Hi!

This is my first challenge for LightClan. This is a quote challenge, so basically I get a quote and get to interpret it as I like.

The quote is:

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

-Vincent van Gogh.

Enjoy!

Fireblaze was sitting silently in her warrior vigil. The Leaf-bare night was chilly, freezing wind blew through her fur.

But Fireblaze didn't feel any cold. Her excitement was burning from inside, warming her up more than any nest or den would ever be able to.

Pride filled her.

I did it! I managed to become a warrior!

I'll be a warrior who will help her Clan until the end, She vowed to herself.

She had succeeded in her dream since she joined the Clan. To become a warrior.

It wasn't an easy path to walk, all the way from loner to warrior.

No.

It was the exact opposite, full of struggles and hardships. And it was a very, very long path.

Fireblaze could barely believe she had actually changed so much.

In the beginning, she was just Blaze. An unimportant, ordinary loner.

Living alone. Sleeping alone. Eating alone. Fighting alone.
And ready to die alone.

And then she met the Clan cats. That's when everything changed.

The memories flooded her head, as colorful and exact as when she lived them.

Blaze was crushed underneath the large, black and white creature. A badger.

The badger's weight on her chest, combined with it's thick, smelly fur covering her nose and mouth, made it almost impossible to breath. The several scratches on Blaze's body burned as if they were on fire.

The air from her lungs was finishing. She couldn't breathe. She was going to suffocate. Her lungs were aching, begging for air, and Blaze began to feel dizzy.

What a dumb way to die, thought Blaze bitterly. Suffocating under a stinky badger.

Blaze started seeing black dots flash, and she knew she was about to die. Hopelessness filled her, washing over her wave after wave.

Suddenly Blaze heard yowls, and the weight disappeared from her chest. For a couple moments, Blaze could do nothing but take in large, shaky breaths.

Then she looked around to see who her saviors were.

There were five cats, one she cat and four toms. They were all lithe and thin, their ribs poking out, and their thin pelts were laced with scratches.

Well, thought Blaze. They look like me. Skinny. Starving.

One of them, the she-cat, padded up to Blaze.

"Hey, kit," she mewed kindly. "What are you doing here?"

"I-I don't no," stammered Blaze. "That- that badger attacked me and-" Blaze looked at them fearfully, as if she just noticed they were there. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Don't worry," mewed the she-cat gently. "We're not going to hurt you. Now, how old are you exactly?"

"Si- six moons." The fear still hadn't completely disappeared from her voice.

Why do they care how old I am? Wondered Blaze.

One of the toms padded up to the she-cat.

"We do need more apprentices," he mewed quietly. "Maybe we should take her in to the Clan."

The she-cat nodded in agreement. She turned to Blaze. "Come on, we'll take you to our camp, and Stormstar will decide if to let you in to the Clan.

Fireblaze broke out of her memories when she heard a rustle.

She looked around sharply, and spotted Breezefeather, the deputy. Fireblaze narrowed her eyes in confusion. What was she doing here?

Breezefeather noticed Fireblaze's questioning glare, and mewed quietly, "the dirt place."

Fireblaze nodded in understanding and watched as her former mentor padded to the Dirt place.

The memories flooded back.

Blaze became Firepaw, apprentice of WindClan. She had the Clan deputy as mentor.

From what she could catch from other cat's conversations, that was considered a huge honor. And Firepaw was proud of her mentor. And of herself.

For once, Firepaw was happy, content. She thought everything would go smoothly from then on.

She would train, and then become a warrior. Maybe even sometime in the future a leader.

But she was wrong.

If she would only know how wrong she was going to be.

From then on things only kept going down, getting worse. And worse. And worse.

"Come on, Firepaw! Wake up! I'm taking you training!"

Firepaw jerked awake at Breezefeather's whisper.

Today is my first day training! She realized excitedly. I'm going to be the best apprentice in the Clan!

Firepaw quickly got out of her nest and followed Breezefeather out of camp.

"What are we doing?" asked Firepaw, barely able to contain her excitement.

"Running," replied Breezefeather. "And then hunting."

Huh? Wondered Firepaw. Running? What is that supposed to mean? I know how to run!

Breezefeather stopped, and Firepaw copied her, skidding to halt.

"Now," mewed Breezefeather. "I want to you run a lap, from that rock to the tree."

Firepaw looked up and managed after a couple moments to spot the rock Breezefeather had pointed at. The tree was easier to find, as she could only see one on the whole moor.

