1. Ask him repeatedly why he doesn't love you.
2. Finally exclaim "Oh get it! You're into men!"
3. Tell Misa that he said he'd sleep with her tonight.
4. Call him repeatedly saying you'd like to place an order for delivery.
5. Lock yourself up with Takada, Misa, and Light.
6. Exclaim "Oh Light now that we're in love let's get married!"
7. Secretly videotape the fight that proceeds.
8. Put said videotape on the internet labeled "Kira: Punisher or Player?"
9. Tell L that Light called him his dirty little secret.
10. Tell Matsuda that Light called him his dirty little secret.
11. Tell Mogi that Light called him his dirty little secret.
12. Tell Mello that Light called him his dirty little secret.
13. Tell Matt that Light called him his dirty little secret.
14. Tell Near that Light called him his dirty little secret.
15. Tell him that while cleaning his room you found this ratty old note book, Death Note, or something.
16. When he asked what you did with it say "Well this very nice man in a scary costume said that it was his so I returned it."
17. Say "Utopia" at the end of all his sentences.
18. When Near calls start to freak out saying "Oh crap! Oh crap, he figured out that you, Yagami Light, are Kira and that Misa Aname is the second Kira and that you use a Death Note which is a notebook that if you write..." and so on.
19. Giggle and say "Spelled backwords your last name is 'IM-A-GAY!'"
20. Hug him saying "Yay, snugly!"
21. Whenever something about Kira is said say loudly, "Oh Kira, I've never met him, and he's certainly not Light Yagami!" And then wink obviously at Light.
22. Pay a little girl to go kick him in the crotch, take pictures.
23. When you see him handcuffed to L say, "I knew it, I just knew it!"
24. What he asks what your talking about say "Oh come on, you and L are perfect for each other, well except for the you being Kira part."
25. When he tells you to shut up and leave, smile, wink and say, "Let me guess you need to take a shower? If you know what I mean."
26. Ask him how he sleeps at night knowing he's a mass murderer.
27. When he says he's not laugh hysterically and stupidly.
28. Tell everyone he tried to rape you.
29. Tell Mikami that God wants him to kill himself.
30. Get Light drunk.
31. Really drunk.
32. Video tape his drunkenness.
33. Use it as blackmail to get him to admit his love of teddy bears.
34. Explain extreme detail to him about how Kira is obviously a squirrel because of his killing techniques, every time he interrupts you say "I'm not done yet!" Even if you are. Be sure to make absolutely no sense.
35. Bribe a little girl into calling him Mama for a day.
36. When Light says he's not her Mom make sure she cries, then run up to him and accuse him of being a child abuser.
37. Talk constantly about how hot, L, Near, Matt, or Mello are, and then look at him, sigh and shake your head.
38. Ask him what animals say, for example ask, "What does a cat say?"
39. Ask where babies come from.
40. Over react to everything, be completely hysterical.
41. Ask him to spell "Icup" and then call him a child molester.
42. Ask him to spell "Pig" backwards and then say "Funny colors"
43. If he does say, "Okay, that was waaaay too much information!"
44. Hug him alot saying, "Just like Nana"
45. Ask him repeated questions about his hair.
46. After about fifty questions say, "You see! No straight guy would know that kuch about hair."
47. Follow him around saying very loudly "I'm special"
48. When he says you aren't say, "Yeah huh, my mommy said so! But I guess it's different for you, my mommy loves me."
49. Dye his hair green.
50. Say he did it because the stress is getting to him.
51. Sit him down and say, like your talking to a five year old, "Light there is no Kira."
52. Say he reminds you of the old fat bald man who lived across the street from you.
53. Tell him about how the old man liked for your brother to rake his yard shirtless, and gave out funny tasting candies.
54. Start crying about the fact that the old man was taken away by the police, and then look at him and say, "You two could be twins."
55. When you see him in public run up to him and scream tragicaly, "Why don't you love me Daddy? All I've ever done is love and cherish you! Was I not quiet enough last night, did I make your lunch wrong? Why don't you love me!" And start crying hystericaly.
56. When he says he's not your father grab his leg saying, "Please Daddy, no! I love you, please I'll do anything I'm sorry I folded your shirt wrong, I won't cut the steak wrong either! Please love me! Please Daddy, please!"
57. While he's talking to someone as Kira sing, "I'm a cat, I'm a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance! I'm a cat, I'm a kitty cat! And I prance prance prance and I prance prance prance!" Loudly.
58. Repeat everything he says only very stupidly.
59. Look at him and scream "I'm blind!"
60. Sing "Do You Know the Muffin Man?" around him.
61. Scream at him until he sings with you.
62. Video tape him singing and then put it on the internet titled- "Kira's Soft Side for Muffins"
63. Replace all his clothes with emo clothes.
64. Tell everyone on the investigation team that he's become suicidal.
65. Say that it's because he just realized L would never love him.
66. Tell him he's your little cuddle monkey.
67. Hold your finger an inch away from him saying over and over very loudly, "I'm not touching you."
68. Whenever he says something to you reply "Your mom!"
69. Poke him repeatedly saying "Poke"
70. Look at his hair and say, "Okay no straight guy uses that much product."
71. Scream at him in another language.
72. Look at him and then srceam "What's happened to Santa?"
73. Tell Ide that Light called him his dirty little secret.
74. Tell Aizawa that Light called him his dirty little secret.
75. Tell Ryuk that Light wants him bad.
76. Tell Ryuk that you'll give him an 10 apples if he calls Light sweetheart for a day.
77. When Light is talking to Near as L, grab the headset and say to Near loudly, "Okay Near stop leading Light on, we all know that you're not even a little bit interested in him."
78. Call him pudding pop.
79. Poke his hair and say, "Ewww, it's all hard and sticky."
80. Then say "Why don't you have pretty hair like L?"
81. Sing "Lighty Wighty pudding and pie, kissed the girl's and made them cry. When the big boys came to play Lighty Wighty realized he's gay. " Around him.
82. Tell Mikami that Light called him his dirty little secret.
83. Give Mikami Light's address and a copy of his key.
84. Then give him Light's home and cellphone numbers.
85. Take a poll of whose hotter, L or Kira.
86. Tell Light that out of 5 million votes he only got three.
87. Draw a moustache on his face in permanent marker.
88. Sing "Barbie Girl"
89. Say "Skittles! Taste the Rainbow!" Over and over again.
90. When he tells you to stop smile and say, "Hey Light you want some of my Skittles? If you know what I mean." Keep asking until he agrees to have some.
91. When he does finally agree slap him saying, "Ew, OMG you pervert, what is your problem!"
92. Ask if he likes bananas.
93. Giggle hysterically if he says no, and pretend to puke if he says yes.
94. Sing "The Hamster Dance"
95. Call him at two a.m. crying that your pet just died.
96. Around four a.m. mention that your pet was a rock.
97. Splash water on the front of his pants and then say over and over, "Someone had an accident."
98. Bring up the occasion whenever he's talking to someone.
99. When he is talking to someone as Kira call loudly, "Does Light have to go weewee? We don't want another accident!"
100. Scream at him for the stupidest things, like blame him for a bleached spot on your jeans.
101. When he asked why you are there shrug and say, "I don't know I was bored and there's nothing good on T.V."