It wasn't fair. Nope, not fair at all.
What wasn't fair?
…
When did it stop being fair?
It stopped being fair the day she realized Marshall was Marshmallow, only without the edge. It stopped being fair the day she first looked at his goofy pajamas and found them endearing as opposed to absolutely ridiculous. It stopped being fair when he would come back with a smile on his face after she verbally assaulted him. It stopped being fair the day she let him see her cry. It stopped being fair the first time she leaned on him in their partnership. It stopped being fair the day he kissed her at the party, and she didn't want him to stop. And it really stopped being fair the day she told him matter-of-factly that he couldn't leave her.
Why wasn't it fair?
It wasn't fair because she didn't need this. She had her job, and somewhere along the way her job began to include her best friend. It wasn't fair because if she really thought about it her first instinct would be to protect Marshall, not her witness. It's not fair because her life would not function without him in it. It wasn't fair that her biggest fear was disappointing him, which was something she was bound to do. It wasn't fair that he would tell her she could never disappoint him. It wasn't fair that he was content to hold her hand when she needed it and be a punching bag the next minute. It wasn't fair that he was a much better person than her but never acknowledged it. It wasn't fair that he wanted nothing more than what she could offer him when he deserved much more. It wasn't fair that she didn't have the strength to push him away like everyone else. It wasn't fair that he could always here what she didn't say. It wasn't fair that it could never be just sex between them; it wasn't fair that it couldn't be something she understood.
It wasn't fair that she loved him. And it definitely wasn't fair that he loved her.
But life isn't fair, and she knew that better than anyone.
What should she do?
Admit him. Tell him she loved him and knew he loved her too.
What would she do?
Accept the fact that he did these things for her because he wanted to be there for her. Accept the fact he wanted nothing more than what she could offer him.
Love him. In her own way.
And try not to kiss him (at minimum) senseless at work one day.
Yeah…that too.