"Run," ordered Breezefeather.

Firepaw obeyed, and burst into a run, trying to move her legs as quickly as possible. She wanted to impress Breezefeather.

"Stretch your legs more!"

Firepaw arched her back and stretched her legs more.

She was starting to get tired. Her breath was coming in gasps, and her legs were aching.

And she was barely half way to the tree.

"Faster!" shouted Breezefeather.

I'm trying! She thought, frustrated.

Firepaw urged her legs to go faster, but she couldn't get them to listen to her.

She was to tired. Her chest ached from the effort it took to breath. Her legs were almost shaking from weariness.

Firepaw reached the tree, and collapsed beside it.

"Come on," yelled Breezefeather. "Now come back! You can't be tired already!"

Firepaw shook her head. She couldn't run anymore. She barely managed to run till here.

She got up and walked slowly towards Breezefeather, her head low and her tail dragging in back of her. She was still breathing heavily, and her heart was pounding so strongly she was surprised Breezefeather couldn't hear it.

"What do you think you were doing?" scolded Breezefeather. "I told you to run. Why didn't you?"

Firepaw's head bowed even lower. "I was to tired," she whispered, ashamed in herself.

"To tired?" Breezefeather looked shocked. "A kit could run more then that! Usually apprentices do that just for warm-up, and after that the real running starts!"

Shame filled Firepaw.

Why couldn't I run more? She asked herself. Why did I get tired so quickly?

I wanted to be the best apprentice. I guess that's not going to happen now.

You can still be better at other things, she told herself. Running isn't the only thing there is to do.

That made her feel a bit better.

But only a bit.

Breezefeather huffed. "Come on, let's go hunting. I hope you'll be better in that."

Firepaw followed her mentor, head low.

Fireblaze snapped out of the memory. She had heard another noise.

Oh, she realized. It's just Breezefeather coming back from the dirt-place.

Fireblaze let herself be swept into her memories once more.

Firepaw followed Breezefeather into camp.

Breezefeather held two rabbits in her jaws.

Firepaw held none.

She couldn't manage to catch any.

Breezefeather dropped her rabbits on the fresh-kill pile, and then turned to Firepaw.

"You can take something to eat."

Firepaw could clearly detect disapproval in her tone and eyes. She was unhappy that Firepaw hadn't caught anything.

It's not my fault! Firepaw wanted to wail to her. I'm trying! Don't think I'm not! I'm just... not managing.

Anyway, it's only my first time hunting. It must take time to learn how to hunt.

But still, Breezefeather's disapproving mew rang in her ears. "How did you miss that rabbit? It was practically a mouse tail away. And that lapwing even a three moon old kit would catch!"

But I'm trying, Firepaw thought in despair. Those were also the words she had told Breezefeather after she was rebuked for not catching anything. "I'm trying."

They hadn't convinced Breezefeather.

What does she think about me? I'm sure not good things.

Firepaw grabbed a large lapwing from the fresh-kill pile. She was starving. Though she hadn't succeeded in anything she did that day, she had still strained herself by trying, and that had made her very hungry.

Firepaw dragged the lapwing to the apprentice's den, and settled down near it to eat her lapwing.

Another apprentice padded up to the apprentice's den.

Rabbitpaw, if Firepaw remembered correctly.

Firepaw brightened up a bit. She would like to make new friends, and get for the first time tha day to talk to someone who wasn't shouting or rebuking her.

"Do you want to share?" Firepaw called to Rabbitpaw, pointing with her tail towards the lapwing.

Rabbitpaw spared her a cold glance. "Why would I want to share with you, kittypet?"

"I'm not a kittypet!" Firepaw defended herself. "Why are you saying that?"

What got into her?

"Oh, so that's why you couldn't run even one lap, or catch anything? At least if you ere born in the Clan, but you're not,!"

Firepaw's mouth went dry. How does she know that? The memory of her failure that day still burned in her mind, and it hurt to think that she had done so poorly.

But she really didn't need someone to remind her of it again. To open up her wounds. To make her feel even worse with herself. She knew that she would get better, but Rabbitpaw wasn't helping that thought.

Rabbitpaw smirked in glee when she saw Firepaw's expression, realizing she hit a nerve. "So it's true?" she taunted. "The whole Clan must know by now. I heard your mentor speaking to mine. I'm sure other cats heard to. They weren't exactly being, to say it gently, quiet." Rabbitpaw's voice held fake sympathy. "I feel bad sooooooooo for you. Why don't you just leave the Clan? It would make it easier for everyone. We don't really need kittypets in our Clan."

