Chapter 1

We were enemies. Two sides of a coin, fighting for dominance over the other. My mission was to capture him and bring him down, his was to survive. I've heard the rumors, that he can kill anyone with anything, that he has no emotion whatsoever, and that he is evil. Spawned from hell itself they say. And when I found him, as soon as I broke into his house with my rifle trained on his head, I saw tears. No blood, no yellow eyes, no sign of a killer. Yet he fit the mold of what I was looking for. A light green bear with military garb and a green beret. But instead of death I saw innocence. Was this the psychopathic killer that I was assigned to kill?

My name is Damian, a resident of Happy Tree Land for 21 years now. Last night granted me no sleep as I thought about my previous missions. I've served the Woodland Alliance agency of Tree Land for almost 2 years now, and every mission I've been through has caused me internal strife and a heavy heart. It was the same ritual: Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, talk with people, kill people, hurt families, go home, shower, eat dinner, go to sleep. And each time seemed harder than the next. My job entails me to search for missing people, kill specific terrorists, rescue hostages, and or chat with the worlds rulers. But it wasn't like I enjoyed my job. Sure, the adrenaline rush was enough to send me through the roof at times, and hanging with my comrades provided some fun, but I never enjoyed the bloodshed and destruction I had to do.

BBZZZZZZZTT. BBZZZZZZZTT. BBZZZZZZZTT.

There goes the alarm, 8:30 am. Time to get up. I rose from my damned spring mattress. It's Saturday, my only day off and I plan to relax as much as possible before more blood tomorrow. A quick yawn, look out the window, scratch my head and I'm off to the shower. The water was freezing my dark blue fur. It was oddly enough extra cold this morning, go figure. I got my squrielly ass out and dressed into some gothic tripps straight outta Hot Topic and a t-shirt with the Avenged Sevenfold logo. Brushed my hair, let it hang over my left eye, put some eyeliner on and hit the breakfast table. I passed my computer and checked messages, most just talk about last night's World of Warcraft raid. One email from a friend of mine caught my attention. The flower girl next door wanted to spend a day with me?

"She'd better not be taking me to see the latest cleaning supplies..." I thought to myself. Don't get me wrong, Petunia was nice enough. But a little crazy.

I figured I'd pay her a visit. We were good friends, but nothing romantic. I promised myself I wouldn't involve anyone with my life. Besides, ever since the superhero Splendid left her for a life of heroism, I became the only one she could cry on and whatnot. She would never talk about her other friends for some reason, and my mission stories seemed to cheer her up. I left my house, forgetting to eat, and knocked on her door. Her pink friend answered, laughing about something. I peeked inside, seeing all her friends gathered around. Loads of balloons were blown and banners swayed saying 'Happy Birthday Petunia'.

"Oh crap."

Was it her birthday? Did I forget already? The pink chipmunk must've noticed since she lightly slapped my cheek. "Hey silly! It's her birthday today! Don't tell me you don't remember?" She said, a little too cheerfully. I stared blankly. Do I just tell her I forgot? Finally I answered, "Unfortunately..." I was met with another playful slap. I grabbed her wrist. "No more." I told her. She just giggled and dragged me in.

"So, I guess since you forgot it was today, you also forgot a gift for her?" She asked. I just nodded, damning myself for being ignorant. She pointed to a table with party supplies. "Well, at least you can help us decorate." I sighed. Damn you Damian, damn you. "Where is she now?" I asked.

"Who?" She responded.

"Petunia. Where's she at?"

"Oh." Another giggle. Another goddamn giggle. "She's out for a bit, hanging with Cuddles and Toothy a bit. I'm keeping them out so they can keep HER out."

"Clever." I tried to hide my sarcasm.

I walked over to the table full of deflated balloons and wrapping papers. So this must be what the email was about. If I had read it a few days back, maybe I would've remembered this day in the first place. But I had to work, so it didn't matter. The stereo started playing one of my favorite songs so I began to softly headbang while working. I blew balloons, I put up banners, I decorated with the damn streamers, and I had one of those partyblower things that noone knows the name of. This kept on for about an hour until party time, and it was the most mundane hour I've ever spent. Finally, the purple beaver entered the house saying 'Turn the lights out, get ready, hide everyone.' I took my place behind a sofa with a light green squriell with candy stuck to his fur. His breath smelled minty, enough to burn my nostrils. The lights went out, and everyone went quiet. The door opened...

"SURPRISE!!" Went the room.

Of course, she wasn't surprised. But she looked convincing. The party was underway after a bit of talking and such. Cake was eaten and songs were sung. I was about ready to take off when Petunia grabbed me almost by the throat. "Hey Damian! Nice to see you actually made it." I just shrugged, knowing of my reputation to not arrive at public parties. She held on to my arm too tight.

"I noticed you forgot about today.." She said sweetly. What was she so happy about? Oh, birthday. Right. I pulled a lollipop off my ass and threw it away, not bothering to wonder where it came from.

"I'm sorry Petunia, I did forget." I looked down. I didn't expect to hear her get angry. It would be like hearing that Barney the Dinosaur character screaming obcene language. Never happens. She just met my gaze with a gleefull expression, a kiss on the cheek, then she's off to talk to friends and such.

"Well fuck." I said, a little too loudly.

The party finished and people went home. Everyone exchanged good-byes and left. I went back home, stripped to boxers and jumped into bed. Tomarrow is Sunday, which means back to work.

I'm so looking forward to it...