It felt like every part of Emma was on fire. Her muscles were straining, lungs burning, heated blood pumping through her body. She was navigating the foliage of Storybrooke's surrounding forest quickly. A tree to her right exploded, sending a few small splinters in Emma's direction. She urged her body to go faster, hurdling over a rock outcropping and taking shelter in the small alcove the boulders provided.
Looking back on the series of events that had led Emma to this point in time, the woman was struck with how odd it was that all of the consequences bearing down on her were the direct result of starting a late night radio station.
6 months ago
Emma was bored. After months of magic and curses and witches - not to mention that one particularly evil boy that turned out to be her son's great-grandfather - Emma was back to being plain ol' Sheriff of Storybrooke, Maine.
Or "Boringbrooke" as Emma had started calling it as of late. She hadn't so much as broken up a bar fight in weeks, and the last time she had fired her weapon was a week and a half ago when she and David accidentally got drunk really during a camping trip and decided to shoot the empty beer bottles.
It was hardly safe, and yet she and her father had both reveled in it - and vowed to not tell anyone else about their dangerous and highly illegal activity. That slight touch of reckless behavior; a break from their regular and suddenly stagnant lives. At their core David and Emma both longed for adventure, craved it even, despite Emma's half-hearted attempts to deny it. Neither Prince nor Princess Charming did well just sitting. They had always fought, and run, and triumphed even under the most ridiculous of circumstances.
This shared nature had brought the Emma and David closer, even as the awkward rift between Emma and Snow persisted. It wasn't that Emma didn't like Snow, but rather she had a difficult time resolving her own relationship with her mother's dual natures. Snow was not only her mother, but also Snow-fucking-White fairytale princess, in addition to being Mary Margaret. And Mary Margaret had been one of the few truly close friends Emma had in her nearly 30 years of life (Oh God, was she almost 30 already?). But with the resurgence of Snow's memories and personality, Emma's former friendship with the woman had virtually ceased to exist. It wasn't that Emma didn't want a relationship or a friendship with her mother, it was just that she had no idea where to start. While she could find common ground with her dad, Snow had an uncanny ability to drive Emma crazy.
It wasn't that Snow was entirely naive about the world, but she was naive about Emma. Where she and David had shared and bonded over their differing childhood hardships, their mutual fears about not being able to protect their families, and had even been able to talk about why Emma still felt betrayed by he and Snow, none of these topics had even been broached around Snow, save for Emma's "Orphan Confession" on Neverland. It was almost as if David had taken that moment as a turning point to step up and take responsibility for his action, even as Snow used that moment to further bury and ignore her guilt behind platitudes about "best chances" and "goodness". For Emma, as long as Snow try to hide from her own mistakes and bad calls, what hope did either of them have for a fulfilling relationship as family?
What's more were the very different perspectives the two women had on life. While Emma's upbringing and early adult life had been continually trying, Snow's had been a life of privilege. Even the stint as a bandit didn't genuinely mirror Emma's own experiences as a thief. Snow was beloved by the people. She disrupted Regina's reign, but she never stole from the general masses or merchants because her loyal subjects were more than willing to share what they had. Emma in contrast had broken into abandoned summer homes, and motel rooms. She had stolen jewelry, clothing, food, whatever she needed or could pawn for money. She had even stolen from other's like her - homeless, desperate, starving. She had thrown a few sucker punches at those weaker than her, and stolen what little they had because that was the only way Emma had known how to survive.
Neal had let her take the fall for his crime, but it wasn't like she hadn't committed several similar crimes before and with Neal.
Thinking about her relationship with Snow was starting to give Emma a headache. At least Snow and Regina had made peace. It was one less thing she had to worry about - though Emma would kill to break up a fight between the two at this exact moment. At least it would get her out of the office.
Emma sighed again. She had taken to doing the late-night shifts at the Sheriff's station. Besides herself, she had officially deputized David, Mulan, Robin, and Killian to help split the workload of more consistently patrolling the town, and helping with the reconstruction of areas damaged during the fight against Zelena.
Emma had never see Regina laugh so hard as when her list of intended deputies was handed to the newly reinstated Mayor.