"Why don't you just shut up?" offered Firepaw, her voice sounding calm, though inside her thoughts were storming.

How dare she insult me like that? How dare she call me a kittypet? It's not my fault I'm not so good at hunting, or running. How dare she? I'll get better at everything! This is my first day! Won't she even give me a chance!?

"And why don't you just go back to were you came from and not tell my sister what to do?" A new, deep voice reaching her ears, full of scorn and disgust.

Firepaw looked up and saw a tabby tom, glaring at her and sneering.

"You can't tell me to leave the Clan! I have just as much a right to be here as you! Stormstar welcomed me to WindClan!"

"And I'm sure he regrets it now. You're a loser. And you know it."

Firepaw flattened her ears and snarled. "Shut up!"

"You're useless!" added Rabbitpaw.

I know that, thought Firepaw, shoulders sagging. Why did Stormstar let me into the Clan? They're right.

Her heart filled with pain

I don't deserve to be here. I'm sure Stormstar is disappointed in me.

"A kittypet!"

"Why are you being so mean?" whispered Firepaw, voice fell of hurt and disappointment in herself. "Why? What did I ever do to you?"

She didn't receive an answer.

Firepaw raced to the apprentice's den and collapsed in her nest, body quivering with the sobs that racked through her.

Firepaw closed her eyes and willed the comforting sleep take her. To let her forget her problems.

And it did.

Her breaths slowed down, and soon soft snores came from her as she fell into a deep, deep sleep...

Fireblaze jerked awake.

She was so deep in her thoughts before that she hadn't noticed her eyes were closing and she had drifted into sleep.

You need to stay awake! She scolded herself. This is your warrior vigil! You're not allowed to sleep!

I have to make sure I don't fall asleep again.

Firepaw got up on her legs and started walking around the clearing.

There's no way I'll fall back asleep like this.

A loud snore came from the warriors den. Firepaw smiled.

Rabbitfang.

She and Rabbitfang had made up recently. Rabbitfang apologized for the way she had acted as an apprentice, and Fireblaze, forgave her.

When they were apprentices, everything was totally different from the way their relationships are now. Completely different.

All because she wasn't good at anything, hunting, fighting.

Nothing.

A moon passed from when Firepaw was made an apprentice.

She had made no progress in her training.

She was still bad at everything.

She had managed to run two laps when they went running, but only barely. The other apprentices ran almost five.

The only piece of prey she had caught was a scrawny rabbit, who was probably to old and weak to run quickly at all.

When they went battle practice, even the new apprentices, who were apprentices for only a couple days, Featherpaw and Lightpaw, beat her easily.

But Firepaw never gave up.

She kept trying, and trying, though it was with no result.

But she still kept trying, until one incident.

Firepaw padded into camp, jaws empty as usual.

Rabbitpaw was sitting in the entrance to the apprentice's den, and when she saw Firepaw, her lip curled in scorn.

But instead of just ignoring Firepaw, like she usually did she padded up to her and mewed, her voice dripping with disdain and disgust;

"Oh, look who doesn't have prey again! Firepaw! What happened? Are all the rabbits hiding? Or are you to lazy to catch them and rather let us do all the work for you?"

"Listen Rabbitpaw," mewed Firepaw quietly, trying to control her anger. "I'm trying, but I'm not managing. It's not my fault. And if you can't see that, then just be quiet, 'cause I don't want to talk to you."

"Oh but I want to talk to you," purred Rabbitpaw.

"Listen Rabbitpaw, I'm tired. Just leave me alone. I'm going to sleep."

"Why would you be tired?" asked Rabbitpaw with fake surprise. "After all, you did nothing today but play around and be lazy. How can you be tired?"

"Rabbitpaw, I'm sick of you. Just shut up and leave me alone. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not being lazy!"

"And many times do I have to tell you to just leave this Clan?" spat Rabbitpaw. "You're not good at anything. Everyone hates you, you don't have even one friend. You'll never become a warrior. You should stop even trying, because you will never succeed."

Firepaw stood frozen at Rabbitpaw's words.

She had always been mean to her, but she had never mewed something as harsh as she did now.

