Authors note: So. The Twilight bug as bitten me too, and I'm loving every second of it. I think this is the fastest I've ever written anything, and is also one of the things that I'm the most proud of! Thank you to EVERYONE who helped me with this, who read this for me (and those of you that I made read this, he he). And also those of you that helped me come up with things for it. You know who you are, and I'll be forever grateful. Also a huge thanks to my beta Miranda! You're a lifesaver! Uhm... Don't know what else to say. I don't think there are any warnings that should apply to this... I think I've kept it in tune with the books. So, hope you enjoy it, and reviews make me happy )
Summary: "I came to realize, he was the eagle, my protector, as I was now his nightingale; less of a threat, but just as beautiful." An Edward/Bella oneshot about her transformation of becoming a Vampire. Set after Eclipse.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters (although I wish I owned Edward sigh). I also don't own the lyrics that are posted, those belong to Death Cab!
The Nightingale.
It was a weird feeling lying here in white, the silk negligee engrossing my body as I laid in the – I didn't know what to call it, enormous was barely fitting in describing the size of the bed. I shivered at the coldness that was radiating from the body next to me, yet I wasn't freezing as I should have. My body was surprisingly warm, my cheeks flushed as his fingers gracefully swirled the ring around my left ring finger. It didn't feel as heavy as I had first anticipated, it just felt amazingly light. It felt right, like a missing piece had finally found its place in the puzzle, making my world almost whole.
There was still one missing piece, I thought with a shudder, one that would settle my place in this world with Edward forever. Edward instinctively wrapped his arms around me at my shudder, thinking I was cold. I smiled at the sweet gesture, though it did not help with warming my body temperature. I didn't complain though, having Edward's marble skin against me, hard as rock but more gentle than any other person, was more than I could ever ask for.
Our wedding had been a compromise of the extravaganza that Alice wanted, and the non-wedding that I wanted. Close family and friends, although that practically involved all of Forks. Charlie had walked me up the aisle, all the while carrying a strained expression. He hadn't said anything, but I knew as much as Edward that Charlie hadn't taken my being engaged easily. His rage had hit a new level when I had told him about getting married in August, just in time before I would turn 19. Age is just a number and didn't really hold any meaning in the world of Vampires, but even so, I didn't want my age to be a lot older than his technical age. His real age though, if people knew, would make them frown in disgust, and I'd be the perfect material for research about not only daddy issues, but probably grandfather issues as well. I didn't have any grandfather issues, I didn't even know him, but the thought... the thought was highly amusing.
When I was walking up the aisle, Edward had a puzzled look on his face. I realized I couldn't have hidden my amusement well, soon Edward was sharing the look, as if he could suddenly read my thoughts. I started pondering about me being a newborn; if Edward would be able to hear my thoughts, or if I had abilities of my own that was stirring underneath, ready to unveil as I was born into a new world - a world of secrecy, darkness, and... horror. I felt my chest tighten as it always did when I thought of Victoria and James – which of those I had cheated death twice, and Edward coming to my rescue. I quickly composed myself as I thought his name. He was standing there, just a few feet before me, watching me with anticipation as I edged closer and closer to him. His eyes were the perfect shade of topaz, his skin so pale it would make porcelain dolls envious, and his smile so sincere, so soft, he almost looked angelic where he stood. I felt the familiar stinging of not being enough for him; how someone that perfect could love someone as normal as me, was more of a mystery to me than vampires and werewolves had ever been. But yet, here I was, on the threshold of becoming Mrs. Edward Cullen.
I smiled at the memory, my eyes taking a second glance at my wedding band that was still twisting in Edward's lean fingers.
"Yesterday was perfect," Edward whispered, catching my glance, instantly figuring out what was on my mind. I knew how frustrating it was for him that the one person that was the most important to him – I smiled a little at that – were the one who's thoughts he couldn't hear. He was perfectly attuned to my heartbeat, but my thoughts, those only belonged to me. It made me feel a little more special, and that there was a purpose for it, one that was bigger than me and Edward, I was almost completely sure of. He kissed the top of my head, breathing in my scent. To him, I smelled sweeter than any other person. I was hoping I'd smell as inviting to him in 3 days, as intoxicating as he smelled to me.
"Mhm, it really was." I smiled against his chest, gently breathing in his cool breath as he breathed. If people thought that oysters were aphrodisiacs, they had never smelt a vampire – I was sure that the smell was the most arousing thing in the world. It made the hair stand up on my arms, my breath was always caught in my throat, and I felt like I was going to hit the ground every time it caught my nose.
I must've dosed off, or passed out, the line was thin and very hard for me to distinguish. I snuggled closer to Edward, trying to forget my nightmare that was very much a reality.
