Bitter Memories, Dark Regrets

Disclaimer – I do not own Kim Possible.

A/N – My first fan fiction. The parts in italic are memories.

Dr. Elizabeth Director sat at her desk in the main headquarters of Global Justice, looking every inch the consummate professional at the top of her game. Looking out over the main room she could see the rest of the staff sitting at their stations or scurrying about their jobs with a level of suppressed excitement and no clue to her inner turmoil. With a suppressed sigh, she rose from her chair and made her way to her private office at the back of the room.

Once she had closed the door behind her she dropped the facade of professionalism as she sank into her chair. Rubbing her face she closed her good eye and let out a deep sigh. She had both expected and dreaded this day but, now that it was here, she found that all of her plans for handling it didn't manner. The strain of keeping up her facade in front of the others had almost become too much for her, so she had retreated to her private office. Ignoring the files and reports on her desk that needed attention, she closed her eye and thought back to when everything had started to go wrong.

Until then everything had been going well. After the defeat of the Lowardians villain activity had decreased for almost a year. After the lull it had picked up somewhat but with Drakken retired and Shego working with Kim and Ron for Global Justice they had less success than before. After Kim and Ron graduated from college they both joined GJ full time. For the first year they both worked full time in the field but then, wanting to start a family, they retired from field work with Kim going into training and tactical planning while Ron went to work in the Commissary.

About six months later, it had been a standard day with no major incidents until there was a report of a hostage incident in the Middleton Park. She had dispatched Agent Du and a full strike team to handle it. The first indication of trouble came when agent Du called in to report twenty minutes later. The normally unflappable agent's face was pale and he was on the verge of tears.

"Agent Du, what is the situation." She inquired, worried at what could cause such a reaction in one of her best agents.

Taking a shuddering breath, Agent Du composed himself before replying. "The hostage situation was a trap. As we were en route to the scene, Agents Possible and Stoppable, who were in the park that day, responded to the apparent situation. When they reached the scene a series of hidden explosives was triggered."

When Du paused Dr. Director say the look of anguish on his face and flinched herself. "Their status?"

Du ran a hand over his face before answering. "Agent Possible was killed instantly. Agent Stoppable is in critical condition."

Dr. Director sat in silence for several minutes before continuing. "I will send a full forensics team. Maintain the scene until then. We will get who ever is behind this."

The next several days had been some of the worst in her life. Ron survived in a coma, which was probably for the best as he had lost an arm, was paralyzed from the waist down and had burns over 60% of his body. She was pulled out of her brooding by the arrival of an agent carrying an update.

"Dr. Director, satellite surveillance shows extensive damage on Ilsa de Senior. European air traffic control has picked up the target and projects its destination as being somewhere in Germany." The agent stated as she handed her an update.

Dr. Director muttered, "Dementor", under her breath as she scanned the report.

The agent stood at attention until she was finished and when no commands were forthcoming asked. "Should we scramble a response team?"

Dr, Director shook her head. "No. we don't have any teams that could handle the target. In addition, Germany is asserting their treaty rights to handle the situation themselves."

The agent protested, "But Dr. Director, how can we let the target go without acting? After what happened in New Jersey, how can we . . . ."

Dr. Director cut her off. "After New Jersey, we will not act, I don't want any more of our agents injured or killed. Now return to your post."

~O~O~O~

Shego set the autopilot on her jet and leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes for a moment and letting out a tired sigh. Only one more villain left and then should could finish her mission. She felt so tired and empty with nothing left but to finish her last job. As the jet winged on its way to her next destination she let her mind wander over the events of the last few weeks.

Life for her had been good for once. Working for GJ alongside Kim and Ron without having to deal with Drakken's buffoonery or her brother's sanctimoniousness had been heaven. And then everything fell apart in an instant. She had been on a mission in Argentina when she got the news. Her next memory was of arriving in Middleton for the funeral. Later she was told she had abandoned the mission and commandeered an aircraft to return for the funeral but she still had no memory of what she had done.

The funeral had been the toughest thing she had ever done. She had gone around in a daze until it was almost her turn to speak at the funeral. She remembered how her heart had felt like it was being torn out as she listened to Wade speak. He had looked on the verge of tears as he slowly made his way to lectern. Once there he stood silently looking at the speech in his hands for a moment before taking a deep breathe and beginning.

