Hello everyone! Wie gehts? (Anyone who knows what that means gets a cookie) For all my Akatsuki fans, I have exactly what you're looking for, an Akatsuki college fic. I mist say, this story entertains me so.
P.S. The actual title is My Life as a College Whore, but I didn't that I could put that as the title so I switched it to harlot.
Summary: Deidara is just starting college. What was supposed to be a normal experience turns out to be something completely different: two men and a twisted love food web.
My Life as a College Whore
There are four main points in the education timeline. First was entering school, and then moving on to middle school, then high school and lastly, college. That what Deidara thought anyways, and he was actually at the last stage.
"This is the moment I've been waiting for, un," Deidara said to himself as he walked through the hallways of his dorm. The artist found his room and entered.
He was surprised to see his roommate was already there. The man had on a swirly orange mask and thick clothes despite the nice autumn weather outside. His roommate looked at him, at least Deidara assumed, and bounced over to the blonde. "Hi I'm Tobi! Are you my roommate? What's your name?" he asked excitedly.
"Yeah, hi. My name's Deidara, un," Deidara said, "Nice to meet you…um, why are you wearing a mask, un?"
"What mask?" Tobi asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"Uh…never mind," Deidara said, not wanting to rain on his roommate's parade or anything.
"Hey, I'm going to meet my friends now! Do you want to come?" Tobi asked happily.
Deidara thought about it for a second. He had to unpack, but it would e foolish to miss out on the opportunity to meet new people. "Ok sure, un," Deidara said.
"Great!" Tobi said and grabbed Deidara's hand to drag him to the cafeteria, "Let's go!"
-Break-
Tobi had never slowed down or let go of Deidara the whole way to the cafeteria. By the time they got there Deidara knew his hair was a mess. Tobi let go of him when they reached a table with nine other people.
"Zetsu-san!" Tobi yelled, mauling a black/white man.
"Hello Tobi, get off me," he said. (A/N The white side is normal, the black side is bold. They each have different attitudes.)
"Who this?" one of them asked, eyeing Deidara. He had short, orange hair and a lot of piercings.
"This is my roommate, Deidara," Tobi said, still clinging to the one called Zetsu.
"Nice to meet you Deidara. Here, I'll introduce you to everyone," the orange haired one said helpfully, "I'm Pein, this is my girlfriend, Konan," Pein said, pointing out a blue haired women, making an origami swan, "This is Itachi Uchiha, we call him Itchy for short," Itachi eyed Deidara with a smirk and adjusted his small, stylish glasses. "This is Kisame," Pein continued, gesturing to the fish like man who nodded in greeting. "This is Hidan, he swears a lot," Pein said, just as the silver haired man yelled out a few profanities. "Next is Hidan's boyfriend, Kakuzu," Kakuzu was counting money, occasionally rolling his eyes at his spastic boyfriend. "You already know Tobi, but here's a tip. He lived in his own little world so it's best to let him do his thing. Then we have Zetsu, Tobi claims he's Zetsu's boyfriend, but that hasn't been confirmed. Oh yeah, and he's bipolar," Zetsu waved to Deidara with one hand and flipped him off with the other. "Then we have Sasori, he's our art major," Pein said pointing out the red haired man. Deidara already liked him best, he was gorgeous and he liked art (un)! Sasori gave Deidara and uninterested look and the blonde blushed. "Oh and last, Sasori's boyfriend, Orochimaru," Pein finished (eek). Deidara felt disappointment well up inside him when he heard that. "One last thing, everyone except Konan and I are gay. I hope that's not a problem," Pein said.
"Oh no, I'm gay too," Deidara said, surprised at how easily he could say it, "So I can hang out with you guys?"
"Sure, take a seat wherever," Pein said, returning to his seat next to Konan.
Deidara, of course, decided to sit next to Sasori, which was also next to Itachi and across from Kisame.
"What's your major Deidara?" Kisame asked him and Itachi also focused on him.
Deidara glanced at Sasori before responding, "Art, minor in engineering, un," he said.
Sasori heard and perked up, switching his attention to Deidara, "Really? What kind?" he asked.
"Sculpture, un," Deidara replied, glad that Sasori was paying attention to him.
"That's interesting. I draw, but I also enjoy puppetry. There's no classes for that though," Sasori said.
