I sense the sun breaking through the threadbare curtains. As I turn over to my side, I think to myself that I need to get up, but then remember that today is Sunday; the one day of the week that I don't need to get up, make breakfast before Rick leaves to go to the mines and the boys leave to go to school. As I start to stir, I feel a heavy leg drape itself across mine and an arm falls across my waist and squeezes tight. I can tell that my sweet husband is almost awake, but like me doesn't want to ruin this blissful time between sleeping and waking.
"Good morning, beautiful," he murmurs as he plants a quick kiss on the back of my neck. "Sleep well?"
I roll over to look him straight in eye before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "I always sleep well when you are next to me," I say and lean into him and kiss him again more passionately on his lips. He kisses me right back and hugs me tight to him. Neither of us wants to be the one who ruins the moment. All of a sudden I hear, "Ma, Ma are you awake? Ma? MA?"
I startle myself awake and realize it's Gale that is calling my name as he shakes my shoulder. "Gale, geez, do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah, Ma. It's 5:30. Rory and I are getting ready to leave for our camping trip into the mountains. Remember, I told you I was taking him out today. It's way past time that he learns how to survive in the wild."
"Ohhh, that's right." I shake my head to try to get rid of the cobwebs in my brain.
"Ma? Are you okay? Were you having a dream?"
"Huh?"
"You were talking a little in your sleep and you had a really big smile on your face. What were you dreaming about?" he smirks.
"I ….. uh….. I guess I was having a dream about your dad and how we used to try to sleep in on Sunday mornings." I look up at my son who decides to sit on the edge of my bed. "I guess I just miss him."
"I miss him too," he whispers. "I thought you didn't have dreams about him any more."
What do I say to that? Do I tell him that I miss his dad terribly and a day doesn't go by that I don't wish he was here with me? I do miss him and have dreams about him all the time, but I haven't had a dream like that one in years. Why all of a sudden am I missing Rick Hawthorne? I do know why, I just don't want to tell my full-grown son. Damn, television shows! If is wasn't for that documentary on the rebuilding of the districts, I wouldn't have been thinking about District 12 and if I hadn't been thinking about District 12, I wouldn't have been thinking about my dear husband. I can't tell Gale about my thoughts of District 12. The whole idea of our long lost home is a very sore subject with him. So instead, I do what all mothers do when they are in the middle of an awkward discussion with a child, I change the subject.
"Now, what again are you plans for the day?" I say looking over at him with an overly innocent grin on my face knowing full well that he and Rory have been planning this campout for weeks.
"Ma," he begins to say, but stops once he sees that I am laughing.
"Gale, I know this is your camping weekend. You've been planning it for weeks and spent hours last night packing the jeep. By the way, where's Rory?" I ask swallowing a smirk.
"He is outside double checking all the gear. I just came in to say good-bye and try to get out of here before Vick wakes up and all hell breaks loose….. again," he says with a sigh.
Poor Gale. He finally has a job where he gets weekends off and can make plans to do things with his siblings. One of his first priorities know that life has gotten to be somewhat normal is to teach Rory how to survive in the wilderness. Vick, of course, is extremely jealous that he doesn't get to go as well, but Gale figures that teaching one brother at a time is better. I don't agree, but I'm not going to argue with him.
"That's good planning on your part," I say to him. "Well, sweetie, have a good time." He leans over to give me a kiss good-bye and then stands up to leave. His eyes glance over to the nightstand next to the bed and suddenly picks up a piece of paper.
"Hey, Ma. What's this?" he asks as he starts to read the paper.
"Oh crap!" I think to myself. "I didn't want him to see that paper now. What am I going to say?" I continue my innocent look hoping he will put the paper down before he reads it.
"Maaaaaa?" he says again. "What is this?" This time his tone is more forceful. He holds the paper with listing the pros and cons for returning to District 12 up to my face like I don't know what it says, when I know perfectly well what is says.
"Well, Gale, I don't know if you were aware of the documentaries they have been showing on the TV about the rebuilding of the districts. Well anyway, the show last night was on District 12 and….." I pause and let this sink in before I continue.
"So what does that have to do with this list?" he asks accusingly.
"After the show, the kids and I started talking about home, I mean District 12, and we kinda started making a list of reasons why we should return to 12 and why we should stay in 2." I look into his grey eyes and wonder what is going on in his mind. Does he feel we are betraying him? Does he feel like he ready to go back to his home? I know he hasn't said a word about 12 in a long time, but then again, he is a Hawthorne male and they never have been good at expressing their feelings.
All of a sudden he gets up and walks out of the room, but no before he turns to me with a sad look in his eye. "Rory and I need to get going. We want to make it to the trailhead before 7. We have a long hike ahead of us."
"Gale," I say with a hint of sadness in my voice. "Can we please talk about this?"
"Ma, I don't know what to say at the moment. I'm sure you have your reasons and I know that you want to explain them to me, but right now I just need to get out of here. I will see you tomorrow afternoon" And with that he shuts the door to my room. I can hear the front door open and shut and then the sound of the jeep backing up in the driveway. Then with a squeal of tires, the sound of the jeep disappears down the street.
"Well, that went the way I wanted it to, not!" I mutter to myself before lying back down on the fluffy pillows, pulling the warm comforter up to my chin, and closing my eyes trying to go back to sleep.