Emma taps her fingers on the wheel, getting more impatient the more details the kid gives her. Apparently not only is he living in a town filled with fairy tale characters, their souls are also manifested into animals, which were taken from them by force and now they live miserable lives because of that.
And she is the one supposed to set them all free.
Of course she doesn't believe him. But seeing how miserable he is worries her, and his mother's determination to keep up the show doesn't help. So she stays.
Graham talks to her about the curse and she almost slaps him. She doesn't have time for that now. But when he tells her his dæmon is a wolf with one eye red, she stops in her tracks and remembers the wolf she almost run into with her car on her first night there. She tries to help him, but to no avail.
He dies that night and so do her hopes of even trying to open up again.
But eventually, the truth comes out. The pet monkey with the red silk fur Regina always has by her side is more than a pet, it turns out, Emma jumping back when she hears an adult male's voice coming from the monkey's little mouth, instructing her what to beware of in the dungeon.
The curse breaks, and everybody is frantically searching for their own animals. Emma finally enters the vault while Regina is in custody, and to her horror sees a huge corridor of cages, cages filled with various types of animals. She sets them free and notices one empty cell, big enough for a wolf to fit in.
Graham's wolf.
As Henry and his huge book informed her some time ago, when someone dies, their dæmon dissolves into "magic dust" and disappears.
She breaks down and stays there until they inform her of more disasters, things called Spectres that suck the soul out of your body.
Wait, aren't those animals their souls?
She doesn't have time to ponder on that. She runs to help and instead ends up in her mother's land, the Enchanted Forest, apparently, with her mother and her dæmon redbreast - his name is Birch, seriously?
She wakes up and looks as two women look back at her, a frozen expression on their face.
"Where is your dæmon?" one of the women, wearing a gown dress, a white bunny on her feet, asks.
"She must not be human!", the other woman exclaims, raising her sword to Emma's throat. Emma gasps and looks at the other woman, dressed in battle armor, a small pig by her side.
Emma sighs and tries to explain as they take them captive and drag them by the ropes on their wrists. Finally, they seem to understand that Emma's dæmon is not corporeal because she grew up in a land without magic.
"A land without Dust? How do you survive there?" Lancelot asks, incredulous.
A quick explanation from Mary Margaret lets Emma know about the mysterious particle called Dust, the thing that connects people to their dæmons and is essential for their survival. Emma remembers August and the small owl he hid in his box, the one who Emma tried to pet and August pulled back, seething.
"There has to have been Dust in our world, at least after the Curse was cast," she says.
But when Lancelot and his tarantula transform into Cora and her crow respectively, she forgets all her questions about this Dust thing and burns away the wardrobe, their only way back to their world. Emma looks at her nursery, her crib and the small bed by it that would fit her dæmon once he showed up and for once wishes she did have that animal by her side, whatever it was. She wouldn't have to spend all her life so alone.
Mary Margaret says that she wonders how it's like to live with your dæmon inside of you. Sometimes having a voice constantly talking to you can be annoying - Birch nips at her ear for that.
In any case, a person separated from their dæmon seems like a horror to behold for them. It becomes apparent once they discover a survivor in the massacre left by Cora at their village. As he stands up and the other three women realize no animal is accompanying him, they all gasp in horror. Emma simply stares back at him, the lack of a dæmon not terrifying her, but something about his person does seem off. And it's not that he was lying.
Even after he reveals his name is Killian Jones, out for revenge on his foe for murdering his dæmon, she still has a strange feeling for him. She wonders if that is truly because of the lack of an animal.
It most certainly is.
And now they have to climb a giant beanstalk. Great. Emma justifies her choice to be the one to follow him up by saying they're the only ones without corporeal dæmons. The other three women throw various glares at the pirate, Mary Margaret bordering on threatening him. Emma sighs.
She discovers his tattoo and loudly wonders if Milah was his dæmon. He looks at her bitterly and she realizes her mistake.
"Esther," he replies and covers his forearm with his sleeve.
Maybe him being broken isn't just because of his soul being far away from him. Or, dead, as he says.
She finally finds the compass and looks at it mesmerized. A dial of thirty-six symbols and four hands, only one of them moving around, stopping on random symbols as it circles around the dial. An alethiometer, Killian calls it. She has no idea what that even means.
Later, as they take a pause in the woods, she plays with it. The three smaller hands can be moved around the dial and be fixed on the symbols. Mary Margaret tells her they'll need both the compass and the wardrobe ashes to travel.
"And how is it supposed to guide us home? It doesn't seem to point somewhere specific anyway," she says, feeling ridiculous.
