TW: THIS FIC IS PURE UNADULTERATED CRACK! ALSO, THIS IS MY FIRST CRACK STORY!
Once upon a time, there was the Heterosexual Lady of Hetroland. She was straight. Going to see the neighboring kingdoms, searching for love, she found the Bisexual Lord of Bitown. They hit it off, got married and had a kid. The kid was born, and started crying. The nurse asked him why he was crying and he said, "You're a lady nurse, I want a man," The nurse was surprised, and almost dropped the child, but she didn't. Then the heavens opened up, and Gabriel came down on a cloud, with his harp and said, "You shall name the child, Gay Lord Peeta," And then, he played his harp as he ascended back into the heavens. The couple was surprised, but figured that if God wanted them to name the child such a stupid name, they should do it.
Then the nurse gave the child to the parents. And the parents were so happy that they died, on the spot. And Gay Lord Peeta, grew up with the lady nurse that he didn't like, and at sixteen, he moved out, and went to Gaystonville. Soon everyone found out that he was gay, and attempted to kill him. But then, King Gale, the gay King of Gaystonville, saved Gay Lord Peeta. And Peeta saw him, and fell in love. Gale, the Gay King of Gaystonville, admitted that he was gay to the entire kingdom and then picked up Gay Lord Peeta, bridal style and frolicked off into the sunset.
They settled down, in a small shack. And then they got married, and had 2 kids, because now boys can have children. And then Gabriel came back, but he was annoyed so he was on a storm cloud, And he didn't have a harp, he had a lighting bolt, because now he's Zeus. And he started cussing them out. And said "God said to name the f*****ing children Asex Glimmer and Pansex Cato." And then he threw the lightning bolt at the wall and made a giant hole, and then went back to heaven. They never fixed that hole.
By the age of two, Cato was humping everything and Glimmer humped nothing. Gale, the Gay King of Gaystonville got mad, because he wanted grandchildren, and Gay Lord Peeta wanted great grandchildren so he was angrier. And then Cato hit puberty, because of the hormones in the chicken nuggets he was eating at the age of two. And turned into a really sexy toddler. And then, because society makes everybody perverts, Cato got his nanny pregnant and she had a kid.
So in the end, Gale, the Gay King of Gaystonville got his grandchildren. And Gay Lord Peeta went on a rampage because he got no great grandchildren, and Glimmer was forever alone.
And that ,Ladies and Gentlemen, was the tale of Gay Lord Peeta.
~The End~