"Oh that's cool, un," Deidara said with a smile. He wanted to continue talking, but Sasori was dragged away by Orochimaru, saying that they had to go.
"See ya guys, we should talk about art sometime Deidara," Sasori said and Deidara nodded.
The two left, but not before Deidara caught Orochimaru eyeing Itachi. The Uchiha scoffed after he left and Deidara looked at him questioningly.
Itachi smirked at Deidara's look, "Orochimaru asked me out and I rejected him. He's still mad about it," Itachi explained, "You ever have a boyfriend blondie?"
Blondie? "Oh…no, un," Deidara said, Itachi was kind of intimidating (A/N Kind of?).
"That's surprising," Itachi remarked, running a long finger along Deidara's jaw, causing the blonde to blush.
"What the fucking hell Itachi?" Hidan yelled, catching Itachi's action, "Quit fucking with Deidara you damn whore! You'll fucking scare him away like the last few people dammit!"
"If the swearing doesn't do it first," Kakuzu said, rolling his eyes.
Itachi scowled, but retracted him hand. Deidara was still red as a tomato.
"Fuck off Hidan; I can do whatever I want," Itachi said, "Unless you want me to stop Deidara…" Itachi added, looking at the blonde intensely.
"Hold on Mr. Psychology Major. You're just messing with his mind so he won't say anything," Kisame said with a shark-like smile.
Itachi raised an eyebrow and lowered his glasses to the tip of his nose, "Am I Kisame?" he asked.
"You're trying to do it right now, but I know you to well to fall for that old trick," Kisame said to Itachi, then turned to Deidara, "Itachi likes to mess with people, sorry about that."
"Oh, its ok, un," Deidara said nervously, "It was nice meeting you all, but I really need to go unpack." He got up to leave and so did Itachi.
"I'll go with you," he said.
"O-ok," Deidara said, still nervous, "See you guys, un."
"Yeah, see ya later," Itachi said.
Everyone gave them some form of goodbye and the two exited the cafeteria.
"Where's your room?" Itachi asked Deidara as they went outside and were greeted by a cool autumn breeze.
"Building C, un," Deidara said, his fear of Itachi fading a little.
"Me too," Itachi said. It was silent as they walked there until Itachi said, "You like Sasori."
"W-what? How would you know, un?" Deidara asked surprised.
"I'm good with these sort of things," Itachi replied, "Too bad or you he has a boyfriend."
"Thanks for the sympathy," Deidara said sarcastically.
They reached their dorm and Deidara entered, only to have Itachi push him up against the wall next to the front door.
"Sarcastic too? And I thought you were just a pretty face…and a sexy body," he said, smirking. Itachi slowly moved him hand up to Deidara's neck and felt his pulse, looking quite satisfied when he felt how fast it was. "See ya Dei," he said and left.
-Break-
After the episode with Itachi, Deidara unpacked and set up his room the way he liked it. Then he decided to take a walk around campus, it was a nice day and he needed to clear his head from the Itachi thing. Who should he happen to find but Sasori, sketching on a bench.
"Hi Sasori, un." Deidara said happily, going to sit next to him.
"Oh, hi…Deidara right?" he asked.
"That's right, un. What are you doing?" Deidara asked, eyeing Sasori's sketchbook.
"Just sketching, autumn scenes are fun to draw," he said.
"Oh…I had a question. Could you tell me anything about Itachi, un?" Deidara asked, hoping to find out about his behavior.
"That depends on what you want to know," Sasori answered.
"Does he…come on to a lot of people?" Deidara asked.
Sasori scoffed at that, "He doesn't really mean to 'come on' to anybody. He just likes to make people squirm, usually by seducing them with his good looks. I kind of think he's a psychopath, but he's very good at reading and controlling people," Sasori said, like it was completely normal.
"Oh, that's interesting, un," Deidara said, surprised and creeped out at the same time.
"Yeah but only to new people or anyone he doesn't know. In a week or so he'll get used to you and start acting like the usual Itchy," Sasori assured.
"Thanks Sasori," Deidara said, "That's good to know, un."
I love writing Hidan and Kakuzu. Just thought I'd say that. Anyways, I hope you liked the first chapter! See you next time. Please review, they make me happy.