Dark…
Hollow…
Lifeless…
That's all the carriage house is now; all it has been for the last three months.
For a while, Wade refused to acknowledge these thoughts. Refused to let them take root inside his mind and create doubt within his heart.
He never wanted to let his doubts, his low opinion of himself, affect his happiness again. Not after…
He finishes off the half empty beer in his hand and sets it on the table next to four other empty bottles.
It's been hard, even with the Rammer Jammer taking up most of his time.
Most days, the simple fact that he, Wade Kinsella, owns a profitable bar keeps him in check. Reminds him that he has changed, that he can be better... have better.
But every time he looks across the pond at night and sees that darkened house, he's reminded of happier times of when the house was dark due to a blown fuse box.
He grabs the remaining unopened beer bottle that's on the porch and pops the cap off.
At first, he didn't mind it.
Hell, on most days he even used the memories to fuel his hope that she would take him back. But now…
Now he can't ignore how that empty house is just a physical representation of how hollow he feels.
At least not tonight, not after Zoe Hart emailed all of Bluebell that she wasn't coming back.
He can't help but feel guilty for her deciding to leave for good. Wouldn't be surprised if the whole town boycotted the Rammer Jammer just to punish him for chasing her away.
"I'd figure you'd be sitting here mopping."
He looks away from the house to see Lemon walking up the porch steps toward him.
"What's the matter? Can't survive one night without me?" he jabs at her.
"Oh I can survive just fine, thank you very much," she replied. "But after seeing the town's reaction to Zoe Hart's tasteless emails. I figured you wouldn't be fairing much better."
"Look, I'm sure this will all blow over soon," he huffs. "Not like there's any other bar in town and everyone hates Fillmore too much to go drinking there."
"What on earth are you talking about?" she retorts. "This whole debacle has been great for business. In fact, tonight we've earned our highest profit to date."
His eyes widen.
"Don't give me that look, you would've know if you decided to come into work today instead of calling off," she chastise him as she settles down in a near by chair.
"Look, as the only one who knows about your declaration of love to that infuriating women..."
"Yeah for all the good it did me," he scoffed.
"And as your business partner," she continues as if she wasn't interrupted. "I know how hard today must be for you. I mean why else would I just let you call off without any notice on such a busy night, a favor I'm sure you can find a way to repay me for later, but if you think that Zoe Hart can stay away from Bluebell after all the time and effort she's put into fitting in around here, then I'm not sure you even knew her at all."
"Since when did you become an expert on Zoe Hart?" he ask skeptically.
"When her presence in this town started to affect my personal life," she states. "Have you never heard the phrase 'keep your friends close but your enemies closer?'"
He knew she was right. Zoe couldn't stay away from Bluebell for long. She's made an impact on this town and it on her; she's not the type of person to leave. She cares to much about it's people.
This town is apart of her life now and her life is apart of it's life, whether or not it fits into that damn picture inside her head.
Taking a swig from his beer, he just wonders if there's any room for him in that life anymore.
"Wade…" Lemon waits for him to focus on her again. "You've grown so much over the past year – everyone has seen it – and I'd hate for all that growth to just dissolve over someone who can't see a good thing in front of their own two eyes."
"Don't you worry, I knew me and her getting back together was a long shot anyways," he says.
"Personally, I think your too good for her," she states. "But if you tell anyone I've said that, I will deny it," she hurries to add.
"Even in a court of law?" he asks as he finishes off his beer.
"Of course," she confidently says while smirking.
"How about at church?" he teases.
She purses her lips and narrow her eyes at him playfully.
He misses this playful side of Lemon, has rarely seen it since high school. It's nice to see her enjoying herself again.
"Well it's getting late and after tonight's big crowd, I have a feeling that we are going to be busy at breakfast tomorrow," she says as she gets up from her chair. "You will be there to open up tomorrow morning, no excuses, so you should call it a night and go to bed."
"Yes mom," he sings at her as she walks toward her car.
He looks out across the pond again as he listens to Lemon's car start up and leave.
He should have know better than to let himself head down that road full of sorrow and doubts.
Zoe's going to come back, maybe not to stay but she'll visit. She cares to much about the people of Bluebell not to.
Feeling lighter, Wade stands up and starts collecting the empty bottles on the porch.
After tossing them out, he starts to head inside but he can't resist one last look across the pond.
Maybe it's about time that he stops looking over his shoulder toward the past.
He'll give it a few days before he suggest anything to Lavon, but it's about time a new tenant puts some life back into the carriage house and fill it up with light again.