Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and so on and so forth.
It was never always fluffy and happy with Lily and James. We all know that. Why should that day have been any different?
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The sun was low in the sky over the small town of Godric's Hollow and the wind rustled through the trees, plucking the auburn leaves from their branches, sending them spiralling madly through the sky. It was the evening of the 31st of October and the streets were deserted, save for one man and his children. The children were dressed as a vampire and a skeleton. Their father was glancing nervously about him, discretely hurrying his children away from yet another door that hadn't opened for them. The occupants of the houses knew that it wasn't safe to open your door to strangers these days.
A shrill scream shattered the peacefulness of the late afternoon.
James Potter crashed from the bathroom dressed in nothing but a pair of pyjama bottoms. His glasses were on upside down and he was dripping wet from the shower, but he barrelled down the stairs, brandishing his wand like a sword. "Lily?" He cried, bursting into the tiny living room, a look of utter terror on his face.
"James! Get rid of it!" He wildly looked around the room for the source of the screaming and came upon a rather unexpected scene. His wife was standing on the sofa, clutching their baby son and pointing at the cat. Slowly he lowered his wand.
"What on earth are you doing?" He slowly removed his glasses and put them back on the right way up.
"Don't just stand there! For God's sake get rid it of it!" She cried, jabbing her finger at the cat. James hesitated for a second, then apprehensively strode across the room and lifted the creature up with one hand. A severed mouse head dropped out of its mouth and landed on the floor with a muffled 'thud'. Lily screamed again, pressing herself into the corner of the couch in an attempt to get even further away from it. Already disgruntled at being unexpectedly dragged away from investigating the rodent, Harry began to wail. James began to realise the stupidity of the situation and his blood began to boil. Hearing her screams… he had obviously thought the worst. It had nearly given him a heart attack. Not to mention that he nearly cracked his head open, slipping on the wet tiles in the bathroom.
"For Christ's sake, Lily! It's an effing mouse!" He shouted, dropping the cat and throwing open the nearest window. Obliviously, the cat began to wash itself. "You scared me half to death you bloody stupid woman! I though You-Know-Who was here!" He sent the mouse head flying with a violent flick of his wand.
"Piss off James, it was disgusting!" Lily shouted back. She climbed off the sofa and tried to quieten Harry's ear-splitting cries, whilst glaring at her husband.
"That doesn't mean you've got to start shrieking the house down like a mad woman." Slamming the window shut, he marched over to the pile of laundry on their dining table. He pulled out a t-shirt and wrenched it over his head as Harry's screams slowly turned into hiccups.
"That mangy old thing." She continued, pretending he hadn't spoken. "I don't want it in the house anymore, tell Sirius to take the stupid thing back." She had been in this mood all day. Dinner had been an unpleasantly silent affair, in which Harry had been the only one keeping up the conversation. Interesting, as his vocabulary consisted of four barely distinguishable words.
At that precise moment, Lily was attempting to wipe away the snot that was dribbling unattractively down Harry's face, but he was having none of it. He was holding out his arms towards James, fat little fists grasping at the air. "Da!" He cried. James' face softened into a smile as the anger subsided. His heart felt like it might explode with love for this tiny little person. He had been so scared.
James gently lifted his son out of Lily's arms. "It's not Philip's fault you get hysterical at the tiniest thing." He said, half joking as he tickled Harry's tummy. Lily glowered at him and marched over to the ironing board. Then she started to savagely attack one of James' shirts with the iron.
"It's a ridiculous name anyway." She muttered, slamming the iron onto the collar. James winced. "Who calls a cat Philip?"
"Sirius, obviously" He kissed Harry's forehead and placed him on the floor next to a mound of brightly coloured plastic toys, before moving towards Lily. "What's the matter?" He snaked his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder, sniffing her hair deeply. It smelled like coconut. "I know it's not just the cat that's bothering you."
She shrugged him off with a sharp jab in the ribs.
He stumbled back, surprised. "What did I do?"
"Nothing!" She snapped.
James raised an eyebrow. The shirt was starting to smoke. "Er… You sure about that?"
"Yes! Would you just let me iron your damn shirts!"
"You could always just… just do it by magic." He said warily, slowly backing off towards the hall.
