Well hello! It's me again! This is the multi-chap fic I talked about in the author's note of "Love & Sunshine" and yes, it really did take me this long to get it out to you. Writer's block was only partially responsible; the main reason was the fact that it's literally such a useless story, now, considering all that's happened in canon lately. But I've had this idea for years (seriously- since like season 4) and I had a bunch of random ideas and plot points written down for this thing since the Halloween episode for season 4 aired and I've been dying to write it ever since. So I did. And if it's totally random and useless now, well then... I agree with you. And I'm sorry. But I'm also kind of not?
This story is going to be ten chapters and I can't promise steady updates, mostly because A- I'm still writing it and B- I'm working a shit ton lately and I barely see the internet, some days. But I'll do my best to get it out to you without too much of a wait time. It takes place after episode 5x05, but I've changed a pretty crucial storyline that this chapter is basically going to set up. Actually, the next one will, too, a little bit. We don't technically get into the real meat of the story until chapter 3, but you'll see that for yourself, if you stick around. If you don't, no hard feelings. You know I still love you even if you just clicked on this story by accident. :)
Okay so I think that's it for me. Oh, actually, before I go, let me make this pretty clear- it's not a rewritten -A reveal story. -A will still be around, don't get me wrong, but there will be no reveal. I've written two of those already, you know? And I figured no one would want to read my version of that for a third time. So yeah! We're going to be a bit more focused on the "Alison" factor than the "-A" factor. So if that's not your thing, either, then maybe peace out here. Alright, should I maybe shut up so you can read and form an opinion on your own? I'll do that. The title and description are from an old Scottish traditional song that, apparently, Ed Sheeran covered, so you may already know of it lol. Thank you for being here, lovelies. You're all wonderful and I don't deserve the fabulous readers/reviewers I have. :)
One
"I see walking bombs on the street, hearts not beating, but ticking." – Henry Rollins, "The Portable Henry Rollins"
The last time Spencer had seen her had been in Radley barely a week ago. She hadn't dared believe her eyes then; after all, her mind had committed the ultimate mutinous betrayal. But she's not sure she believes them now, either.
It's been about a year and a half since the discovery of Alison's body beneath the gazebo and so much has happened since then, Spencer's not sure she'd even recognize herself out of a lineup. The search and rescue parties had disbanded, the posters came down, and the headlines grew more and more dismal as the looks on people's faces waned from careful optimism to solemnity. The investigation had turned to murder and it seemed that every week, a new piece of evidence was discovered seemingly out of the blue and a brand new suspect was introduced to the Rosewood Police Department, despite the fact that their corrupt officers were likely behind the cover up to begin with. And Spencer's seen it all before; everyone has. In old crime movies and reruns of procedurals like Law and Order: SVU. But she'd never expected an episode to leap off of her television screen and cast her and her best friends in the starring roles. She'd never expected the stolen glances, the whispers behind cupped hands, and the gossiping rumors that always started with, "Do you see those girls? Yeah, they're the friends of that dead girl."
It's something they'd always tried to cope with. Of course, the circumstances were dire with –A at their heels every turn and the lying and the secrecy and the crushing weight of disappointment they'd see on all the faces of those they were speaking to, but when it came to Alison, they did what they could to make peace with their friend's death. They held a beautiful service that Alison herself might have designed, considering the dramatic spectacle it was. They dedicated a memorial to her in the center of the town and before it was destroyed it really was a testament to the simple fact that life was short and could end at any moment if one wasn't careful with whom they were dealing with. They participated in the charity fashion show Alison's mother held in an attempt to raise awareness- and to what, they're still not sure- and, again, before that was ruined, it was an emotional testament to one of the many things Alison loved. And despite everything, despite every stress and terror that everyday life with a cyber stalker awarded them, they never stopped thinking about the Alison of it all. After all, it had all started with her and it certainly didn't end now that she was gone.
Except- There were times when the girls questioned that fact and lately, they've been occurring more and more often. In the first few days following her disappearance, Spencer felt like she saw Alison everywhere she went; in the sea of faces waiting for the train, in line at The Brew waiting to order a coffee, on a bicycle in the park, pedaling in time with others. She'd hear Alison's laugh or the click of her heels on the pavement or one of her cryptic, coded sayings, that's immortality, my darlings. She would see a flash of blonde hair or striking blue eyes or catch a whiff of her signature perfume and think, Ali's not gone. Ali's been here all along. We just haven't been looking in the right place. And even after the police discovered her body beneath the fresh earth, there had been times when Spencer wondered if this, too, was just yet another one of Alison's elaborate ruses and that she was actually still out there, just waiting to come home.
