Characters: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler

Setting: After Planet of the Dead (Before Waters of Mars and End of Time)

Note: Somewhat loosely based on the Pineapple Episode of HIMYM, definitely do not need to watch to understand, just giving credit where it's due. Speaking of which, I own nothing of Doctor Who or its characters.

*The Phone Call*

by Kathryn Hart

The Doctor was feeling abnormally melancholy. He had just learned that very soon he would die. Well, not actually die, but a new man would rise out of his ashes and leave behind everything he treasured in this life. He had lost Donna, Martha, Sarah Jane and Rose. Rose. He left her with his clone to live a long and happy life. He had done it months ago but the image of her kissing someone who was him, but not him, was burned into his brain. He would never see her again. She would have a perfect life, but he would live on alone, without her.

All these things piled up, thus resulting in his current melancholy. He usually hated regenerations that felt so sentimental, but right now he just wanted to wallow in it. He needed a drink. Something strong enough to make him forget, at least for a little while.

Time Lords are immune to alcoholic states, almost. There was one powerful substance that could knock even the Doctor out. And, as far as he knew, there was only one bar in the universe that had it.

The Doctor shook his head and chuckled sorrowfully as he entered the doors of The Wicked Wolf in the Andromeda Galaxy, on the fifth asteroid orbiting the planet Dunnabarahh. The bar was small, but it was clean and filled with a varied amount of alien races.

The bartender raised his eyebrows in surprise after the Time Lord asked for 'the' drink. The few times he had given the Stohkhoyr alcohol out to unsuspecting humanoids had not ended well. He knew this drink could have the ability to kill those who could barely hold their liquor. At his look the Doctor nodded and pulled out the psychic paper, showing he had the correct gene structure to keep him alive, no matter how drunk he got.

"Alright mister, but if you can't get yourself out of here by 3, you'll be sleeping in the street tonight." The Doctor didn't reply, only motioned for him to hand him the drink. The bartender leaned away from the glass in his hand like he would somehow get intoxicated just by breathing it in. The Doctor took a large swig from it and winced as it burned his throat on the way down.

And that was the last thing he would remember when he woke up the next morning.

The Doctor finished the last of his drink and promptly burst into a coughing fit. The last time he had done this was when he and Koshkei. . .the Master, back when they were friends in the Academy together. They had snuck out of their Temporal Mechanics class and ended up so drunk they wound up on another planet and flew a short distance flightship into the planet Ruler's 500 foot monument made exclusively out of Bein Wood, a rare tree found only on a few planets that side of the galaxy. Of course, their actions promptly set it on fire and the two of them barely escaped with their regenerations intact. Safe to say they weren't allowed to leave Gallifrey again for forty years. But what a night it had been! If only he could remember it.

The Doctor trembled as the substance coursed through his veins and began taking control of his body. It was a painful yet incredible feeling that he rarely felt. He cringed in pain and bent over, his forehead nearly touching the bar top. Pretty soon the first stage of the total four caused by the alcohol would start...

"Let's get some noise in here!" The Doctor suddenly shouted, jumping up and throwing off his tie. The other drunk occupants in the room shouted racourously and joined in. The Doctor stumbled over to the music player and used his sonic screwdriver to play a classic old Earth song: Rebel Yell by Billy Idol.

"Last night a little dancer came dancin' to my door.
Last night a little angel came pumpin' on the floor.
She said "Come on baby I got a license for love,
And if it expires pray help from above."

The Doctor began to sing, and something must have happened with the alcohol in his system, because he was quite good. The other inhabitants began to clap in time with the music as he jumped on a table and began to dance. After that lasted about two seconds, he picked himself up off the floor and squeaked as a green-skinned female with purple hair pulled him to her lips. The Doctor closed his eyes and kissed back, imagining he was kissing someone else. A certain someone else.

The next two hours seemed to go by in a blur. Finally stage two of the alcohol kicked in and the Doctor collapsed back on his seat in front of the bartender. The Wicked Wolf was nearly empty now, except for one Slitheen passed out at one table and a pair of Andorians making out in the corner. He asked the bartender, whose name was Tellaveire, for another drink of the potent Stohkhoyr.

"Last one." Tellaveire said. The Doctor nodded. He had gotten over the first stage, which caused all the wild acts he did. Now he was contemplative, moody, and completely and unbearably honest.

"Why'd she leave me in the first place Tel?" The bartender didn't reply, used to hearing many stories of woe over the years. "I lost her. My Rose. But we were close, and as soon as I got her back again, she went and left me." Something in his brain was telling him that wasn't the case, but he kept talking. "I'm going to die, and she won't give a damn, because she won't even know. She'll be with him, having the time of her life." The Doctor took another drink, in absolute misery over his predicament. As the newest dose of alcohol reached his brain he blinked twice, coming up with an idea. "I'll call her. I'll tell her myself." He grabbed a cell phone that was sitting on the seat next to him and punched in a few numbers, his brain not registering that it was impossible to talk to her because she was in a parallel universe.

"Rose? It's me, the Doctor." He hated that his voice slurred slightly, but there wasn't a thing he could do about it. "Not the clone you're with now, but me, the real thing. You shouldn't have gone with him, you should have stayed with me." He yelped in surprise, nearly falling off the bar stool he had sat on. After regaining his balance, he seemed to recall what had really happened that day.. "It's my fault, but what's done is done I guess." He released a deep sigh. "I suppose he can give you more than I ever could. That was my reasoning back then. But I'll go on until my approaching death, wishing I had made a different choice. I should have let you decide, because you would have stayed with me. And now it's too late. You're trapped and I can never see you again." He put his thumb and forefinger to his head, closing his eyes and massaging his temples.

"It was stupid of me to not say it, and. . .and I guess I can say it now, for some reason I always thought that the damage of saying it out loud could be irreparable. Right now I can't remember why I ever thought that." He refused to hesitate, knowing if he didn't say it now, in this condition, the words would never leave his lips.

"Rose Tyler, I love you. Ever since you told me to go ahead with that plan in Downing Street even though you didn't know what it was, and I realised I didn't want to lose you. Ever. I was more single-minded back then. I should have known it would be impossible to keep you by my side forever, even if it was what we both so desperately wanted.

I'm going to die soon, and that was the only thing I wanted to tell you, besides wishing you the best life you could possibly have. I know it was destiny for us to be together, at least for a little while, and blimey what a two years we did have." The Doctor racked his brain for anything else he could say before stage three would kick in.

"Well, that's all I have, everything's been laid out on the table. After all, I could never hide anything from you. Goodbye Rose Tyler, my Bad Wolf." and, without waiting for her reply, slammed the cell phone on the counter and ran to the bathroom as the intense retching of stage three began. He couldn't wait for stage four however. He'd always wanted to play a mean harmonica.

Meanwhile. . .

"Doctor?" Rose was stunned as she laid the phone back into its cradle on the TARDIS console. The Doctor turned to face her as he pulled off the horridly orange space suit. He still had to contact Ida and the boys before their ship got out of range. He glanced at the helmet and grinned, holding it up for Rose to see the imprint of her kiss on the clear visor. He immediately lowered it as he saw the look on her face.

"What, what is it?"

"Doctor, on the phone. . .that was you."

*END*

Want to see what happens? Author Alert me, I'll be referring back to this story in my next titled "The Stone Heart", probably coming out some time this month. Oh and please review :)