It was Christmas Eve. The Normandy was docked at the Citadel and most of the crew had gone on shore leave to see their families for the two days they could. Most of the team however stayed on board, having either little knowledge of human holiday traditions or no family to visit on Christmas. Shepard, Garrus and Jack had gone grocery shopping to treat the remaining crew to a bit of Holiday spirit. Something else was also happening.

"I do not quite understand why this…outfit and white hair on my face is necessary." Thane hummed uncertain, looking down at his unusual clothes. Luckily he did not get embarrassed easy now that he had to go out like this.

"Oh don't you worry, you look just great!" Kelly said handing him his equally odd hat as she tried to hide her smile.

"But who am I supposed to be? Is this thing very significant in your holiday tradition?"

Kasumi laughed. "Well, not significant really but just what we need now. Just be you usual smooth, quick and stealthy self. The outfit is for show, you know to fit today's theme.

"I see. But couldn't I at least have something under…this jacket? I feel somewhat exposed. "

Kelly stared intensely at his bare chest and abs and looked like she wanted to grab him and Thane resisted the urge to take a step back. "Nono, you should keep your chest exposed for your lungs and…aesthetic reasons." She chirped.

Kasumi grinned. "She's right you know. You couldn't look bad in any outfit. But now of course you should remember that it's Shepard who's chasing you, and she'll be pretty pissed. So keep your distance long enough but make sure she follows you when you start to return back. But don't come too quickly, we need some time here."

"Wait, why would she be angry at me?" Thane frowned. After all he liked Shepard, respected her and wouldn't want to make her cross with him.

"Well, because you'll have this with you." Kasumi beamed at him and handed him a large closed sack.

"And this is…?"

"Necessary." Kasumi smiled mischievously. "It contains a bunch of her guns, including the much loved M8-Avenger. Don't scratch it! She'll be pissed enough as it is and running closely behind you."

Thane swallowed. "Arashu, she won't be happy with the M8 gone. Fine, if you think the end result will be her happiness and surprise, then I'll do it. Perhaps she will not shoot me anyway after this con in over…"

"Oh, I'm sure she'll thank you and all of us eventually. Stay safe and see you later!"

Thane nodded and disappeared from the Normandy to the busyness of the Citadel.

"Damn, but that is one hot Grinch we just unleashed." Kelly said to Kasumi as they watched the drell leave.

"Yeah, tell me about it. Let's just hope Shepard won't kill him on sight."

A few moments later Shepard, Garrus and Jack were walking towards the Normandy carrying big bags of Christmassy delicacies.

Shepard looked amused at Jack, who was busying herself with looking through pretty much everything in the bag she carried. "Wow Jack, I never thought you'd get so excited of Christmas things. Okay, I admit, the human-organized Christmas market for humans and aliens alike was well stocked but seriously, you were all 'what's this, what's this?' at every stall. "

Jack fished a gingerbread from her bag and munched it. "Hey, I'm just curious. And hungry."

Shepard rolled her eyes as they prepared to step inside Normandy.

"I'm just happy that they had that many treats for turians and quarians too." Garrus said. What's this again?"

" That's a plum tart, or it's made to resemble one. Try it, it's dextro-protein-friendly!" Shepard encouraged her friend. She was pretty sure that eating mostly nutrient pastes when on the Normandy was dull at best.

"Huh, it's sweet and greasy but surprisingly good." Garrus ate the whole thing with few bites.

"Great, but save some for the evening. That's all the festivities we'll get; the food and each other's company, you know."

The trio walked in the Normandy where they were immediately met by a gushing Kasumi.

"Shepard, you're finally here! It's so awful: we've had a thief here!"

Shepard handed the shopping bags to shocked-looking Kelly. "You mean you've taken some things you shouldn't have?" the Commander grinned at Kasumi.

The thief huffed, shaking her head. "No, I'm serious! Jacob just noticed some of the special heavy weaponry missing!"