When Regina had once more regained her composure she stated, "you want my support in hiring your father, a sexually frustrated warrior, my ex-boyfriend and ex-thief, and your ex-boyfriend and ex-pirate? Storybrooke should feel safer already." Regina said her piece in a teasing manner, but without malice.
The two had become friends. Sort of. They were, at the very least, friendly towards each other. And at the most...
Well let's just say Mulan wasn't the only sexually frustrated officer employed by the City of Storybrooke.
And now Emma was bored and horny.
She seriously needed something besides trashcan basketball to pass her time. She flipped on the old radio and tried scanning for a station. As usual all that was on this late at night was the 24 classical music station (this had come with the curse and despite a formal investigation into why and how the station continued to play music, no answer had been found) and Ruby's little side project that played nothing but rave music.
Neither option was what Emma was in the mood for, or preferred. She flipped between the two stations praying that something she knew or liked would come on, but barring a sampling of some Top 40 song on Ruby's Rave Station, Emma couldn't identify a single song. More to the point, the rave music was giving her a headache, and the classical music was sure to put her to sleep.
Emma flipped the radio back off, leaned back in her desk chair and let out a resigned sigh,"Storybrooke seriously needs some better radio DJ's"
A light bulb went off in Emma's head; she could have a radio show. She could be a DJ. How hard could it possibly be? Emma had some background in setting up the radio equipment because of an ex-boyfriend who fancied himself king of podcasting, and the sheriff was certain Ruby could help her out with any major hiccups.
Brilliant idea in hand, Emma outline her technical plans and ideas for playlists for the rest of her shift. 7am came quickly for the focused sheriff and by the time Mulan had shown up to relieve her, Emma's plan was in place.
"You look like you've been busy, did something happen last night?" Mulan commented, gesturing to pile of papers spread out on Emma's desk.
"No, no, but I am a genius Mulan"
The warrior quirked her eyebrow at Emma's response, "Really? A genius? This from the woman that had her ass handed to her by Regina, Henry and your father during Mills-Swan-White trivia and game night."
"Swan-Mills-White", Emma corrected, "And hey! I beat Snow didn't I? Besides, trivia is total bullshit. Henry's had that game his whole life because apparently Regina doesn't believe in any other board games beside chess and trivia, so of course he and Regina are going to know all of the answers. It's not actually a measure of intelligence", Emma defended.
"Says the loser", Mulan quipped. Emma let out an angry huff and Mulan allowed the to stew in her obvious embarrassment. "Oh come on, you're fine I was only teasing." Mulan finally said, playfully shoving the sheriff before sitting down at her own desk and swiveling her chair to face Emma again, "so why are you a genius?"
Emma's "angry" demeanor vanished instantly as she grabbed a couple of the loose leafs of paper littering her desk, "I'm starting my own radio show"
Mulan stared blankly at Emma, "what's a radio show? Is this something you do with our radios? For communication? Or is it like how the boxes and cars always play classical music?"
Emma sighed. Mulan had been a resident of Storybrooke for a few months, having shown up right at the end of the Zelena fiasco with her magic-repellant blade. It was a great advantage during the battle, and after examining the blade, Regina was able to replicate the enchantment for Emma and Charming's blades as well. It may not have been the deciding factor in the battle, but it was very likely the reason for the few casualties and injuries sustained.
Despite having resided in town for a few months, Mulan was still getting used to and introduced to this world's technologies. She understood what a radio was, but only in relation to the police work she had done thus far.
"Yes, sort of, well, not really. Basically there are different types of radio and radios. Ours are used specifically for communication, but there are some that are used for entertainment - like the classical music station. I want to create a channel that plays lots of different kinds of music and I'll also talk about things that are happening in Storybrooke, events, people, stories, that sort of stuff."
"Like Gossip Girl?"
How Mulan could make a Gossip Girl reference but not know what a radio show was baffled Emma, "Mulan, first question, when did you start watching Gossip Girl, and second how can you even watch that trash? I mean I get that it has attractive people on it and it can get kind of addicting but I'm pretty sure -" Emma paused seeing her friend's face.
