A/N: I do not own anything related to the Hunger Games. All credit goes to SC for the characters and the inspiration. This is my first fic attempt. Comments welcome.

Update 3/12/13: I am fixing the formatting on each chapter with more line breaks to make it easier to read.

Unknown

Each step. Closer with each step. Within seconds he will be upon me. How could I have been so careless to venture away from my only means of making it out of this nightmare? Quickly averting my eyes to the right, I can see where my bow leans precariously against the tree not 25 yards away.

But here I am flat on my back watching as the stealth hunter creeps towards me. Another step. His eyes meet mine. It's now or never. I leap from my shallow hiding spot, and start running in the direction of my only chance. I can almost reach it when I feel the sharp stabbing pain in the middle of my back.

I hit the ground, my head spinning, my breathing becoming erratic. I am still reaching, or at least I think I am, but my arms can't move. I hear him through a small laugh, "Girl on fire." Then a whispered, "this is going to be slow and painful." I see the glimmer of the blade's edge, mixed with what must be some other poor tributes blood. How many has he killed? I will never see her again. I failed to keep my promise. I close my eyes, hearing the sound of the air as his arm brings the blade down into…

Nothing. I open my eyes tentatively and see darkness. I allow myself to draw in a much-needed breath of air, filling my lungs painfully. Then another breath, and this time I let my eyes scan ever so quickly, my dark surroundings.

I swear I can still smell the forest floor, where seconds ago I was slowly losing my life. Another few precious seconds and my mind begins to register the faint smells of my home.

The fresh paint of my new room is foreign, the scented fragrance that permeates my bedding. I slowly rise up to sit on the edge of the bed and continue to try to make sense of where I am and of this new life. This is real. I survived that torment only to be constantly reminded of it in fresh new ways each night. This has become my routine over the past few weeks.

I wonder around the district aimlessly, hunt, search with all my being for a tinge of the life I left here, retire to my new house, and then relive the battles all over again, dying in some horrible way each time. These dreams are so real it makes me wonder if it's not another game the Capitol plays on the victor, some sort of mind-controlling procedure that keeps you afraid of everything around you.

I make my way to the bathroom and spend a few minutes splashing cold water on my face. Trying to wash away the pain and refocus my thoughts. This isn't how I pictured it all those years growing up.

I have always detested the thought of those faces that peered out into the crowd never to return. I never really gave it much thought beyond that. I was never given that luxury – the ability to spend time carelessly thinking about things that weren't part of my life. From the time my father died, it has been up to me to provide. She depends on that. My sister, Prim, is the gentle loving spirit that needs me.

I was never allowed to stop for a minute, for fear I might miss that one opportunity to secure enough food for her to make it. Now, as I turn the water off and reach for the towel I think of how I always imagined that on the rare chance someone from my district could win, that their life would somehow be magical and free.

Freedom. It's a word my father used on one of our first hunting excursions. He was explaining the dangers of being out in the wild, when we came to the perimeter fence. He was quiet and asked me, "What do you hear Katniss?"

I listened with all my might and could hear nothing. "Exactly", he had said. He went on to explain how the peacekeepers wanted us to think that the fence is electrified to keep out the wild animals and protect us.

"But that's not why they do it. There is nothing in the forest beyond this fence that can hurt us, only what can hurt them", he told me. "What can hurt them", I asked? I wasn't even really sure who them was.

Somehow reading my expression of confusion, he explained that the fence wasn't for our protection, but for the Capitol's. The Capitol knows that which lies beyond this fence is the most powerful danger of all – freedom.

Snapping back to the fresh towel I was using to dry my face, I tried to push away the memories of my father. They still stung to the very core of my soul. How distant the idea of freedom now seemed. That's what they wanted you to believe, that the victor was gifted a life of luxury and freedom from the oppression.

But in my short time there in the Capitol, I quickly learned that I was a captive in a whole new way that no one could understand. Well, no one but the boy. He was a new kind of captivity in my life. One I wasn't really sure how to place. I lay back down, but was too nervous and scared to give into sleep, so I stared aimlessly at the ceiling. Being awake brought on fresh new nightmares and anxiety.

I thought of the chilling exchange where I learned that my last attempt at surviving with any bit of sanity had marked me for a life of constant fear and desperation. It has also linked me to a deep deception with the boy, Peeta. Haymitch's words resounded so loud in my head as he told me about the unrest I had caused with those berries.

What I had thought was my only answer to the impossible question of what I was going to do when the gamemakers all but told me I had to kill Peeta, became the very act that would bring a wrath I didn't know existed from them. Great, another situation to add to the list of things I needed to be aware of and try to protect my loved ones from. I guess this is where being a hunter made it difficult.

In the woods, keenness and the ability to scan every inch of your surroundings is the key to possibly eating that day. But that same train of thought also made it impossible to forget, even if for just a moment, all that's required as you scanned your environment for danger. In this game, that danger included me and those that I loved.

Before the games, it was a little simpler. I had only to provide for me and my family.

Sure, I helped Gale – we helped each other, but when I lay down at night I could let go of any worry and concern for his family, as my only obligation was to Prim and my mother. I never really even worried about Gale.

Again, I wasn't given the time to relax and think about myself and how those around me made me feel. He was my hunting partner and a means to provide for my family. I never allowed the thought of anything deeper than that to invade my mind. It was pointless. I wasn't even sure I would classify him as a close friend – didn't have time for those either.

It wasn't until I was on the stage, and our eyes locked that I realized I might be looking at him for the last time and my heart hurt, if only for a second, it hurt that I never realized what he meant to me.

Those thoughts were quickly overpowered when Effie called his name. Peeta Mellark. In an instant I was back in the alley behind the bakery - cold, wet, and hungry. Not just hungry for food, but hungry for life. It was that close to being unattainable, and then there he was. I watched as his mother scolded him, for what I wasn't sure.

As he stepped out on the porch, I almost couldn't make out his features. It was like a mirage when the bread hit the ground. He had become my one savior, the difference between a sure death and the promise that my life could go on, no matter what the circumstances. He didn't know it, but at that moment he was the source of the spark in my life that made me who I was standing there.

It was also the moment that he took up permanent residence in my heart. Hidden, deep down, under all the priorities in my life, but he stayed there. It was why it was instantly hard to think about having to face him in the arena. It was why I couldn't find the will to end his life and walk away the lone victor. All of these thoughts began to fight for their place in my mind and my head hurt.

The sun's rays beginning to peek through the curtains gave me a momentary moment of peace as I struggled to think about what I would do with this day.