I have come to the realization, that life is more than what I have accomplished
And life is more than the realization, that we have accomplished nothing at all
When I landed in 2006, I didn't have any morals. No goals. Nothing that held me down here. I didn't need to find anything; didn't need to complete myself. In my eyes, I was complete. In my eyes, I needed nothing else.
But my eyes were untrained. My eyes were accustomed to the perfection of 2121, and so I didn't think that anything else mattered. Nothing else needed to matter. I had my family, my friends, the ability to go back and forth to any century I may want to live in. My prejudice misled me.
When I landed in 2006, I didn't expect anything of it. Nothing, in my opinion, could come close to matching 2121. I sincerely believed that I was happy in that century.
When I landed in 2006, I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there.
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me
I don't need to prove the world to you, only to myself
As I grew accustomed to this century, I learnt things that I never would have learnt in 2121. And I don't mean how to cook, or how a television set works. No. I learnt things about myself that I never would have discovered, living in my perfect little world, where anything and everything I needed was available.
Here, you have to work for what you want.
Here, you have to try, and fail, and try and fail.
But when you grasp whatever you've been trying to do… you love it. It's indescribable. An immense rush, of relief, and happiness.
My family thought I was insane. They still preferred the futuristic way of life. Spray food, gadgets… they weren't living in the 21st century. They didn't feel an experience how people in this century lived. I never could understand why. When people go on holiday, they speak the language of the country, they try the native food and they visit the places. It's the same thing. When you live in the 21st century, you do as the people in the 21st century do. It's only right.
But, even if they didn't want to join in, and live life the hard way, I was going to. My choice wasn't to prove to them I could do it. It was to prove to myself. To show myself that I could live whichever way I wanted.
A warrior poet said
Have no regrets when you're old
Most people regret a lot. People in this century are forever complaining about what they would have done, and what they could have done. Only one person I knew…know doesn't complain.
Keely.
Keely Renae Teslow.
Yes, we were on middle name terms. Probably would have been on better terms, if I had waited. If I could have waited. If I could have possible encouraged my parents that they were making the biggest mistake of their 21st and 22nd century lives. I couldn't.
But regretting was never my thing. I never regretted, just wondered what the mistakes would bring me. Instead of regretting getting stuck in 2006, I look back on it with awe. Amazed that in a century that wasn't really famous for anything, I learnt more than I had ever learnt.
Regrets. I will only ever have one regret. That's all. Any mistakes I make after this regret, will not be counted as regrets, just aftershocks of the regret. Effects of the regret. They will not be regrets in themselves, only the shells of wishes, and missed opportunities.
You look at me with eyes
That could beat the sunrise in a contest
I guess the moment that I knew I was making a mistake, was the moment where I could do nothing about it. Any moments before it, I may have been able to stop. Stop following, and for once take the lead. But she came a moment too late.
Moments shouldn't matter. But they do. Moments, seconds, milliseconds… they all count. All count, and even if you're a millisecond too late, you're too late. The damage is done. And the damage was undone, in my case.
Everything that had ever been broken on the time machine, was fixed. Everyone was anticipating arriving home; being back on 22nd soil. The rest of my family were willing to forget everything that had happened here, and just pick up where we had left off in 2121. Like we had never left.
But for me, it wasn't that simple.
Things were never simple with me. For the rest of my family, they had nothing tying them down. Nothing that was so precious, that they had to hold onto. Nothing that they didn't mind leaving behind, for the sake of being in their home century. I did. I had something that I didn't want to leave behind. That I wanted to hold onto, and never let go.
She was there. She always had been there. But I only became aware of it in that last moment. The moment where nothing could be done. The Diffy family were about to be erased from 2006.
She looked at me. She knew, and I knew that it was too late. She looked heart-broken, but managed a weak smile. We both knew that seeing each other again was impossible. But we didn't want to think about that right then.
And through the streaky window, I saw a tear, run down her pale cheek. She looked like one of those china dolls, that cry when you push a button. Fragile, frail…
She mouthed something… just as we were leaving. And I missed the last word. I'll never know what she said to me.
If I had one more moment, I could have seen.
But one more moment was too long.
Here where the future meets the past
I can never fall in love again
And so, as I zoom through the 8th dimension, and travel away from my past, I'm blank. I can't feel love, nor pain. Happiness nor sadness. I feel… nothing. Nothing at all.
Time travellers are all around me, but they're only going in one direction. Forwards. To 2123, or whichever century they come from. They've all been called home. Called back, because time travelling is now illegal. Which is why I can't see Keely anymore.
Here is where past meets future. Here, there is no present, because you're zooming through time. If you were to say that you were in 2045, by the time the words came out of your mouth, you'd be another year ahead. Here, is where I leave Keely behind. Here, is where my desired path fades into the distance, and so I have to choose another one.
Work with my dad at Wizrd-Corp.
Grow old.
Retire.
Die.
You may think that I've missed something out of the equation. I haven't.
In this life, there will be nothing extra. No love, no marriage. Because the one person I'd even consider marrying, is a hundred years in the past.
And she can't even hear me.
I'm trying to work out whether landing in 2006 was a good thing. I taught me a lot. I learnt how to love; how to live. But leaving… Was it worth living and loving, when I now have to leave it all behind? Wouldn't I have been better off in 2121, still sure that I was happy? Still sure that nothing could ever be better than how I felt then?
And the answer is no.
I'd rather have had Keely for the short time that I did, than not have her at all.
I'd rather have lived and learnt, than stayed sure of myself; stayed annoying and cocky.
It was worth it. Just to see the look on her face when she smiled. Just to be able to be who I chose to be. Just to be friends with her, and be able to not worry about what other people thought. Because actually, I didn't care what they thought. I cared what she thought.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew my self until I ripped off my disguise
She showed me the world and his wife.
She showed me the right way of life.
She showed me all that I needed to see.
To become me.
And so, as we touch down in 2123, I'm smiling. Humming to myself, the album, that we both bought, and shared. She has it now. It was her turn.
I carry on humming, even as we get out of the time machine, and take our stuff out.
Carry on humming as the time machine gets locked down, and towed away.
Humming, humming as we walk into our old house; into the place that I used to love; into the place that I now despise.
Keep on humming as I climb the stairs, back into the room that I left so many years ago.
Humming…
Humming…
And, even though she's a hundred years away, I know that she's humming too.
Okay, so I got one review for my last OneShot. So maybe I'll get the same for this one. Although I hope not, seeing as this one took me WAAY longer than that one. So this one deserves more.
And those couplets, were not a whole song. In fact, they were segments from many different songs. All by The Classic Crime.
1&2&6 - Who Needs Air - Classic Crime.
3 - Warrior Poet - Classic Crime
4&5 - All The Memories - Classic Crime.
Okay, so yeah. Now that that bit's over, review!