"What's the point??" She smashed the iron down on the board and pointed her wand at the shirt. It folded itself so viciously that the sleeves came off. "I might as well do it the long way! There's bugger all else to do around here!" Struggling to control the anger that just kept bubbling up inside her like poison, she leaned on the ironing board and stared at her hands. James surveyed her with a mixture of confusion and apprehension. She had been like this for a week, snapping at him for every tiny thing. It was beginning to scare him.
There was a long silence, punctuated only by the sounds of her erratic breathing and the steady tick of the clock on the wall. When she spoke, he had to strain his ears to hear her. "I hate it here, James." She said, her voice wavering. "I want to go home."
He moved towards her, enveloping her unresponsive form in a hug. "This is home, love." He whispered into her hair.
Again, she pushed him away from her, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "You know what I mean." Hurt, his arms fell uselessly to his sides. "I want to go back to Kent."
James ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. This wasn't the first time she had brought this up. "Lils, I know you miss it; I do too, but it's not safe there-"
"I know that! I'm not stupid!" She shouted. James shut up. Lily looked over at her son. He was busy bashing a toy unicorn with a plastic cauldron, blissfully unaware of his parent's anger and frustration. "Our real home is in Kent. We spent so long, making everything perfect for him." She paused. "He's never even seen it."
James, too was looking at Harry. And for the hundredth time he tried to reason with her. But by now, he felt like he was trying to convince himself too. "Dumbledore did his best for us here-" He began, but she cut him off, irritated.
"Yes, James! There's no need for the guilt trip thank you." She began to pace the limited space between the sofa and the kitchen. "We've been here over a year now. A year! And what's happened since then? Nothing! They're no closer to catching him now than they ever were!"
"The Order are doing everything they can-"
"Whilst we're cooped up here slowly killing each other!" Tears were coming thick and fast now. James knew exactly how she felt and only wished that she would let him hold her, to show her that he understood. "Our son is a year and four months old, and it breaks my heart that he hasn't been outside the back garden since we brought him back from St Mungo's! We haven't left the house in a week, James!"
The anger fired up inside him again, when he remembered what had prompted their house-arrest. "Do you really want a repeat of last time?? Is that what you want?" He shouted.
Six days ago, they had allowed themselves a rare visit to Remus's house, while Sirius babysat. They had barely been there ten minutes when they were attacked by Death Eaters. It was a lucky escape. When they realised Harry wasn't there, James and Remus had been subjected to the Cruciatus Curse as the Death Eaters tried to get information. Luckily, Lily had been in the bathroom when they had attacked and had managed to get a message to the Order. She had crouched, looking through the crack in the door in utter terror, desperately wanting to leap out and blast them all to hell but knowing she could never take on all them at once, by herself.
Dumbledore had decided it had been much to narrow an escape and the Fidelius Charm had been performed that very night. Lily wanted Dumbledore to be their secret keeper; James wanted Sirius. Sirius had refused though. He had said that he was too obvious a choice, which was true, and that he didn't know if he was strong enough to keep their secret under the terrible torture You-Know-Who was famous for. James and Lily had both knew this was absolute bollocks. He could never betray them however terrible the torture, but he seemed so sincere that they went with his suggestion of Peter to placate him. Lily and James hadn't been out of the house since then, and although Sirius, Peter and Remus had all visited, they still felt as if the already tiny cottage was closing in on them.
James glared at Lily, who gaped at him, wounded that the thought could even cross his mind. "How dare you?" She whispered, her voice soon rising to a phenomenal volume. "HOW DARE YOU? What, you honestly think… You think that I like watching my friend's house being destroyed? You think that I actually ENJOYED watching my husband being tortured? You bastard… you utter bastard!" Harry looked up at his parents, scared and uncertain, as Lily burst into noisy sobs, covering her face with her hands. She looked so small and helpless. James stood there uselessly, feeling the guilt consume him in overwhelming waves.
"That's not… I didn't… Lily, you know I didn't mean that…" He stuttered, all of a sudden feeling like an awkward schoolboy again. She raised her face from her hands and looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. She knew really that he didn't mean it, but that same pride that kept them apart in school stopped her admitting it. All she wanted was to bury her face in his chest and feel his arms around her, protecting her. It was the only place she ever felt safe. But something held her back, widening the gulf that was slowly growing between them.
