I never meant to do it.

I never meant to kill Dumbledore.

Despite that promise, despite my loyalty towards the Dark Lord, I never meant to kill him. He, after all, believed in me when I was helpless, friendless and lost without someone directing me, my actions, what I ought to do. He believed in me whole-heartedly, a fool's innocence.

I never knew the reason behind his trust in me.

Why would anyone want to believe the words of a previous Death Eater, of a man who would most likely revert back to his old ways once the Dark Lord has risen again? I wouldn't even believe myself. The trust he placed on me was without basis, without reason. He believed I would change.

For a period of time, I thought I had.

Then he rose, and summoned us.

I never gathered enough courage to defy him. I did not turn up for that meeting, but after two hours I still went, under the pretense that I was spying for Dumbledore. That look of unsuspicion he gave me was unbearable. I expected him to ask, any moment, about where I was going and what I was doing, and I expected him to just sort of kick me out of the school.

But he never did.

I wonder why he placed that whole-hearted trust in me, when in the end it cost him his life.

That look he gave me when I took my wand out, pointing at that frail wizened body, was one of betrayal. It cut into the deep annals of my heart, right through it, but I didn't relent. He saved me when I was lost and helpless, and this is the way I repay him.

You could say that it was partially his fault too, after all why was he so stupid to trust in me? If he had listened to that air-headed Potter, he would still be alive, his half moon glasses twinkling in the candlelight of the hall. I can still picture him at the start of each year, making that nonsensical speech, instructing everyone to eat first before he talked. He always thought of the students first.

And now, he is gone, never here again to make those speeches.

I walk firmly and surely, looking right ahead of me, while inside, I was grieving.

I killed the only person who believed in me truly for the person I am.