This story starts when the new Hokage was coming in and picking his elite guards. He picked three candidates Shiranui Genma, Namiashi Raidō, and Tatami Iwashi. But this story has all to do with the secretary writing down the guards' information. When she was writing down Tatami Iwashi's information she yawned. It was well into the night and the secretary really should've when home all of this lead to a perfect storm. The bane of Iwashi's ninja life his age. Now at the time, he was 21 years old the oldest of the guards. He had a baby face but he really didn't mind.
The secretary who was tired as said before wrote 11 instead of 21 for Iwashi.
This is a story of Iwashi the Ninja who was 21 going on 11.
Now you would think they would have copies of Iwashi's real age but at last, they were burned in a freak fire cause my Minato flailing around his girlfriend Kushina who just accepted his marriage proposal.
Iwashi didn't realize what happened to his shinobi file till Minato did a spit take on him literally on him. "YOUR 11!"
Iwashi raised his eyebrows looked around the room to find no one else in the room. "Hokage-sama I'm sorry but I think you're confused I'm 21." Iwashi wasn't even sure that was possible to be the Hokage's guard and be 11 that just didn't seem possible.
"No this paperwork says your 11 but became chunin at 13…...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE"
Minato exclaimed while shaking Iwashi like he was some type of deity who had all the answers. As caffeine and no sleep for the new Hokage made him well unusual at best.
"Hokage-sama this will all be solved if you look through my other files before I was switch over to guard you." Iwashi was sure it was just a simple mistake and it would be an easy fix.
"Well, that is going to be hard to do...considering I accidentally burned up all my paperwork," Minato mumbled walking away from Iwashi.
"So you're telling me that I'm going to be 11 now that I lost 10 years of my life because you set fire to all the paperwork." Iwashi dropping the formal tone and the temperature dropped in the room. Anbu in the room left. Secretary's knew who was seeing the Hokage and prayed for his soul as they made a run for it.
They had warned the Hokage not to ask Iwashi the Rapid Jackal to be on of his guards. His bedside manner was known throughout the village well his nonexisting bedside manner was. He was known for throwing more people in the hospital with worst injuries than they had before for trying to escape. He regularly joins Gai in spars and can keep up with him. No one messes with Tatami Iwashi and lives to tell it.
"Now Iwashi let's not do anything rash I know we can't fix this mess without any other paperwork but maybe this won't be as bad as you think." Minato babbled while rubbing the back of his head.
"Hokage-sama I think we're going to go over some things that should and shouldn't happen with a Hokage." Iwashi growled his pupil widen with anger.
Minato seeing what he caused and feared what might happen teleported the hell out of there.
"Doesn't even know what happens to people who escape from me." Iwashi sneered while he started to go on what is now called the Hokage-hunt.
"Did you hear I heard our new Hokage was taped to the bottom of Sarutobi's carved face for hours upside down." A civilian said to one another in a shop tea shop on the side of the village near the shinobi academy.
"I heard the Rapid Jackal did it."
"Did you hear he's only 11."
"Really I wish I looked like that when I was 11."
"Me too. Now did you hear Iwashi and Raidō had a one night stand."
"WHAT he's only 11. Raidō is a pedophile if I was Hokage I would keep a close eye on him."
"Kushina it's not that funny." Iwashi mumbled. As she started to devour her 4th bowl of ramen. They were at Ichiraku's stand getting some of Kushina's favorite food. Teuchi laughing at the misery of his other customer.
"Are you kidding me Washwash-kun this is freaking hilarious. You taped my fiance upside down for hours and he's your boss. Besides that, your one night stand is everywhere now and people are calling for Raidō's head for deflowering an 11-year-old." Kushina jested to Iwashi while still slurring her noodles.
"Hey you know if anyone was deflowering anyone it was me with him. I told you to play by play of what happened just like you asked." Teuchi coughed and then pointed at Ayame.
"Sorry, we will keep it more age appropriate for Ayame." Iwashi apologized.
Kushina now done with her 6th bowl stood up in Iwashi's space. "Now what are you going to do with Raidō he's staying in his apartment. He can't even go out for fear of people calling him a pedophile. He's worried he deflowered you~"
"What he's a damn well idiot. Sorry, Kushina to cut our friend date short I have to beat some bloody sense into an imbecile." Iwashi took off for Raidō's apartment.
"Kushina he isn't hiding away in his apartment is he?" Teuchi mused.
"Oh of course not Teuchi it's his day off and he's sleeping in but Washwash-kun doesn't know that. I have to take care of my boys." Kushina bragged as Teuchi gave her another bowl of ramen to eat.
Raidō was minding his own business. His apartment was small but he lived alone and it fit him quite well. He just woke up from his lovely nap only wearing a comfy pair of sweatpants. Scratching his stomach as he searched through his fridge. As he heard someone break through his safety precautions in his window he grabbed a spare Kunai he kept in the fridge ready to face off against the intruder.
"Raidō" Iwashi growled as he fully came into the room from the window stalked his way toward Raidō who had now dropped his Kunai and back himself in between the fridge and cabin.
"Iwashi. What did I do?" He gulped. As slowly Iwashi got closer and closer to Raidō. The temperature seemly dropping out of nowhere.
"Now what is this I hear about you telling people you deflowered me. When I know damn sure I was your first and I'm older than you moron. So stop thinking you are a pedophile." Iwashi barked in Raidō's space. There was less than a foot between them.
The room was eerily quiet the only thing that could be heard was the thumping of Raidō's heart. As he nervously was hoping Iwashi wouldn't kill him. "But so you didn't lie you were of age right? I just was so worried about that. I just didn't want that night to be tainted by anything."
Iwashi closed the gap between the two of them. "How can you be so sweet but still be a halfwit. Of fucking course, I'm not fucking 11. Now, do I need to show you exactly how old I am?"
Iwashi's voice took on a husky tone that got Raidō to shiver. "Oi! DO you really have to call me an idiot in every way you know how?"
"I going to get get my brains to fucking drain out of my ears and you are going to do it or I'm going to ride your dick till it breaks." Iwashi started dragging Raidō to his room.
"Wait wait we were just fighting and now you want to have sex." Raidō trying to pull back his arm as he was getting dragged down his hallway to his room.
"Do you not want to have sex?" Iwashi may have spoken it but he still continue to drag Raidō into a bed really any bed would do.
"NO!" Raidō clearing his throat "I mean I would love to have sex with you but don't you think we should talk about this."
"We can talk when your dick is in me. Please don't act like you didn't get a fear-boner from me threatening you. Now let's fuck my brain out."
Notes:
Thank you guys for reading! I hope you enjoy my take on Kishi horrible timeline and how nothing with Iwashi makes sense so I made him make sense. I love comments and am always up to read them. You will find me on Tumblr under kountoall or thecrackening we have lots of headcanons and fanart on there give us a look.
Again like to thanks my crackening crew/discord for helping me with all the lovely headcanons.