Letters of Regret
The rain was warm and stung my already wet eyes, my feet splashed though the puddles and my heart was screaming in my ears as I ran from him. Feeling my world crashing down all around me, a bright light was shining on me from the right and all I could do was freeze up and stare it down, my body and mind just gave up its will to continue and as the lights of the truck came closer, my senses came back to me. The trucks horn blaring in my ears, I closed my eyes and waited for impact. A large hand wrapped tightly around my right wrist and yanked my arm with such force my whole body floated into a wet but warm chest then encased by strong arms. I trembled with shock that my life was nearly taken by my stubbornness but I feel his warmth through his wet clothes, I felt my fear give way and I started to sob, burying my face in his chest. His smell calmed me and that's when I noticed his sweet voice, it was like honey on a warm day, but it was sad and scared. His sobbing was light and in between he'd whisper, "I won't let you leave me."
I wasn't really into the whole Kpop trend yet, but I had my two favorite bands so far. My parents thought that I was too old for fan clubs and what not, I was almost 22, I was adult enough to make my own choices. I was working full time as a smoothie girl at a local smoothie shop. It was owned by these cute older Asian couple who didn't have children so their employees were their adopted family. I want be like them when I get married, to be in love as though we just fell in love for the first time and be loved by all who were around me. But all my Kpop friends I met at work, whether they are customers or coworkers, they introduced me to what I now call crack. I worked the morning shift, which meant I was busy with breakfast and lunch crowds. I loved my regulars that would come. I had my favorite pair, Mr. Krupp who was an older business man and his younger partner Mr. Ryo who reminded me of my EXO vegetable Sehun.
My Facebook friends who were KPop fans got me into all the groups online and helped me keep updated on concerts and events...even if they were thousands of miles away.
At the time my boyfriend and I were about to celebrate 2 years but after work one day, I arrived at home with boxes at the front door with a simple note, "This isn't working out. We need to go our separate ways." He blocked my calls and texts, only leaving me in the dark broken and confused. That first week was hell, everything around me reminded me of him. I wanted run away or burn everything in sight. One of my friends stayed with me for a couple nights, just to make sure I was eating, but in a fit of rage I broke out my fancy letter set and ink pens. My friend looked at me wide eyed as I grinned stupidly at the paper. Finally after three pages of written letters she asked me, "What ARE you doing?" I don't even pause or looked up at her, I just simply replied, "Confessing my feelings to Namjoon." Her mouth dropped and all she could say was "Poor Sehun."
I didn't even realized that I wrote about ten pages of ranting, bad mouthing and comparing Namjoon to my ex boyfriend. My last page was me challenging him to prove to me in some way that men can actually love me. Not that I would even think he could take me seriously, I mean, I'm just a broken heart crazy lady only two steps away becoming a crazy cat lady. Oh hell, who am I kidding, he'll never see them, at least that was my thought. Of course I never intended to send them to him...but my friend, she was a ninja and slinked through the cover of darkness and mailed them. SHE MAILED THEM?! My life is over, ruined, I'll be shunned from Kpop...Namjoon is gonna hate me!
On the next episode:
The Kpop world is a buzz over an announcement from BTS. And a unexpected visitor arrives.