So, this is a plot bunny, like a really ferocious one that bit me months ago and held on tight. Originally, it was supposed to be a short story, but I think it's naïve at this point to think that there's anything short about it. I meant it to be a bit of a comedy, which is a big departure for me, as it writing in the third person. To those who read, thank you in advance and please review as this style of writing is totally new to me and I could seriously use the feedbacks. To any of my Peace readers who pick this up: Don't expect it to be anything like the Peace series, but hopefully still totally good. Sengoku Basara is an anime that borrows heavily from Japanese history and I feel it necessary to say here that I am writing in an alternate universe from both the anime and our own past, which should be okay since robot samurai don't actually exist either. That being said, I mean no disrespect to the spirits of the men whose names are echoed here and any resemblance this story may have to actual history is only coincidental. I am writing this for stress relief and fun and to try something new, not with much of any true intention, so if you like it please let me know!
I will not say that I was unaware, because to write such a thing would be utterly untrue, but perhaps my misfortunes might have been avoided if I had considered the situation in a different way. I was certainly not tasked with avoiding the mess I eventually fell into and nothing in my previous experience could have prepared me for the fateful moment when my young Master unknowingly dragged me into the sensual intrigues of the Samurai caste. In retrospect, I should have been kinder to Kasuga since her plight soon became my own and I was no more equipped to avoid it than she had been. A love affair with one's Lord may seem appealing to some, even romantic perhaps, but the truth is that such a relationship has terrible consequences. We ninja exist in a separate world from the Samurai and even if we take what the Lords are willing to spend for their own success, our people remain aloof. Separation, distance, between those who serve and their masters is essential in a society where only the strongest are recognized. I, Sasuke Sarutobi, came too close to the flame of the warrior caste and was burned for my indiscretions. Ninja believe that to serve a man is natural, so long as compensation is freely rendered. We are not vassals, we are not pets, we are independent in our own right and do not bend knee to the Samurai kings unless there is gold on the ground. This is the fundamental law the governs all nin and allows us to survive the savagery of our times. This is the law that I broke.
I bent my knee and everything else to my master without gold or silver offered in return, turning my back upon the teachings of my people, on everything that the ninja hold to be truths. I bent for him in every way imaginable and some not, bent until I was no longer the person I had been before, until I was no longer ninja. I have suffered, suffered far more than I ever deserved and the most damnable thing about it is that I am not sure if, given the option, I would have even chosen to avoid the pain. Love is truly an awful thing and love in an age of warfare even worse than the condition under other circumstances. I maintain, even now, that the lessons were never my idea and that I did everything in my power to avoid them. I was caught, as so many people are, in the web of fate and circumstance that conspires to make all of us totally miserable. Why I did not choose as a boy to offer my services to Maeda, or Chokosabe, or anyone, anyone other than Takeda, I will never know. Perhaps I am cursed, the Samurai believe that most of my kind are, and the lives of ninja are never easy. So when I say that our lessons were not in the matter of things or even of men, it is simply the truth as I am able to understand it. If they were lessons in anything, it would be in the nature of my own soul and of his, but the wisdom we gleaned is still some mystery to me. So it is that I write and remember and try to understand…
OoOoOoO
By the time he was 17 years old, it was completely obvious to everyone that my young Master, Sanada Genjiro Yukimura, was more ignorant of the physical aspect of love than even the most cloistered of maidens. Perhaps the reason was merely a product of the era in which we lived. Men fought young and died young and few thought deeply upon matters of romance. Ours was a world perpetually at war in a time when a person's hopes and dreams were made upon the battle field, a time when clever ninja like myself could become rich upon the noble aspirations of Samurai kings. Some ninja even became kings of a sort in their own right and I confess such a thing was my ambition as well. Takeda paid me well and I served him in all ways required of me, which included serving Master Yukimura as his proxy when the situation called for it. I had known my Master since he was a little child and, naturally, came to care for him as the years went by. We were somewhat close and so, of course, I noticed that at the age of 19 winters, the Tiger Cub of Kai knew absolutely nothing of human sexuality. His ignorance was so astounding that even I, Sarutobi Sasuke, began to feel a bit concerned.
It was a small worry, true, in the greater scheme of our campaigns and battles, but my Master's inexperience pertained not only to the bodies of others, but also to his own. I know he felt the urges of his maturing flesh as other boys did, but he channeled the energy into combat as if it were the most natural thing in the world. My Master thought of his body rather distantly and only when he was injured, it was a vessel for the might of his spirit and nothing more. When my Master was thirteen, some of the other men invited him to sit with them as they drank and joked about their sexual exploits, but my Master reacted rather badly to the gesture. He scolded them harshly for speaking of women so callously and returned to the practice of his weapons in a righteous fury that leveled an entire forest. Confused, our men apologized and never spoke of such things in his presence again. My Master was a noble person and he took the matter of a man's honor very seriously, most would say too seriously, and he believed the discussion of a woman's body wholly inappropriate in any setting. For these reasons, he never learned the secrets of sex from his fellows as many young men do and everyone feared enlightening him. To say he was a virgin would have been the understatement of an age.
