Nights of Insecurities
xx
"I need you," she whispered softly on the phone. It took me a split second to get up at two A.M and throw on a t-shirt with jeans, rushing over to her house. I didn't need an explanation, not from her, not when it was her voice on the line.
If she needed me, I always promised to be there, and throughout the years, if there's one thing I learned, it's that Miley didn't admit to needing anyone very often, so when she did, you'd better take advantage of it. It didn't matter how long it had been since our last conversation, the minute my phone lit up I'd always answer. And I know she'd do the same... She has a few times.
I went straight to her side door, softly tapping it, waiting until she let me in. The moonlight showed outlines of her tear-streaked face, no make-up, raw. This was as close to the real Miley as you could get. The real Miley broke my heart.
She wrapped her arms around me and I held her, one arm around her waist, the other going instinctively to pull her head against my chest. Her body started shaking, meaning only one thing. The tears were back, delicately curing her as she let it all out. For a few moments I forgot what year it was. I always got lost in the past.
That's the thing with Miley and I, we can fight and spend years bashing each other publicly, but the fact was, when we needed the other, we knew that the other were the only person we could always count on to pick up the pieces. Because despite what everyone said, we were more than just another couple, and I cared about her more than anything in the whole wide world, and ask her. I dare you. I promise she'd say the same.
"Thank you," she got out after a few minutes, pulling me inside and shutting her door. The lights were all off, only the computer illuminating the rather large room, and I couldn't help but wonder how long she'd been sitting in here falling apart.
"Anytime, Mi," I let her pull me down on the bed with her and laid down, her head resting on my chest.
"I'm sorry it's so late, I just-"
"I'll always be there, you know that," I told her the same words we always said.
"My life is falling apart," she wrapped her arms around me.
I closed my eyes, sighing, dying seeing her hurt like this. "We'll find a way out, okay?"
"How?" she whimpered.
"We always do, right?"
She shook her head as if I didn't understand. "It's never been this bad, Nick. Demi's gone, my parents, Liam and I - it's not working out anymore... I've only felt this alone once, and I almost didn't pull through the last time."
I knew what time she was referring to perfectly. I placed my finger on her chin, making her look me in the eyes. "You will never be alone, okay?"
She nodded a little. "But Demi-"
"She'll get better, Mi," I told her with full confidence. "She's your best-friend, meaning she's the second strongest person I know. She'll be out soon."
"And my parents? Will their divorce just disappear soon, too?" She wiped her eyes. Those tears that were streaming down were her enemy, and she was determined to have them diminish.
"It will get better," I repeated.
She sat up, pulling me up with her and positioning us so she was back in my lap, my arms around her.
"You promise it'll be okay?"
"I swear to you."
"You haven't broken my trust yet, so I guess I can believe you," she forced a small grin to remind me what I loved the most about her. Her brave face in the middle of a storm.
"When you love someone and they break your heart, don't give up on love, have faith," I murmured. "Restart."
"You remember when that was your first big hit?" she looked up at me, her arms wrapped around my neck.
I nodded. Oh, I remembered. I remembered everything about that year. Touring with her, her making me big, everything. It was the best year of my life.
"That was my favorite song for awhile."
"What happened?"
She smiled at me, a bit of blue sparkling through the turned-gray eyes. "You wrote When You Look Me In the Eyes. That still beats out anything."
"Yeah. I had some pretty big inspiration for it," I squeezed her a little.
She leaned toward me, placing her lips against mine, kissing me for the first time since the last time one of us broke down. I gave her everything. Everything I'd felt, still letting it be gentle, letting her know that I still cared. And I can't say she didn't do the same, because if I had to judge, I'd call it one of our most passionate.
"You're gonna be okay," I told her again. She shook her head, leaning back up and giving one last peck.
"Stay the night?" She looked up at me, begging. "Please?"
I nodded, laying down with her next me. I rubbed her back, humming until she fell asleep before I finally let myself drift off. I was out before she woke up the next morning. I didn't leave a note, or do anything slightly romantic. In fact, I didn't do anything period.
There was a Disney bash thing the next night. I saw her there, a little ways off, both of us going in opposite directions. I know she saw me too, we met eyes and quickly focused our attention elsewhere. Then, pretending that we didn't see each other, we walked right past. As if nothing happened.
Those nights of insecurities never mattered, because when reality hit in, it was always the same. I had my rebound, she had hers, and we both knew that we had to pretend to move on. We couldn't stay in love forever. It didn't work like that, we tried not once, but twice. It was time to give up.
I looked back at her, watching Liam walk up and his arm go around her waist. He was so oblivious to last night, but then again, look who's talking. Selena was pretty oblivious too. She turned around, facing me, and I quickly turned back. Too much happened for silenced eye contact to handle. I smiled at Ashley.
"What happened with you guys?"
"Nothing," I brushed her off. "It was nothing."
She nodded. This wasn't the first time she noticed something, but she always let me brush it off like it was nothing. Maybe because that's what we always acted like; Nothing.
And it killed me to let her break my heart while I did the same to hers, but it was all I could do. The late night phone calls of desperation were all we had left. I felt her coming closer until her and Liam finally passed, pretending I wasn't there, not acknowledging last night whatsoever.
Things weren't getting any better. If anything, it was official; we'd given up. I wanted to prove statistics wrong, show the world real love in Hollywood, but that wouldn't be happening, at least not with us. Because when I think about it, we had both given up a long time ago. The first midnight visit of secrecy and not talking about it the next day... From that day, we had accepted the fact that we couldn't be in love, but we always would be. We shouldn't have accepted that fact. We should have fought it... But it's too late now. It always too late.
They ignore each other, and look the other way, but deep down they both know it wasn't supposed to end this way.
im not dead. ha, short lil oneshot. i dont know where it came from... hope you liked it. :)
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