For our sister who asked us (me and breadsticks) to write a story with a prompt of Rukia, unrequited love, het, and whatever guy. (leaving us with a warning that if it was Ichigo, then it shouldn't be unrequited love...)
Just so you know, breadsticks finds it hard to write het and I find it hard to write anything Bleach, despite its vast potential for fanfiction.
Here you go:
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I shall light a fire upon the fang that falls short, so that I needn't see that star...So that it shall not tear this throat of mine.
-Renji Abarai, A Star and the Stray Dog
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The story never seems done.
They could have been a picture. Rukia and Ichigo standing in front of one another. Saying goodbye. Aizen already defeated. Ichigo having lost his powers. With the prospect of never seeing Rukia. And Rukia facing the prospect of always seeing but never being able to reach Ichigo.
They faced one another, where the space between could not seem to be breached, and yet, they were...a picture. A picture that had so much to say in what they weren't saying to each other. Of how much it promised that their story wasn't done yet, of how they would never be completely done with one another. And of course, it hurts. It hurts even now.
Renji Abarai has always felt that his story with Rukia was the story that almost happened, but never quite did. His story with Rukia was the story of love awakening in a golden afternoon as he watched yellow chrysanthemum petals swirl around her bare legs. He was so young, but even then, he understood that he was seeing something special, that while other stray dogs looked at the moon, what he had found was the light of the star.
And his story was the story that almost happened, but never quite did. Of how he runs into her quarters and find that another man has taken her as family. And that he could not claim that anymore. Of how he could not reach her, even as she runs and she weeps.
Foolhardy youth that he was, it had seemed to him then that beating Byakuya Kuchiki-the one who stole her away-would be the only way to regain her, the same way little children believe that pulling up the covers around your head will push away all that you fear in the night. He didn't count on the universe keeping his story as the story that almost happened, but never quite did. When he was finally one step closer to his goal of reaching her, when he had received his promotion as Vice Captain in the Sixth Division, he decided to wait for her return to tell her about his promotion, to wait until it was official, but really it was to say what he had never been able to say. Maybe he would have told her the story of a stray dog reaching for the stars.
Of course, instead of a reunion where he finally reaches her, he comes to arrest her instead. And find that she has given her powers-her powers!-to someone who looked like her old Vice Captain. She gave her powers to someone who looked like her only comfort in the years that she felt alone. And once again, it was the story that almost happened, but never quite did.
Renji breathes and he focuses on now. Even without sensing Ichigo's spiritual power fading, he can tell when the exact moment is that Ichigo could not see Rukia anymore.
Both Rukia's and Ichigo's eyes...ah, well he was never very good with words.
But it hurt. It sure did hurt, watching the expression in Rukia's or Ichigo's eyes as that gap, that space between the two of them became complete.
Rukia walks back to him and kicks him in the shin.
"Oww," he said, looming over her, "What was that for?"
"Why didn't you say goodbye?" She retorts, gesturing at the humans behind her.
And he becomes quiet, watching her. He can't help it. He is sad, as she is sad. Because even if he cannot reach her, he knows her. Knows her, the way that he knows what she means when she draws to explain things. Or even knows what she means when she has no more words, no more explanations to give. Or even when she cannot understand herself, anymore
She punches him in the arm. "What's this? Should there be music in the background?"
He shakes his head. "I didn't understand that at all, but I'm assuming it's a human thing. We should go, Rukia."
He opens a Senkaimon and starts to step through it-
"Aren't you..."
He looks back and Rukia is looking at him, her eyes...He draws a sharp intake of breath.
He never really believed that he could justify comparing her to a star. Rukia's eyes, you could find an infinite number of stars in her eyes. You drowned in them.
And he does something that he knows will not reach her as anything but the action of a friend. He walks to her and puts his arms around her. And he feels her own small, light, and strong hands creeping around his broad back.
At least, he is granted this. At least, even if he is not the main character in the story; even if his is the story that almost, but did not quite happen, he has a place by her. He can put his arms around her, even as a friend, and he can feel her warmth, and he can give her comfort.
And traitorous pathetic heart of a stray dog. He is happy giving her comfort. He is happy drowning in her eyes. He is happy watching chysanthemum petals swirl around her bare legs in water. He is happy to have her near and not have her. He is happy to howl at the night sky, where a bright star shines.
He lets go and she smiles up at him. Together, they walk through the gate. And it closes behind them. The end of one story.
But of course, it's never really done.
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THE END OF THE ALMOST, BUT NOT-QUITE, STORY