Truly, the responsibility for his education should have then fallen to Lord Takeda Shingen as he was Yukimura's mentor and sensei in all matters. The oddity of it was that Shingen did attempt to instruct him, but his efforts were all in vain. My Lord Shingen gave Yukimura many examples of art and poetry that should have clearly conveyed to him the idea that men and women occasionally do something other than talk behind closed doors. I regret to say that my Master took the works rather literally, memorized lots of poetry about bulls and flowers, invented a few rather novel wrestling holds, and pondered the pieces without actually making the connection. As any good sensei would, Lord Shingen recognized the problem and hired a courtesan to instruct my Master in all matters carnal. The woman, in her defense, performed admirably and it was not her fault that my Master ended up learning a very lovely tea ceremony and then hiding under the parapets of Takeda castle in tears for the rest of the evening. Yukimura was uncomfortable around women anyway and the girl's patience was not infinite. After several hours of pleasant conversation that led absolutely no where the courtesan pulled him onto a futon and commanded him, in no uncertain terms, to ravish her. My Master refused her out of nerves, blamed himself for cruelly bruising her feelings, and came away from the experience with an enduring fear of women in general and courtesans in particular. He grew to be 19 without ever so much as touching a girl's hand or exchanging a heated look and Lord Shingen came to be occupied with matters far more pressing than his pupil's virginity.
I confess that I really didn't consider my Master's funny little problem to be anything too immediate myself. After all, someday my Master would marry and his wife would take the time and effort necessary to indoctrinate him in the matter of physical love, so what was to worry about? He would surely be a kind and devoted husband, if he even lived that long, and there was no point in fretting over details until the wedding night anyway. Samurai, however, have many strange customs foreign to my own people and it came to be that my young Master was caught in one such practice. Given the boy's history, I think anyone can appreciate why I was nearly in a panic the night Date Masamune, the Dragon Lord of Oshu, took my Master to his bed.
It was during the full moon festival in early autumn and all the lanterns had been lit for the festivities. The Kingdoms Oshu and Kai had enjoyed a fragile tolerance of one another since the fall of the Demon King and Lord Shingen was invited to attend the festival in Oshu as a gesture of goodwill. The whole thing was largely political, a kind of backward sort of thanks offered for the refuge given to Date's troops during the campaign. I have no doubt that Katakura was the mastermind behind all of it since I have never known Date to have much talent for diplomacy beyond that done with the sword. My Lord Shingen attended the festival readily, dressed in all his finery, with Yukimura by his side as was fitting. People drank and sang and sometime a bit past midnight, I noticed that Date and Yukimura were sitting rather closely and very deep in their cups. The two of them had been deeply engaged in conversation for the better part of three hours and practically leaning on one another as they talked, intense and utterly focused.
As I watched, Date brushed his fingers over my Master's jaw and whispered something in his ear, before smirking at him with the serpentine ferocity that had earned him the name Dragon. Date's Right Eye and most favored vassal, Kojuuro Katakura, had been watching the exchange with far more care and attention than I had and yet he made no move to halt the two young noblemen and they gripped each other and slipped away from the festivities. That was odd. Usually Katakura made it his personal mission in life to prevent Date Masamune from embarrassing himself. The man had practically raised the Lord of Oshu and took Masamune's indiscretions very personally.
I was tempted to shrug it off and inform Lord Shingen later. After all, I really thought that the two of them were going to slip away to spar since each of them was far more addicted to combat than any pleasure a mere party could offer. Still, Kojuuro Katakura's expression gave me pause and enticed me to follow Date's favored subordinate in case there might be foul play. Oshu might have currently been an ally, but just a few short seasons ago Kai had waged war with Date's army and the conflict had might have left a few bitter wounds unclosed. My Master was a difficult person to kill on any field of combat, but even the finest warrior's aren't immune from a knife in the back.
To my utter shock, Kojuuro did not go to the training fields to supervise his own young master and temper his ferocity, but instead slunk deep into Date's castle to sit protectively in front of the young Dragon's bedroom door. Perplexed, I dashed outside and found a tree with a decent view into Date's window, worrying that my Master might be in far more danger than I had originally surmised. My worst fears were soon confirmed as Date and Yukimura entered the room from a well hidden passage behind a large golden screen and the Dragon immediately set to ravishing my Master. They embraced awkwardly, and the gesture was rough and filled with the same kind of manic violence as they expressed when fighting. I watched them carefully, an arrow cocked hard in my bow and already aimed at Date's heart. As I watched the Lord of Oshu strip my Master of his kimono and trail his hands over Yukimura's inexperienced flesh, I pulled the bow taught and prepared to fire. Date lathed his tongue over Yukimura's belly, coiling my Master's long tail of sepia hair around his fingers. By the Gods, he meant to do it! They touched again, more slowly this time and I could tell that Yukimura was not being coerced against his will, but I kept the arrow in place anyway.
Perhaps I should have known better, after all it had been a part of my education. All ninja were taught of the strange things that Samurai did with and to each other for the sake of their unspoken passion. I had learned of such practices, at least in the academic sense, with the other ninja in my age group through our training, in case we were ever called upon to exploit a situation of that kind. I even received rudimentary seduction training before my sensei decided that I lacked the proper disposition for such work, even if I did have the looks, and dismissed me. Samurai engaged in the bizarre practice of anal sex, achieving penetration with the aid of lubricants, and rarely for reasons of humiliation or physical domination. Unlike certain pirates who practiced sodomy for the fear and shame the act brought to their enemies, as well as the rather notable lack of women on the open ocean, the Samurai governed their dalliances as they did everything else: with honor. While the love that the warrior lords offered to each other was by no means the same as the kind given to their wives, it was still love, and by all accounts the act was pleasurable to both parties involved. The Samurai loved each other and killed each other, but such was the contradiction of their nature.
