Dear Remus
How do I start this? How do I even begin? I guess I should start at the beginning, but where is that? Was it the time we first saw each other, our first full moon together, or was it our first kiss? Definitely the last one. I can still see James's face when we first told him we were gay, how he laughed. It seemed impossible even to us, didn't it? The womanizer I pretended to be, the quiet, bookworm you were. How could we be together, how could we love each other? I don't know; what I do know is that I did love you. Scratch that I do love you; but we can't see other anymore. It's too dangerous; me being who I am will get you killed faster than be a werewolf ever would. We being what we were, that'll just kill you faster. I'm leaving.
Goodbye, my love
Wishing I could still be yours,
Sirius
Remus read the letter over, and over, unable to register the words written on the page. His body began to shake with tears that wouldn't fall; then he growled, anger welling up inside him. It wasn't fair, Sirius' leaving would kill him, just as when in seventh year Remus had tried to break up with Sirius to save him from his 'furry problem.'
He recalled that day with a a tight lipped smile, he had gone to the fence by the Shrieking Shack, since he knew Sirius would have gotten his letter at breakfast, the shack would be the last place any of the Marauders would expect him to be. He had been wrong.
He had been standing under the tree for half an hour when suddenly, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, and pulled him into a passionate but angry embrace. Sirius pulled back, and hissed into his ear, "How dare you, try to leave me, because of"
Remus had cut him off with another kiss just as angry, "How dare you try to stop me." he said back seriously, "I'm dangerous to be around."
"So am I." he had said back, just as seriously as he traced his lovers' face, stopping at his eyes, "You're eyes are the colour of chestnuts."
Remus had smiled a sad little, smile, "Sirius."
"Sssh, I know what you're going to say, but the fact still remains I'm just as dangerous as you are, maybe even more so."
That had been their first fight; but this was the worst. This wasn't some passing thing, Sirius had obviously planned this out, while they had still been together.
"How could he do this to me. I should have known, him leaving for an unknown place on such short notice, mission for the Order, yeah right. How could I not have seen this coming?"
"Moony? Moony? What's wrong? You look as if..."he trailed off, noticing the letter, clutched tight in his friends' hand.
"As if what?" Remus asked almost mockingly, "As if I lost my best friend?" he started shaking again, real tears flowing hard, and fast down his face.
"Remus," said James looking empathic, "I'm so sorry." he sat down next to his friend, putting his arm around him as he did so.
"D, d," he paused gulping for air, "Did you know?"
James stayed silent for a minute, "No. I wish I had though, I would have told you, or made him stay. Something, he had no right to do this to you." he said quietly stroking his friends hair like he was a little child, "It'll be all right Remmie, I promise." James whispered as Remus fell into a troubled sleep right next to him.
"He'll come back." James said, more for his own benefit than for anyone else's, "I hope."