She replies by saying that its hands point to the truth, or so the legend says. They just hope it will bring them hope. Cora did.
When Cora steals the compass right from their grasp Killian stands by, watching, telling her that he wouldn't have left her. But he does now and she doesn't know why that stings so much.
They escape and make it to the lake just in time. She gets the compass and punches the lights out of the pirate. She doesn't feel bad leaving him behind this time, but she is speechlessly gobsmacked when she pushes Cora away with, apparently, her magic.
Their return to Storybrooke stops being peaceful only one day in. First Archie, then someone rummaging at Gold's shop. She's pretty sure she knows who that someone is.
Curiosity gets the best of her and she searches the shop that night. She doesn't know what she's looking for, maybe only for evidence that he was there. She still wants to stick by the rules, anyway.
Suddenly, she hears a high-pitched shriek from the back of the shop. Taking out her gun, she walks slowly into the back, listening to the soft wails coming from somewhere there. She finds that the sound is coming from a cupboard at the very back. She opens it, but still the wailing seems to be coming from under it. So she lifts the bottom and looks in horror as a swan lies curled up in a ball, its beak caressing its left wing.
Emma stays frozen for a few moments. She's been around magical Storybrooke too long by now to know that this isn't just a normal swan. She has her suspicions as to who it would belong to, with it being caged in Gold's shop no less, but she wonders how its - her - human wouldn't know she's still alive.
She doesn't have much time to wonder or set the poor dæmon free before her phone rings, calling her assistance at the town line.
Her suspicions are proved correct when she reaches the scene of the crime and sees Belle comforted by Mary Margaret and David holding back a deranged Mr. Gold from attacking Killian, who is whimpering in pain, holding his left arm to his chest, his left hand fallen next to him.
He shot Belle, causing her to fall over the town line and lose her memories. As Emma confronts him at the hospital, she wonders why he didn't shoot her dæmon instead. Or her, for that matter.
She decides to not tell him she found Esther yet.
And regrets it as all hell breaks loose after finding out Neal is the son of the Dark One of all people, and especially after Killian himself appears, his arm still bandaged, and stabs Gold in the chest with a hook of all things.
She knocks him out and with Neal and Henry's help, they carry Gold back to Storybrooke. On Killian's ship. She doesn't know what her life is anymore.
While on deck, she stares at Neal's mockingbird and realizes it is the same from the past. Celestia, he'd said her name was, and as it would be, he never allowed Emma to pet her. The bird itself would shrink back from her touch, but not his, and would never leave his side, always sitting on the back seat of the Bug or resting on the top of his seat.
He was never alone. She feels a pang in her stomach thinking that.
And then Gold is saved. She only learns about it after she reaches the shop and Regina has vanished with, as they tell her, her mother's body.
The following days, Emma can only watch as Birch sits next to Mary Margaret on the bed, unwilling to interact even with Rydel, David's sheepdog. She finds the compass at some point and starts fiddling with it. She realizes she can ask it things, and it will answer. She doesn't really know how she's doing it, or if she wants to learn what it can offer - she knows by now magic has its price - but she can certainly handle it easily.
After seeing that it won't tell the future, and with her mother being still bed- and guilt-ridden, Emma's had enough of everything. So she breaks into the pawn shop one night and opens the cupboard shielding the swan again. She looks at the animal, sleeping as peacefully as it probably can.
"Esther?" she calls softly.
Immediately, the swan wakes, raising her eyes towards her.
Emma feels her stomach in knots. She has no idea what it feels like to have a dæmon, she doesn't know what it's like for someone to break the taboo and touch someone else's dæmon, let alone keep it locked away from them for… centuries? She almost puts her fingers past the slim cell bars in an effort to comfort the poor animal, her small head cast down, but stops herself out of fear that she would be even more upset, and that Killian might feel her. She knows that people can feel anything their dæmons feel, and suddenly alerting Killian of his dæmon's living and status is the last thing she wants.
Just to be sure, she checks it with the compass, the aleno-what it was that Killian had called it. She points the hands where she feels it right.
Is the swan the pirate's dæmon?, she asks.
Yes, the compass replies.
Could they be reunited?
Yes.
Is their bond broken?
No.
Still, she can't set her free yet. Gold will know for sure. So she whispers an "I'm sorry", sighs and shields the swan again, and leaves with her emotions a total mess.