I had thought I'd seen Jacob's eyes outside the church yesterday, his eyes full of knowledge that he and I would soon be mortal enemies. But as soon as I caught it, it went away, and I was left doubting that it had been him at all. I hadn't been sure that I would be able to say goodbye, nor had I been sure that he'd go along with it. It was probably for the best that everything would be left unsaid. He'd probably talk me out of this, and I'm not so sure I'd be able to resist his arguments this time. I was more nervous than I'd ever been, but still, somehow, I knew that this was what I wanted. What I needed. And although it sounded completely and disgustingly cliche, it was what would complete me.
Edward's nose was grazing my wrist, snapping Jacob out of my mind. He was listening to the blood rushing through my veins and breathing in the smell of my blood that would make his mouth water for the last time.The next time, it would be for entirely different reasons. I had to fight a smirk forming on my lips at the thought, and was struck with how grateful I was once again for being the only one that was in my head. I knew well that Edward had more than once grazed the thought of how our second honeymoon night would be and how frightening it could be for anyone in a close distance. Our bodies had been pent up with desire, passion that were only shown with a fraction of what it would have been if I hadn't been so fragile. All of which was ready to be unleashed, an act that would make the Cullen's baseball game seem like the most harmless game of all times.
«Are you sure of this?» he murmured against my wrist, his eyes closed. I swallowed, clearly audible as Edward stopped for a second, so abruptly I thought I'd imagined it.
«Yes, I'm sure,» I answered, trying to keep my voice steady and calm. He must've picked up on the smallest of vibrations in my voice as his eyes opened completely, glancing over at me with furrowed eyebrows.
«You know we don't have to do this. We can always go to Dartmouth for a year.»
I rolled my eyes. Of course he'd like that – that we'd go with his idea instead of mine. I stared deeply in his eyes. They gave away something that his voice was able to hide. Some kind of confusion... like he was torn between being the selfless Edward and continue to let me lead a normal human life for a few more years, and the selfish Edward, the one he talked about as a monster, wanting us to start a joint life together tonight. I continued to lock my eyes with his, trying to follow his lead and let my eyes convey what my voice couldn't.
"No," I said sternly, surprising even me with how steady it sounded. "I want this!"
A smile crept across his face, melting his features, as well as melting my heart, reassuring me that this was the right to do. Not that there was really any doubt. I had just had cold feet.
His hand that had been gripping around my wrist were now trailing up my arm, his nose following after. His arms found my collarbone, kissing my neck before he rested in the crook, again breathing in my scent. His cool breath hit my skin, the only thing indicating that he was real. He laid so perfectly still, I was afraid to move. It almost made me nervous.
"Edward?" I whispered, letting my hand go through his bronze hair.
"Mhm.." His soft murmur sounded like music to my ears.
"Are you okay?"
With one swift movement my flushed cheeks were in his marble hands. He stared me long and hard, piercing through me, as if he was trying to stare deep into my soul. Maybe for the last time as I'd now be soulless? Would he miss it when it was gone? Would I be less desirable? I quickly shook the thoughts away as I realized it was completely ridiculous. Had I not always thought Edward had a soul, even though he thought otherwise? And had he not said that nothing would change, that I would just be more durable? Yes, I tried to convince myself, he would love me just the same, if not more. I'd never feel inferior to his beauty again; his pale, flawless skin and beautiful eyes were just days away from being mine.
"Bella, my Bella. You're so silly," his velvet voice rang, before his lips kissed the tip of my nose. "You're the one being reborn, and you're worried about me?"
When he put it that way, it did sound ridiculous. But it's not like he wouldn't be affected either, he would have to watch me hurt for three days. I could see the agony that was in his eyes whenever he thought about how much he'd hurt me before - there was a trace of them in his eyes right now, hiding behind his reassurance.
"No, I just... want you to be okay. I'll be fine," I added. He smiled at me again, dropping his left hand to my shoulders, trailing my skin with his fingers. I gasped as his cold tongue hit my pulsating neck. "It's time," I managed to get out, trying to even my breathing so I wouldn't pass out before, although that wouldn't have been a bad thing. His tongue trailed up my neck, his hard mouth leaving gentle butterfly kisses at my jaw line. This was definitely something new, and I didn't hate it. He could afford to be a little bolder now - it was the end of being breakable, and the beginning of being reckless... passionate.
His tongue traced my bottom lip. I dug my hands in his hair, pushing him as close to me as he would allow. I wasn't completely unbreakable yet.
Our lips crashed together. I thought I could feel the house tremble underneath me, but it was obviously just my imagination. This, I thought, would be the last kiss where he would be careful not to hurt my body, the last kiss where we both – but mostly Edward – had to have the self control one could only envy. The last kiss that would make my heart beat ten times faster and so embarrassingly loud that it could be heard by the entire Cullen residence. Last time it would make my blood rush up to my cheeks, giving it the most human tint of red.
