Title: A thin line
Author: Miarae
Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will, unless I wake up in an alternate universe.
Summary: There's a thin line between love and hate. That's something Lane and Jess know all about.
A/N: Okay...so it's almost midnight and I was in my bed and I couldn't get the stupid sentence "there's a thin line between love and hate" out of my head. So what's the best way to deal with it? Write a story ofcourse! Hope you all like it!
[LANE'S POV]
Jess Mariano. I don't know if I would have hated him if he hadn't dated Rory. I would probably have turned my back on him, and never thought twice about him again. But he had to take her away from me. My best friend. My soulmate. The girl I love.
Mama would kill me if she found out. Her daughter, who was supposed to be marrying a Korean doctor, turning out to be a lesbian. A lesbian with a big crush on her best friend even. If mama knew she would never let me see her again. So I keep quiet. I do everything mama tells me to. I even really pray during dinner. Just to see her face. See her bouncing up and down my bed telling me about something sweet Jess did. I'd do anything just to have her close. To be able to do her make-up. To listen to her rambling while getting all dizzy from her sweet scent. Sometimes it's so hard not to push her down on my bed and wet her lips with my tongue. To hold her still and admire her beauty before leaning in for a mindblowing kiss.
But I'm losing focus here. We were talking about Jess. So...you're probably wondering why I even waste one thought on him, right? I mean...Jess...evil bad guy who stole the girl I secretly crush on? The one who broke her heart so bad that I would love to slowly kill him? Well...something happened last night I never expected to happen...
[JESS'S POV]
Lane Kim. I hate her for so many reasons. She gets to be around Rory. She gets the phonecalls and letters that I should have gotten. Sure...so I left. But I came back, didn't I? I guess she didn't need me anymore. She's at Yale, making new friends, meeting new people. The only reason she comes back here occasionally is for her mom and Lane. Her best friend. She person she confides in now, like one time she confided in me.
God I hate her.
And after last night I hate her even more.
[LAST NIGHT]
Lane Kim walked around at a party, looking for people she knew. She had a beer in one hand, even though she didn't like the taste, and bobbed her head to the music. At least there was a good band. She didn't think she would have made it through five minutes without the music. Basically, the party just sucked.
She bumped into someone and was about to apologize when she saw the dark stormy eyes that belonged to none other than Jess Mariano. His brown hair was put up in spikes and he wore his Metallica t-shirt. He had good taste, she had to give him that. Unfortunately his good taste spread further than just music.
"Mariano"
She acknowledged him.
"Lane"
"Rory's not here"
She don't know why she blurted that out. Probably to see that look on his face. The one that clearly showed that it hurt that Rory wasn't there. Maybe because she wanted him to suffer for breaking Rory's heart. And maybe just a little because she was jealous of him. He had gotten to kiss those soft pink lips. He had gotten to gaze in her beautiful baby blue eyes. He had gotten to hold her while she was crying. Lane Kim was no longer needed. She was cast aside like a toy. Waiting patiently for Rory to come back. And she had come back. Every time Jess made her cry. So in a way she was thankful for him. But mostly she just hated him.
"I know"
"Rory never wants to see you anymore"
Yes. She loved these little hurtful comments. He would just flinch for a second and it already made her day...or night...as it was currently.
She played out her final card.
"She never loved you"
Jess grabbed her shoulder and roughly pushed her into the nearest wall. His breath smelled of cigarettes and beer, something that smelled surprisingly good to her right now.
"Neither did she love you Lane"
Now it was Lane's time to flinch. Did he know? Could he know? How? Had she ever done something to reveal her feelings? Had she looked at Rory a second too long? Had she lingered in a hug, cursing the butterflies and loving them at the same time?
"She isn't here...is she? She wasn't here when you broke up with Dave...she didn't even come when you were fighting with your mom...she doesn't care about you Lane...you don't matter to her anymore"
One second they looked at eachother with hatred, and the next they were making out furiously on some couch. They both knew it was true. Rory Gilmore had moved on. They were both thrown aside. Useless. They were both toys waiting to be picked up again, but forever forgotten. The hurtful comments thrown at eachother tonight had in reality been fears they had themselves. Fear of not being good enough. Not being worthy. Fear of becoming nonexistent now that Rory Gilmore had focused her gaze on the future. Fear that they would be past, no longer even present.
There was no love in their kisses. Not even lust. It was just rough animal sex. Two people trying to convince themselves that they were indeed still alive. Two people that both cried out one name when they came. The name of a girl that didn't even care. And both people knew that they would still feel crappy the next morning. They knew that whatever they did, it wouldn't bring her back. It wouldn't help.
A/N: Okay...did this suck? I got the feeling it did...
Review please!