Even if the practice was supposedly secret, I had read enough to know at least how it might work and that it happened. Thankfully, I had never been called upon to engage in the act myself, though I had spoken at length with ninja who had. They described the thing as uncomfortable and terribly intimate, more so than loving a woman, but nothing like the brutality enjoyed by some of the pirate kings. So I was not ignorant, though I sometimes wish I had been. I knew that the samurai sometimes took each other sexually, that such encounters were as much a part of the secret code of their society as kunai were of ours. My own Lord, Takeda Shingen, had lain with Kenshin when the Lord of Echigo was barely more than a boy and their intimacy colored their dealings with one another for all the years following. Regardless, I nearly fell out of my tree when Date took one of my Master's nipples into his mouth and made his intentions clear.
The One-Eyed Dragon was as much a ruffian as an aristocrat can be without permanently losing their title and NOT the kind of partner I had hoped my Master might have for his first tryst. The Dragon pulled the kimono from my Master's shoulders, pulling Yukimura roughly into his lap and I nearly let fly. The only reason I stayed my hand and spared the young Lord's life was because of how desperately my own Master clung to him. How he buried his face against the other man's throat, how he opened his mouth readily for Date's barbarian kisses. No, I did not kill him, but the Dragon of Oshu was rough in both his speech and his fighting and I worried. My Master was utterly unprepared for something like this and I didn't want him to be hurt. It wasn't like being hurt on the battlefield. My arms ached as I watched, held my arrow, and tried to decide what in the hell I was supposed to do. I worried. I worried so much that I nearly leapt out of that tree and wrenched the two of them apart, diplomacy be damned.
Looking back, I really shouldn't have been so concerned. Date was no more experienced than my own Master, even if he was infinitely more well-read. He at least had a decent idea about the mechanics of the business, if none of the finesse, and he showed himself to be a far more generous lover than anyone would have imagined. Date kissed Yukimura's cheeks, throat, and chest, even copying that bizarre habit the Western missionaries have of kissing the lips, slipping his tongue into my Master's mouth. Despite Date's rather disturbing barbarian habits, Yukimura seemed to enjoy the love play, touching the Dragon with enthusiasm if not skill. They fumbled with each other like a pair of yearling stags who've managed to get stuck in one another's antlers, fierce and far too eager, and it's a miracle no one ended up bleeding through sheer carelessness. My Master shrieked as Date touched his most intimate body, but with the roaring of the party I doubt anyone other than Katakuro and myself were able to hear him.
Date was slow and considerate, if not particularly talented, and on the whole the act was almost sweet. Their lovemaking, such as it was, reached its conclusion barely an hour later, Yukimura having released as soon as the Oshu lord entered him and Date following a few thrusts later. The two of them fell asleep in one another's arms, mumbling sweet nothings about swords and death no doubt, and slept deeply the rest of the night. I did not fall out of the tree, Kojuuro did not have to make up any clever lies and no one died.
My Master had finally managed to lose his virginity and it hadn't even taken too much alcohol. I breathed a deep sigh of relief and laughed quietly to myself for far longer than they had actually spent having sex. No explosions, no violence and barely any trauma. I certainly couldn't have hoped for better in a coupling between the Tiger Cub of Kai and the One Eyed Dragon of Oshu even if I'd had the luxury to try. Kojuuro slept outside Date's door that night and I imagine he was just as relieved as I was that Date had managed to take such a fierce lover without botching the thing irretrievably. I watched the sunrise, laughing madly to myself and wondering if I should inform Lord Shingen that his pupil had been thoroughly, if artlessly, deflowered by his much beloved rival. It was almost perfect, actually, and I was happy for my Master even if I found the idea behind the relationship rather strange. Samurai and their fierce love affairs with one another were odd anyway, but loving both life and death as dearly as they did is bound to make men peculiar in more ways than one. If the whole business could have been left at that, perhaps I might have been spared. Fate is a strange thing.
OoOoOoO
The following day my Master approached me with a huge smile on his face, cheeks flushed and golden brown eyes filled with fire. I bowed and smiled as well, hoping to stem his enthusiasm quickly so I might be able to steal a few hours of sleep before we returned to Kai.
"Sasuke! I have had the most enlightening experience! Last night it was as if the heavens opened up before me and swallowed me in their sacred fires, piercing the very substance of my soul with a revelation my unworthy eyes could scarcely comprehend! I am truly changed!" He gushed.
"Hmm, sounds exciting." I yawned.
"Excitement! Sasuke there are no words for such excitement! Such exquisite union of flesh and spirit, our bodies like a single beast with far too many teeth…!" He exclaimed, practically bouncing.
"That good, huh? I never would have thought Date Masamune would…"
"Date! He was magnificent! He truly is the dragon of his name sake and if one were to have told me how powerfully a mere man might have wrapped his dragon coils around me, how he could have melted my spirit with his flames…" Yukimura went on, obviously totally besotted.
"Yep, he was pretty good." I agreed, rubbing my eyes.
"It was like the heady joy of combat, as hot and glorious as any battle I have ever fought! Better! Even the sweetness of an enemy's defeat is paltry by comparison! Better than anything I have ever known!"
"It usually is." I sighed.
"He is truly powerful and even in memory the feel of him, of his very gaze, scalds my soul! He heated me like metal in the forge…his hands, his hips, by Kami his…his mouth!" Yukimura gushed, far too loudly in my opinion.
"I'm glad his barbarian habits did not offend you, Master." I chuckled, putting my hand lightly over his lips to quiet him a bit.
"What offense could I complain of! If anything, his skill makes my own failure all the more unbearable!" The boy wailed.
"Wait, what failure?" I asked, wondering if I had somehow missed something between one thought and the next in the moment while I was yawning.
"The Lord of Oshu deserves more than the rushed and awkward coupling I so ignorantly forced upon him last night! I was like a foal newly born and trying to stand while he…he knew everything!"