When the world almost comes to an end she stops caring. Before Killian and David make it back from the cannery with the beans, she sneaks into the back of Gold's shop for one last time. To her surprise, it's deserted, but she decides to use this to her advantage. She sets the swan free, but she barely has any strength to fly. Emma makes sure the animal is out of the shop before running back to Granny's. Killian suggests they take the bean and let Regina die. Everyone would be ready to attack him, but she corners him and talks to him, looking straight into his eyes. Something's changed in him, but he probably still can't tell what has just happened. She leaves him to reunite with his Esther in peace, having reasoned with him.
Or so she thinks.
When she sees Henry disappear in a vortex with Greg and Tamara, she feels as if her own dæmon is being strangled by cruel human hands that had no permission to touch. Then Killian comes back, having attached the hook to a brace covering his handless wrist. He offers his ship and services, but Esther is not there to be seen. Didn't he reunite with her? Is he hiding her?
As they walk on board, everyone notices the graceful swan by Killian's feet, rubbing her head on his leg. Gold stares at the man and his dæmon, clearly clueless as to what has transpired. But he's obviously not ready to admit his horrendous crime, even as the snake on his arm and hand hisses wildly at the swan.
They finally put their hatred for each other aside and prepare for the trip to Neverland. Killian doesn't give her a single look, though she's perfectly sure he knows who released his dæmon. She doesn't push.
She forgets the compass in Storybrooke in her haste and can't stop berating herself for that.
In Neverland, his attitude changes. He's playful and cocky, but when he sleeps, or at least, tries to, he holds Esther close, her long neck resting on his shoulder and neck. She knows by now that they share their dreams when they sleep, and she can't help thinking how horrible those must be after being separated for so long.
Eventually everyone realizes that she can fly as far from him as she wishes. While standing a few meters away from their dæmons can cause everyone physical pain, Killian and Esther can separate for as long as they desire, without being affected at all, not that they do desire being far from each other. Gold says it's the effect of having been separated by realms - their bond is as strong as ever, but it can extend to as much as needed.
David thanks him for saving his life - he did what now? - and the swan sits gracefully on his shoulder, her head hidden behind his lowered one.
She sinks to the ground when Killian turns towards Emma, her back to them. Emma couldn't be more glad. Kissing someone with their dæmon watching would make her feel super uncomfortable.
After she kisses him, after they save Neal, she notices as Killian more and more often sits silent, rubbing Esther's head and neck softly. She sits on his shoulder again when they sail back home, Henry safe and sound in the Captain's quarters. Emma watches around the ship as the Lost Boys pet their ever-changing dæmons. She wonders what forms Henry's dæmon would take, if he had one.
"When did your dæmon settle?" she asks Killian.
He turns towards her. "She started changing into a swan after I turned thirteen. She spent more and more time like this, I don't think I can pinpoint the exact moment. I think I was fifteen."
"Does a specific event make them settle?"
His face falls. "Sometimes," he replies. He swallows hard and turns his gaze forth, and she takes it as a message to drop the subject.
Pan's dæmon is a scorpion. Of course it could hide awesomely in Henry's clothes, but how the hell does he even communicate with an insect? What kind of voice can come out of such a tiny mouth?
She finds pondering about this is a waste of time. She watches as Gold stabs himself and his boy-father, the snake grabbing the scorpion with her teeth.
And for the first time she sees a dæmon - two, actually - dissipate into Dust in front of her eyes.
And then she has to say goodbye. She feels partly glad she and Henry don't have corporeal dæmons, it would have been hard to explain why they walk around everywhere with strange animals other people aren't allowed to touch.
It would have been even harder with them not remembering about magic.
She takes one last look behind. Killian and Esther, David and Rydel, Mary Margaret and Birch, Neal and Celestia, Regina and Arcon, all looking at her.
One year later, she finds that Killian is lucky to be able to walk away from Esther, or else a man walking in New York dressed in black leather would seem even weirder being followed by a white swan.
He refuses to lock her in the trunk though, and that makes Henry feel weird, especially with the harsh look Killian gives him as a reply to his question about petting her.
After her initial incredulousness, Emma is not surprised that the Wicked Witch's dæmon is a small flying monkey.
She tries to find the compass - it would give them all the answers they need - but it was lost when Storybrooke was gone and now it's almost impossible to locate it.
And then Gold is alive. Emma hears a barely audible guttural sound come from Esther at the revelation.
And then Neal is dying in her arms, and she's not ready, not now. Not again.
Having to watch Celestia disappear in front of her only adds to her grief.
In his wake, everyone is clutching to their dæmons - and trying to hide them from Henry - and she's never been angrier she doesn't have one. She would probably need to have an elephant as a dæmon now though, something that could certainly take a few of her punches without hurting - though she knows that hurting her own dæmon means hurting herself.