"Kim, Kim was special. Not because she was smarter or faster or stronger than other people but because she never doubted herself and never gave up. In most ways she was a basic average girl. In High School she worried about classes and boys, just like every other girl. Once she graduate she worried about college, finding a job and getting married. What made her special was her belief that she could do anything. She truly believed her family motto, 'Anything is possible for a Possible'."

"In Ron she found the other half of her soul. Many saw Ron as a buffoon or a doofus. The saw how he would overreact or get sidetracked but they missed his most important qualities. Ron was also loyal and brave. No matter how scared he was he would follow Kim into any situation. And when the chips were down Ron would come through when no one else could. And he did it all for Kim."

"This is what really made Kim special, she brought the best out of others. Just being around her made people act better and try harder."

He paused for a moment, almost breaking into tears, then continued.

"Kim was special, special in the sense that she showed you didn't need to be special to do special things. She showed what was possible for anyone to accomplish if the tried. She proved that even average people could make a difference. Here life was a call for everyone to be more than they are."

He struggled to continue but dissolved into tears and was led back to his seat. Now it was Shego's turn and she would have rather face all of GJ than go up there but she rose from her seat and moved to the lectern.

The alarm on the jets autopilot sounded, alerting Shego to the approach of her destination. Her face hardened as she took control of the jet and made her landing approach. Once she took care of Dementor there was only Betty to deal with and then she was done.

~O~O~O~

Dr. Director sat in her office following the agent's exit and hoped she could maintain her composure until this crisis was over and everything was settled. Part of her was glad everything would be over soon so she would no longer have to carry her burden of secrets and lies but she pushed that part down and continued to do her duty. Duty, it seemed an empty concept in the face of the harm that had been done. She remembered attending Kim's funeral and see all of the people who had been hurt. In particular she remembered how hurt and lost Shego had seemed.

After Wade was escorted back to his seat, Shego rose from her seat and slowly made her way to the lectern. She slowly made her way to the lectern and stood for a moment looking out over the crowd filling the church. With a shiver, Shego broke out of her revere and began to speak.

"My name is Shego. Not many people know it but I started out as a hero before becoming a villain. It was as a villain that I first met Kim. She interfered with one of Dr. Drakken's plans and her and Ron got captured. Soon they had escaped from Dr. Drakken's trap, foiled his plan and captured both of us. I couldn't believe that a cheerleader had managed to defeat us so easily. Over the next year I fought Kim over a dozen times and in the end each time I lost."

"One time my brother had their powers stolen by an old villain of ours, Aviarius. Kim blackmailed me into helping stop him by threatening to reveal my past as a hero. When we stopped Aviarius, I grabbed the staff he was using to steal my brothers powers and took them for myself. Even though I had both my powers and my brothers Kim still beat me easily."

Shego paused and gave a wistful smile at the memory.

"A year or so later another former villain of ours called Electronique used a device called an attitudinator to change Team Go from good to evil. She didn't realize I had turned evil since we had last fought so instead of turning me from good to evil she turned me from evil to good. Even though we had been enemies for years Kim let me stay at her house and helped protect me from my brothers, who Electronique had ordered to capture me. Over the next few day we rapidly became friends and it almost broke my heart when I was accidentally turned back to evil after Electronique was defeated."

Once again Shego stopped for a moment. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she continued, unshed tears in her eyes.

"After that I started to examine my life and the decisions I had made. When I was given a pardon after helping stop the Lowardians I took it and joined Global Justice. It was nice being on the side of right again but the best part was getting to be friends with Kim and Ron again. As Wade said, Kim brought out the best in others, without her I would never have been redeemed."

Shego looked as though she was about to continue but quickly returned to her seat tears running freely down her cheeks.

Will Du was troubled and for him that was a new situation. Normally he was confident to the point of arrogance, secure in his own talent and the working of Global Justice but ever since Shego had begun her rampage he had felt something was off. After being pardoned following the defeat of the Lowardians, Shego had been an exemplary Global Justice agent and her sudden killing rampage made no sense. He wanted to blame it on what had happened to Kim and Ron but his logical side said it made so sense for her to suddenly fly off the handle six weeks after the attack, particularly given how she had acted at Kim's funeral and in the weeks following.

Dr. Director's actions baffled him, too. She seemed distracted by something but his subtle questioning her of had revealed nothing out of the ordinary. She appeared to be the consummate professional as always but for some reason he could not name it seemed an act to him. Making up his mind he rose from his seat in the command center and approached the door to her office.