These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion and activity and when Spencer really stops to think about it, it makes her head spin. She's finally gotten Toby back, but she'd lost her soul and her mind and most of her dignity in the process and she knows in her heart that it'll be worth it in the long run and only hopes she can convince the girls. Her time in Radley is spotty and foggy at best, but she does remember Mona and she does remember accepting the black hoodie and she does remember Alison. She has no idea how much medication she was under and she has no idea if what she saw was real, but she does know that this was the first time since Alison's death that she's seen her, actually seen her, and not just bits and pieces of her, like her yellow top or her hair or that radiant, winning smile. This was Alison, full and present, corporeal and standing before her. Talking. Breathing. Taking her hands. Dancing. She was there and Spencer's sure of it. But she's not so sure other people would be sure of it; in fact, she's almost positive that if she told someone about this, it would land her back in her old room at Radley. So she keeps mum, locks the memory safe inside her brain, and wonders if someday she and Alison will have a laugh about this when all is said and done.
She slips the hoodie over her torso (it fits like a glove) and does what Mona says and is, ultimately, rewarded with Toby in a junky diner on the outskirts of town. He looks pretty alive to her but she can't even express her anger; she's much too upset. He is too and she can see it, clear as day, in that bright ice blue of his eyes. He takes her to a motel and she cannot comment on the irony, but it doesn't seem as though he's expecting it. She tells him he'd hurt her immensely, irrevocably, and he doesn't reply but what is there to say, really? He knows it's true and she can tell he wants to say something but he cannot; his emotions take over instead and it's in this very moment that Spencer realizes this is her Toby. It's been her Toby all along. There's an unspoken understanding and forgiveness lingering in the air around them and there's a conversation dying to be had, but there will be time for talking later. She kisses him instead. She kisses him and her world is set right again; the records stop skipping, the thunderclouds clear, and each day forward explodes with sunshine.
And everything had been great for all of about twenty minutes.
Now, she's walking through the cool, dark night, shivering and clutching the jacket around her shoulders closer to her body, the air biting at the bare skin of her legs as her dress swishes and rustles in her haste. She's not sure where she's going, Toby's just jogged in the opposite direction and she has half a mind to follow him because she's not ready to lose him all over again. Shaking her head of these thoughts, she tries to focus on the task at hand, ignoring the familiar crunch of twigs and leaves beneath her shoes and trying desperately not to think of what she'd found the last time she'd been alone in the woods. The air is thick with something Spencer cannot make out and through the mist and darkness, she sees the bright beam of a headlight cutting through the night. It's gone just as quickly as it had appeared, but she hurries to the best of her ability in that direction anyway. In a clearing just past the thicket of trees is the plane they've been searching for and Spencer hears the low hum of a motor and harsh, whispered voices. And it's dark and misty, a thick rolling fog obscuring her vision, but the figure climbing out of the plane is wearing a brilliant red trench coat, her blonde curls cascading out from underneath the hood.
She turns her head in Spencer's direction for a millisecond at the most, but Spencer sees. "Ali?"
She blinks, rubs her eyes, squints- but the figure is gone. The fog is growing thicker and thicker and Spencer is once again left wondering if what she's just seen is real or just her paranoid, anxiety-ridden mind playing a trick on her. She tries to follow this hooded figure but loses her somewhere past a line of trees, where the fog has grown so thick she can barely see five feet in front of her. The air is hot and suffocating and she begins to sweat; she whirls around and realizes that it isn't fog she's choking on but smoke, and the lodge is now behind her, up in flames. It's burning to the ground and all of her friends are inside. Adrenaline courses through her bloodstream and panic sets her heart racing as she sprints towards the burning building, desperate to save the friends she'd only recently sold out in an act of selfish foolishness. If they die beneath the burning embers of this building, their blood will be on Spencer's hands.
They're lying in a dirty, ash-covered heap about fifty feet from the burning building when Spencer finds them and she takes a moment to thank several deities she doesn't believe in. However, her relief upon finding them alive is tempered only slightly when she hears the conversation they're engaging in. Mona scrambles up to them, breathing heavily, and asks, "Did anyone see her?"
Emily's brow knits in confusion. "See who?"
"Alison," Mona replies and Spencer's face falls. Okay, she hadn't been the only one. But what does it mean if the two who had just seen a girl who's presumably dead are also the only two who've ever spent time in a sanitarium? Spencer's not entirely sure she likes her company and is beginning to wonder if her doctors had given her the clean bill of health by mistake.
"She pulled me out of there," Mona continues, shaking her head as if she, too, cannot simply believe it. "She pulled us all out."
"No," Aria disagrees. "You're hallucinating."
"She was here. I swear it." Mona replies fiercely and despite the disbelief on Aria and Emily's faces, something flickers on Hanna's.
Emily says carefully, as if she's speaking to a small child, "Ali's dead."
But Hanna shakes her head and whispers, "I saw her too."
"So did I," Spencer tells them and all eyes are suddenly on her. "Ali is Red Coat."
"But that's…" Aria trails off, unable to express exactly what she's feeling. "That's not possible."
"She's dead," Emily repeats, but with much less conviction, this time, and everyone notices. "She can't just… That isn't… She can't be involved in all of this."