Shepard's face grew serious. "Jacob, is this true?"

The man came closer and nodded. "Yes, ma'am. No idea who did it and how but at least the Arc Projector and M-451 Firestorm are missing as well as few of the minor weapons."

Shepard frowned. "That's impossible. There's no way anyone could just come here and steal weapons. Also those prototypes in wrong hands could be really bad…

"Well, I could tell you already a dozen ways to break in here without being noticed." Kasumi interrupted.

Shepard sighed." Fine. Has C-Sec been contacted yet? They should be capable of handling this."

"No, I'd advise against contacting them. The prototypes are our own research and a delicate matter at that. Also C-Sec bureaucracy might be too slow before the thief decides to sell the weapons. "Miranda said as she came in.

Garrus coughed. "That's true. The paperwork there is non-stop and it's anything but quick. I should know."

"Oh, and the thief left a note in the armory!" Kelly handed a note to Shepard.

"Huh, so he wants to meet me within an hour from now at the rooftop of the highest building in the Citadel. It's actually Alliance owned these days, a hotel for fancy guests. He wants to negotiate a price for the weapons or he'll sell them forward. Bastard's a business man!" Shepard was annoyed as the thought of retreating to her room with a selection of fudge and chocolates and a new book was getting farther and farther away from her.

"Also," Kasumi said in a careful voice. "The thief took your favorite assault rifle."

Shepards eyes were big as she gasped. "No! Oh nonono! Not the M8?"

Kasumi nodded gravely.

The Commander clenched her fists, outraged. "Not my baby, my precious! The first assault rifle in my hands after I was woken from dead...It has sentimental value to me! I have to get it back!"

Jack snorted. "Fuck the C-Sec. We'll get them back ourselves, boss. And we'll be back with your baby before supper, you'll see!"

Shepard nodded grimacing. "Fuck yeah, we will hunt them down! The thief will pay for this, no-one steals my baby! Now, let's gogogo!" She gestured to Garrus and Jack and they left with quick strides towards the nearest rapid transit. Behind them a low bunch of snickers burst out, as well as quick steps and shuffling around the ship.

Meanwhile Thane had reached the rooftop already. It was quiet there; he had no trouble getting in the building because most humans had gone home to celebrations.

He assumed it wouldn't take long for Shepard to get here and he needed to be quick. He left a datapad, prewritten by Kasumi, on a bench and sprinkled something Kelly had called "silver glitter" around it. After a moment's consideration he opened the sack and took one of the M8's thermal clips and placed it next to the datapad. Perhaps that was teasing on his part but he started to find this amusing. Well, amusing as long as she didn't decide to end his already short life faster.

Thane then swiftly moved down the fire escape and made his way back to the Normandy, leaving a trail of silver glitter behind him.

Shepard arrived soon after at the building and quickly begun to climb the man steps up. By the time they reached the roof, she and the others were panting. "At…least...it wasn't one of those slowest of slow elevators!"

Garrus huffed. "True, phew. Remember those old days? Back then I spent so much time standing behind you in those things that all I could do was stare at your a- ahem, back of your armor ."

Jack snorted. "Sure you were, big guy. Staring at the nice and firm back of her armor?"

Shepard cocked her eyebrow. "What?"

Jack shook her head, moving forward. "Hell, you can be so dense sometimes, Shepard. Let's just go."

They moved forward, guns exposed, cautiously looking around. There wasn't really much to see, just a few crates and a bench. "Damn, are we too late?" Shepard frowned.

"There's something shiny on the bench, Shepard." Garrus nodded towards the bench. They hurried there.

"A thermal clip from the M8! The bastard's a tease! Look, it says in this datapad: 'Too late! See if you can catch me. A glittery Christmas to you!'.

"Boss, there's a trail of glitter leading back to the stairs!" Jack said and started to move along the trail. But as they moved a series of shots were heard coming from the floors below.