Mulan was blushing a vibrant pink, and Emma knew instantly why Mulan had been watching Gossip Girl. "You've got a celebrity crush!" Emma pointed her finger at her friend in mocking accusation, "Who is it? Who is it?"
"Stop it, it's nothing," Mulan paused and Emma just stared, clearly not buying that line for a minute, "nope, not buying that for a second. I'm your best friend and roommate, you have to tell me these things" she stated. After a beat Mulan finally caved, "fine I like Blair, okay? She's cute."
"Ahhh a Leighton Meester fan are we? Interesting that she is a brunette with long, princess curls - not unlike a certain brunette we both know" Emma commented with a sing-song voice.
Mulan glared for a moment, before sighing, "We've been over this Em, Aurora is still in mourning over Philip."
"Mulan, it's been 4 months since Philip was killed in monkey-form, and 3 months since Aurora got her monkey-status reversed. Look I'm not saying jump her bones, but not-avoiding her might be a good place to start. It's got to be lonely for her right now, what with Snow giving her the cold shoulder because of the Zelena incident, Ashley being too busy with baby Alex, and her former best friend - that would be you by the way - continually ignoring her. The only person she see's on a regular basis is her kid and while children can be great, when they're your only focus it can get a little monotonous."
"That's not true I was there for Philomena's naming ceremony - I am her godmother you know." Mulan defended.
"Yes I know, I was there too, but when was the last time you saw them outside of a town event? Also sidebar, as her godmother, why the hell did you let Aurora name her daughter Philomena?"
"It's a lovely name. And a tribute to her father."
"It's also an old-person name," Emma quipped, "and just terrible. There's not even a good nickname you can use instead."
"Not true, Aurora has taken to calling her Mina and Lolo." Mulan responded
"Well that's not so bad I guess. I don't know about Lolo, but this is really besides the point: you're in love with her and you won't even speak to her. I know it hasn't been long since Philip dies, but seriously have you seen the way she looks at you?"
Mulan opened her mouth to speak but Emma waved at her and cut her off. "I'm just saying that you literally quested to find and return her heart and she let you put her heart back in her chest. It doesn't get more romantic or gayer than that. You just need to tell her how you feel."
"Says the Savior who's constantly making magic with, flirting with, and co-parenting a child with the object of her desires, yet refuses to act upon anything like a complete idiot", Mulan mumbled at Emma.
"Hey, no changing the subject, we're not talking about me here", Emma protested.
"Turnabout's fair play... Miss Swan" Mulan lowered her voice, making it husky and altogether doing a pretty terrible impression of Regina
"Ugh don't do that," Emma squirmed, "that isn't even what she sounds like. It more..."
"Like sex on a stick? or an eargasm?" Mulan provided.
"What? No! What the hell have you been watching? Who's teaching you these things? Is it Tinkerbell? I always figured she was a wild and bad influence", Emma rambled.
Mulan laughed, "Says she-who-curses-like-a-sailor and discharged her firearm while intoxicated."
"Shit I never should have told you bout that," Emma deflected, "Forget being invited to our next camping trip."
Mulan continued to laugh, "No it wasn't Tinkerbell, and frankly you're only jumping to that conclusion because you think she's somehow your competition for Regina now that she and Robin have broken up. She's not your competition, by the way, David caught Tink and Ruby hooking up in the back of Tink's Subaru last week, so I'm pretty sure she's not your competition."
Emma huffed, "I am not competing for Regina. God would everyone leave me alone. It's not like I'm in love with her or anything. I mean I recognize that she is a very beautiful woman - I certainly wouldn't turn her down - and she has a sort of allure to her. She makes great tapas, is so good with Henry - honestly the woman is a godsend, thank goodness had her for the first ten years, I would have been a wreck. Oh and she does this thing where sometimes, we'll be bantering and she'll throw a really good zinger my way, but I know it's always in jest because she does this little thing with the corner of her mouth. It's not even close to a smile, or even a smirk, but it's just a little clue that I know she enjoys our banter as much as I do."
Mulan just blinked back at Emma before bursting out laughing, "oh my gods Emma, you have it so bad. You want Madam Mayor's Muffin so badly."