"Don't you remember?" Spencer asks, kneeling in the grass. "From the funeral? When we thought she was calling the shots all along?"
"But it was Mona," Aria replies and Mona purses her lips. "It was Mona all along."
"It hasn't been me in months," Mona replies. "She visited me in Radley. She took the game back."
"She visited me too," Spencer adds, just a touch quieter. "And you've all been there. She visited all of us. And how can she do that if she's gone?"
"I told you she came to the hospital when I broke my leg last year," Hanna points out. "None of you believed me! Believe me now? I've been saying this all along- I don't think she's really gone."
Emily hesitates. "I saw her too. The day of Hanna's dad's wedding. But I just thought… Well, I don't know what I thought. I don't know what to think, anymore."
"Are you serious? Come on! She's dead. She's been dead almost two years!" Aria exclaims. "You can't go by the times we thought we saw her! I mean, come on, I had a ridiculously high fever. Emily, you breathed in way too much carbon monoxide to be considered healthy. Hanna, you were on a ton of pain medication. And Spencer…"
"I was what?" Spencer asks, a bit defensively. "Crazy?"
Aria bites her lip and goes another way. "I'm just saying. We can't go by those circumstances. None of us were in our right minds."
Hanna asks, "Then what about tonight? How do you explain that?"
"The effects of smoke inhalation!"
"Emily, I don't know who drugged you this summer," Mona confesses and Emily frowns. "I don't know what made you go to the cemetery and dig up Ali's grave. But do you remember what you found when you did?"
"Yeah," Emily replies. "Nothing."
"Exactly!" Hanna exclaims. "And how do you explain that? Where's her body if she's dead?"
"Um, am I the only one who remembers Halloween?" Aria asks and a collective shiver runs down the girls' spines. "We all drank from a cooler that doubled as a morgue all night."
Spencer counters, "We don't know that it's her body."
"What do you mean?"
"It's a body bag with her name on it and the DiLaurentises just sealed it in the mausoleum," Spencer explains. "But they never ran DNA. They never gave her a second autopsy. For all we know… That body in her crypt isn't even hers."
"Jesus, Spencer."
"That's disgusting."
"This is creeping me out," Hanna shakes her head, standing as the girls follow suit. "Can we please get out of here?"
They clamber into Emily's car and set their sights on Rosewood, the burning lodge in the rearview mirror shrinking rapidly even as the glow is ever present. No one says a word. It isn't until they've reached the center of the town that Emily asks, "If she's still alive… If she never died… Then why hasn't she come home? Why hasn't she ever said anything? Why did she let the news report on her death and the cops lead an investigation to find her murderer and her family and friends suffer thinking she was gone?"
"Because," Mona answers simply. "I don't think she has a choice."
Spencer nods her agreement. "Yeah. I mean, if she wasn't taken… If this person who allegedly murdered her didn't kidnap her, then maybe they drove her out of town. This person is obviously extremely dangerous and Ali, if she is still out there, fears for her life. She can't come home and she can't tell anyone if she is still alive because… Well, then, she wouldn't be."
"Guys…" Hanna asks. "This person… Is it –A?"
"And more importantly," Aria adds. "Are we next?"
In seconds, their phones chime and their tormentor awakens. You're mine now. Kisses, -A.
Looking back on it, Spencer will always remember this exact moment as the beginning of the end.
The Great Charlemagne has just made Aria disappear and it's been a very, very weird afternoon.
"Wait, where'd she go?" Hanna panics and Spencer shakes her head, shivering a bit despite the tepid air.
"Just keep watching."
In the weeks since the lodge had burned to the ground, not much had changed and yet, it seemed as if everything had. They'd been chasing hint after hint to try and prove that Alison is still out there somewhere and yet everything they'd found thus far pointed to her being dead. –A had moved on from just torturing the four girls to now tormenting their paramours as well; Caleb and Paige had been put in harm's way innumerous times and Toby was going through his own personal hell- reliving the days before and days after his mother's death. It absolutely killed Spencer to watch him receive these texts full of pictures and empty clues that ultimately led nowhere, because it was so obviously pouring salt in an old wound that hadn't ever actually healed. And they had just gotten back on solid ground with one another, too; they sat down, talked through all of their emotional torment and pain following her hospitalization and his fabricated demise, and were back in each other's good graces just long enough for the shit to hit the fan all over again.
It isn't a matter directly concerning their relationship and no matter how painful it will be for them, Spencer knows they'll be fine. What she's more concerned about these days are the implications that Alison is still alive. She can handle –A's torture; she's been doing so for two years. But things are getting worse and worse for each of them and she's beginning to wonder if this is what things were like for Alison in her last few days in Rosewood. Aria and Emily are still wary to broach the subject even now, and Spencer knows they still aren't convinced that their friend could be alive. She's honestly not sure why she thinks so, either; she's always prided herself on her logical reasoning and all rational thought is pointing towards her friend being dead. But still… The uncertainty surrounding Alison's capture and demise is not sitting well with Spencer. And nothing gets her blood boiling quite like a brand new puzzle to solve.