"What the hell?" Shepard shouted. Shooting continued and it seemed to come from the streets and inside the building. Before any of them could react much more, the rooftop door busted open when a panicked turian came running to the roof!

Seeing the trio with their guns, the turian raised his hands quickly "Don't shoot, I am a guest in this hotel!"

Shepard squinted her eyes and walked closer. "Lorik Qui'in is that you?"

The turian lowered his hands, cringing at the sound of shooting still going on downstairs. "Shepard, you really are alive! I should have known, whenever shooting begins you would be around somewhere."

Jack looked suspicious. "You know this old geezer?"

"Oh yes, back when we were still tracking down Saren at Noveria. Good times." Garrus nodded at the older turian.

Shepard lowered her M15-Vindicator. "Good to see you too but what's happening downstairs?"

Lorik shook his head. "Some terrorists burst in and started to take hostages. I managed to slip away and climb up here without being noticed. The place seems to be surrounded by Alliance men and C-Sec. I should've just stayed on Noveria."

"Right. Okay, so there are soldiers and C-Sec downstairs, so we aren't really needed here. Let's get you, Lorik, safely down and continue our pursuit…" Shepard's planning was suddenly interrupted by a very familiar voice from the loudspeakers.

"Terrorists on the roof. We have eliminated your associates. Surrender, and no more blood needs to be shed. We will use force if needed!"

Garrus looked at Shepard. "Am I hearing things or did that sound like Kaidan to you?"

Shepard had gone pale. "What the hell kind of Christmas is this? People stealing my guns and an ex showing up here? I can't deal with him now! Not after that bitch of an e-mail!" She started to look franticly around her in search of an escape route.

"Oh, an ex-boyfriend of the great Spectre? How curious, and here I thought the most curious thing was the guy coming up here a bit earlier, before all this started." Lorik mused.

"What guy? We are searching for a thief here!" Shepard asked still glancing around her and over the edge of the roof.

"Well, he was dressed in a funny way. White-lined red pants and jacket, that was peculiarly left open to reveal a very well formed green chest. Also on his face was some strange, fluffy and white facial hair. Oh and a red hat he had too and a large sack on his shoulder. Came and went very swiftly and quietly like a ghost."

Garrus gave out a small snort of laugh and Jack was trying to hide her snickers.

Shepard blurted. "The Grinch stole weapons from the Normandy! That's absurd, it's ridiculous! It's…Wait. Green, swift and quiet as a ghost and leaves a very well formed green chest bare? Why that-! When I find out who else besides Thane is behind these shenanigans, heads will drop! No-one messes with my ba_"

"Terrorists on the roof. You will have 5 minutes to surrender yourselves and descend down. Otherwise we will use force, choose wisely."

Shepard swallowed; it was definitely Kaidan's voice. She cursed in her head. "Okay, we don't have much time. I say now that I will not descend down there, not even if they start launching rockets at us."

"I get it, Shepard, I do." Garrus assured her. "But what's your plan? We don't have a skycar here."

"See that building next to us? It's a hospital's rooftop and it has an ambulance skycar parked there unguarded. We could jump there and borrow it, they won't expect it down there and by the time they get to their skycars we'll be long gone in the traffic!"

Jack holstered her gun. "Works for me, It's close enough below us."

Garrus nodded.

Lorik looked at each of them. "You really are something, Shepard. Talking about leaping from one rooftop to another and you're companions react as if it's every day. Spectre indeed. Well, you don't need an old turian slowing you down. Now that the real terrorists are dead, I'll be safe here until C-Sec or Alliance arrives."

Shepard grabbed his arm and began walking closer to the edge. "Oh, no. I can't leave you here. What if there's still a terrorist hiding in the upper floors? Or what if they think you're a terrorist and accidentally shoot at you? No, you're coming with us to safety. We'll get you down, don't worry. It's an easy leap, I've done longer ones!"

