How I Love You
Ok so this is my first attempt at writing CloTi and it's also my first attempt to write angst. Please review. I don't care if you tell me it's horrible and that I suck at writing sad Tifa but just review. It helps to know what you guys think.
Disclaimer- If I owned them we would finally find out who Cloud REALLY loves…..
Everyone sees the happy girl, the one who doesn't cry. They all see the one who is strong and will never fall.
What they don't see is the girl who is sad and has no more tears from crying so much. They don't see the damaged girl who already fell and never got up. They don't see the real me.
I guess you could say I'm a masochist. I willingly let myself suffer when I could easily end it. But you don't understand.
He is like a drug, and I am an addict.
He is like the sweetest wine and I am an alcoholic.
He harms me and yet I'm still here. I'm like a moth attracted to the fire. I can't and won't ever escape it's clutches no matter how hard it pushes me away.
I lost this war long ago and yet I am still fighting. I'm still fighting a ghost a mere memory and what's pathetic is that I'm still losing.
So why can't I just admit defeat?
Simple, because I love him.
I love him so much I can't stop. It would be like killing myself and although I'm damaged I'm not damaged enough to become suicidal.
That's why I'm always going to be here for him. It doesn't matter that he'll never love me back. To me it doesn't matter that he won't ever look at me that way. To me it wont matter when he pushes me away because I still love him.
It's funny how they portray love. They always say it's happy and that they'll always end up together. Except they never take into account the stories like mine.
They never show the stories with unhappy endings. They never talk about how much love can hurt. They never about what happens when you love someone who already loves someone else and won't ever love you.
In the end, I guess, all my pain and sadness is my fault. I shouldn't have fallen in love with you. I should have known better than to try. I guess I could never compare to her. Because she's everything I'm not and she's the one you'll always love.
But I learned the lesson the hard way and now I know that for me there's no happy endings because they only belong in fairytales, they aren't made for real life.
So I finally accepted defeat. I finally gave up trying to get you to see me. I finally let myself go and showed you who I truly am.
I finally showed you the broken girl who's hopelessly in love with you and won't ever leave, no matter what.
Okay so how was that? You know what to do. Please review telling me what you think about this story.