Why do people live?
What makes people go through all the trouble, all the wasted money, all the energy, just to live for a little more time?
What is it that makes living appealing than death?
Admittedly, fear is one of the main factors that makes living seem like a better option, the fear of not existing is something everyone is scared of, leaving this world without leaving anything behind is unimaginable for some. People live because they fear death.
But then again, there are people who doesn't fear death, special cases where they have seen the truth of existing and not existing, of death and life, of heaven and hell. They welcome them with open arms, accepting death when it comes. So, what really drives them to continuing surviving despite unafraid of dying?
Simple, motivations.
Motivations are strong, people achieve impossibles with enough motivations despite the challenges they faces. They are created and gifted, something that people always put in first priority.
People live because of motivations, something or someone that drives them enough to ignore the troubles of being alive and continue surviving in this world. With enough conviction, they can change the lives of the people around them.
Motivations are strong, people all have motivations from the very beginning since they are birthed. They are given purpose to live by the people living around said person; they tell him about how beautiful dreams are, that they should always fight to make that dream a reality. They explain content they feel when they have families, of the happiness and pride they would feel of carrying their grandchildren in their arms. They describe how amazing the world is when they travel, of how blue the sky are and the vastness of the sea, and to persuade them one day see the world with their own eyes.
And soon enough, they become the motivations that drives them to continue living.
And so, despite having a strong will to live even knowing of all the troublesome effort and pain they will have to go through...
Why do people commit suicide?
What is it that is strong enough to overpower their strongest motivations? To render their life meaningless?
Again, it's simple.
It's because their purpose to live is lost.
A machine, when they lost the power that drive them, they are just a simple shell with no purpose to serve. They are dead.
The same goes for humans, without a purpose to live, they choose to die.
Who can blame them, we humans are selfish beings, always prefer easier choices over harder ones.
Why live? When death is a better option?
Life is cruel, it is unforgiving. Many humans forfeit their lives to the reaper's merciful hands.
Now, if someone ask, what is my purpose to live in such a merciless and rotten world? I would merely laugh at the question.
It's because I don't have a purpose in life, I have been reprieved of my desires when I have learnt the true nature of the world, simply there are nothing I want in such a fake world where mountains of lies stood. In other words, I don't live for my own sake, for myself.
But yet, I continue living.
I don't live for myself, I have lost that right that day.
I live for my family.
My dead parents, the best mother and father I can ever have, I live for their sakes, to fulfill their unfinished duty.
Namely, my sleeping beauty, my dearest sister, who is now currently hooked to a machine that is the only thing that keeps her alive.
I know, that as her brother, and now as her legal guardian; that I will look after her, to take care of her when no one can, and that I will do anything to guarantee her happiness.
I would trade my happiness for hers, just simply because I now live for her.
Hikigaya Hachiman's final essay~