"Master, I don't really think you forced him to do anything and I assure you that he doesn't know everything…" I laughed, utterly mystified by his reaction.
"You don't understand! I am so terribly ashamed Sasuke! He wants me, wants to meet with me again and yet how can I ever face him after such a tremendous failure!" Yukimura moaned.
"Master, I know what occurred and I can tell you truthfully that you did perfectly well." I said at last, sighing.
My Master blinked at me a moment, golden brown eyes huge and filled with confusion, before breaking into a wide grin once again. I was surprised and quite unnerved by his reaction, after all most people do not like being watched while in the intimate embrace of another. Yukimura laughed aloud and pulled me into a rough hug.
"You watched us, didn't you, Sasuke!" He whispered jubilantly in my ear.
"I was concerned that there might be foul play…"
"You are truly the finest of all ninja!" He bellowed, lifting me off of the floor in a bone cracking embrace.
"Master! Put me down!" I gasped as my vertebrae shifted ominiously.
"You saw and so you know! You know everything!" He shouted.
"Yes! I do! Believe me when I tell you that the act went well and that the dragon enjoyed himself thoroughly." I gasped, struggling to escape his grip.
"Even so, he has challenged me, in matters most intimate, to reciprocate next that we meet." Yukimura said, suddenly serious as he set me down once more.
"Reciprocate?"
"Yes. Reciprocate." My Master said, raising an eyebrow meaningfully.
Apparently the One-Eyed Dragon of Oshu wanted to be on the receiving end of the experience in his next tryst with Yukimura, reversing their roles and putting my Master in control. Such a gesture was likely more a statement of mutual respect than an actual challenge, but there was no way Yukimura would see the invitation that way. As far as he was concerned, his rival had laid a battle plan onto the table and then asked if he was able. There was also the possibility that Date was curious. The sentiment was peculiar and I certainly could not imagine wanting to be penetrated by another man under any circumstance, but then again Date was an odd boy on all counts.
"Well…um…just copy his example I suppose." I supplied, shrugging.
"That's ridiculous! Would you have me bumble through something so terribly important without as much as a beacon to guide my actions and no sensei to direct me? Unthinkable! My shame would increase a thousand fold and it is unbearable already! Such a thing requires skill Sasuke, knowledge! What if I angered him and we became enemies?" Yukimura shouted.
"My Master, you already are enemies." I stated, crossing my arms.
"We share a noble rivalry, true, but I could never live if Date harbored true hatred for me! How could I even engage him in fitting combat, knowing that his malice was due to my own idiocy? What if I hurt him!?" Yumikura wailed, obviously upset.
"My Lord, the Dragon of Oshu is not a man easily hurt…" I sighed, one finger stuck deep in my ear through sheer reflex, soothing my tender hearing from the assault of his voice.
"Please Sasuke! You must help me! I cannot bear the shame of disappointing him when next we meet!" Yukimura shouted, nearly hysterical.
"Master! Get a hold of yourself! Someone will hear!" I snapped.
"Sasuke, you must teach me! Please be my sensei!" Yukimura shouted, throwing himself into an abject bow at my feet.
"Master! Stand up! Before someone sees you!" I hissed, mortified by the undignified display Yukimura was making of himself.
"But Sasuke, I have no recourse!" He moaned, tears beginning to gather in the edges of my Master's ever expressive eyes.
"Master, these skills are much like the sword and best learned with practice." I said.
Surely it was the best advice that I could easily give him and, though I would learn to regret it in the future, I still stand beside my statement. Most people learn the art of sex with their lovers or wives, exploring the other person's unique preferences, experimenting and learning together as is only natural. Additionally, counseling my young Master to practice would surely bring greater pleasure to both him and to Date, while allaying Yukimura's fears.
"Practice! Yes! That is indeed wise!" My Master shouted, striking his fist into his own palm enthusiastically.
"Yes, well, have fun." I yawned and turned to leave.
"But Sasuke! We leave for Kai in only a few hours time!" Yukimura wailed as if the time had only just occurred to him.
"Yes, and some of us wish to sleep a while before that happens…" I groaned.
"There is not enough time to practice!" He hissed, looking at me intently.
"Master, there will be plenty of time in the future…"
"No, Sasuke, no! That is not so! When next we meet…"
"What?" I asked, utterly mystified.
Yukimura sighed heavily and looked away, his face suddenly far more still and tight than I ever remember seeing him before. He bit his lip, choosing his words carefully, and I moved to kneel before him as he struggled. That is the luxury of a ninja, or any servant I suppose, to simply sit and wait while those who must make the decisions about things do so.
"The next time we meet could very well be my only chance to love him again, if the gods even grant me that and if we both survive that long. Things change so quickly and this peace we have… I cannot be foolish enough to think it will last…" Yukimura whispered, eyes fastened on some distant image visible only to him.
"Oh. Yes Master, I suppose that may be." I replied, suddenly ashamed of the flippant way I had treated him.
"I want the next time we meet to be…I want to be better, for him and for both of us really. I never feel like I have enough time…" He sighed.
"Master, I have never heard you speak this way before." I noted, taken aback.
"I was never afraid of dying before, but if I die without loving Date again…I think I would be very unhappy." He whispered.
There it was. My Master, the boy who had charged into battle without reservation since he was twelve, who commanded armies, who slew the most renowned swordsmen of our era, was afraid. He was finally forced to face his own mortality and the revelation had not happened in the steel jaws of the wars, but in the arms of a lover. I sighed. What a perfectly miserable time for Yukimura to decide to be an adult, I thought, rubbing my head and trying to formulate a reply that would sound somewhat reasonable.
