"I was unstoppable. The other angels? They were scared of me, frightened of me. None of them would stop me when I went to save you from the Pit, Dean, though many wanted you to stay there." Castiel's voice grew louder and louder though the gravel in it drew the tone deeper. The ex-angel's anger was perpetuated by the fact that Dean had his head in his hands, hiding his expression from Castiel. Hiding his eyes. Hiding his heart.
"I was the youngest in the garrison and the most respected for my faith in the Lord, in His plan. Do you know how long it took to gain that many angels trusts? Castiel's sapphires blazed with unconstrained contempt. He ran his elegant fingers through his black mane, tufting the tips up, standing then on end in irritation.
"Cas, I'm..." Dean spoke through his hands, the sweaty skin hiding some of the words, but was not given the chance to continue by the stubborn angel.
"Sorry? I brought you back from Hell! I raised you from Alistar's clutches and set you back on earth. I fell from Heaven, Dean, for you! Because I love you! Now you show me only your back, as if you are too good for me! I have nothing because of you!"
Dean's eyes narrowed. He stalked from the bed, his fists curled at his sides in anger. The lungs in his human chest seemed to be filling and exhaling air as if it were extremely thirsty.
"Dammit, Cas! You want to know why I haven't been all Stetford wife since you became human? You fell for a man that doesn't exist anymore!" the light in Dean's eyes was the first sign of life in the crumpled shape of a man since Sam's death. "Sammy was my responsibility! He was my charge, same as I was yours. I let him down! I let him down." The monstrous voice cracked and he let his hands that had risen fall. He had lost Sammy and the only thing he had left of him was the sorrow for his absence that Dean clutched to with everything he had.
"Please." He seemed to plead wholeheartedly though he stood stalk still. "You're all I have left, Cas. Please don't leave me."
Castiel seemed to deflate in dimming light. The passion, though paled, was still there, blanketed by love.
"When I fell, I fell for you. Not humanity, not even just to be human. I fell for you and you alone. I do not regret that. What I do regret is not being able to save Sam before it was too late. He said yes, not you. He said yes. You couldn't have stopped him." Castiel was now on his knees in front of Dean, his careful hands clutching and caressing Dean's face. "It was not your fault. Don't shoulder it anymore. There was nothing you could have done."
Castiel leaned in and wrapped his arms around the still body that was the remaining Winchester. He had not been the same man Castiel had torn out his Grace for, but he was still his man. The one with the emerald eyes and a bright soul that called to him even now.
"I have to." Dean mouthed into Castiels shoulder. "It's all I have left of him."