Lorik gave a laugh. "I'm sure you have, young Spectre, but I'm too old for this SHIIIIIIIIIT!" He landed almost perfectly fine after Garrus and Jack on the hospital's roof, with Shepard's helpful little push.

Shepard leaped without thinking much of it and smoothly rolled on the roof. They could hear a faint echo from the loud speakers. "What the- ? I know only one person, who leaps like that-"

But before Kaidan could end the sentence Shepard and the rest of them were already in the skycar and lost themselves in the busy sky traffic.

Having driven a long enough distance and made sure no-one followed them Shepard parked the skycar not too far away from the Normandy's docking area and they rose out from it.

"Well, that was…interesting. And I'm glad to say none of my bones are broken." Lorik dusted his clothes.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We were in a hurry." Shepard apologized. "But at least you know now that you weren't too old for that shit, eh?"

Lorik tutted."Indeed, you being suicidal is not good for this old man's heart. Nevertheless, I'm pleased to see you once again and sincerely hope you keep trouble out of Noveria this time. You seem to have no end to, how do you humans say it, tough rows to hoe?"

Shepard laughed. "Don't worry about that. Take care Lorik, and Merry Christmas."

Shepard, Garrus and Jack turned to make their way once again to the Normandy.

"Sooo, want to talk about Kaidan showing up?" Garrus asked carefully.

"Nope. I've got a Grinch to catch. Want to tell me what the hell this chase was about?"

"Nope." Garrus sounded amused. "You'll see soon enough."

"Shepard, what's a Grinch?" Jack asked.

Shepard sighed and followed a familiar line of glitter back to her ship.

The trio reached the Normandy and walked straight down to the 3rd deck where it was all dark and dead quiet.

"Okay, someone better explain and give me my baby back! Thane!" Shepard sounded menacing.

"Hohoho…" Came Thane's low voice from the darkness.

And suddenly the lights were lit at the mess hall and not just any lights but Christmas lights in all colors and they were everywhere! Even EDI seemed to change color! The whole team and remaining crew were there wearing Santa hats. Christmas ornaments were all around and Gardner's corner was filled with different dishes, treats and drinks. There was even a small Christmas tree in one corner and a huge pile of presents under it. And it looked like Grunt was staring suspiciously at hanging mistletoe.

Shepard stared at all of this, reflecting the huge grin on her team's faces. "You guys, this is too much! You could have just told me!"

Kasumi and Kelly stepped closer putting a Santa hat on the Commander's head. "It wouldn't have been such a fun surprise then. We are to be blamed for the planning and today's diversion."

Thane was still in his costume and he came to hand Shepard her M8, all polished and with a huge red bow on it. "I apologize for taking it, but it didn't suffer a scratch."

Shepard took the assault rifle eagerly from him but also spared a long look at the drell. "My precious, I missed you so! And by the way Thane, despite everything, you do look quite fine in that. "

Thane murmured something about being scarred for life, when Kelly announced: "Okay people, we have one more surprise before we get to dig in the delicious food." She then moved to an oddly-shaped object and removed the cloth from it."

Shepard gasped. "Is that a piano? How on earth have you managed to get that on board?"

"Never you worry, Shepard. Just sit back and enjoy the show", Mordin pulled a chair for her, and the rest of them sat too as the salarian went beside the piano in his surprisingly red coat and twin-tipped Santa-hat. Oddly enough, Zaeed followed him and sat behind the piano. He started to play as if he'd done that all his life and Mordin sang in all his might a Christmas song from all the crew to their un-stoppable Commander Shepard:

"From all of us To All of You a Very Merry Christmas

For on these Bright and Joyful Nights we're Glad to have you with us.

So Gather 'round your Lovely tree where all the lights are Shining…"

After the song Shepard stood clapping her hands. "Thanks, you guys, that was so unexpected and great! But seriously, next time someone takes my guns without permission, the destroying of the Reapers will be a jolly thing compared to what's going to happen to the culprits with my baby! Now let's eat and Merry Christmas to all!"