"I understand your fear, Master…" I began softly.
"So you see, then! You understand now why I need your help!" He whined.
"Why me?!" I groaned.
"Well, because, it's you…"
"Master, not to be obtuse, but what does that even mean?" I asked, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Well…Who else would I ask?" He asked, blinking like a fawn in the sunlight.
I honestly had no idea. Lord Shingen had already given the matter his best effort and teaching Yukimura about intimacy the way some Lords taught their students…well, I could not really picture either of them surviving the experience. Lord Shingen was a great teacher and he loved Yukimura very much, but the nature of their relationship did not lend itself terribly well to sex. That particular kind of education is best left to someone unlikely to knock you through the wall for being dense. I winced just thinking about it.
"No one I suppose." I muttered sullenly after several beats of painful silence.
"So you'll do it? You'll be my sensei?"
"If I must." I sighed.
"Thank you Sasuke! Thank you! I am honored!" He shouted, clapping his hand over his heart.
"Ugh…This is a very bad idea." I groaned.
"Sasuke! Don't be so melancholy! What could happen?" He asked brightly and I felt the Takeda army walk over my grave.
OoOoOoO
Some say that the definition of insanity is to do that same thing, time and time again, and expect a different result, but frankly I had hoped that the outcome might have been better. I procured Yukimura a large number of books from several countries, all with very fine illustrations and told him to use them for reference. My Master, ever the willing student, sat beneath the cherry tree in which I was resting and immersed himself in the resources. He was reading carefully and I was nearly drowsing, but only a few minutes had passed before the problems with this approach became painfully clear.
"Sasuke…?"
"Hmm?"
"I can't read this. It isn't in Japanese." Yukimura noted.
"You don't have to read it, just look at the pictures. It's the Kama Sutra, it's in Hindi. The pirate I bought it from said that it was immensely helpful." I yawned and a few more moments passed.
"Sasuke…?"
"What?"
"All the pictures are of men and women." Yukimura stated, pointing as if I had missed it.
"I know. Extrapolate."
"Well…I guess…" He muttered.
A few blissfully peaceful minutes passed and the cherry tree drifted a bit in the breeze. I was just drifting off again, warm in the afternoon sun and still exhausted from my last mission, when I heard my Master gasp. I smirked and hoped he had seen something that he liked. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky.
"Sasuke! Come down here!" He hissed.
"What's the matter?" I asked, poking my head down through the foliage.
"Date and I cannot do THAT." He snarled, pointing to the offending painting.
I took the book and squinted at it only to decide after several moments that I was holding it upside down. I flipped the book, but that barely helped. The position was impossible unless both parties were contortionists and even then it would have been ambitious to say the least.
"That one's a little…advanced. Look for others." I said, handing it back.
"I don't understand how I am supposed learn anything from this!" He groaned, cradling his head in his hands.
"Don't give up so easily! Just keep reading until you find something that you like." I suggested, smiling.
"Alright." He grumbled.
I sighed and wondered idly about Kasuga. Winter was coming and all ninja were required to report to their home villages on the longest night in order to receive news and celebrate the passing of another year. Kasuga would likely spend the holiday sitting at Kenshin's feet, her master totally unaware that anything important should be happening at all. Even though he loved her, even though he treated her better than his own wife, the Lord barely knew anything about her. She was not some noble lady to be kept in a gilded cage and covered in silks and yet he did keep her, despite the sin of it, he kept her tethered to his love like a falcon tied to a hunter's hand. She had been sent to kill Kenshin and ended up sleeping with the man instead, an act that placed her firmly on the kill list for her village and many of the others as well. If Kenshin had been even a fraction less feared than he was, the woman would have been taken and punished long ago for her crimes. I glanced down at my young Master, frowning at his erotic paintings, and felt a bit cold despite the softness of the weather. I was too fond of him, even then.
"Sasuke…"
"What?" I asked, forcing myself not to groan as my comfortably drifting mind was pulled awake once again.
"You said to look until I found something that I like…"
"Yes…" I replied, bemused.
"Well, what do you mean by that exactly?" He asked.
"Master, in things like this, the best thing to do is to start with what you like. If you like it, Date will probably like it too." I explained, yawning.
"Well…I like poetry?" Yukimura offered, blushing.
"No, not poetry. What you like…um…physically." I said, gesturing vaguely.
"Physically?" He asked, blinking in confusion.
"Yes, what feels good to you physically. Do whatever feels good to you to him." I said, a bit irately.
"Well, I like hot sake, that feels good it its cold outside. I like exercise too…" Yukimura said, smiling.
"Well…exercise with him, I'm sure you'll have fun…"
"Sasuke, how does exercise have anything to do with this? I exercise seven hours a day and it certainly never prepared me for the exquisite ecstasy, the divine sensuality…" Yukimura began, already heading for another long narrative of Date's sexual prowess.
"No, no, no! You've misunderstood. I mean what you like to do to yourself!" I huffed, interrupting him.
"Do…to myself?" Yukimura asked, raising an eyebrow in question.
"Yes, what you do to yourself for pleasure. What you do alone, late at night…" I hinted.
"Sasuke, I'm sleeping late at night just like everyone else." Yukimura said, crossing his arms, mutinous brown eyes tipped up to meet my gaze through the branches.
"What you do when you can't sleep." I practically snarled.
"Well…I practice, how is that relevant?" He shrugged, looking totally confused.
"You never do…anything else?" I asked, praying, praying to all the gods that he wasn't that innocent.
"No, it's too dark to read…"
"Master, don't you ever…um…do anything…do anything to yourself to find…um…release?" I asked, as delicately as possible.