But she's right, thought Firepaw in defeat. I'm not going to ever become a warrior, am I? Is there any point in keeping on to try, and then failing all the time? I don't think so. I'm never going to become a warrior, no matter what I do. If I keep trying, I won't, and if I don't keep trying, I also won't. Just give up.

Firepaw slunk to the apprentice's den, ready to stay there for the rest of her life, as she would never move to the warrior's den, and went to sleep, not planning on training the next day.

And when Breezefeather came to call her the next morning, she didn't wake up.

And so it went on.

Firepaw kept dropping out of training, she had lost hope of ever becoming a warrior, and saw no point in waking up early each morning to train.

Now Rabbitpaw really was right. Firepaw did nothing all day but sit on her tail, and clear out nests.

Firepaw had a talk with Stormstar, but it didn't help.

If something, she was now even more convinced that she'll never become a warrior. Stormstar couldn't convince her because she couldn't think of any good argument.

There just was none.

Moons passed like that.

Rabbitpaw and Harepaw became Rabbitfang and Haretuft.

Firepaw stayed Firepaw.

An apprentice forever.

The only reason she didn't leave WindClan was because she knew she couldn't survive on her own, if she didn't know how to hunt.

Stormstar tried everything to convince her to keep training, she even offered that Firepaw would become a medicine cat apprentice.

Firepaw refused. She had told Stormtar that the only thing she wanted to be was a warrior, and if she couldn't be that she rathered being nothing, as much as she wanted to get to help her Clan.

Fireblaze broke out of her memory. She shook her head.

I can't believe I used to be like that.

Fireblaze let out a huge yawn. She was tired.

Fireblaze looked up at the sky. The stars were starting to disappear, and the sky was lightening.

But it wasn't dawn yet. She had a bit longer to stay up.

Well, at least I didn't stay the same forever. Something changed me in the end;

Firepaw was walking around the moor, slowly, as if she had all the time in the world.

Well, she sort of did.

That was when she saw it.

A young lapwing, soft feathers covering it's body, flapping desperately with his wings.

It's trying to fly, realized Firepaw. But it's not managing.

For a second, Firepaw was tempted to catch the helpless bird, and for once bring home prey.

What's the point? She asked herself bitterly. Bringing prey home once won't help anything. I should just let that lapwing live.

Just look at it, Firepaw thought in wonder, watching the little bird keep attempting to fly. It'll just never give up, will it?

Firepaw crept closer to the bird, wanting to get a better look of it.

The lapwing seemed to have smelled her presence. It started flapping it's wings more vigorously, and let out alarmed calls.

I'm not going to hurt you, little buddy, Firepaw wanted to tell him, but of course, she couldn't.

She sat there watching the bird flap it's wings, and then when it let out frustrated noises when it didn't manage.

Suddenly, the little lapwing rose in the air, and let out a cry of triumph.

It flapped it's wings, and managed to get higher in the air, though it was in a rather clumsy way.

There you go! Thought Firepaw, happy for the little bird. You didn't give up, and now you managed. We should all try to be like that.

Firepaw's thoughts suddenly stopped when she realized what she was mewing.

We should all try to be like that... Well you're not exactly doing that, are you? You gave up when you weren't succeeding in your training.

Are you really going to let that bird be better then you?

The answer for that was obvious.

It's time to go back to training.

Firepaw trained as hard as she could.

She still wasn't good at anything, but she wasn't willing to give up again, and that's what made the difference. She just kept trying and trying, until she managed in whatever she wanted to do.

She trained with Breezefeather day and night, in heat and cold, and slowly slowly, after a moon of training, she began to make progress.

She could run more then she used to, and also could run faster.

Being faster also meant that she could catch rabbits more easily, and started bringing down prey quiet often.

"Fireblaze! Fireblaze! Fireblaze!"

The newly-named Fireblaze closed her eyes in content and joy.

She had completed her dream. She had become a warrior, even with all the time and effort it took.

Now she was as good a warrior as the rest of her clanmates.

Even better, maybe. Her clanmates didn't have to go through what she had to become a warrior. They didn't have the knowledge and wisdom she had learned from her hard life.

And it's all because that one little bird. That's the only reason she's standing here today, basking in her clan-mates congratulations.

Fireblaze pulled out of her memory as she felt sun-light flood her back.

She looked up.

The sun was slowly rising, ridding of the stars and moon, and bringing a new day into the world.

A new life, realized Fireblaze. Not a new day.

A life where I will be useful. A life in which I will be happy.

So how was it?

Good? Bad?

Please tell me what you thought in a review.