Somehow, they've ended up in Ravenswood, even though if Spencer never came back to this greying and decaying town it would be too soon. Somehow, they've been drawn into a magic show that –A has personally invited them to and maybe in a different place, in a different town, in a different life, Spencer might have enjoyed this. Magic had always held a special kind of thrill for her, but this is different. This sets her on edge; it doesn't excite her. And it only makes her all the more nervous as Aria is called up to the stage to participate by the mime in full carnival-esque circus makeup. Hanna is buzzing beside her with anxiety, but Spencer knows this trick; hell, Spencer's performed this trick three times over. And when Aria pops out, unharmed and well, moments later, everyone claps and she receives a long-stemmed red rose for her efforts and Hanna breathes a sigh of relief.
But relief does not stay; it is soon replaced with panic as Aria rejoins the girls and asks, "Where's Emily?"
And in their haste, The Great Charlemagne had made Aria disappear and reappear, but it's Emily who had actually vanished from sight. And it's then that they receive the text- Leger de main. Sleight of hand. A breeze ruffles the trees surrounding them and a cool emptiness sets in. They're in unfamiliar territory. They have no idea where to look.
From the phone call with Emily seconds later, they learn she's locked somewhere she thinks is a coffin and there's a huge, loud saw in the background. But then they see it- a woman, darting away into traffic, in a red trench coat. Tearing after her, they chase her into a sawmill where they find Emily, locked in a coffin straight from the Wild West era, heading for a saw that would easily slice in her pieces. It takes all three of them to pry open the coffin and free Emily, and it isn't until after they do that they realize there isn't one Red Coat, but two. One has just stopped the saw, seemingly on their side, and sprints outside while the other heads up the stairs, a waxy, plastic mask of Alison's face covering her true identity. Emily is near hyperventilation, shaking and trembling with fear as she climbs out of the coffin and Hanna pulls her into an embrace as Aria heads upwards, after the second of the two Red Coats. Spencer glances at all the chaos and for reasons she's not sure of at the moment, takes off after the one who's gone outside.
It isn't until after she's back at the sawmill that Spencer can actually come to terms with what she's just found. Emily's shrieking, "It was Alison. I'm telling you, it was Alison!"
"It's CeCe," Aria corrects her, glancing over at the crumpled body on the ground, her hair fanning out in all directions and her leg bent at an awkward angle. "CeCe must be Red Coat, Em. But I can see how you'd get confused. I mean, they're both blonde and Ali's mom said they used to trade places all the time-"
"No, that's CeCe," Emily shakes her head. "The other one… There were two; we all saw them. The other one was Alison."
"Em…"
"No, she's right," Hanna agrees. "Who else would've turned off that saw? Who else would've helped us like that? I mean, Ali was a monster but she never wanted to hurt us. She'd never let that happen."
Aria turns in disbelief to Spencer and asks, "Well? What do you think?"
"I think Emily's right." Spencer says and Aria frowns. "I chased her out of here, but she waited for me every chance she got; at the door, at the corner… She wanted me to follow her. She wanted me to see this."
"See what?"
"Come on," Spencer nods towards the door. "I have to show you something."
Together, they make their way out of the mill and down the street, to a seedy-looking apartment complex in the middle of town. Spencer opens the door and hurries up the stairs like she owns the place, the other girls following in her footsteps just a bit cautiously. When Spencer pushes open the door at the very end of the hallway, they step inside to experience the same awful, gut-wrenching, speechless feeling that Spencer had when she first entered only mere moments ago. Plastered along the walls are photos of Alison at all stages of teenage hood and each of the girls' faces is there too. There are various computer screens, all dark, and keyboards, spy equipment, and cameras. There are notebooks full of pages upon pages of documentation; each time the girls went to school, what they were wearing, what they did and said. It sends a cold shiver down Spencer's spine just as it had the first time and, disgusted, she has to turn away.
Emily asks, her face pale, "What is this place?"
It takes Spencer a moment to find her voice. "I think it's –A's lair."
"This is fucked," Hanna exclaims and crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm going to be sick."
"I feel so violated," Aria shakes her head. "This is… This is…"
"This is how –A's been watching us." Spencer finishes. "This is how –A is everywhere, all the time."
"This is why Ali can't come home," Emily says and turns to Aria, asking, "Do you still think she's dead?"
"It would have to be a miracle for her not to be, wouldn't it?" Aria returns. "I mean, seriously! Look at all of this stuff. Ali was good but she wasn't that good. How else would she escape a monster like this?"
"The same way we have," Emily replies. "By the skin of our teeth."
Hanna sits down in front of the computer screen and begins tapping away at the keys. Spencer asks, "What are you doing?"
"No one's tried this yet," She shrugs. "I'm getting us into –A's files, one way or another."
"All that time with Caleb's finally paid off, huh?" Spencer jokes and Hanna pulls a face.