"Release from what? Sasuke, you're being cryptic! What do you mean?" He asked, tossing the book aside.
Sighing, I slid from my comfortable perch in the cherry tree to crouch beside him. Blushing, a bit ashamed, my Master picked up the foreign book again and gently brushed the grass off of the leather cover. I sat beside him, musing for a moment, trying to decide exactly how I wanted to explain the idea of masturbation to him. No one had ever told me about the act of self-pleasuring, no one had needed to, but Yukimura had a rather different perspective on life in general than most people. Really, I should not have been surprised that he knew nothing of his own body. He barely even noticed when he was bleeding…
"Well…many people like to touch themselves in the same places that a lover would. It feels good and can be a good way to learn too, a bit like practicing the form of a martial stance or throw without a partner." I said, rather pleased with myself that I had managed to find some way to relate the thing to martial arts.
"That seems like it might be…awkward." Yukimura whispered shyly.
"No, it's quite natural."
"So, I touch…um…myself…where Date touched me and try to learn what feels the best?" He asked, wincing and looking panicked.
"Yes! Exactly!" I exclaimed, grinning and trying not to sound too relieved.
"Well…If you think it's a good idea…"
"Of course it is! Like I said, the best way to learn is to practice, ne?" I winked jovially.
"I…suppose…" Yukimura hedged, obviously a bit upset.
"Why don't you try it and see?" I suggested, smiling and escaping back up into my tree before the conversation could go any further.
OoOoOoO
He did try, I have no doubt of that, but I should have known that something as utterly cursed to total disaster as Sanada Yukimura's sexual education could never have been so easily dealt with. I was called away for several days following our first lesson, much to my relief, and I hoped that in that time he might have come to some sort of revelation. He would surely know himself better and perhaps, I thought foolishly, he might have even progressed to a stage where he no longer required my guidance.
This was not the case. In fact, if the good folk of Kai ever learn that Yukimura's rampage was due to my suggestion, I have no doubt that they will promptly have me hanged. My Master was nearly a force of nature unto himself anyway and, of course, any force of nature spiraling out of control is generally considered to be some kind of cataclysm. My ninja and I left and my Master spent the next several night engrossed in a competition with himself that, quite literally, shook the very foundations of everyone in the kingdom. That all of Takeda castle felt the force of my Master's frustration was no small thing in itself, but that was expected and both our servants and soldiers had grown accustomed to the power of his moods. For the rest of the populace, however, the days Yukimura spent trying to experiment by himself were something akin to a hurricane. Structures were destroyed, the land changed and at the end of it everyone just felt grateful to be alive. In retrospect, it was only because of Lord Shingen's unerring intuition that the kingdom managed to survive it at all.
The problem was that while I had left Yukimura with an idea of how to go about his explorations, I had not given any forethought to the problems presented by such a task. My Master managed the arousal part of the exercise most admirably, but, for whatever reason, he could not seem to manage to release aspect of the maneuver. Yukimura was a passionate person and so the mere thought of Date coupled with a shy touch was enough to fill him with ardor, but moving on from there was a bit beyond him. I had been confident that his natural human instincts would finally kick in and that his own body might finish the rest of his education for me. Why I ever thought the Yukimura even had human instincts only serves to show that I did not know him nearly as well as I thought. No human being can be knocked through walls with the regularity that my Master was and expect to live and yet I thought he might simply fumble through the art of masturbation on feel alone like the rest of humanity. Whatever my Master is, fey or god, expecting him to act like a human being was nothing less than pure idiocy.
A late night caress and a few colorful fantasies later Master found himself fully aroused for the first time and too shy and inexperienced to do much of anything about it. Being the utter martial perfectionist that he is, Yukimura's failure only made him try more aggressively, which, as any normal person knows, is an awful idea. As his sexual frustration built and grew more intolerable and the days passed, the balance of the universe, by necessity, dictated that other things must fall.
The other ninja in house Takeda's employ later informed me that by the second day of my absence, Yukimura came to be wholly consumed by some mysteriously violent hatred of all inanimate objects. First, he smashed piles of firewood into splinters, tore the stables to pieces looking for his saddle and took out an entire block of tea-houses, unintentionally, while trying to scare off an overzealous peddler. Feeling worse the following morning, my Master somehow altered the course of the local river, reduced the Takeda marketplace to veritable rubble and the crushed his favorite dojo into kindling. Despite the fact that none of this destruction was in any way malicious, the people expressed a strong desire for Yukimura to take both his strength and his moods someplace they might be less damaging to both the castle and the economy. Ever kind-hearted, my Master then attempted to spare the towns people and direct his frustration towards more appropriate targets. He destroyed all of the stone training manikins, tore dead-wood stumps out of the ground with his bare hands and leveled several large boulders at the base of the mountains into gravel as well. The demolition was less public, but no less impressive, and failed to soothe my Master in any way. I hate to think about what might have happened to the local geography if Yukimura had been allowed to continue for the entirety of my absence.
Thankfully for the residents of Kai, Lord Shingen recognized his student's unhappiness and put him through a rigorous training routine that would have surely killed a normal man. His frustration finally redirected onto the familiar goal of warrior prowess, Yukimura proceeded to train for three days without sleeping and eventually calmed himself enough to walk about the castle without smashing everything in sight. By the time I returned, Yukimura had collected some of his composure and was nearly speaking in entire sentences which, I gather, was a marked improvement from his previous state. I was told, in no uncertain terms, by the guards at the castle gate that Yukimura had ordered me to report to him at once as soon as I arrived.
