Metatron has been referred to as the "Umbridge" of the Supernatural fandom. But what if Umbridge was the Metatron of Harry Potter? (I know that doesn't make any sense just bear with my okay?)

Please Read & Review.

Metatron was normally content to stay out of things. He didn't meddle in the affairs of humans. The previous scribe of God would just read his stories instead of creating his own. But once, during his period of isolation he came across a story he just couldn't resist. The story of Harry Potter.

Once, years ago, an owl had mistakenly delivered its package to Metatron. Before shooing away the misguided creature or smiting it on the spot, he noticed the paper attached to its leg. It was a newspaper. Always ready for something new to read he decided to check it out, after all, what kind of thing is delivered by bird in this age. He realized, when he unfurled the page, that it was simply a human newspaper. Unlike the great novels of old, newspaper were a dull unreliable form of information. Humans were so happy to fight, so quick to turn on each other that the only thing the biased papers gave to Metatron was amusement. The extent of human stupidity was often underestimated.

This paper, however, was different. The Daily Prophet, while it still had the argumentive side of news he normally saw (even more so than usual actually) was not a typical paper. The blatantly obvious difference was the pictures. The black-and-white photographs were moving inside the frame instead of frozen in time like most pictures. Metatron may not have been up to date with the new world but he knew humans did not have this kind of magic at hand for common things such as newspapers. The impossible photography was what drew the book-loving angel in, but it was not the pictures that captured his interest entirely. It was the title "You-Know-Who, vanquished?"

Metatron did not "know who" but it intergruged him. So he decided to read.

When Metatron was finished reading he sat back, thinking hard. He had forgotten about wizards. This "dark lord" had apparently been terrorizing the world. Killing people he deemed unworthy and electing the perfect followers to continue on. This didn't bother Metatron, in fact, it reminded him of the archangels in a way. He wondered how those jerks were nowadays.

Then, this baby, Harry Potter had defeated him. Somehow, the child had killed a villain no one could touch before. Young Mr. Potter was the text-book definition of a hero. Metatron put the paper down and looked over at the owl that had brought it to him.

"Now this" he proclaimed, stroking the owl soft feathers in a gentle way only another being with wings could understand, "Is a story worth reading."

Years past and the story of Harry Potter keep on growing. Metatron had the owl bring him the newspaper regularly, mostly the paper was filled with boring articles such as the proper cauldron thickness or the national gobbstones competition. But occasionally, a new piece of the story of Harry Potter was added. Metatron found more information on this "Dark Lord" Potter had defeated. There were not many things written about him, the wizarding communities were too frightened of the man to even say his name, even the phrase He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was treated as taboo and rarely spoken of which Metatron found irritating, but at some level felt respect for You-Know-Who, whomever this individual may be. The power of words was a force Metatron greatly admired and for someone to be able to infuse their own name with such a cognate, well color him impressed.

The name Harry Potter, however, had no such limit. It was used often, to point of overuse. When Harry headed off to the English Wizarding School, Hogwarts, his face was plastered on the front page. It didn't help matters when the child was so involved in the scandals and adventures of the wizarding world. In his first year, he had become a part of a scheme which included the Philosophers stone. The exact details of what happened had never been known but Metatron was glad to hear that the stone was destroyed. Powers like immortality were not for humans to have.

In Harry Potters second year, students were being attacked by a monster. When hearing the symptoms of its victim Metatron quickly identified the being as a Basilisk and was surprised no wizard had figured it out yet. Human stupidity strikes again. Metatron was not surprised to hear that the hero who saved the day was none other, then mister Harry James Potter.

Harry Potter's school life followed this adventurous path through the years. In his third year, Potter had become involved with an odd criminal encounter. Sirius Black, the escaped mass-murderer apparently went to attack the boy at school. He failed but Metatron noted the strong loyalty of the Death Eater to his master, Metatron always respected loyalty among the ranks of heaven. Black managed to escape and there had been no news of him ever since.

But it was at the end of his fourth year that Harry Potters life took a turn. After Harry won the dangerous Triwizard tournament, bringing back the dead body of his fellow contestant and a big tale the news exploded on him. Once loving fans calling him estranged and dangerous. Turning him from a child hero to an insane teenager whose word was not to be trusted. And all because he told the world, Lord Voldemort (Metatron was finally able to learn that wretched name) had returned.

Metatron had been watching this story for years, watching it grow, watching it become something great. And finally it was what he was waiting for, the great plot twist.

Maybe this is how I should let it end. Meatron thought the idea over, the broken hero. The rising villain. The stage was all set. Metatron just wanted to watch it go.

For the first time in a very long while Metatron spread his wings. He needed to go shopping for a new vessel and he knew just who he needed to use.

"Dolores Jane Umbridge, will you be my vessel?"

And there you have it, just a joke that turned into something bigger. I just needed to get this plot bunny out of my head.