Hello!
This fic is for the Merthur Santa Promp and is dedicated to my sire! (ichthysmacrolivejournal)
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell." – Aldous Huxley, 1984 – 1963
He don't even know the name of the man that is having sex with him right now, it doesn't matter... his name, appearance, nothing matter cause, what he is after isn't a particular guy, the only thing he cares is the way this made him feel, even that only for a little moment.
"Oh, it's beginning to rain." the man says catching his breath before sticking his tongue into Merlin's mouth again.
Rain... he used to like when it rained, the smell of the wet ground, the sound of the water falling in the roof, it used to make him really happy when it rained now it just makes him sick.
That day was raining, even through he doesn't want to his brain seems to not respond his wishes and he starts to remember everything that happened a year ago like it was yesterday:
It was raining really hard and he almost couldn't see anything, he looked at the floor and saw blood, it was like a river of blood and bodies on the floor (some of his friends and some of the enemy).
Arthur was nowhere to be found, he was looking for him everywhere till he saw a silhouette that looked like him.
"Arthur!" he screamed as he saw Mordred paralyzing Arthur and stabbing him on the chest.
"STAY AWAY FROM HIM!" He screamed as his magic went out of control and formed a Dragon of fire that swallowed Mordred.
Even through he was fast it was not enough, by the time he reached Arthur it was too late, he was tried o everything, every magic he knew but nothing worked.
"Magic huh... somehow I always knew..." Arthur began to speak.
"Don't speak Arthur, I'll heal you, I'll find help so everything that you have to say you can say later okay?" Merlin said as he tried to stank the blood on Arthur chest.
"It can't wait Merlin... I..."
"Please Arthur don't... just... please!" said Merlin a he began to cry.
"I'm tired, I need some rest. Just promise one thing." Arthur said as he closed his eyes.
"Yes anything, don't close your eyes yet, stay awake"
"Merlin... live" and with a last breath Arthur was gone, Merlin couldn't feel his heart beating anymore... he couldn't feel him anymore.
A lightning strikes and he was awaken from his thoughts, he could hear the man say something as he sucked his neck.
"What?" he asked to the man.
"You don't seem to be enjoying it and much I do."
"Oh I am, I was the one who initiated all this remember?" he said with a smirk on his face.
O course "enjoying" wasn't the best word for it but, the fact that he really want ed this was true.
Since Arthur died many things happened to him and this... sex... was the only thing that made him feel something that wasn't related to Arthur.
At the beginning (when Arthur died) he only waited for Arthur to return (like a fool that couldn't accept the reality), it didn't felt like he had died, but he waited and waited till, it finally hit him that he wasn't coming back.
After that he only wanted to die, and he tried many times but failed all of them, he couldn't let go of Arthur's last words "live" that was the last time he heard his voice and because of that he couldn't kill himself.
People around him said that he should let it go and move on with his life but, how could he? How could he forget Arthur if he loved him so much, the only thing he knew was to be faithful and love him, of course he knew that his love would never reach Arthur but like an idiot, he continued to love him uncontrollably.
He hated himself, most because of the fact that even through he had all this magic he couldn't save the one person that meant the whole world to him.
Sometimes he hated Arthur too, how could Arthur expect him to keep on living like this, everyday he brokenheartedly miss him, he can't stop missing him but no matter how much he loves and miss him he won't be able to see him ever again.
Two sides of the same coin? Then someone tell him how he is supposed to 'move on' without the one that makes him complete.
But no matter how painful it is he never regretted the love that he feels for Arthur, not even once.
He smiles, now that he thinks about it, he never said Arthur that he loved him, all the time they stayed together and he never said those simple words, and that wasn't because he didn't have the balls to do it but, at that time, it didn't matter whether they said it or not the only thing that mattered was that they were together, side by side. Now he regrets never saying it.
"Ugh" he said as the man began to thrust awakening him from his thoughts.
"Hold on boy I'm only beginning" the man said as he move his hips faster.
The man was thrusting harder and harder, burning his inside at each thrust. That was what he was waiting for, this moment of pain and pleasure that made him forget everything, even that for just a while it was worth it.
His hips, God he felt that his hips were going to break yet he still wanted more, the pain, the pleasure he wanted more everything.
"HARDER!" he screamed to the man.
And harder he got, his head was hitting the wall , all his body was hurting and it felt like hell but at least it felt something.
Hell... maybe this world is another planet's hell.
Hope you liked the fic, It's short but I'll try to do a long one soon (till the day 24 of course).
Anyway I hope my sire is doing well, you're a wonderful sire.
Happy Xmas!