When Killian asks Henry to go sailing with him, the boy asks if Esther can come along with them. Killian gladly accepts.
After the revelation of Zelena and Regina's connection, it's an even smaller surprise that Zelena's dæmon ended up being a combo of her mother's and her sister's dæmons.
Not much later, Killian is silent again, and Esther barely looks up at Emma. They stay tucked together in Granny's as Emma tries to cheer both of them up. The next day, she and her parents try to pry the truth from him and for the first time Emma notices Esther growl at someone other than Gold or his dæmon.
She's angrier than she's comfortable with. She shouldn't have let her emotions get the best of her.
She panics as she watches Killian lying unconscious on the ground and sees Esther choke, as if she was the one drowning. Her beak is stroking his forehead in a failed attempt to soothe him. Emma looks at her.
"Don't," she hears the swan breathe, "no…"
It's the first time the dæmon talks to her and the voice startles her, if only for the way the swan struggles to use it.
She ignores her protests and saves him, feeling her magic float away from her in a wave. Esther is collapsed next to him, but breathes in with him and rests her head on his chest. But he only looks at Emma horrified and doesn't register his dæmon's need for attention until Emma says they have to run back to the hospital.
Zelena and her dæmon Knox are defeated and her winged monkeys turn back into humans, their dæmons appearing next to them as well.
She watches as her father and brother reunite with his mother, and Emma feels tears start to form in her eyes. She wonders how long it will take for her baby brother to have a dæmon. She was only a few minutes old when she was transported into this world, not enough Dust managed to settle on her to create a dæmon for herself.
The thought makes her shiver. How can she and Henry stay in this town like this? The weird looks from the townsfolk have lessened, but they are still there. She still wants to run like hell an no-one understands.
Killian thanks her for saving him and, for the first time after a year, for freeing Esther. But his face falls anyway when she announces she's going back.
She catches herself wishing he'll understand. She has to stop wishing that.
She's surprised to find both Killian and Esther followed her into the past. He looks around as she appears with her new clothes and suggests she place a few leaves on her shoulder, under her cloak.
"People are going to scream if they see you without a dæmon. For now that will give them the impression he's simply resting in the warmth."
She has seen a few fights between dæmons, mainly in Neverland with the Lost Boys' uncertain dæmons, or the fight-off between Arco and Knox, but she isn't prepared for the fiery passion with which Evaline the snake wraps her body around Esther's long neck, as Gold - no, Rumplestiltskin, force chokes Killian on spot. The snake hisses as the swan chokes, and with a shaking voice, Emma tries to convince the Dark One to let him go. He listens and she tries to explain as the swan runs to her human and they hug desperately.
Rumplestiltskin agrees to at least conjure up an orange butterfly to pose as Emma's dæmon for now.
"Be grateful I'm not taking this one back instead," he says, pointing towards Esther. Emma watches silently as Killian clenches his fist and swallows hard. Somewhere in that castle is the past version of Esther, suffering alone, and they can't do a thing about it.
She has to admit, walking by so many people with dæmons in their native land is weird. The safe haven she met Killian at and Storybrooke had their share of it, but here she feels as if she is walking inside a science fiction movie.
In the tavern, it feels even weirder. Intoxicated men and dæmons being thoroughly touched by women and dæmons respectively. She doesn't want to imagine what the dæmons do in very intimate situations. But there the old Killian is, a passed out cat on his shoulders.
"A cat?" Emma asks.
"I had to play the part, love," he replies. "The myth of the dæmon-less Captain was one people were scared of. I couldn't walk this place without something to accompany me. Luckily there are far off places with special herbs that help cats become… obedient."
"Catnip? Seriously?"
"You have it too?"
"And didn't people feel weird with it? Did they just assume it's your dæmon?"
"When people did get close enough, I was intoxicated enough that they thought she was just tired and passed out, or drunk herself. And they wouldn't even care much for… this doesn't matter," he says, blushing.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
Good idea or not, Emma finds herself enjoying the time she spends with clearly drunk-off-his-ass Killian Jones of thirty years prior. She makes sure not to pet the strikingly beautiful cat and he doesn't have any problem avoiding the butterfly on her hair as they lean closer and closer to each other. She hopes whatever happens, Esther stays far away as she's told. Though Emma can see the longing deep in past-Killian's eyes, she knows that they can't afford messing with the past even more, and even the smallest hint that his dæmon is alive would change his whole story.
If her kissing him the way she does doesn't change everything, at least.