I had no doubt in my mind though that his kisses would still taste as sweet, would still be as intoxicating it would make me dizzy and send shivers down my spine, even as a vampire.
He broke apart, a small whimper escaping my lips. A soft chuckle came from the back of his throat, and I knew he was smiling smugly, even with my eyes closed.
"Carlisle," he said, just an octave higher than normal speaking level, but lower than the yelling normal households would have to do. He wanted to have Carlisle in the room, which I was sort of okay with. He had said that he knew he wouldn't hurt me, but Edward was always one for precautions. He had assured me that it would still be one of the most intimate sessions, as intimate it could be when one was about to die. Technically, I added. Carlisle walked gracefully into the room, standing in the corner, watching me with concern in his eyes. He had no problem with me joining the family, but he knew how this process went. I had been told it was painful and I had experienced it first hand as well, but I was sure that I couldn't grasp just how painful it was when the venom was spreading through the whole body, breaking down my organs on the way.
"I'm ready now," I said, stealing a glance at Edward, before fixing my eyes on Carlisle. He nodded, not saying anything. Edward had strictly said to act like he wasn't there, that he was only there to observe.
Edward turned his attention back towards me, his finger stroking my cheek.
"I love you," he said, and I knew that he meant it. "I love you too," I whispered, my voice caught in my throat of nervousness. He smiled, before turning his attention to my hand. We had decided, together, that we would open old wounds. Although that was never good, usually, it was what felt right to us. He had once drawn out the venom in my blood, and was about to put it in again. His venom, something I was sure would tie us together even stronger in the end.
As I saw him leaning towards my hand, his teeth sparkling in the moonlight, only frightening me a little, I couldn't help but think of Charlie, my Dad, who had only been trying his hardest while I had been here. My mom, who was happily ignorant back in Florida with Paul, Jacob... Jacob who had helped me so much, but in the end was unable to accept my fate. All of Forks; Jessica, Mike, Angela, who had made moving here bearable, before Edward made it complete. All thinking I was on my honeymoon right now, but yet, I was still back in Forks. It was a risk, we all knew that, but this is where I wanted it to happen. This is where I had met Edward, where my life had begun, and this is where I wanted it to end. It would make everything come full circle. We would leave when the transformation was finished anyway, all of the arrangements had been done.
I groaned as his teeth broke through my pale skin, a salty tear slipping down my cheeks at the pain. How long his teeth were in my skin, I have no idea, but the pain, the pain I was sure started right away. It was burning, trickling hot around the wound. A scream was ringing in my ear, frightening me even more. It took a few seconds before I realized that it was me. I tried to compose myself just a little, for Edward's sake.
Where was Edward anyway?
Everything went dark before me, I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. The pain was too much to bear, and I felt myself slipping more and more away. In the far distance, I could feel cold hands on my forehead that felt unhealthy hot, like I was turning into a werewolf instead of a vampire. I must've been looking for Edward, because soon enough his velvet voice was in my ear, whispering that he was near. Then I heard a familiar tune in the far distance, filling the room, almost making me forget the pain.
It's Edward's lullaby for me, I thought, before I was completely gone.
I woke every now and then, my body turning hot and cold as the venom was spreading through my body. I could only compare this to having a fever, a really high and deadly fever, and far more painful than one I had ever had before. I could see curious faces looking down at me, and I tried to hold out my hand, reaching for Edward. It fell limply down beside me, I didn't have the strength to hold it out for long. I thought I caught Jasper's eyes, full of sympathy for the pain I was going through. Even in the daze, I thought I saw something else... Some kind of relief, now he wouldn't have to restrain himself around me anymore. Soon enough I heard Edward's familiar voice, soothing me as he once again started humming my lullaby. "Sleep, my Bella," Edward sang in tune with his lullaby. At this point, my body couldn't take the pain anymore. It willingly passed out as his lullaby went on.
The next time I awoke, I awoke with a scream. This memory was the clearest of them all. The pain was still ripping through my body, but instead of being hot and cold, I was just cold. Not in the freezing way - it was comfortable, almost like it was perfectly normal. My hand was clasped in Edward's, entwined as my body shook just a tiny bit. I tried to keep my breathing steady, and I realized that breathing was... less of a necessity than it had ever been before. It was a weird feeling, and it startled me a bit. There really was no way of going back now, my transformation was almost complete. This thought made me go into hysterics, crying a tearless cry as my body fluids were rapidly freezing... or whatever they were doing. I still wasn't sure how this process was. Edward kissed my temples, and untangled our hands. I was left shocked, he was not leaving me in a time like this? Not like last time? My heart couldn't -
I wasn't able to finish my thought as suddenly the softest of all tunes were filling the room once again; the piano had been moved in Edward's – our – room. He was playing my lullaby. It struck me as odd that he wasn't sick of it by now. Not that I was, it would always be my favorite tune. Suddenly I realized that he wasn't just humming, he was singing, his beautiful velvet voice easing my pain just a little bit. I gasped a bit as I realized - my lullaby had words. What the words were, I couldn't quite figure out in my daze, but I knew that they were beautiful. Coming from Edward, they had to be.