Naïve to the end, I shrugged and turned towards the main reception hall only to be vigorously redirected to my Master's private chambers. Apparently, Lord Shingen had dismissed him from the Takeda court until whatever ailed him subsided enough to spare the furniture. I really should have guessed that something was amiss when the two guards, giggling with relief, half carried me to Yukimura's quarters and shoved me into the reception area before fleeing shamelessly back to the gatehouse. My Master was waiting for me, looking sleepless and slightly insane, the Kama Sutra still sitting in his lap like an omen.
"Sasuke! Thank Kami! Help me!" My Master shouted before I had even finished kneeling before him.
"Help you? With what?" I asked, confused.
"With…with…with this terrible BURNING! Can't sleep! Can't eat! Touch only makes it worse! I feel like I am in the midst of battle all the time!" He practically spat.
"Oh." I replied sheepishly.
"You are my sensei in this, you must know some way…" He began, waving a hand in the air urgently, words apparently requiring too much focus.
"Perhaps I should fetch some tea to help you relax…" I offered, blushing and feeling slightly nauseas.
"I don't WANT to relax Sasuke! I want…I want…I don't even know what I want!" He moaned.
"Master, I understand that you are frustrated…"
"FRUSTRATED! Sasuke, this is HELL!" He practically shrieked.
"…But I have a few pressing responsibilities first." I finished firmly.
"No! Surely it is nothing crucial! I need you here!" He pleaded, looking panicked.
"Master, I must report to Lord Shingen and then…" I argued, bowing once and turning to stand.
Yukimura lunged off the cushion where he had been sitting and grabbed me tightly around the waist. Yelping, I tried to turn and only succeeded in tripping over his elbow and landing in a graceless heap against him. We scuffled about a bit as I tried to stand and Yukimura tried to kneel without letting go of me until both of us managed to make it into a more or less upright position.
"Lord Shingen is expecting me!" I snapped.
"But…Sasuke!" He wailed.
"Master! I promise you that I will return in a few minutes and…and we…we will figure this out." I said, blushing hard and suddenly acutely aware of how tightly he was holding me.
"I've failed…" He cried looking a mere heartbeat away from actual tears.
"This is not a failure, its…well…an obstacle." I finished, feeling foolish and also dizzy.
What the situation was, in actuality, was a total catastrophe. I had no idea what to do, much less what to say, and Yukimura had never been the most patient of people to begin with even when he wasn't desperately close to full blown hysteria. Lord Shingen was on the other side of the castle and, even if I could manage to summon him, he was just as likely to let my Master crush the life out of me as a lesson for being stupid as he was to actually intervene. I have never been afraid of my Master, but one thing that anyone in Kai knows about Sanada Genjiro Yukimura was that he had next to no conception of his own strength.
"Master, please…You shouldn't hold me this way…" I hissed, trying to unlock the death-grip he had on my waist.
"I don't know what to do!"
"First: Let me go. Second: Get a grip on yourself!" I snapped, flicking him hard in the forehead with the sharp edges of my steel-girded gauntlets.
"Sasuke!"
"NOW!" I roared using a tone I had never once turned against him before.
Yukimura took a deep breath and nodded, releasing his hands from around me with what was obvious effort, and scooting a short distance away to sit in a disconsolate heap on the floor. I had never seen him so panicked and I felt ashamed of my own actions as well. Why the gods cursed me to be such a magnificent assassin and such a miserably deficient friend is only one of the great mysteries of my life. I could halt wars single handedly and topple kingdoms, but I could not seem to manage one lonely, passionate teenager who trusted me with the most intimate details of his life. I bowed to him again and Yukimura looked at me with shame in his eyes as well, before turning to stare murderously at his spears leaning against the wall. Oh, how I wanted to say something! Anything!
Instead, I smoothed my hair and stood, resolving to make this the most concise report I had ever delivered to Lord Shingenin my life. My hands were shaking and I could not tell if it was because I was angry with myself or anxious or simply terrified. After spending an infinite heartbeat trying regain my own composure, I moved from the room and shut the door softly behind me. A few of my own ninja were waiting in the shadows of the hall, looking both furtive and concerned, a terrible combination whenever my kind are concerned. Already I had crossed a very serious line, becoming more than merely a servant to Yukimura and my brethren were already suspicious of my behavior. I flashed them what I hoped was a nonchalant smile and turned towards Lord Shingen's audience chambers without another word.
OoOoOoO
A hot bath and an hour of excruciatingly detailed instruction delivered modestly through a Shoji screen eventually managed to remedy the situation, but by the end of the trial I was nearly as exhausted as my Master. I sat with my back against the bamboo ribbed paper and tried not to think any thoughts about body parts not my own or bathes in general. Yukimura sighed, made a few noises that sounded suspiciously like sobbing, and finished the bath without speaking. By the time he was dressed and sitting beside me, still flushed from the heat of the water and the general awkwardness of…well…everything, I thought I might be a bit hysterical myself.
"That was awful." He said, shutting his eyes.
"This was my fault, Master, I'm sorry." I said, moving to bow low before him in apology.
"I ask too much of you, Sasuke. It is I who am ashamed." He replied.
It felt like my forehead was pressed to the tatami for an age or more while both of us struggled for something to say. Finally, my Master gently hooked a finger under my chin and slowly raised my face to meet his own. He smiled at me a little, brown eyes filled with too many emotions not the least of which was shame, and then stroked a tender thumb down my cheek in a gesture so fond and familiar that it nearly stopped my heart. I knew I should pull away, remind him that such a thing was not only inappropriate but also wholly uncalled for given the nature of my failure, but his hand was so warm. Ninja rarely enjoy such a touch, something so guileless. For us, every breath and movement must have a purpose, but samurai…samurai have such strange reactions.
