it?" she observed, opening a new topic.
Silver followed her gaze.
"Hm," was all he could say before setting his face down again.
Yellow journeyed her gaze around and found the naked branches that held only a few leaves.
They were getting fewer as the days pass by.
"Autumn seems to have passed by quite quickly," she muttered again. "If I'm not mistaken, it's been three months since your father's…"
"Death?" Silver suggested. Yellow smiled at him.
"I was going to say 'passing on', Silver-san."
"Same thing," Silver reasoned. "It's so simple… Why make things so complicated?"
"True…" she breathed, before looking up again. He watched her watching the skies, and somehow felt guilty. He was the one who invited her to sit next to him, and here he was implicating that he needs not her presence.
He was about to open his mouth to open up another conversation when she looked down again, and sighed.
"Silver-san? How does death work?"
He found himself smirking at her question.
"I don't know. The same way autumn works, I guess?"
"A-autumn…?"
He looked up and made her do the same thing.
"See that leaf over there?" he asked, pointing up. "Like the rest of its kind, it once sprouted as one of the greenest, most versatile of it all during the first days of spring. Then comes summer, and it begins to feel that its life is beginning to fade in a slow manner. And then…" He picked up a pebble and threw it at the tree's body, making it shake, letting some leaves fall off, including that very particular one they had their eyes on. It floated gently, landing safely on Yellow's open palm.
"Autumn comes to force it to fall…" He snatched it from Yellow's hand and examined it between his eyes. "That's the life cycle, Yellow. We are made. We age. And when that time comes…" He held it near his lips and blew, making it glide off with the passing breeze. "…We die, like the rest. It's the simplest way of explaining things that most people believe as complicated.
"You don't explain death," he continued. "You simply understand it. You don't question it. You simply accept it. You don't avoid it. You simply expect it. It is as inevitable as it will ever get. Nothing will change."
"But, still… why?" Yellow asked. He faced her, narrowing his eyes at her.
"Like I said, Yellow… There is no reason. It just happens as it is…" He looked up momentarily. "Why do you think do the leaves fall during autumn, huh?" It was supposed to be a rhetorical question, but if there was anything Yellow was, it's being "keen".
She smiled. A chaste one, to his surprise.
"So that they wouldn't have to face the harsh times of winter…"
It wasn't supposed to be complicated.
I best be going now, Yellow. Again, my condolences…
…Hey, Silver-san?
Yes?
Why must she go out and confuse herself with those stupid lies?
What would you do if… or maybe when the first set of snow drops?
We're in the Kanto Region, Yellow. It hasn't snowed here since goodness-knows-when.
It might…
Please don't get your hopes up…
Okay then. How about I rephrase it?
Foolish, foolish being. When will she learn?
What will you do when autumn leaves, Silver-san?
It was a rather challenging question. What will he do as soon as winter kicks in? It will be cold, as he had experienced during his years in the wild with Blue. But he was never really the one to care for it since he had her to make ways to make the cold go away.
His life was practically the easy one since she was there.
But now that she's out there living a life for her own, and he was here, forcing himself never to take that life away from her, he was left with nothing to do but perish. His father was gone, and he had nobody else to go to anymore.
For the first time, he didn't know what to do.
He remembered how her bright eyes began to lose light as she waited for his answer, and he knew why.
Her uncle, her only family, is now gone. Obviously, she used to spend the winter days with him or whatever which is why she was left confused as well.
For the first time, she had nothing else to do but wallow.
Silver-san?
Perhaps… I'd just come and visit you.
Her real smile was pretty.
Really?
I'm not left with much choice, Yellow. You're the only person I know here…
Another tear. Another cry.
Her smile was frozen. It was ugly. It was disgusting. It was despicable.
It was fake.
And he hated how much easier it was for her to just act like that. It was unbecoming of someone of her standards.
Oh? That is quite unfortunate then…
Since when had she learned to be like that?
Silver-san?
He felt the first drop of snow on his forehead as he was looking up. He lifted his hand and touched, its cold features running around the thin material of his gloves.
What would you do if… or maybe when the first set of snow drops?
Another place for us to die.