"He's on his way but that doesn't mean I can't start and try to get something before he gets here," She sighs. "I can't believe we're here. I can't believe we're doing this."
"I know." Aria shakes her head. "I have goose bumps."
Emily picks up a rather large notebook, bursting at the seams. "This is like a scrapbook, almost. Look- that's Ali's handwriting and everything."
Spencer's on the other side of the room, gazing at the timelines. There's a large white board with her face, the girls' faces, and all the things that have happened to them since Alison's disappearance. She frowns at the picture of Toby and anger fuels her veins. Leave him out of this. "-A's been watching all of us this whole time. Everything we've ever done… It's all on here."
"Yeah, Alison too," Aria comments from the other side. "But look- her timeline ends on Memorial Day, the day she went missing. There's just a question mark. How can you possibly think she's still alive?"
"But look, they're having a celebration tonight," Hanna points out and there's an invitation stapled to a corkboard. In red ink, -A's written, Girls 11 p.m. "-A thinks we're going to be there. We're the 'girls' right?"
"Does –A know something we don't?" Emily asks. "Or… something we do?"
"It might mean Ali is going to be there, too. And by now, -A has to know we're going after her." Spencer shrugs. "Whatever it is, we need to get to her first."
They leave the lair behind and find that darkness has fallen on this very strange day. But something makes them stop in their tracks right outside the apartment; or, rather, someone. Spencer's eyes widen as she asks, "Mrs. Grunwald?"
"You are fighting an evil that cannot be contained," The woman says. "I only hope this time he will not get away with it."
"She asked you for help," Spencer says. "I know she did. Why did you say you had never met her?"
"I'm sorry I lied," Mrs. Grunwald tells her. "I thought if I threw you off this path, then you would no longer continue to travel down it. I'm afraid I was unsuccessful. But the facts remain."
"Do you know who it is?" Hanna asks. "Do you know who hurt her?"
"Alison was afraid. And Alison was right to be." Mrs. Grunwald replies. "You cannot help now, for it is too late. Your plans are misguided."
"Mrs. Grunwald," Emily interrupts. "We're trying to bring Ali home."
The older woman smiles but it doesn't fit her face and sets goose bumps across Spencer's skin. "Then you are looking in the wrong place. You will not find her here."
As she walks away, Aria exhales heavily. "Oh my god. She's still alive."
"And we've got to bring her home," Hanna says. "We have to. Otherwise…"
"Otherwise," Spencer finishes. "He's going to kill her. And then we'll be next."
She shouldn't have mentioned the possibility of Alison being alive to Toby. She shouldn't have mentioned the possibility of Alison being alive to her parents. And she definitely shouldn't have mentioned the possibility of Alison being alive to Jason.
The moment Jason hears this, it's all he can think about and he has about a million and seven questions for Spencer about why she thinks this and Spencer is cringing so hard and cursing her big mouth. He takes this to the police, demanding answers, and before Spencer knows it, they've retrieved the body from Alison's crypt for DNA testing. Of course Spencer believes this body is not that of her friend but she wonders what will happen once the truth comes out. Have they been barking up the wrong tree? Have they been collectively hallucinating the figure of their lost friend? Has it been Alison all along, buried and forgotten? Spencer doesn't know. But any second now, the police will reveal the truth and either way, their lives will be forever changed.
And their lives have already been changed in these past few weeks and not exactly for the better. Caleb had decided to stay in Ravenswood to help a friend and utterly heartbroken by his departure, Hanna had broken up with him, dated a boy named Travis she hadn't ever really liked and started drinking. It turned out that the lair they'd found in Ravenswood hadn't been –A's but Ezra's, and this had all but destroyed Aria, who cut off and stopped speaking to him immediately despite his best efforts, unable to get over this betrayal. They'd traveled to New York on a false tip from –A, who then sent them on a wild goose chase that ended with the death of Shana, something they were now responsible for. And they'd been lying to their parents about their whereabouts and their wrongdoings ever since.
But now Spencer's sitting in that old tan Chevy truck and she's so overwhelmed by her own trauma that she's finally confessed all of this Toby, every last detail she's been keeping from him since the beginning. She's kept her gaze trained solely on her wringing hands in her lap because she's too ashamed to meet his eye. He's been very quiet and she's spent the better part of an hour talking, but now that she's done, she just wishes he would say something. Most likely, he's just processing every awful thing she's just said, but the anticipation is killing her and she's honestly wondering if he's just trying to figure out a nice way to let her know he simply can't do this anymore. After everything she's done and everything she's said, she'd expect it, after all.
"Are you mad at me?" Spencer asks and finally chances a glance at him. There are a thousand different emotions all rolled into that deep cobalt of his eyes. "For waiting so long to tell you?"
He gives her a look like it's the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard in his life. "Spence… Get over here."