~O~O~O~

Leaving Dementor's now destroyed and lifeless lair Shego made her way to her plane and took off, setting a course for Middleton. Once the autopilot was engaged she slumped down in her seat and closed her eyes for a moment. A moment later she snapped them open, knowing that if she left them closed she was likely to drift off to sleep and if she slept, the nightmare would return, the same nightmare she had every time she slept. Trying to stave off sleep Shego remembered when her hunt had started.

Once the funeral for Kim was over and Ron's condition was known to be stable, Dr. Director had called her into her office and given her the lead on finding the person or persons responsible for the attack in the park and bringing them to justice. The idea was the her contacts in the villain community could be used to find leads to the identity and location of the people they sought.

To Shego's surprise, her contacts had been quite forthcoming with information. It turned out they were afraid of what would the authorities would do to whoever had killed Kim and so had decided to give what information they had in order to prove their innocence. There were a number of leads to follow, with three different villains claiming credit for Kim's death. Shego and her team investigated each of rumored perpetrators.

The first was a small time supervillain from Canada with minor fire-based powers who called him self Firefox. Before claiming to have set the ambush that killed Kim, his biggest claim to fame had been a long hopeless lawsuit against Mozilla for trademark infringement, which he lost when it was proven he had never registered the trademark in the first place. The resulting legal costs had wiped out all of his resources as well as what little reputation he had, so when Kim was killed he thought he could restore his reputation and fortune by claiming credit for a crime he hadn't committed. Shego and her team had exposed his deception and turned him over to the Canadian authorities.

The second was a new villain called Azteca who used a Meso-American theme in his crimes and seemed to focus mostly on 'protecting' archeological site popular with tourists. He had no known motive for the attack. Once they investigated, he was quickly eliminated when it was discovered he was in jail for hijacking a tourist bus in Mexico and had tried to take credit for the attack to make it easier to shakedown his targets. They left him in jail after giving the local authorities enough information to connect him to over a dozen new crimes.

The last was a medium level supervillain who had been active for several years called Ravager. He wasn't known to have powers but used a suit of tactical battle armor and a variety of weapons when needed. He had spent the last few years struggling to build his reputation and apparently decided that designing an ambush to eliminate Kim and Ron would give him the reputation he craved. It took several weeks of chasing leads before they had finally gotten information from an informant inside Hench Co. that gave them the location of his current lair. Once the location was confirmed, Dr. Director had Shego assemble a team to infiltrate the lair and capture Ravager.

Shego was shaken from her memories when North American air control contacted her. She turned her mind from the past to the present and replied, while setting her course for Middleton. One last task and maybe then she could sleep without waking up screaming and crying.

~O~O~O~

Dr. Director sat in her office with agent Du and watched a live satellite feed of Dementor's lair. Several minutes ago they had seen Shego's plane land and a figure making its way into the lair. There followed a series of explosions and energy discharges before everything was silent. They waited for several more minutes before a lone figure made its way to plane and climbed aboard.

Du turned to Dr. Director and inquired heatedly, "Now, will you authorize a strike team to move against her? She is out of control and needs to be stopped. The UN and the major powers must be wondering why we have done nothing."

Dr. Director fixed her eye on Du before replying. "Have you forgotten what happened in New Jersey? Shego not only killed Edward Lipsky and his associates but also six of our agents and put another four in the hospital. She has lost all of the self restraint she had about killing and is using her powers at full force on her opponents now. Who do we have who could stand against her? Even when she had her self restraint the only person who could stop her was Kim Possible and she's dead"

Du's face didn't betray his shock at the vehemence of Dr. Director's words. He opened his mouth to speak then, thinking better of it in light of Dr. Director's agitated state, closed it. He stared hard at her for a moment before leaving her office to check on the tracking of Shego's plane after it left Dementor's lair.

Dr. Director watched Du leave her office with a sense of relief that he had not questioned her response. She had been surprised at the force of her reply. She was afraid that if he had pushed her on the matter, she would have lost what self control she still had and spill the truth about the attack on Kim and Ron and the cause of Shego's rampage. Her mind turned to the day everything had fallen apart, the day Shego discovered the truth.

Dr. Director had left her office in a hurry and taken a fast hoverjet as soon as she had gotten the report. Agents assigned to help Shego capture Ravager and his men had called in to report that she had entered his lair thirty minutes ago to scout the defenses. They had heard nothing since then and were beginning to worry when, several minutes ago, a series of explosions had rocked the lair and smoke had started to rise from several locations. Unable to contact Shego they had called headquarters to report.