"How could you ever think that of me?" She wept. James felt like crying himself. He could feel the tears prickling behind his eyes and a lump rising in his throat.
"I don't. I don't think that, I know you wouldn't… you wouldn't ever…" He looked deeper into her beautiful eyes and suddenly rushed to her, crushing her to him, hugging her so tightly he felt like he could never let her go. As she sobbed against him, her fingers clutching his back tightly, James felt his own tears trickle down his cheeks, to become mingled in her hair. "He's tearing us apart, Lily." He croaked, squeezing her tightly "Please don't let him tear us apart, please."
"Why is it us? Why does it have to be us?" She said, her tears subsiding. "I just want us to be… to be… normal and… and happy!" There was a moment of total stillness, then, slowly, Lily detangled herself from his arms and went over to Harry. She knelt beside him, watching him rub his eyes and yawn, before hesitantly starting to speak. "James, I… I need to… I have to…" She took a deep steadying breath and picked Harry up. Avoiding James' eyes she looked at Harry with uneasiness written on her face. "I think… I might be pregnant."
James was stunned into silence. An odd combination of elation and dread shot through his body. "You… You're what?" He said hoarsely, half-praying that he hadn't heard her properly.
Lily looked up into his eyes, but her voice sounded tired, as if all the problems of the world rested on her shoulders. Every trial she had faced in her short life was etched onto her every feature. She looked older than she really was. "I haven't done the test yet. But all the signs are there."
James still couldn't quite believe it. He stood there in a daze, ran his hands through his hair and began to pace frantically. "Jesus, Lily! I mean, not that it's not great, but… but Harry's only… he's still tiny, and… and You-Know-Who…"
"I know. I know. It's a nightmare." She sat heavily on the sofa. "I've been so worried. With all that's happened… And we're in so much danger all the time… It just seems so unfair, to bring another child into this world." She stroked her son's dark hair down and hugged him tightly, trying to control her trembling voice for his sake.
James began to regain some of the feeling in his limbs and, stiffly, he moved towards them, his hand outstretched. She clutched onto it and James brought her pale hand to his mouth and kissed it before sitting next to her and sliding his arm around her shoulders. "It's not… ideal, is it?" He sighed, watching Harry blink sleepily and place his thumb in his mouth. "It will be alright. It will. I promise you. Everything will be okay." He kissed her hair and gazed out of the window, his mind racing, trying to provide potential solutions to all their ever-mounting problems. The sun had finally slipped below the horizon and the sky was inky black, the half moon ghostly behind a single solitary cloud. Lily turned slightly and rested her head on his shoulder.
"I love you." She whispered. "So, so much. Don't ever leave me."
"I would never leave you. I love you both more than anything. I'd do anything to keep you safe" With his free hand he gently stroked Harry's hair. James smiled. It would be alright. As long as they were safe. That was all that mattered. They sat there for a while, James and Lily forming a protective shield around their son, mesmerised by his innocence.
Harry produced a huge yawn that dragged his parents back into the present. James stretched his arms to the ceiling and groaned. "You'd better put Harry to bed." He said. "He's exhausted, bless him." Lily passed Harry to James, who gave him a fierce hug. "Uncle Sirius is coming to see us tomorrow, I think." He said brightly, tapping Harry on the nose. Harry smiled and grasped his father's fingers, promptly sticking them in his mouth and chewing them. James laughed as Lily looked on, smiling, but with sadness in her eyes. As he extracted his hand and wiped the dribble on his t-shirt, a flash of white flitted through his peripheral vision, in stark contrast to the darkness of their front garden. He stiffened, his grip on Harry tightening.
"James?" Lily said, placing a hand on his arm. There was the whispering of a cloak, a glint of red eyes in the darkness. Suddenly James shoved Harry into Lily's arms leapt off the sofa, grabbed both their wands. He pressed hers into her hand and said urgently, "Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go!"
Evil, high-pitched laughter. A crash. Screams. Blazes of green light. A deafening roar that stilled the townspeople in their homes.
He had promised to keep them safe.
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Hmm. I don't really like the end of this, but I've messed around with it for ages and haven't really got anywhere. Feedback muchly appreciated!