She does not hesitate. Scrambling across the bench, she settles into his arms and he holds her so tightly, she wonders if he realizes how hard she's trying not to fall apart. It wouldn't surprise her if he did; his intuition never ceases to amaze her. "All I want you to know is that you're never alone. Not even for a second."
She doesn't deserve him. It's all she can think of the moment she turns in his arms to indulge in a loving kiss that grows more and more passionate by the second. He's much too good for her, much too pure and understanding and untainted by Rosewood's poison, but somehow, he's never seen it like that and he's, instead, always in her corner, always on her side. She doesn't know what she would do without him and selfishly, she thanks her lucky stars that he hasn't realized yet he could do so much better than her. He pulls her onto his lap, deepening the kiss, and she loses herself in the pleasurable feeling of his lips on hers, something she'll never get enough of. But then, her cell phone rings and she pulls back the tiniest bit to glance at the dashboard where she'd left it. As usual, something's come between them.
"Don't answer it," Toby pleads, his hands still in her shirt, his lips attached to her neck and collarbone. "Come on, we need some time together."
"I know. I'm sorry. It's just…" She sighs and runs a hand through her mussed hair, trying to pull herself together. "It could be important."
He eyes her, watching as she reaches for her phone, and teases, "This is important too."
"I'm sorry." She repeats, almost pleadingly, and he lets it go. "It's Emily."
"Spencer, it's on," Emily says before Spencer can even say hello. "It's on the news right now. You need to come over."
"Now? They finished testing already?" Spencer exclaims. "I'm… I'm with Toby."
"Bring him. He could probably stand to hear this too."
In the short drive to Emily's house, Toby asks, "What do you think they're going to find?"
And there are a million different answers to that simple question, but Spencer sticks with, "The truth."
They're the last to arrive and if this were a less important gathering, Spencer would definitely question why Ezra and Caleb are here too, because the last she knew, Aria and Hanna weren't even speaking to their ex-paramours. But she can't focus on that right now; she takes a seat beside Paige and Emily, drags Toby down with her, and grips his hand like a lifeline. On the television, a news anchor reports, "There is breaking news tonight in the investigation of the remains buried in Alison DiLaurentis's grave. We expect the Rosewood Police Department to make a statement on the identity of the murdered girl tonight at eleven."
"We have five minutes," Emily says although everyone's eyes had flocked to the clock upon the announcement. "I am so terrified of what we're about to discover."
It's like she's taken the words directly from Spencer's mouth. Toby glances at her, gives her hand a squeeze, and says, "Breathe. It's all going to work out, okay?"
She nods but she's not sure if she can take the words to heart. The five minutes tick by in an agonizing litany before the familiar news jingle resonates through the air and the Rosewood Police Department comes onto the screen. The news anchor clears her throat and says, "This mystery has continued to haunt Rosewood, as the murder has never been solved, and this announcement is right on the heels of the more recent murder of Alison's mother, Jessica DiLaurentis."
"Come on," Ezra says a moment later, breaking the silence. "Just give this family some peace."
Spencer stares at him, wondering who had even invited him here in the first place, and she almost misses the next piece of crucial evidence. "We take you now to the Rosewood Police Chief."
A tall burly man comes on the screen and has a no-nonsense demeanor that makes Spencer's heart pound. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I've called this press conference because we received confirmation tonight that the body buried in Alison DiLaurentis's grave is indeed not the body of Alison DiLaurentis."
Spencer's eyes go wide and she's fairly sure she's stopped breathing. From beside her, Toby asks, "Did he just say-?"
Caleb asks, "Does that mean-?"
"But then where is-?" Ezra adds, but the girls are silent.
"The remains found in Alison DiLaurentis's grave do, however, match the DNA of another patient thought to have gone missing at that same time." The chief continues. "The name of the victim that was buried alive on the DiLaurentis property was Bethany Young. She was a seventeen-year-old patient at the Radley Institution and was believed to have run away from the hospital on the night that Alison DiLaurentis was allegedly kidnapped. The victim's parents have been notified and the family is requesting at this time that you respect their privacy and allow them to grieve over the loss of their loved one."
"Wait," Spencer sputters. "Allegedly? Allegedly kidnapped?"
"We are prepared to launch a full investigation to bring Bethany Young's killer to justice as well as to locate and retrieve the remains of Alison DiLaurentis," The chief concludes. "We ask that anyone with any information on either case please come forward at this time. There will be no questions and no comments from the Rosewood Police Department until further notice. Thank you."
"It's not her," Emily says finally. "It's not her body. It's not Alison."
"She's still out there, somewhere," Hanna adds. "She's out there and she needs our help."
"Hanna…" Caleb trails off and Hanna glares in his direction.
"What?" She snarls. "You think we're crazy now? He just proved that it wasn't Alison's body."
"Yes," Ezra answers and all eyes snap to his figure. "But that doesn't mean she's alive. It just means the location of her remains is unknown."
"Her remains?" Aria exclaims. "She's our friend! Can you stop talking about her like she's some faceless Jane Doe?"