Upon his reunion with Esther, Killian - her Killian, she thinks impulsively and startles at the thought - hugs his dæmon tightly. Emma thinks that his memories of living away from her are still raw and seeing his lonely past self didn't help. She lets them have their moment as she settles down, watching the festivities outside Midas' palace.
If she is honest, the red dress the Dark One dresses her in is the one she would have loved to wear in her prom - if she'd had one to go.
Killian notes the butterfly is complimenting her new hairstyle and dress, and Emma smiles. It's still harmlessly resting on her hair, occasionally flying around for a bit to show it's not dead. Emma makes a mental note to thank Gold upon their return to Storybrooke.
Storybrooke. Oh, how she misses it.
The ball is indeed spectacular, even more with the dæmons dancing around their humans, weird pairs of dogs with birds and small mammals with dainty serpents. Their humans, not their masters, she thinks, as Esther flies elegantly above them, always careful not to fly too far to scare people, but being the center of attention anyway.
"Are you sure she won't make an impression?" she whispers. "Are swans common dæmons?"
"They won't mind love. People rarely ponder on what shape other people's dæmons have."
She hums in response. "I guess it's just all new to me."
Finally, they spot David. His Welsh sheepdog, as it would be called in her land, seems too out of place between all the animals coming from princes and princesses. Dogs usually mark servants, per Killian's dark retort.
They watch as Snow - not Mary Margaret - and Birch ride away to safety, Emma feeling a huge smile spread on her face. But before she runs to give her back the ring, she doesn't miss the growl Esther throws towards the guards' crows.
Regina's guards pull her hair down, careful to not touch the butterfly. All things considered, she has to appreciate them respecting the taboo.
When they meet again, Killian apologizes for not sending Esther to her assistance.
"It's okay," she replies. After the look his past, though drunk, self had and how he looked at her supposed dæmon, she seems to appreciate any moment Killian and Esther spend together.
She doesn't see Birch turn to Dust when Snow burns but it doesn't make her doubt what she'd just witnessed.
Killian rubs Esther's head as he talks to her about his brother, the swan almost ready to put her beak on Emma's lap like a dog trying to comfort her human. Emma doesn't even care that he accidentally almost swats her mother and her dæmon, both in the form of ladybugs, because her mother's alive and in her arms.
And not recognizing her.
She almost breaks at Killian wiping her tears away. This is more emotion than she can handle, but she's grateful.
Esther knocks out the woman's squirrel as Emma knocks out the woman herself. She looks at her and swears the swan is giving her a smug smile, mirroring the one on Killian's lips.
They're in the Dark One's vault and Esther watches them closely as Killian talks to her, as Emma tearfully admits how she misses Storybrooke and once again wishes with all her might she had her own dæmon, but for the first time feels even without one, she's gonna be okay. As long as she has her family by her side.
Now, in the company of her parents, brother, and Henry, she just feels she has everything. Besides, her dæmon is technically inside her, isn't it?
Her magic pulses under her skin as she walks out of Granny's towards the table Killian's sitting at. She sits next to him and looks at Esther flying above them gracefully, before she focuses on him and they talk.
Esther's flying becomes idle and completely relaxed as Emma brushes her fingers in Killian's hair and her lips on his. They stay there, drinking each other in, the whole world meaning nothing to them for a few minutes.
But again, this is Storybrooke and trouble isn't hard to spread. The very next night, a woman with an ice dress and ice powers and a snow leopard appears and apparently they're stuck inside an ice cave. Despite her feeling so cold, she understands her dæmon's, Kaupi, hesitance to warm her with his fur. Eventually, Elsa breaks both of them out of the cave and Emma tries to cheer her up about her sister.
And then is the Dairy Queen. Emma feels helpless as she curses Marian, her dæmon suffering the same fate, and as she tries to catch her and fails.
Of course, Killian's disobedience doesn't help. But she wants to believe he's a survivor so much, and the feel of his lips crushing against her certainly does help.
He lets Esther go for the evening of their date. She never wants to think how it comforts her, them being just the two of them, but she knows he is doing it for her. Besides, there isn't any direct threat to them being separated again, so she chooses to enjoy their evening together.
They have all the time in the world.
Esther, she's at a manor beside the small lake. Please, get there fast.
He's been so bloody stupid. All for the hate that blinded him, and now he is about to lose Emma too. He runs like a maniac, for he feels Esther being at the other side of town and it will take her as long to reach the manor.
Bloody luck.
"Swan!" he screams as he reaches the manor, arriving just in time with Esther.