"Master…" I whispered.
"This is okay Sasuke, it is. This is just how learning usually goes! This is like getting knocked through the wall when I don't understand! It's exactly the same! You are a very good sensei!" He exclaimed.
"Master…I don't really think this is the same." I managed.
"It is, Sasuke. You just don't have much experience teaching. Don't worry. It's just like learning any other thing. The only difference is that this is a lesson in the matter of souls instead of the body alone." Yukimura said, grinning.
"But…" I began to argue.
He placed his thumb against my lips to silence me, his heat and closeness both unnerving and succulent. My Master's hand against my face was somehow far more familiar and electric than even the most erotic caresses of the women I had known. Like most of my kind, I occasionally seduced women for information or reveled with prostitutes when the night was too cold to sleep in the trees. Their love, love bought with coin or a lie, was nothing like the radiant affection in my Master's hand or face. I gasped and swallowed hard, tried to speak, tried to tell him to stop, but it was all worthless in the end. Despite all I knew and every possible logical conclusion I had ever drawn in my life, I leaned into his warmth and allowed myself to be soothed.
So taboo, so utterly wrong and yet gentle and pure in a way no one had ever been with me. There was no impatience or competition, no hasty fumbling or ridiculous protestations of love or lust or whatever the emotion had been in my encounters before. Yukimura merely let the weight of his hand rest against the skin of my face and, despite reason or dignity, I felt my very soul ignite in response. Slowly, but without any kind of hesitation, the Tiger Cub of Kai cradled my face close to his own and brushed his lips against his own thumb, his breath warm against my trembling mouth. I knelt before him, shaking, trying to close my eyes so that I would at least have the pretense of being uncomfortable, but even a lie of the flesh is impossible with Sanada Yukimura. He hadn't even kissed me and already my mind was utterly overwhelmed.
"You're warm Sasuke." He whispered, cocking his head.
"I'm blushing, Master." I said, my brain and mouth moving at odds with one another.
"In shame?"
"Yes…" I lied.
"Oh Sasuke, what do you have to be ashamed of?" He asked, chuckling hotly.
"I…I failed you." I managed closing my eyes at last.
"No Sasuke, I fell down today, but you were there to catch me. You always are." He sighed, lips quirking into a smile against the skin of my cheek.
Some would say that such a thing, such a blatant caress, could never be anything other than a seduction, but I profess that my Master had no clear intentions at all. He was touching me for comfort, because he had been frightened and because I was there to be touched. For him, I suspect it was the same as the times when he was thrown from his horses as a boy and I was there to wipe the dirt from his cheeks. I had bandaged his wounds and sat behind Yukimura, pressed against his back in the saddle, to rest when our given tasks had to be accomplished in kingdoms far away and my feet were tired. Such things were not peculiar for a man who had known a servant since he was a child, something like the way a Lord might consider a beloved hound, and indeed I even slept at his feet when we were in the field. So why should he think that this, a gentle embrace to comfort, was not in some way the same?
No this, this first indiscretion at the very least, it was my own failing I am certain. Perhaps the touch was more intimate, more heated than it had been before, but he was still warm from release and reacting to our conversation as any person would. I was still his friend and he was still my Master and Yukimura really had no one else to hold this way, but I nearly fainted all the same. It was not the first time we had touched and yet the contact was so spectacularly different. To accuse him failing to understand the difference, to expect him to comprehend what such a touch might mean to me was not only unfair, but outright laughable. He had no idea that the innocent press of a hand against my face could be something more than amiable affection or that a kiss against his own hand was a kiss all the same.
"I did not catch you, Master." I whispered.
"This is not warfare, Sasuke. Falling must be different too and catching as well. I am learning." His replied, his soft laughter like a breath of summer wind against my face.
We sat, pressed nearly cheek to cheek, whispering into one another's ears the way I sometimes would with my operatives when enemy ears were close. The feeling, the huddled, chilly awareness of being overheard, had somehow eclipsed the action for me before and blinded me to how utterly terrifying it was. Of course, leaning cheek to cheek with another ninja was not at all the same as being pressed against the bath-warm skin of a samurai who had masturbated for the first time to the sound of my voice.
"You should not touch me this way…" I gasped, trying to look away.
"Am I hurting you?" He asked, backing away, brown eyes wide and startled.
"No, but…" I fumbled, blushing even harder.
"Sasuke, are you ashamed again? You're blushing even more than before…" He noted, raising an eyebrow.
"I…I'm not ashamed…" I said, the terror making the truth jerk it way from my lips.
"Then what does it mean?" He asked, lips less than a breath from my own.
"I…I don't know." I replied, breathing so fast I was seeing stars.
"I blush when Date holds me, is it the same?" He asked gently, voice smooth and purely curious.
"Probably." I breathed, relieved.
He understood why I was so uncomfortable, after all he must since even the press of a maiden's hand against his own was enough to nearly send him into full blown hysteria. I sighed and tried to pull away, thinking I had perhaps escaped, that his hand against my skin would simply fall away. It was foolish of me.
"Does it feel good, then? When I hold you this way?" He whispered, moving closer.
I know I could have lied or explained or done any number of perfectly rational things to save myself from breaking a vow to my clan. Perhaps I might have even spared myself the effort and given him a good shove as I had before. Yukimura was neither stupid nor cruel and he would have understood, both the words and the gesture. Instead, I followed his succulent heat, relaxed into the exotic sincerity of his hands and whimpered, surely half mad:
"Yes."