"Aria, I think he's just trying to prepare you for the fact that…" Paige sighs. "That she's most likely still dead."
"She isn't," Emily replies. "She isn't. We've seen her."
"No, you think you've seen her. All of those circumstances would make it highly likely for some sort of hallucination-"
"It wasn't a hallucination! She's alive! She's in trouble! She needs our help!"
"She's been dead for two years!"
"Then where's her body? Huh? Where is it? Show me the body if she's dead."
"No one knows where it is, but that doesn't mean-"
"No, it means she's still out there, walking around, scared for her life!"
"Hey!" Toby shouts and the room goes quiet. "Does anyone hear that?"
There's a loud crackling sound coming from outside and just as Emily stands to inspect the noise, the window explodes and glass rains down into the living room. She dives to the floor as the others follow her lead and yells, "What the hell was that?"
"It's coming from outside," Spencer replies, peeking up and over the windowsill. Her eyes become saucers at the sight. "Toby… Your house."
"Spencer, get down," He yanks at her arm, attempting to pull her to the floor as the rest of the group begins to army crawl out the front door. "It's not safe."
"No, Toby, your house," Spencer shakes her head, shrugging out of his grip and standing as he does the same. "It's on fire."
From there, he sprints for the front door, Spencer hot on his heels. There is carnage all over the street; cars ablaze, furniture charred, bits and pieces of the house just hanging from the roaring fire, falling onto the lawn. The others are staring, wide-eyed, as the house rumbles in front of them and after a beat, Caleb asks, "Is anyone in there?"
And at that, Toby takes off towards the building, throwing caution to the wind as his girlfriend crumbles in his absence. "No! Toby! Get back here! Please! Just stay here! Please!"
She shrieks and tears at her hair and before she can even think twice, she starts after him, expertly navigating around the burning debris like a real-life game of 'the floor is lava'. Aria chases after her and grabs an arm before she can get too close and a piece of siding falls off the house and lands right where they had just been standing. "What are you doing? Do you have a death wish?"
"You think I'm going to stand here and watch Toby kill himself?" Spencer shouts back. "Let go of me! I have to go after him!"
"I'll go," Caleb volunteers. "You stay here. Do not follow me."
"I'll go too," Ezra says, chancing a glance at Aria, who purses her lips but says nothing. "Toby will be fine. Just don't move."
They take off into the building, following in Toby's footsteps, and Spencer chews each one of her fingernails until she's just about down to the cuticle. Emily places a hand on her shoulder and offers, "He'll be fine."
"You don't know that," Spencer shakes her head, her eyes trained on the house that's still up in flames. "It's not the first time –A's tried to kill him and what if this is the time she succeeds?"
"I called the fire department," Paige announces. "They're sending paramedics too."
"You may not have a death wish, Spence, but I'm pretty sure Caleb does," Hanna says, shifting her weight from one foot to the other anxiously. "I know Toby's his best friend, but he's been so weird since he moved out to Ravenswood. I don't know what's going on out there- or with him."
"But they'll get him out of there, Spence. Ezra and Caleb will," Aria assures her friend. "And they'll all be okay."
"Thought you were done with him?" Hanna asks and Aria rolls her eyes.
"I am but I don't want the man to die," She sighs. "A little harsh, isn't it?"
When the fire team arrives, the first question they ask is, "Is anyone inside?"
"We don't know," Emily answer truthfully. "A few of us went in to check."
The chief raises a brow at them and then shakes his head and takes off, hoses in tow. Spencer's pretty sure she's going to be sick. Her stomach is pitching and rolling and every second is passing by so slowly, she feels as if she's stuck, drowning, in the grains of sand in an hourglass. Her anxiety heightens tenfold every minute she doesn't see Toby and when the paramedics arrive, she turns to Hanna and asks, "Why aren't they out yet? Why haven't they come out yet?"
"I don't know," Hanna shakes her head, her face pale. "I don't know what's happening."
In a moment, Spencer's phone buzzes in her pocket and she fumbles with the lock screen as Hanna asks, desperately, "Is it them? The guys?"
"No, worse." Spencer's eyes fill with tears. "It's –A."
Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. –A
"Wait, over there!" Aria points out as the girls' eyes snap in that direction. "Look!"
Ezra comes first, coughing and waving smoke away from his face, and behind him, Toby and Caleb are on either side of an older man, supporting his weight as they half carry, half drag him away from the burning building. Spencer's entire body sags with relief and as the guys deposit the man with the paramedics, she runs the distance between them and throws herself into Toby's arms. He's trembling with fear and leftover adrenaline and she holds him as tightly as she can, pressing kisses against every inch of him she can reach. Over his shoulder, she watches for a moment as Hanna and Caleb and Ezra and Aria have a slightly less enthusiastic reunion and then closes her eyes, relishing in the pleasure of being in his arms. He coughs a little, choking a bit on the smoke and when she pulls back, she notes he's covered in ash. Frowning, she pushes some damp, sweaty hair out of his eyes as he attempts a smile to placate her.
