Being an enclosed community, the rumors of what had occurred during Rodney and John's latest Earth-side vacation disseminated quickly through the populace, with the end result very akin to John's attempt at playing Telephone with Teyla and Ronon. Even so, it pissed off Rodney which, while hot, could only be tolerated so long before Rodney built a nuke (fully functional) and threatened to blow up the ignorant grunts chuckling behind his back.
So one of the first things John did upon hearing this rumor was to tell Teyla, Ronon, and Carson that, yes, the situation was true, but no, Rodney had only been in the room long enough to exchange smiles. It was strategic. Carson got to the nurses, Ronon beat the truth into the grunts (ignorant or otherwise), and Teyla was sociable enough to catch anyone else.
Rodney always knew when John had done something to help without consulting first. There was never any thanks given, but every now and then Rodney would insist that he needed a day to test something in a puddle jumper and only the Colonel could handle it, or Rodney would show up on movie night with a collection of brand new movies from the Deadalus before anyone else got their hands on them.
Or even just brushed up against John in the hall, fingers trailing over his sleeve and rubbing the back of his hand affectionately. So there were perks to quashing the rumors. One, which even Rodney didn't know about, was to help quash John's jealousy because, hello, Rodney McKay's lover did not like hearing that Rodney slept around.
Especially when it was with not one, but sixteen Lieutenant Colonel Carters.
He and Rodney had been on Earth because (surprise, surprise), Rodney had accrued over six months of vacation time over the years working for the SGC (of which Rodney'd used two days, to attend a funeral). John had gone because, well, he needed the stress relief, and they could walk around naked in Rodney's apartment--and really, what other excuse was needed?
It was just coincidence that they got trapped in the mountain during the whole Quantum SG-1 issue. Rodney had gone in to talk with a Dr. Lee over some Ancient Communications device, and John had followed because he did have to meet with General Landry at some point about the current Genii situation. They'd both been eating in the commissary when the first quantum team arrived; and of course, a few hours later, once everyone knew what was going on, Rodney had been called to consult because he had studied the quantum mirror more than anyone else in existence.
John followed Rodney, "just for curiosity's sake," he'd said at the time (he'd seen some dark looks thrown Rodney's way by the alternate SG-1 teams, and if he needed to play bodyguard, well, so be it). Then Rodney got to the lab door and just…stopped. John nearly ran into him, but fortunately he'd been paying attention. Unfortunately, his mind hadn't put two and two together in regards to letting Rodney work with his rival, Samantha Carter.
(Rodney had repeatedly reassured John that his thing with Sam Carter had long since passed, that he loved John, and if the two of them were drowning, he'd have Ronon save John. John was pretty sure he heard Rodney mutter that he was the obvious choice since she seemed fine under hundreds of metric tons of water, but John really didn't want to figure out what THAT meant.)
One Dr. Lee and sixteen Sam Carters turned to face Rodney at his semi-entrance. Their Sam Carter, and the Sam Carter from the first team, seemed amused, happy, and a little bit on guard--basically, how every friend treated Rodney. Three others groaned and/or grumbled and turned away from the door, focusing on their work.
One Carter, that had glasses and the geek look down, looked at Rodney like he was a warm, familiar face, positively lighting up--they were probably lovers in that world, though why the woman immediately tried calling her Dr. Jackson, he'd never understand. The remaining ten made various threatening or assessing faces, as if they were somehow plotting Rodney's demise, whether by lemon chicken, orange juice, or just out and out shooting him here and now. One of those ten was fondling her side arm rather…aggressively. John made sure to give them his 'you touch him you die' look, the same he gave Kolya when last they met.
Rodney, though, moved from stunned to giddy to near orgasm (and probably wondering how the hell he'd make it through sixteen of them) to realizing they all probably trumped his ideas at the SGC at some point to wondering if he'd have to watch his back to blanching as he finally caught the looks on eleven of the Carter's faces (John tried not to smirk as the geeky Carter moved a bit closer, which seemed to scare Rodney the most).
All of which approximately took forty-two seconds, at which point Rodney stepped behind John and peered over his shoulder at the assemblage of blonds. Another minute passed, and Rodney cleared his throat. "I, uh, I think I'll just…read the report." He gave the Carter of this universe a quick thumbs up, then hi-tailed it down the hall. John gave the eleven (hey, Rodney WAS his, and he wanted the geek to know it) one last glare, nodded at the two friendly Carters, and followed his scientist.
He found Rodney in a storage closet, breathing into a brown paper bag. "Hey, you okay?"
Rodney didn't even blink. "When we get home," bag inflated, "you are going to have sex with me," bag deflated, "a lot," another breath, "of sex," and another. John simply nodded and patted Rodney's shoulder. It was a lot to take in, after all. Sixteen Carters. He tried to imagine sixteen Rodney's, and his brain nearly shorted out, though whether it was from the thought of a huge orgy or trying to control so many McKay's, he wasn't sure.
The bag finally lowered, and Rodney slumped a bit. "You know…I thought for a second that all my fantasies had come true." John frowned, but didn't say anything. He still had a fleeting fantasy about Teyla and sticks that had nothing to do with fighting, so who was he to cast stones? "But honestly? Not that hot." John blinked. "Compared to you. Having you instead of," Rodney waved his hand toward the door, "that? Hotter. A lot hotter. So, uh…yeah. I really am over her. Friends only." John decided not to mention the geeky Carter again (especially after he met her later with an equally geeky-looking Dr. Jackson and the way they asked if he had seen Rodney had been, well, frankly disturbing).
Rodney, somehow, pulled some strings and had Hermiod transport Rodney and John off-base and back to McKay's apartment (which caused Landry to cuss like a sailor, and Rodney replied by placing the phone in the cat's liter box right as it was taking a dump), and John did have lots and lots of sex with Rodney (the official reason he didn't sit half the trip home was hemorrhoids).
Like all rumors, though, this one had to run its course, even with the truth spreading around (well, the abridged version, anyway). There were ways of speeding it up, and John would always proclaim his innocence, completely and totally, to the next unfounded rumor that hit the following week. Fortunately, he was able to make Parrish a patsy via Lorne, and it appeared that everyone bought it.
Though Novak still refused to speak with him and his underwear supply was mysteriously transported away the next night.