"Dear Lord never call it her muffin again. Forget that slang, just straight up forget it; that's disgusting. I don't want anyone's muffin. I'm pretty sure I'm never eating another muffin again in my life now. Regina and I are just friends and I am perfectly content with that."
"More like perfectly delusional," Mulan persisted, "Anyway you probably need to go right? Go get some sleep or work on your radio idea. Better yet work up the guts to go kiss Regina and talk to her about the massive lady boner you've got for her.
"Annnd that's my cue to exit. Seriously, are you going to Urban Dictionary to find these terms? 'Lady boner'? What's next are you gonna start calling me 'bro'? You need to get off the internet." Emma picked up her jacket and headed for the door, "Have a wonderful shift! I'll see you for lunch at home yeah?"
"Sure sounds good!" Mulan waved goodbye as Emma exited the office.
Emma pulled into a parking space in front of Radio Rangers, Storybrooke's version of a radio shack and owned by Chip and Dale Ardilla, twin brothers from Regina's original homeland, Lumeria, in the Enchanted Forest. Emma was pretty sure Regina and the twins were distantly related 3rd cousins or something like that.
The little bell above the door rung as Emma entered the shop. The shop was mid-sized and close to empty. Chip was cleaning some equipment behind the character while Dale was helping two gentleman with something complicated-looking involving wires and switches.
Emma moved quickly to the counter, greeting the Ardilla brother, "Good morning Chip, how are things?"
"Generally slow and altogether average. You here on police business or are you just that bored that you felt like stopping by to look at electronic equipment?" Chip asked good humoredly, polishing one of the brass knobs on the glass display case with the rag in his hands.
"The latter actually, I'm looking to get some broadcasting equipment. Something basic, but enough to start a late night radio station." Emma responded.
Chip was surprised, but recovered quickly, "Taking up a new hobby? Didn't take you for the DJ type Emma. What kind of show are you gonna put on?"
"A little bit of everything. Some themed playlists, some request hours, some talking topics. I'm hoping to get some people from around town to come on the show after a few run throughs. I'm kind of willing to let the show grow in whatever direction it wants to." Emma explained her planned, "I'll record and air the show on the late night and replay the show during the day."
"Sounds like you have everything worked out then."
"Everything but the equipment. And that, my friend is where you come in."
"Well Sheriff let's see what we can find for you. Follow me." Chip walked out from behind the character and headed towards an aisle.
Emma and Chip moved towards the back of the shop, passing the two gentleman Emma had seen earlier arguing with Dale,
"Everything okay here Dale?" Chip asked his brother.
"Yes, we're fine. These two are just trying to hustle me out of some electrical equipment." Dale explained, before quickly adding, "not actually hustling me Sheriff, just haggling. There is no thieving or any illegal activity happening here. Hand to God!
Dale raised his hand, his brother playfully shoving his shoulder, "You don't even believe in God you asshole. Sheriff you better keep an eye on this one, he's a troublemaker" Chip stated with a teasing tone in his voice, "Come on Sheriff. Best leave these fools to themselves, let's go get that equipment.
Forty-five minutes later and Emma was leaving, equipment in hand. Emma was only familiar with the audio recording equipment and Chip had spent about 20 minutes explaining how to hookup the FM transmitter and antenna to all of the audio equipment before Emma decided she was likely going to be consulting Google for help with set up, with Ruby as a back-up plan if even the vast internet failed her.
Emma loaded the parcels into her car, hopped in the drivers seat and drove off towards the two bedroom townhouse she shared with Mulan.
The townhouse was near Storybrooke's downtown district and close enough to the Sheriff's department that Emma was almost never late for her shifts. It was also a 10 minute walk from The Rabbit Hole so when she and Mulan went out to blow off steam, they both could easily manage getting home, no matter how drunk they were.
Emma exited her Bug, leaving the radio equipment in the car. She would be setting the equipment up at the station later and figured that if anyone tried to steal it, it would at least give Emma some actual police work to do. She trudged up the front steps before opening the door, the exhaustion of her night shift finally catching up with her. It was just after 9am and Emma figured she could squeeze in a few hours of sleep before Mulan showed up for lunch. Emma barely made it the living room couch before plopping down and falling asleep.