"I'm fine. Really."
"You need to get checked out," Spencer disagrees. "Let the paramedics be the judge of that."
"I didn't breathe too much of it in. I had my shirt over my face the whole time," Toby says. "Promise."
"Still," Spencer insists. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking… I was thinking my father was in there and I was right." Toby admits. "I was thinking that I didn't want to lose him. It's my dad, Spence. I mean, we've had our differences in the past but he's still my dad. And I've already…"
He trails off but she's already heard the unspoken ending. I've already lost one parent. I can't lose the other one too. Spencer nods in understanding and pulls him back into an embrace. "Please don't ever scare me like that again."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I understand why you did it. But that was enough of a heart attack for a lifetime."
Upon her insistence, he gets examined by the paramedics and released when they determine he hasn't harmed his health too much by his act of bravery that evening. His father is transported to the hospital, the fire is tamed and eventually put out and an exhausted Toby turns away from the site of his childhood home in ruins, asking Spencer if she'd like to come back to his place to decompress. She can't get an acceptance out fast enough; there is absolutely no circumstance under which she was leaving him alone tonight. They retreat to the loft after Spencer sends a quick text to her mother saying she'd be staying at Hanna's that night (and to Hanna, asking her to cover for her) and Toby takes a long shower to wash all the ash and smoke out of his skin and hair. Spencer makes them each a cup of tea and then it's nearing two a.m., but they're wide-awake, unable to sleep after the horrors they've seen.
"Do you think your dad's going to be okay?" Spencer asks after a beat, unsure of where Toby's head's at after so much activity in so little time.
"Yeah, I'm sure he will," Toby nods. "I'll go visit him in the morning. I guess we've got to figure out what we're going to do with the house."
"The insurance will cover most of the damage, right?"
"Yeah, but… Not any of the things," Toby says and glances down at his mug. "Not any of the memories."
Spencer bites her lip. "How many of your mom's things were destroyed, you think?"
"Hopefully not too much," Toby replies quietly. "I took as much as I could with me when I moved here, but there's still a lot that wouldn't fit and… I'm just hoping it wasn't anything too sentimental."
Spencer frowns. "I'm so sorry Toby."
"Why?" Toby wonders. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"No, but I did. I mean… I'm part of what's happening to you." She tells him. "You know that this never would've happened if-"
"Let's not play that game," Toby says and she falls silent. "It did happen. And that's something I have to deal with now. I can't think about the what-ifs."
She's still feeling so supremely miserable and he must sense this. He sets his mug down on the coffee table, takes hers from her grasp and places it beside his and then takes both of her hands in his. "What's wrong, Spence? You've been all over the place tonight."
"There's so much happening." Spencer shakes her head. "I'm just beginning to lose track of it all. It just feels like…"
"It feels like what?"
"Like –A is getting stronger," She confesses. "But we're getting weaker."
"I imagine by now it would feel like that." Toby agrees and she sighs. "But I don't think that it's true. You're the strongest person I know. Your resilience amazes me everyday. And I know things are getting scary again, with the whole Alison mystery and everything. But I don't think that means you're getting weaker. I don't think it's anything you can't handle."
"Well definitely not alone," Spencer points out. "I wouldn't be able to do any of this without you or the girls."
He smiles and wraps an arm around her shoulders as she melts against him. "What do you think of the press conference?"
"You know what I think," Spencer answers. "I think she's still alive and I think she's out there, somewhere, waiting for a safe time to come back."
After a beat, she adds, "And judging by your silence, you do not feel the same way."
"Well," He hesitates. "I don't know. I mean, I think her body being missing is sketchy to say the least. I think that Alison being alive is an option, yes, but I don't know that it's the actual answer."
"I get that," Spencer says. "I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen her."
"That's what you keep saying," Toby replies. "But where did you see her? You said yourself that it's not safe for her to come home. So how did she?"
"I don't know. I'm still trying to figure that out. I saw her in Radley," Spencer answers and at the look on Toby's face, she quickly adds, "And at the lodge that night and in Ravenswood."
Toby nods and asks the question she's been dreading. "Are you sure?"
She realizes there's really no reason to lie to him. Not anymore. "No. Of course not. How can I be sure? How can I be sure of anything anymore?"
He then asks, "You're going to try and figure this out, aren't you?"
"I have to. I have to put an end to this." Spencer nods and then wonders, "Will you help me?"
Toby smirks in that way that tells her she's known the answer all along. "Any way I can."
Her phone buzzes and she excuses herself to the bathroom to ready herself for bed as Toby takes their mugs to the kitchen sink. Behind the closed door, she reaches for the cell phone in her pocket and holds her breath, sure it's from their tormentor. She's right. Her eyes widen in their sockets, she can feel her heart in her throat, and she barely dares to breathe.
Bitch didn't see me coming, but you do. Stay out of my way or I'll kill you. –A