The Dark One's magic pulls him back, driving him to the fence and tying both him and Esther to it. He struggles to no avail, and keeps watching at the manor, hoping Emma will hear him.
Then the Crocodile dares to mention Milah's name. Esther shrieks at him, and Killian feels his blood boil. What he's done to him is enough. Boasting about killing her almost drives him over the edge, and Esther losing control is a sign of it.
But finally, Rumplestiltskin breathes "No," as the lights in the manor finally fade.
Emma has made the right choice. He feels his smile widen so much his lips may start bleeding.
"I'm guessing she didn't go through with it," Esther says aloud as the Crocodile turns towards them.
"So sorry," Killian adds smugly.
His confidence drops though, when the other man explains his plan. Trapping the old man in the hat, wanting to trap Emma, was just for the amount of energy he needs to make his device work. A device gathering Dust from the permanent separation of a human and their dæmon, and Killian cringes. He's heard of this device, the silver guillotine, and how it was used experimentally eons ago. People had managed to create bloody portals to other realms by separating children from their dæmons, though no child or dæmon survived the separation. The bond is stronger between them at that age, so the thought of him doing this to Storybrooke's children… children like Henry, all to cleave himself from the curse he brought upon himself…
"You're gonna help me, all right… You see, the doctors of that time were simply playing with the guillotine, having no idea of its full potential or how it truly worked. The one thing they never managed to get, the only instance of a bond more powerful than child and dæmon, is someone who has been separated and reunited with their dæmon, without the guillotine," he says without taking his eyes off of him, accenting the last sentence.
Killian freezes. He knows better than to think the Crocodile is making some sick joke. He looks as the other man approaches him, trying in vain again to get free of his bonds.
"Just do it, then!" he shouts when Rumplestiltskin is standing right in front of him.
"Oh, no. I promised you we'd have some fun first."
Killian breathes hard, fixing him a hard stare.
"You're gonna do everything I say, and now that Miss Swan did not behave as I had hoped, you're going to find another way to fill that hat with the power I want. Until then," he says raising his hand and releasing Esther from her bonds, only to wrap his hand around her neck in a firm grip.
Killian gasps in shock, body going completely limp against his bindings. No…
"This swan here will be my leverage," Rumplestiltskin says and wraps his other arm around Esther's body, even though she's gone numb as well.
Killian can barely breathe. He feels the Dark One's touch on his very body, invisible fingers wrap around his neck, an invisible arm hold him straight against the fence as the first bondage disappears.
"Now, I'll be watching closely. You'll tell everyone your dæmon is upset and flying around or doing whatever it is she does, and you'll behave as though nothing is wrong. If I sense even the tiniest of suspicion from anyone…" he says, tightening his grip on Esther's neck, causing Killian to almost collapse where he stands. It isn't just the suffocating grip ghosting on his neck, it's the very feeling of someone else holding his dæmon. He feels his energy drop by the moment.
No, not again, no...
The Dark One disappears in a cloud of smoke with their dæmons and the grip finally loosens. He collapses on his knees anyway, the shock too much to handle.
"Esther..." he whispers weakly, his breath hitching. He can feel her distress, hear her voice as she calls to him as well, her sobs rocking his own body. She's trapped in some kind of cell, somewhere dark and lonely. He freezes thinking that this is the same feeling he felt upon reaching Storybrooke for the first time. He felt her, imprisoned there all alone, but he dismissed the feeling as confusion on being in a land with a different kind of magic. His eyes burn and he feels tears starting to fill them.
"Go inside," the Dark One's voice is heard. Through her ears, though he knows she can't see anything, is still in the dark, like so many days he'd spent in their dark quarters, when she would shrink back into a duckling and tuck herself on his side.
Even the cruelest of masters back then wouldn't dare break the taboo - not that their dæmons were nice to her, but still.
Killian rises, his knees shaking, and works on relaxing his posture as he walks towards the entrance, finally running as he enters and hears Emma and Elsa's voices from further inside. He runs to her and hugs her as if she's his lifeline. He prays to whatever deities there are she doesn't see his despair as he kisses her. She pulls back slightly, apparently still unsuspecting, her eyes and her smile bright.
It's only then he sees the white ferret resting on the other dæmon's back. The small animal jumps to Emma's shoulder and runs a full circle around her neck, playing with her hair and causing her to laugh. Emma looks back at Killian.
"I… well… apparently accepting my magic had more benefits than I imagined," she says, and Killian feels a smile tug at his lips despite the crawling despair. What if Gold separates Emma from - no, he can't think like that - but what is the dæmon's name anyway?