Once of the scene, Dr. Director had taken command of the assault team that was first to enter lair followed by the forensics and damage control teams. She was shocked when they found the first dead body but her shock turned to horror as they reached the main control rooms and it became evident that every person in lair was dead, murdered by Shego from the plasma burns on the body. Certain the lair was secure, she dispatched the forensic teams to reconstruct what had happened while the damage control teams insured the lair's integrity while the investigation lasted.

The forensic team soon reported that it looked like Shego had infiltrated the lair as planed, making her way to the central control room, using her plasma to knock any guards she encountered unconscious. It seemed the once she had reached the command center, she had used her Wade supplied portable computer to hack into the system and shut down the perimeter defense and interior intruder countermeasures.

It seems that she also found some information on the computer that enraged her, since the command center had extensive plasma damage. The computer forensic team started to examine the computers, hoping to recover the information that had set Shego off. The Medical Examiner confirmed that the henchmen in the control room had been killed first, followed by those who had not been knocked unconscious. The guards Shego had knocked out on her way in had been killed last. The one body that they could not find was that of the Ravager himself.

The damage control team reported that the lair had sustained extensive damage but was structurally sound and in no danger of collapse. They also reported that a room had been found on the lowest level with the door welded shut with what looked to be Shego's plasma. They were working to open it with torches and hydraulic equipment. while Dr. Director paced the hallway near the room for the ten minutes it took.

Once the door was opened Dr. Director and the forensic team entered and almost immediately wished they hadn't, when the sight and smell of the rooms contents hit them. The room was Ravager's personal quarters and in the center of the room suspended from the ceiling was Ravager's body. He had been stripped naked and slowly burned over his entire body. Once the M.E. examined the body they said he had most likely been alive and awake for most of the time he was being burned. After directing that Ravager's body be taken back to GJ headquarters for autopsy and disposal, Dr. Director returned to the control center to see what information had been recovered from it computers.

Once she reached the center, she found the computer forensics just finishing up their investigation. From what information they had recovered they discovered Ravager had been backed by a coalition of established villains who were supporting several up and coming villains in attacks on Global Justice and Kim Possible. There was no indication of the identities of any of the others being supported but the coalition's members were listed: Dementor, Motor Ed and Senor Senior, Senior. The only other item found on the computer was an empty file. When Dr. Director saw the files name her blood run cold, Operation: Draw Out.

Dr. Director was pulled form her memories by the sound of a distant explosion. When her staff contacted her in a panic, she immediately gave an order for everyone to abandon the base and shift to the backup location. As the staff left, a further series of explosions could be heard, followed by other sounds of destruction that swiftly grew closer to her office. Dr. Director straightened her uniform and sat up straighter in her chair. She would face her coming fate as well as she could, seated in her office the center of her deserted headquarters ready to pay the price for her actions.

~O~O~O~

Shego made her way through the now deserted headquarters of Global Justice, using her plasma to destroy computer or surveillance equipment she found along the way tot he command center. She didn't care that the agents escaped since the destruction of most of there intelligence and command equipment would stop them as surely as a bullet. Once she reached the command center, she paused for a moment to prepare herself for the end game then entered the room.

Most of the equipment had not been shut down in the agents rush to leave for the backup facility. Shego gave a smirk that quickly turned to a angry frown and started throwing her plasma around the room, not at the monitors which were so prominent on the walls and desk but at the desks and server cabinets that held the actual data. In moments the room was filled with smoke as Global Justices entire command and control system was destroyed.

Shego made her way across the wrecked room and stood in front of the door to Dr. Director's private office. She briefly considered blasting the door from its hinges or kicking it in but settled for simply opening it normally. She boldly strode through and faced Dr. Director, who was sitting bolt upright behind her desk.

Dr. Director felt a rush of relief when the noise of destruction in the command center stopped and the door to her office opened. She watched Shego confidently stride into the room, a faint glow surrounding here hands. She stopped and stared at her as though daring her to speak. They simply stared at each other for minutes before Dr. Director broke the silence.

"I have been expecting you. Ever since I saw the name on the file in Ravager's lair, I knew you would be coming for me."

Shego shook her head in annoyance. "If you knew I was coming, Betty, why remove everyone from your headquarters, and why didn't you send any of your agents to stop me?"

Dr. Director regarded Shego for a moment, a slight frown on her face, before replying. "Why would I want to stop you? You were punishing those who were guilty and that is what I wanted."

