"When was the last time you were honestly 100% happy?" Mac asks casually from where she lounges on the beach next to the blonde. They're waiting for their mark- a certain husband who likes to meet a certain busty woman (who is not his wife) on this particular stretch of sand- who hasn't shown up yet for Veronica to take the money shot, and the two women are seeking to occupy themselves with a game of Truth or Dare, minus the dares (it's too lazy a day for dares, anyways).
"What kind of happy?" Veronica deflects, fully prepared to keep aiming questions towards Mac until the hacker loses track of the original question.
But Mac foils her plans by answering, "Contented-happy."
Veronica goes silent for a moment, "Contented-happy? I don't know," She's lying, of course. She does know. She can give the exact details of the feel of that last moment of contentment, but Mac doesn't need to know that. Mac doesn't need to know that the last contented-happy moment in Veronica Mars's world wasn't with Logan (who brings his own brand of happiness. Or, rather, several brands, but they're still too new, too old, too something, for contented-happy to come up just yet).
Of course, the misfortune of being friends with the same people in High School into your thirties is that it's practically impossible for even an accomplished liar like Veronica Mars to get away with it.
Mac knows too many of her tricks.
Veronica's taught Mac too many of her tricks.
"Bullshit."
Veronica sighs and allows her eyes to slip close. With the sun warming her skin, the sound of the ocean, she could almost transport herself back to that last contented-happy moment.
"It was right after Aaron was arrested. I had figured it all out, I had gotten the right man arrested, I had crawled out of that fridge, the doctors told me my dad would be OK, my mom had stopped being a weight pressing on me, and I had fallen asleep, exhausted.
"When I opened my eyes, I was on a float, the sun shining, in a pool filled with water lilies," her lips give a slight quirk that Mac's never seen before.
It's not Veronica's usual smirk, the one that spells destruction to whomever she aims it at; or the smirk Veronica displays when she's teasing Mac, Wallace, or Mr. Mars; it's definitely not the smirk Mac has tried very hard not to notice Veronica direct at Logan Echolls when they bicker (if they think everyone else hasn't picked up on the fact that those two use bickering as foreplay, they must have a pretty low estimation of their friends' intelligence). No, it's an entirely new quirk Mac has never seen before on her friend's lips. Something softer, something...unquantifiably different. If Veronica's smiles were in binary, Mac was sure she could figure out what it was that caused this one to be so fundamentally different, but Mac's always been better with computers than the subtleties of human facial expressions, so she lets it go.
"And when I looked over," Veronica continues on a sigh.
Mac holds her breath for a moment while Veronica's lips continue to play with that strange quirk.
"Lilly was there.
"It was just like when we used to go sunbathing, and the sun was warm, and we had that feeling- the feeling that nothing in the world would ever go wrong. Nothing could go wrong. It was so far from murder and-," Veronica's voice stalls, "Everything. And I felt like...that was how everything was supposed to be."
"What was she like?" Mac can't stop herself- can't sensor herself- because asking Veronica about anything personal is difficult.
Asking about Lilly Kane is downright taboo.
But Veronica must still be feeling the aftershocks of that contented-happy she was just remembering, because she gives that same quirk of her lips and answers.
"She was...like a diamond I guess," the blonde snorts, "And, god, she would've loved that comparison! But, it's all I can think of. She could be so cold, almost icy, and there were just so many facets, so many sides to her, I don't think I could explain them all in a year. She...everyone wanted her, and when the light hit her- god, it was beautiful.
"Nobody loved me quite like Lilly Kane. She knew who I was before anyone else did. You're not a yellow cotton dress! You're red satin!" Mac doesn't quite understand the significance of colors and material for clothing here, but she's got enough to form an idea. "If she could've seen what happened after-," Veronica's voice cuts out again, "You think I have a knack for vengeance? You should've seen Lilly. She could take down an entire social stratosphere with a few words.
"But, she wasn't there. And the yellow cotton was burned, and the red satin was ripped."
There's certain things about Veronica Mars that Mac doesn't want to know. Certain things that she's gotten hints of from watching how Veronica reacts to things (she's always dogged when on a case, but she is downright manic when it comes to rapists wandering around campuses), and hints unconsciously dropped by Wallace (no one knows all of Veronica Mars's secrets, but Wallace knows a good many) and even Logan (if anyone ever will know all of Veronica Mars's secrets, it would be him) have led her to conclusions she's not exactly a fan of.
The red satin was torn. But Veronica Mars paired it with a set of black butch boots, and it works rather well for her.