The process would've been simple. It would just take one pull—one tap, if he were to be honest—and it would've ended it all. The pain, the misery, the agony—all the feelings altogether.
It was all so simple, after all.
It's not complicated.
I'd just come visit you… You are the only one I know here…
But he made a promise to her, and for him, it was the only function he had in this world: keeping promises.
With a small sigh, he put the weapon down, slowly running his trembling fingers at the intricate designs that made it as it is. He didn't stop until his fingers reached the trigger, and when he felt that he could trace its perfect, dangerous curve, he felt another sickening feeling riling up his throat, and immediately, he pulled open his drawer, slammed the gun in there, and quickly shut it in before his own depression got the best out of him.
He wondered how many times he has gone through this cycle.
A cold wind suddenly blew from the window just next to him, and he looked out. His heart made a small leap.
It was beginning to snow.
Another life that's gone to waste
The small agonized look in his eyes began to slowly fade away.
Another life lost from your face
It has been weeks since he last saw her, and that was the day of her uncle's burial. He remembered how still her face was as they lowered the coffin down. Several bodies mingled about her—Blue included—trying to softly "soothe her pain away" by providing empty words of comfort, like how they have done for him when it was his father who was being lowered into the dirt.
Now that it was finally her turn to stand in his place, and he to hers, he realized that not much has changed. He still thought everything was futile, and his opinion on life never changed.
And her smile was still a fake one.
He wondered how she was. Three weeks might not be enough as a period of recovery—that he was certain, but then he realized that, unlike him, she had everybody else; people who are willing to run their hands against her back and tell her that everything will be just fine, even when they are not.
Again, he began wondering if there was anything to it. If ever people do get anything from overcomplicating such simple concepts when it wouldn't matter at all.
People die. Easy as that.
So that they wouldn't have to face the harsh times of winter…
It's not complicated.
"Yellow?" He knocked softly, afraid that the girl might still be asleep, realizing a little too late that it was too early. But knowing a girl like her, she was probably out and about the town, doing whatever girls like her do.
He secretly wondered if her real smile has returned.
"Yellow?" He knocked a little louder. Still no reply.
Normally, he would have taken this all as a sign that she wasn't there anymore (moved in with other relatives perhaps?) or, if she was, then she was not in the condition to face anyone. Besides, their lives were never each other's businesses, so who's to say that she would expect someone who's only a few rungs more advanced than a stranger such as he to keep an ill-brained promise such as the one he gave?
He was ready to turn around and walk away with a shrug, but something inside him spurred, and before he knew it, he twisted back and gave the locked door one heavy kick, sending it to pry open easily.
And there he saw her lying peacefully on the ground, a small, empty bottle sitting innocently in her small hand.
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
The tears felt immensely heavy within his eyes. But if ever it was involuntary that they'd be released, then he believes that they have not accumulated enough.
No.
The tears have not yet fallen…
Float down like autumn leaves
It wasn't very complicated. Life was just like that, no? An inevitable cycle…
We are born.
We grow.
We die.
Simple, uncomplicated stuff. He wonders why things have to be made so intricate, when they are all meant to be so undemanding.
We live to die. The main purpose of life is the end itself.
Simple.
Hush now, close your eyes before the sleep
He was well aware of the "how" of this whole dying business, but never did he have the chance to understand the "why".
Why?
She seemed at peace when he last saw her; she seemed to have understood... At least compared to him, she seemed to have had a better grasp on reality and a more balanced view of it.
So why?
Why would she end her life like this? He couldn't understand.
He couldn't tell himself anything to appease his confused heart.
Why...?
And you're miles away
He couldn't tell himself that everything was going to be okay.
He couldn't tell himself that it was only natural.
He couldn't tell himself that he should have expected it.
He couldn't tell himself that it was inevitable.
He couldn't tell himself that it was just that simple.
And yesterday...
It was complicated.
...you were here with me.
-FIN-
Too abrupt? Sorry. I was just trying to stay with the whole death theme, where everything ends in an abrupt manner and LOL, me and my weird ideas.
Anywho, thank you very much for providing the time to reading this! I appreciate it very much, and I'd appreciate it more if you review :D
Have a nice day~!