"And I suppose you want me to punish you, too?" Shego snarled as she advanced into the room the glow on around her hands intensifying. She paused when she saw the look of guilt on Dr. Director's face. "You do, you want me to punish you, don't you, Betty?"

Dr. Director let out a breath she hadn't realized she was hold and nodded her head slightly. "Yes, I do. When I saw the name of the file, I realized that in some way I was responsible for what happened to Kim and Ron. If that is true, then I deserve to be punished."

Shego glared at her for a moment before speaking. "If you are responsible? Your project Operation: Draw Out funded numerous villains for some reason. One of those was Ravager. He used your support as well as that from the villains to plan and execute his attack. I know why the villains supported him. Why did you?"

Dr. Director stared a Shego's glowing hands, well aware of the danger they represented. She gave no sign of her nervousness, though she surreptitiously wiped her sweating palms on legs of her jumpsuit before answering. "We, that is our analysis group, thought that Kim was being wasted in tactical planning and training. We were afraid that if a major threat appeared we would not have anyone to face them with Kim out field operations. We though if we financed a group of new villains that Global Justice could not handle she would be forced to return to field operations."

She stopped as Shego gave a bitter laugh. Shego shook her head and replied with a smirk. "That is the same reason the villains had for attacking her. Even though she foiled their plans all the time, in most cases they could act with reasonable freedom until their plans matured and caught her attention since regular law enforcement agencies including Global Justice could never handle them."

Shego smirked again at the chagrined look on Dr, Director's face and continued. "Once she took over tactical planning and training for Global Justice, they became much more adept at stopping their plans in the early stages. No longer could they count on having a six months to a year to carry out a plan. A bunch of villains got together and pooled their resources and started to support several minor villains in the hopes that a crime wave would cause Kim to come out of retirement."

Shego took great delight at the look of bafflement on Dr. Director's face as she realized that both she and the villains had been working towards the same goal.

"You mean, the villains though Kim was most effective in tactical planning and training and so they wanted to get her to return to field work, where they thought she was less of a problem?" Dr. Director asked, almost to herself, as she realized just how wrong she and her analysis group had been. Shaking her head to clear it of all the could and might have beens.

"What do you intend to do to me?" She asked Shego, searching her face for some clue as to what she had planned.

Shego drew back a glowing hand and replied, with anger in her voice. "The same thing I did to the others who were responsible for Kim's death. An eye for an eye."

Dr. Director simply stared at her, her emotions frozen at the sight of her impending fate. The analytical part of her mind continued to work away at the situation.

"Of course, your reaction isn't extreme, you were in love with her." She mumbled half to herself.

Shego froze, a look of confusion on her face. Slowly she lowered her hand and asked. "How did you now? No one knew about that."

Dr. Director looked her in the eye as she said. "It is obvious in retrospect. The only explanation for you reaction being so extreme is if your feelings for Kim were more than those of a friend. Did she know?"

Shego slowly nodded and blew out a long breath. "Yes, she knew. I told here several months after the defeat of the Lowardians." She gave a short laugh. "She said she understood and was flattered but that she was in love with Ron and could never be more that my friend."

Shego shook here head, a slight smile on her face as she continued. "It's funny. I was so concerned about offending her and her biggest concern was for me and how I felt. She insisted that we remain friends and still do thing together as long as they didn't bother me. She even asked me to be one of her bridesmaids."

Dr. Director smiled back at her. "She was like that. She always though the best of everyone."

Shego's expression hardened. "That is why I have to do this. Ever since I found out the truth I can't sleep without seeing Kim's face covered with blood, a look of betrayal on her face. You have to pay for what you did, no matter what the reason. I know Kim would hate me for what I have done and what I am about to do but I have to do it."

Dr. Director looked up a her. "I know what you mean. Ever since I saw that file I can't sleep without seeing her." She paused, a look of pain and anguish on her face. After a moment, the look was replace by one of determination. "What will you do when you are finished?"

Shego looked at her in confusion. "I, I don't know. I guess I will retire or something. I just know I have to do this."

Dr. Director smiled up at her. "No, the only peace you will find is the same as the peace I will find. I can't live with what I did to Kim and Ron and you won't be able to live with what you did to get revenge for Kim and Ron. I can offer you the same peace you are offering me."

Shego looked down and saw the gun in Dr. Director's hand, pointed to the floor. She let Betty's words penetrate her mind and slowly realized she was right. She looked Dr. Director in the eye and raised her hand to strike. "Ready?"

Dr. Director nodded her head and raise her hand. "Yes."

END