She seems to read his thoughts, or at least, that part of his thoughts. "I don't even know what his name is… how do you find a name for them?" she asks, turning to Elsa as well.
Elsa shrugs. "We grow up with them. They're company since before we can speak, so, the name usually comes naturally," the other woman says. Emma's dæmon reaches up and licks her cheek, making her giggle again.
"Aye, but there's no need to rush," Killian adds.
Emma finally gives him a good look, and says, "Are you okay? Where's Esther?"
He takes a deep breath, though in all fairness, his chest feels too tight for too deep a breath. "On the other side of town," he replies. "I had her looking for you and we split up."
Momentary guilt flashes across her face and he hates it. She probably thinks how she worried everyone, and so he prompts her outside, to go find her family, as he remembers he has to get the bloody hat from the other room.
His paces feel heavy as he walks the stairs to his room at Granny's. He imagines Esther is in the pawn shop, but he fears of Gold hurting her if he tries to reach her. For all his recklessness, that's one thing that stops him. He sinks on the ground as he enters his room, slowly sliding down the closed door.
He breathes in and out, thinking how used he was to not caring about anything all those centuries, thinking that everyone he loved, even his own dæmon, was dead. Now he's got so much to lose, though he can't really complain. He only wonders for Emma, having just met the dæmon she missed her whole life, and he told her not to worry about him…
He feels a pang of guilt as he considers it would be fitting if she worried now.
The next morning, the others have gathered up the clock tower by the time he gets there. The only thing he can register is that the Spell of Shattered Sight is to activate by sundown. Emma sends him to check for an escape route via the sea, and his hopes collapse when he sees the ice wall that was already around the town extend above the water as well.
The Dark One appears beside him and Killian is gladly surprised to see how he can still feel anger towards him. He knows begging won't help anyway, but lashing out may have agonizing consequences; for himself he doesn't care, but Esther is still trapped. So he follows the other man to the diner and does as he's told. The fairies, along with their dæmons, are trapped one by one in the hat, their screams making his head swim. He barely holds his vomit in when he hears someone coming and he sinks behind the counter, tears making his vision blur. He looks towards the exit after Emma and the others leave as well, and he looks down at the ominous object in his hand.
He rubs his eyes before the tears escape, stands up and starts walking toward the pawn shop. Through gritted teeth he asks his nemesis if it's all over. Enough with the stalling. But Rumplestiltskin explains that setting up the guillotine will take its time, though he seems upset himself. Probably knowing that his wife will be under the influence of the spell as well and may hurt herself. But he gives him this moment to say goodbye, and as hesitant as he is to upset Emma even more, he walks to the Sheriff station. A very upset and teary-eyed Emma is locking her parents in the cells for protection. The ferret is still around her neck even though she's holding her baby brother in her arms.
She walks up to him and he wishes to tell her everything, but he knows his words and his moments are limited. So he lets her kiss him and hold him desperately, and the words of comfort he so wishes to tell her cannot find themselves past his tongue. He slips off and walks towards the docks, his heart breaking.
The spell is cast and pieces of glass fall from the sky, and he faintly hears shouting and screaming from the center of the town. He's not affected by the spell.
Rumplestiltskin wants his services again, so he goes and finds Henry. Standing outside the mayor's door, he refuses to let the lad out there. With the whole town running amok, who knows what Henry may run into. So he stands there until he feels ghost fingers wrap around his neck again. His breath catches and he leans on the wall for support.
It's Henry or Esther, and Killian knows she'll hate him, but he chooses the lad over her. He collapses on the floor, whimpering in pain as the Dark One's grip tightens around Esther's body, feathers, feet…
"Stop crying!" Henry shouts from inside. "I'm not going to feel sorry for you!"
No, Killian, he hears in his mind. Don't let him get hurt...
Eventually, the Dark One decides Henry's safer there anyway until a few people have killed each other at least and the town's population has dropped. But he still orders Killian to stay there and make sure he doesn't escape, which he gladly obliges, needing a few minutes to calm down and steady his breath again.
After some time passes he suddenly feels a wave of magic spread. Then he hears Henry's hesitant voice from inside the office.
"Hey, are you still there? Look, sorry for what I said! Are you alright?"
"Aye, lad," he replies and stands up, opening the door with the potion Gold gave him. "And apologies, too. I was trying to lure you out earlier," he lies even though he feels absolutely exhausted. He didn't manage to sleep the previous night and feeling Esther's pain in his flesh is not helping either.
He goes to the pawn shop one more time only to listen to the Crocodile gloat and give him a few hours again. Killian feels his blood boil at how he keeps postponing the deed, as if giving him "a few last hours" is his way of torturing him further.
