The Lies We Tell Ourselves

By: unrequited1984

Summary: This is angst, pure and utter angst. There's B/B and B/C, and well to put it simply I've been calling this the story where nothing good happens. It's about tragedy in the lives of our dear Bones and how it affects everyone. Character death, not Booth or Brennan, and I hope you don't hurt me for this. This is not a happy story, and I guess it could be called AU.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

The sound of his vibrating phone woke him out of a deep slumber. Frustrated he looks at the clock on the bedside table which told him that it was 2:30 in the morning. Looking over at his bed partner he grabbed his phone and headed towards the living room, not wanting to disturb her. Finally seeing the name of the person calling he gave a deep sigh, he really didn't feel like doing this tonight, but he knew that it's no use fighting it. He flipped open his phone, "Yeah Bones?"

Her voice is high pitched and whiny, not exactly what he wanted to wake up to, "Booth?"

He flopped on the couch, then realizes that he should try to keep quiet, "Yeah Bones, you called me. What do you want?"

There's only silence on the other end and he realized it was going to be one of those nights, "Bones, why do you do this to me?"

When she spoke it was with confusion, like a child, "What do I do? Why are you angry?"

"Bones, it's 2:30 in the fuckin' morning. You can't just call like this anymore, and why can't you ever call me sober?"

That got her Irish up, "I'm not drunk Booth!"

Yeah right, he thought, "Count the wine bottles Bones. How many are there?"

A slight hesitation, "Only 3…wait and the one I'm holding but it's not empty!"

He waited for it, for her analytical mind to do the math for that much alcohol with her body weight, "Ok, I might be a little drunk."

At least she admitted it, "Look Bones, you can't keep doing this. Find someone else, you made it very clear that we were not going to happen, and I can't keep up with all your emotions anymore. I just can't."

God he should have just left well enough alone, she was crying now, "But Booth, I don't know what I did to make you think that. I mean were our physical relations not enough, I can be better, do whatever you want-"

He cut her off, she was straying into dangerous territory, "Temperance! It wasn't the physical stuff, that was fine. But you couldn't give me an emotional commitment, and I can't just sleep with you, I'm sorry. I have to go, I have an early morning."

Her desperate voice called him back, "Can you come over, please? I need you."

He should of known this was coming, "No, not anymore. We are not together anymore Bones. I'm not at your beck and call. You need to learn to deal with all of this without me."

She was quiet now, "Seeley, please."

He couldn't resist when she used his first name, "Fine. I'll be there soon."

She didn't even thank him, just hung up. This was madness, and he knew it. But a part of him would always belong to Temperance Brennan and damnit if she didn't know that, and used it to her advantage. He headed back into the bedroom to get his clothes to find Cam sitting up in bed waiting, "You going to her?"

He faked a charm smile, the real one hadn't made an appearance since he had broken up with Bones, "No hon, it's just work. That was Cullen, I have to be in the office in 20 or my ass is grass."

She looked at the clock, "It's almost 3am, why do they need you?"

He pulled on his pants and began searching for a shirt, "Emergency, apparently some Senator had nightmares and wants us to check under his bed for monsters. That kind of thing," he gave her a strained chuckle, "You wanted to date the mysterious, hunky FBI agent, which means you also get the wonderful hours."

He was dressed in his suit, looking like he was ready for a day of work, but she knew he was lying. And worse in her mind was that he knew that she knew, but the lie lay there between them like the Grand Canyon. Good think I'm a good bridge builder, Cam thought, "Ok, will I see you before I leave for work?"

He shrugged, "I'll try, if not I'll see you at the lab. We're in the middle of a case you know."

She nodded, "Love you Seeley."

As expected he replied, "Yeah, you too sweetie."

He never said he loved her, and she knew he never would. She contemplated, once again just getting up and packing her things. He would never belong to her like he belonged to Dr. Brennan, he would never give her everything she emotionally needed. She looked at her bedside table where a picture of them stood. They looked genuinely happy, another lie, but it was lie she was going to continue telling herself because having part of him was better than having none of him.

Across town, Booth pulled up to her apartment and parked his car. He hesitated, contemplating just forgetting this foolishness and going back to Cam. But he couldn't do it, and got out of the car and walked up to her door. He used his key and not seeing her in the living room walked back to her room.

She turned over to face the door as he entered, "Seeley?"

He nodded and began shucking the suit he had so carefully put on just minutes ago, "You expecting somebody else?"

He had meant to sound ironic but it had come out mean, causing the tears to appear in her eyes again, "No, please hold me."

He knew the drill, they didn't have sex anymore, not during any of these clandestine early morning trysts, just lots of cuddling.

He got into bed and she formed herself to him, laying her head on his chest, silently counting the beats of his hearts, "Seeley, tell me about heaven. Tell me about where Russ is?"

He nodded and calmly spoke of a world with no worries, no war, only happiness until he felt her fall asleep. Looking at the clock and seeing that he had to get up for work in 2 hours he figured he might as well get some sleep while he could. Looking down at the woman in his arms he wished, for about the millionth time, that he had waited. That he hadn't allowed the tragedy of losing her brother to push them together before they were ready, before they were on the same level. But it was too late for that, and now he knew that they'd never have their happily ever after, that he'd content himself with these moments where he could look at her sleeping contently in his arms and forget everything else. It'd have to do, there was nothing left for either of them to give.

The End

A/N: Hands out rotten fruit to readers, go ahead I deserve it, but I told you nothing good happens here.