"Love of mine, some day you will die, but I'll be close behind..." was all I heard before I sank into unconsciousness, well aware that this would be the last time I would slip into such a sleep again.
The last time I woke up, the pain was completely gone. Edward was the only one in the room, staring at me with curious eyes. I must've looked frightened, my eyes wide open, as his features grimaced a little. His hand went to cup my face, and I immediately leaned in, enjoying his fingers on my skin. For the first time, I didn't feel my heartbeat pounding in my chest, although my senses were still the same; I still felt the same of his touch, hormones running as wild as they had done before. I immediately felt relieved, I'd been worried that whatever hold he had on me would disappear along with my bloodstream. This was another thing I realized, his hands didn't feel hard against my skin anymore. I could already tell that at this point, we were equal. We were like two normal people, with just harder skin than usual. Edward still watched me with concern as I started touching my body, lingering around my heart, really taking in the empty space that was underneath my now marble skin. Sadness filled Edward's eyes, he mistook my gestures for something else, like I was missing my heartbeat. I tried to scoff a little at the thought, although nothing came out. I was not missing something that had been so embarrassing to me, something that was so lethal. I wanted to tell him that I was fine, perfect even, but no words came out. I was still so enthralled by my transformation that I had completely forgotten how to form words.
In the midst of all this, I had completely forgotten my appearance. It must have changed too, at least just a little bit. I broke free from Edward's grasp, and ran to the full figure mirror that was standing in the opposite corner. He seemed a little startled at first, but he quickly found out what I was doing.
My chest tightened when I reached the mirror, my eyes tightly shut. I opened them slightly, almost expecting to see an empty spot of where my reflection would be. I had to laugh at myself and my own stupidity for believing those myths. I gasped quietly as I was ready to take in my own appearance. My features were more vivid than ever, they were almost... gorgeous, I thought to myself. It was an odd feeling, to look in the mirror and really like what you see. My eyes were the deepest shade of brown, just dark enough to be stunning and not at all threatening. My hair was flowing down my shoulders, slightly curling in the end. My wedding dress was flattering around my waist, which seemed tighter than it had ever been. My hips were in perfect proportion to the rest of my body; everything being covered in the most pale, beautiful skin ever. I knew I still wasn't at par with Rosalie and her beauty, but I was close.
I noticed that I had yet to get the really dark rings under my eyes. I didn't really feel hunger yet, I had just been awake for a few minutes after all. Soon enough, I thought, feeling a chill running down my spine. Or maybe it was my imagination, I wasn't sure if vampires were supposed to feel chills.
Edward had crept up beside me, his reflection showing up next to mine. He was anxious, I could tell, his body stiffer than usual where he was standing behind me. For the first time, I felt like I was worthy of Edward, our reflection seemed more right than it had ever done. As cheesy as it sounded, it was like we were made for one another.
"Are you okay?" Edward asked quietly.
"I'm... great!" I managed to stutter. My voice, although with a hint of squeaking, was similar to that of a nightingale, running smoothly across my tongue.
His body relaxed behind me, a smile forming on his lips as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed against his arms, thinking how I could stand like this forever, watching us in the mirror.
"I love you," I whispered. I had been anticipating that it would seem like I had to convince myself of this fact, but I meant it. If possible, even more now than ever.
"I love you too. I didn't think it was possible for you to be more inviting to me, but you continue to surprise me, Bella Cullen," he said, his lips instantly searching for my neck. His lips didn't feel cold nor hard on my body anymore. To me, they felt hot, burning through my skin.
I twirled around to face him, inching my face closer, waiting for his lips to meet mine.
My mind wandered to Jacob's analogy he'd made, about the fish and the eagle and the course of the nature. I was the fish, Edward the eagle, and according to Jacob, I would always be his prey. This would have been true if not for the fact that we had now cheated nature, a thought that made me highly amused.
As his lips met mine, more forceful than ever, I felt more whole than I had ever been. I was no longer his prey, Edward was no longer my hunter.
I came to realize, he was the eagle, my protector, as I was now his nightingale; less of a threat, but just as beautiful.
As far as I was concerned, we were equal.
And I couldn't be happier.
Authors note 2: I've been thinking of either writing this from Edward's pov called "The Eagle", or a sequel that is NC 17. Would anyone be interested in any one of these at all?