This time, Emma does seem genuinely worried. As he approaches them on Main Street and they enter the cars to leave for the town line, she glances around looking for Esther. He simply tells her she was just tired, as is he, and is retiring in his room, waiting for him to join him.
Emma barely seems convinced but she still has her friends to save so he steps back. The Dark One summons him again and he obeys, feeling as if strings are pulling him towards the pawn shop when everything inside him screams to go back to Emma and tell her everything.
He pulls out Esther's cage and sets it on the counter. Killian almost walks towards it but the other man raises his hand to make him halt. Killian can't let him harm her further, not after what he let him do a few hours ago. So he spills everything he knows and Rumplestiltskin appears displeased. He dismisses him, telling him to watch Elsa's sister Anna, who apparently has a history with him, and all Killian can do is sit outside the shop, his head cast down lest anyone sees the absolute despair in his features.
Suddenly, Gold opens the door behind him. "Come in," he tells him simply, and Killian freezes on the lack of a commanding attitude. Why now?
He orders him to call Emma and inform her of the portal. One uninterrupted phone call later, Killian feels his chest tighten. He looks at Rumplestiltskin, a grin on his face as the facts sink in.
Emma doesn't know.
This is it.
With one flick of his wrist, Killian, Gold and the cage are transported to the clock tower, the top floor of which now sports a metal contraption around two adjoined cages. The bars between them seem special than the ones around them. Killian looks at Gold, then at Esther in the cage by his feet. With a swift move of his hands, the cages open and Killian and Esther are flung in the separate ones. Immediately, Killian goes for the adjoining bars, his fingers barely making it through to caress her head. She seems as exhausted as he feels, barely holding up on her feet. Tears fill his eyes again and he looks back at Gold, a sinister smile on his face as he makes the hat appear on his hand. Setting his dagger on the top of the guillotine, he lets the hat fly in the air, exploding as it reaches the top.
He doesn't have time for that now. He looks back at Esther, who is wailing and shivering under his mere touch. He doesn't even have the strength to comfort her anymore, and he feels his tears finally run down his cheeks.
"Esther…" he calls weakly one last time before a bright blue light appears at the top of the adjoined bars, knocking him and Esther back, away from each other.
"No!" he manages as Esther cries out, the light slowly cascading down the bars. Then he finally sees it. Clear, golden-yellow sand slowly flowing away from him and Esther, towards the top of the cage. Dust.
The light almost reaches the middle of the bars and he feels as if someone is literally ripping him to pieces. He can't stop the scream coming out of his mouth as he practically sees his soul being ripped away from him.
Suddenly he hears Gold's grunt, but he doesn't have the strength to turn and look at him.
But he does register Swan screaming his name. For the next few seconds, all he manages to do is listen as blasts of magic are thrown, Gold, Emma and Elsa grunting, and look at the silver-blue light having passed the middle of its destination, Dust still drifting off of him and his dæmon. He closes his eyes.
Suddenly, everything stops. Quiet, save for a few ragged breaths.
"Open the cages, let them go," a female voice orders.
Belle.
As she asks, the doors open, and he feels Esther being carried at the back of Elsa's dæmon - to his arms. He hugs her tightly as she whimpers and shakes uncontrollably. He can barely even hold his own sobs back.
"Never… never again…" he breathes, stroking her feathers with his one hand. Finally, after a few long minutes, his sobs slow down and he manages to open his eyes, seeing clearly. Emma waits in front of him patiently. Her dæmon looks down at him and Esther, curious. Killian lowers his arms, though still carefully cradling his dæmon, and looks back up. Emma looks at him, her eyebrows raised, and he nods. She extends her arm and the ferret walks down on it, hesitating for a moment before crossing the few inches from Emma's hand to Esther's body with a spring. Killian pulls back a little to allow him better access without touching him. Esther looks down at the ferret, who raises on his back feet and gently wraps his tiny front feet around her neck. Killian lets out a ragged breath, relieved. Dæmons touching each other is common and generally accepted, since it's contact between equals and doesn't affect their humans.
Killian puts Esther down gently, and holds onto Emma's offered hand. She pulls him to his feet and immediately in her arms. He sighs again and looks down as their dæmons have a similar moment themselves.
He pulls back gently and she understands; her dæmon leaps to her arms, and Killian bends down and picks Esther back up, holding her as close as ever. Emma pats his arm with her hand and gives him a reassuring nod. He smiles even though everything in his system is about to shut down.
He needs to rest.
He can explain everything later.